Career moms
Winifred Haun + Dancers
>Do you think it's more "natural" for women to feel thisI think we're partly programmed as caregivers by society, parents'
>way than men? Why is that? Is it because we're programmed as caregivers
>and fixers-of-whatever's-wrong from the time we're small?
>
>**** Kim ****
>runs with scissors
expectations, etc., but it didn't really effect (affect?) me until I had a
baby. Until I became a mother, I never cared much about a clean organized
home and I never thought about the low nutritional value of some of the
things I would eat. As the mother, I'm the natural bottom line. I DO care
more about things for my baby (now little girl) than my husband. And
nature, through all those birth, breastfeeding hormones probably intended
it that way (somebody's got to be in charge...). So, in our house I
became the one who insisted on getting things clean and organized, eating
organic, etc. probably for two reasons, 1- I really cared more and 2- I
needed something to do with my leftover work model.
And I think the work thing is connected to the way women have inserted
themselves into the working world, which is to adopt the typical male
model of work which is to work in a very focused way, without
interruption, without children around, and to let your work define you
(which I definitely did). Then when its time to be at home with the kids,
it somehow isn't enough, we feel lost, and then we make up for it by being
superwomen at home. Just a theory.
I never worked for the money. As a choreographer and dancer, I never made
much anyway, so when the time came to give up work, money was not an
issue. I finally figured out that I missed the actual work, the attention
and the status. When I figured this out, it became easier for me to make
decisions.
I hope this makes sense, Wini
_____________________________________
WINIFRED HAUN & DANCERS
4225 N. Oakley
Chicago, IL 60618
773-583-2995
http://www.mcs.com/~wini/
______________________________________
Debra Bures
I am a potter--my dh and I have a pottery studio/art gallery. I have not
been working in the studio for a year. I used to try to do it all--make
stuff, do kids, , do the house. One November day(gray in NE Ohio), I found
myself sitting at the kitchen table, with newspapers, dishes, stuff, and my
energy piled up all over the place--we had been out all day and had arrived
home at about 6pm. There i was, sipping Rescue Remedy, and realizing that
that was nuts!!! I din't need to do it all. So my husband and I decided
that her would do the studio/business unlesss something was going to cost a
lot of money--then we'd decide together--and i would do the home stuff. then
2 yrs ago my mother and grandmother were very ill at the same time(and died
within 5 weeks of each other).So that became our focus for a while.
We often talk about parenting as the most important "job"--that years from
now, no one will care about the business--but the legacy of healthy kids
will endure. Do I miss working in the studio? Sure I do at times. But
I've tried crazy and I don't like it at all. My daughter and I made a
porcelain tile last year, which we called Generations--it represented the 4
generations of women that we had had in the family. I'd like to do moreo of
this kind of thing with my kids.
Today we're going to an coop--I'm going to explore hands-on art history
with a bunch of kids.
Debra
been working in the studio for a year. I used to try to do it all--make
stuff, do kids, , do the house. One November day(gray in NE Ohio), I found
myself sitting at the kitchen table, with newspapers, dishes, stuff, and my
energy piled up all over the place--we had been out all day and had arrived
home at about 6pm. There i was, sipping Rescue Remedy, and realizing that
that was nuts!!! I din't need to do it all. So my husband and I decided
that her would do the studio/business unlesss something was going to cost a
lot of money--then we'd decide together--and i would do the home stuff. then
2 yrs ago my mother and grandmother were very ill at the same time(and died
within 5 weeks of each other).So that became our focus for a while.
We often talk about parenting as the most important "job"--that years from
now, no one will care about the business--but the legacy of healthy kids
will endure. Do I miss working in the studio? Sure I do at times. But
I've tried crazy and I don't like it at all. My daughter and I made a
porcelain tile last year, which we called Generations--it represented the 4
generations of women that we had had in the family. I'd like to do moreo of
this kind of thing with my kids.
Today we're going to an coop--I'm going to explore hands-on art history
with a bunch of kids.
Debra
----- Original Message -----
From: "Winifred Haun + Dancers" <wini@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, February 10, 2000 11:36 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Career moms
> From: Winifred Haun + Dancers <wini@...>
>
> >Do you think it's more "natural" for women to feel this
> >way than men? Why is that? Is it because we're programmed as caregivers
> >and fixers-of-whatever's-wrong from the time we're small?
> >
> >**** Kim ****
> >runs with scissors
>
> I think we're partly programmed as caregivers by society, parents'
> expectations, etc., but it didn't really effect (affect?) me until I had a
> baby. Until I became a mother, I never cared much about a clean organized
> home and I never thought about the low nutritional value of some of the
> things I would eat. As the mother, I'm the natural bottom line. I DO care
> more about things for my baby (now little girl) than my husband. And
> nature, through all those birth, breastfeeding hormones probably intended
> it that way (somebody's got to be in charge...). So, in our house I
> became the one who insisted on getting things clean and organized, eating
> organic, etc. probably for two reasons, 1- I really cared more and 2- I
> needed something to do with my leftover work model.
>
> And I think the work thing is connected to the way women have inserted
> themselves into the working world, which is to adopt the typical male
> model of work which is to work in a very focused way, without
> interruption, without children around, and to let your work define you
> (which I definitely did). Then when its time to be at home with the kids,
> it somehow isn't enough, we feel lost, and then we make up for it by being
> superwomen at home. Just a theory.
>
> I never worked for the money. As a choreographer and dancer, I never made
> much anyway, so when the time came to give up work, money was not an
> issue. I finally figured out that I missed the actual work, the attention
> and the status. When I figured this out, it became easier for me to make
> decisions.
>
> I hope this makes sense, Wini
>
> _____________________________________
> WINIFRED HAUN & DANCERS
> 4225 N. Oakley
> Chicago, IL 60618
>
> 773-583-2995
>
> http://www.mcs.com/~wini/
> ______________________________________
>
>
>
>
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[email protected]
I'm Sandra. My children have never been in school and are 1, 3, 5 and 7.
Before I had children I was such a careerist. I spent a decade in film and
tv production. I've spent the last 8 years pregnant or nursing. I'm now
finding myself feeling ready to move back out into the world more. My older
children are starting to feel that way too I think. I've put wordly
ambitions on the back burner and I'm starting to feel like the walls of
this house are closing in on me at times. (Could be the end of winter
cabin fever too) I'm now wondering if there is a way to begin stepping
back out into the world more as a family. Kind of like the Partridge
Family. Either through a family buisness or project that can serve others.
We are all musically inclinded, my husband's a physician, my background is
in media and the healing arts. So we'll have to see what evolves as our
family grows. Are there any stories out there of families out there
living/working/learning together in freedom?
I look forward to hearing from you. And thanks for all the valuable
information and support through this list.
Warmly,
Sandra Greenstone
PS. My husband and I just wrote a book called "Healing at Home" that is
accompanied by a companion Healing Kit. We wrote it to help famlies like
our/yours become more self reliant and empowered in the healing process
combining alternative and conventional medicine. If your interested go to
www.antrhopress.org or www.amazon.com. Take care.
Before I had children I was such a careerist. I spent a decade in film and
tv production. I've spent the last 8 years pregnant or nursing. I'm now
finding myself feeling ready to move back out into the world more. My older
children are starting to feel that way too I think. I've put wordly
ambitions on the back burner and I'm starting to feel like the walls of
this house are closing in on me at times. (Could be the end of winter
cabin fever too) I'm now wondering if there is a way to begin stepping
back out into the world more as a family. Kind of like the Partridge
Family. Either through a family buisness or project that can serve others.
We are all musically inclinded, my husband's a physician, my background is
in media and the healing arts. So we'll have to see what evolves as our
family grows. Are there any stories out there of families out there
living/working/learning together in freedom?
I look forward to hearing from you. And thanks for all the valuable
information and support through this list.
Warmly,
Sandra Greenstone
PS. My husband and I just wrote a book called "Healing at Home" that is
accompanied by a companion Healing Kit. We wrote it to help famlies like
our/yours become more self reliant and empowered in the healing process
combining alternative and conventional medicine. If your interested go to
www.antrhopress.org or www.amazon.com. Take care.