Why they wouldn't listen was Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Christians again
Kelly Lenhart
>Why would a kid NOT take their loving intelligent helpful givingWhy would they? Especially for a younger child who hasn't developed the
>parent's advice?
>-pam
empathy to understand "I know it's fun for me but not for my brother when I
poke him in the head every time I go by." They aren't being "bad" I agree,
but they just don't get it.
Or, their need to do the offending thing is greater at that time than your
need to have it stop, or at least they percieve it that way.
I can think of bunches of situations why they wouldn't. The issue, I think,
is more about the parent understanding and accepting the reasons they
wouldn't stop and not just assuming they are being "willful" or "bad" or
whatever.
Kelly
Have a Nice Day!
I can think of bunches of situations why they wouldn't. The issue, I think,
is more about the parent understanding and accepting the reasons they
wouldn't stop and not just assuming they are being "willful" or "bad" or
whatever.
<<<<>>>>>>>
I think this is the crux of the whole unschooling philosophy. Its not that there is no "guidance". Its that the reason and motivation for the guidance is coming from a different place.
Instead of thinking in terms of "rebellious" and "defiant" or "because of a sin nature", I think "in need of information", "in need of understanding", "in need of maturity that just isn't there yet", "in need of time to cool off, so that we can talk".
At least that is what I strive for, but I'm not perfect.
Kristen
is more about the parent understanding and accepting the reasons they
wouldn't stop and not just assuming they are being "willful" or "bad" or
whatever.
<<<<>>>>>>>
I think this is the crux of the whole unschooling philosophy. Its not that there is no "guidance". Its that the reason and motivation for the guidance is coming from a different place.
Instead of thinking in terms of "rebellious" and "defiant" or "because of a sin nature", I think "in need of information", "in need of understanding", "in need of maturity that just isn't there yet", "in need of time to cool off, so that we can talk".
At least that is what I strive for, but I'm not perfect.
Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: Kelly Lenhart
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, April 12, 2003 5:59 AM
Subject: Why they wouldn't listen was Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Christians again
>Why would a kid NOT take their loving intelligent helpful giving
>parent's advice?
>-pam
Why would they? Especially for a younger child who hasn't developed the
empathy to understand "I know it's fun for me but not for my brother when I
poke him in the head every time I go by." They aren't being "bad" I agree,
but they just don't get it.
Or, their need to do the offending thing is greater at that time than your
need to have it stop, or at least they percieve it that way.
I can think of bunches of situations why they wouldn't. The issue, I think,
is more about the parent understanding and accepting the reasons they
wouldn't stop and not just assuming they are being "willful" or "bad" or
whatever.
Kelly
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Pamela Sorooshian
On Saturday, April 12, 2003, at 02:59 AM, Kelly Lenhart wrote:
have a good life with people happy and peaceful around them.
I did NOT mean that as a rhetorical question. I mean that THAT is the
question a parent needs to ask him or herself IF a child is doing that
kind of thing frequently. It is NOT natural for kids to habitually be
mean to siblings or parents.
-pam
>Because kids very naturally like to please their parents and like to
>> Why would a kid NOT take their loving intelligent helpful giving
>> parent's advice?
>
>> -pam
>
>
> Why would they?
have a good life with people happy and peaceful around them.
I did NOT mean that as a rhetorical question. I mean that THAT is the
question a parent needs to ask him or herself IF a child is doing that
kind of thing frequently. It is NOT natural for kids to habitually be
mean to siblings or parents.
-pam