zenmomma *

>>>As for the spanking part. I use it as a last resort. If they get spanked
>>>once a month the get spanked a lot.>>

Yes, they do get spanked a lot. I'm glad my husband doesn't think it's okay
to hit me only once a month. For that matter, I'm glad my son, almost 14 and
getting bigger than me by the minute, doesn't think it's okay to hit me now
that I'm smaller than him.

Luckily we all have relationships based on trust and respect. I don't hit,
my husband doesn't hit, my kids don't hit. We don't hit each other. We don't
hit other people.

I hope you'll listen to any negative feedback you get about spanking with an
open heart. Your babes want your open arms, not the back of your hand. Life
can be better without spankings and punishments. Even if it's "only" once a
month.

I can feel that you are a loving and giving parent, Yoki. You want what's
best for your family. Family life really can work with peaceful parenting.
Really.

>>I know what it means to be abused. So does their father. And he does not
>>like me to spank them for anything, but seeing as I am the disciplinarian,
>>he just respectfully bows out, :o)>>

I know you are not abusing your children, but you are also not parenting as
gently and mindfully as you maybe could. Maybe you could talk to your
husband a bit more about why he objects to spanking.

Life is good.
~Mary

"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the green
earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly alive."

~ Thich Nhat Hanh




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In a message dated 4/12/03 7:10:13 PM, zenmomma@... writes:

<< >>I know what it means to be abused. So does their father. And he does not
>>like me to spank them for anything, but seeing as I am the disciplinarian,
>>he just respectfully bows out, :o)>>

I know you are not abusing your children, but you are also not parenting as
gently and mindfully as you maybe could. Maybe you could talk to your
husband a bit more about why he objects to spanking. >>

Mary's point is good.
I would much prefer for my husband to take my child's side than mine. If
there's any "respectfully" deferring, I think it should be being respectful
of the children's safety and peace, not respectful of the disciplinarian.

Sandra