a question about TV restrictions
[email protected]
Okay. I know that this topic has been sort of discussed to death, and I'm
sorry if my particular question has already addressed. I have been trying to
read all of the posts on the subject (and there are many...LOL) and I am
wondering where some of you stand on the sexual content of so many shows and
movies. My son is 11. I, personally, do not have a problem with the violent
aspect because my son is pretty clear on his comfort level. The same is true
of really emotional stuff (death of a parent, friend, pet...stuff like that).
The trouble is that there are so many shows and movies that I know he would
love (for their other content...like magic, adventure, etc.) but sometimes
the sexual content is almost pornographic (okay, I'm exaggerating here,
LOL... I just find it beyond my comfort level.) Not just people in bed
together where it is implied that there has been sex (which is how it was
when I was growing up. Most of it went over my head. LOL). Should I let his
comfort level be our guide in these cases too? If so, how? I really
struggle with this, because I feel like I go way overboard with this aspect
of TV restriction. Still, there are some things that I feel are not good for
him to be exposed to. Do most of you just skip the show when this is the
case? Do you let your children be the judge? Thanks.
Wendy in FL
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
sorry if my particular question has already addressed. I have been trying to
read all of the posts on the subject (and there are many...LOL) and I am
wondering where some of you stand on the sexual content of so many shows and
movies. My son is 11. I, personally, do not have a problem with the violent
aspect because my son is pretty clear on his comfort level. The same is true
of really emotional stuff (death of a parent, friend, pet...stuff like that).
The trouble is that there are so many shows and movies that I know he would
love (for their other content...like magic, adventure, etc.) but sometimes
the sexual content is almost pornographic (okay, I'm exaggerating here,
LOL... I just find it beyond my comfort level.) Not just people in bed
together where it is implied that there has been sex (which is how it was
when I was growing up. Most of it went over my head. LOL). Should I let his
comfort level be our guide in these cases too? If so, how? I really
struggle with this, because I feel like I go way overboard with this aspect
of TV restriction. Still, there are some things that I feel are not good for
him to be exposed to. Do most of you just skip the show when this is the
case? Do you let your children be the judge? Thanks.
Wendy in FL
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sorcha
I guess I'm backwards from a lot of people. It shocks me that so many
people say they don't have a problem with violence but they have a
problem with sex. I mean, violence is people hurting each other, and
sex is people loving each other. If I was going to censor one and keep
the other, I'd definitely censor the violence and keep the sex.
Sorcha
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
people say they don't have a problem with violence but they have a
problem with sex. I mean, violence is people hurting each other, and
sex is people loving each other. If I was going to censor one and keep
the other, I'd definitely censor the violence and keep the sex.
Sorcha
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
Graphic violent sex is not appreciated by my kids - they prefer that I
let them know that I think they'll not be happy to have watched it. And
I prefer that too.
Funny sex, loving sex - even if pretty graphic - is okay with us.
I'm a lot more likely to warn them about gory violence or super super
sad stuff. Or jump-out-and-startle-you kinds of scary movies - those
they don't much like.
My kids are now 12, 15, and 18 -- but this was true when they were
younger, too.
-pam
let them know that I think they'll not be happy to have watched it. And
I prefer that too.
Funny sex, loving sex - even if pretty graphic - is okay with us.
I'm a lot more likely to warn them about gory violence or super super
sad stuff. Or jump-out-and-startle-you kinds of scary movies - those
they don't much like.
My kids are now 12, 15, and 18 -- but this was true when they were
younger, too.
-pam
On Tuesday, April 8, 2003, at 09:59 AM, wenrom31@... wrote:
> Still, there are some things that I feel are not good for
> him to be exposed to. Do most of you just skip the show when this is
> the
> case? Do you let your children be the judge? Thanks.
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/8/03 11:06:16 AM, wenrom31@... writes:
<< Not just people in bed
together where it is implied that there has been sex (which is how it was
when I was growing up. Most of it went over my head. LOL). >>
Two of Holly's favorite shows these days are Dharma and Greg and Friends.
Both discuss sex a lot. Many jokes abot sex. Some she gets, and some she
doesn't, but when it's handled lightly that way it doesn't bother me.
Dharma and Greg is about the sex lives of married couples--the conservative
parents who rarely have sex, the hippy parents who ALWAYS have sex, the main
couple, and the crazed Jane and Pete.
Friends is more about unmarried sex. I just blame that on New York. ;-)
If I were homeschooling because of being fundamentalist Christians those
shows would both be really offensive to me, I'm sure. And I would shame
Holly for even WANTING to watch them.
But I'm not a fundamentalist Christian, and I don't want to shame Holly.
For all we know she will become the world's greatest sex therapist or
relationships counsellor and what she's watching and thinking right now is
better preparation for her future than anything else on the earth we could
do. Or maybe she's just interested in the outfits and interior decoration.
I don't know, but it doesn't matter, either.
And my other question is on WHAT shows is there graphic sex? I don't see
much or any on TV (but we don't have cable, either).
I rented "Unfaithful" to watch myself, and I did warn Holly away from it. I
paused it when she passed through. I failed to notice Marty walking up
behind me once during a particularly rough and dirty moment, but he's also 14
and mostly probably wondered why I'd be interested in that story. But it's a
pretty wonderful movie, just not something kids can really even begin to
understand, since it has so deeply to do with relationships they haven't
begun to have.
We advise, and kids trust our advice. But we don't restrict.
Sandra
<< Not just people in bed
together where it is implied that there has been sex (which is how it was
when I was growing up. Most of it went over my head. LOL). >>
Two of Holly's favorite shows these days are Dharma and Greg and Friends.
Both discuss sex a lot. Many jokes abot sex. Some she gets, and some she
doesn't, but when it's handled lightly that way it doesn't bother me.
Dharma and Greg is about the sex lives of married couples--the conservative
parents who rarely have sex, the hippy parents who ALWAYS have sex, the main
couple, and the crazed Jane and Pete.
Friends is more about unmarried sex. I just blame that on New York. ;-)
If I were homeschooling because of being fundamentalist Christians those
shows would both be really offensive to me, I'm sure. And I would shame
Holly for even WANTING to watch them.
But I'm not a fundamentalist Christian, and I don't want to shame Holly.
For all we know she will become the world's greatest sex therapist or
relationships counsellor and what she's watching and thinking right now is
better preparation for her future than anything else on the earth we could
do. Or maybe she's just interested in the outfits and interior decoration.
I don't know, but it doesn't matter, either.
And my other question is on WHAT shows is there graphic sex? I don't see
much or any on TV (but we don't have cable, either).
I rented "Unfaithful" to watch myself, and I did warn Holly away from it. I
paused it when she passed through. I failed to notice Marty walking up
behind me once during a particularly rough and dirty moment, but he's also 14
and mostly probably wondered why I'd be interested in that story. But it's a
pretty wonderful movie, just not something kids can really even begin to
understand, since it has so deeply to do with relationships they haven't
begun to have.
We advise, and kids trust our advice. But we don't restrict.
Sandra
Have a Nice Day!
On cable channels, there is graphic explicit pornographic sex going on. And Howard STern is the king of it all.
On one show, he had 2 naked girls, and a group of men playing "anal ring toss". I won't go into describing how it was accomplished. It was on bec, dh was flipping through channels and he gets a kick out of howard stern, but even he couldn't believe this one.
I found it very disturbing.
There is another show called "Real Sex" and they showed how they make molds of "private parts" for use by those who want them. I don't care that those molds exist, but I didn't really need to SEE how they were made.
So, I do get a little concerned over what my kids might be stumbling across when they stay up later than I do.
Kristen
On one show, he had 2 naked girls, and a group of men playing "anal ring toss". I won't go into describing how it was accomplished. It was on bec, dh was flipping through channels and he gets a kick out of howard stern, but even he couldn't believe this one.
I found it very disturbing.
There is another show called "Real Sex" and they showed how they make molds of "private parts" for use by those who want them. I don't care that those molds exist, but I didn't really need to SEE how they were made.
So, I do get a little concerned over what my kids might be stumbling across when they stay up later than I do.
Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, April 08, 2003 2:40 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] a question about TV restrictions
In a message dated 4/8/03 11:06:16 AM, wenrom31@... writes:
<< Not just people in bed
together where it is implied that there has been sex (which is how it was
when I was growing up. Most of it went over my head. LOL). >>
Two of Holly's favorite shows these days are Dharma and Greg and Friends.
Both discuss sex a lot. Many jokes abot sex. Some she gets, and some she
doesn't, but when it's handled lightly that way it doesn't bother me.
Dharma and Greg is about the sex lives of married couples--the conservative
parents who rarely have sex, the hippy parents who ALWAYS have sex, the main
couple, and the crazed Jane and Pete.
Friends is more about unmarried sex. I just blame that on New York. ;-)
If I were homeschooling because of being fundamentalist Christians those
shows would both be really offensive to me, I'm sure. And I would shame
Holly for even WANTING to watch them.
But I'm not a fundamentalist Christian, and I don't want to shame Holly.
For all we know she will become the world's greatest sex therapist or
relationships counsellor and what she's watching and thinking right now is
better preparation for her future than anything else on the earth we could
do. Or maybe she's just interested in the outfits and interior decoration.
I don't know, but it doesn't matter, either.
And my other question is on WHAT shows is there graphic sex? I don't see
much or any on TV (but we don't have cable, either).
I rented "Unfaithful" to watch myself, and I did warn Holly away from it. I
paused it when she passed through. I failed to notice Marty walking up
behind me once during a particularly rough and dirty moment, but he's also 14
and mostly probably wondered why I'd be interested in that story. But it's a
pretty wonderful movie, just not something kids can really even begin to
understand, since it has so deeply to do with relationships they haven't
begun to have.
We advise, and kids trust our advice. But we don't restrict.
Sandra
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Mary
From: <wenrom31@...>
<<Still, there are some things that I feel are not good for him to be
exposed to. Do most of you just skip the show when this is the case? Do
you let your children be the judge?>>
Well I guess I really don't have much of an answer for you but I do know
what you mean. We have cable here so when someone mentioned Howard Stern and
Real Sex, we get all that here. Howard Stern is always shadowed out so I
think the kids would be past it without realizing what's going on. Real Sex
is nudity in all it's glory.
My 3 youngest right now aren't even interested in that kind of stuff.
Certain love scenes make them uncomfortable enough now to not want to watch.
We respect that. I'm not exactly sure when that will change. If we are
watching something now with more than just nudity in it, like a Real Sex
thing, I will change the channel if the kids come into the room. But
thinking about my oldest, who is 17 now, I never restricted her tv. She
always had a tv in her room. Something the others don't have. We've always
had cable. She was free to find them if she was looking and probably come
upon them by accident. I guess I just trusted that she would ask me if
something came up she was curious about. I never really thought about it. I
do remember my husband commenting that maybe at 2 in the morning, she might
be watching something "not appropriate." I just never thought it was a
problem. We were always pretty open with Tara. And she was/is a school kid,
so I would think that might make matters worse.
I'll have to ask her when she comes home if she ever went hunting. Now I'm
curious.
Mary B
<<Still, there are some things that I feel are not good for him to be
exposed to. Do most of you just skip the show when this is the case? Do
you let your children be the judge?>>
Well I guess I really don't have much of an answer for you but I do know
what you mean. We have cable here so when someone mentioned Howard Stern and
Real Sex, we get all that here. Howard Stern is always shadowed out so I
think the kids would be past it without realizing what's going on. Real Sex
is nudity in all it's glory.
My 3 youngest right now aren't even interested in that kind of stuff.
Certain love scenes make them uncomfortable enough now to not want to watch.
We respect that. I'm not exactly sure when that will change. If we are
watching something now with more than just nudity in it, like a Real Sex
thing, I will change the channel if the kids come into the room. But
thinking about my oldest, who is 17 now, I never restricted her tv. She
always had a tv in her room. Something the others don't have. We've always
had cable. She was free to find them if she was looking and probably come
upon them by accident. I guess I just trusted that she would ask me if
something came up she was curious about. I never really thought about it. I
do remember my husband commenting that maybe at 2 in the morning, she might
be watching something "not appropriate." I just never thought it was a
problem. We were always pretty open with Tara. And she was/is a school kid,
so I would think that might make matters worse.
I'll have to ask her when she comes home if she ever went hunting. Now I'm
curious.
Mary B
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/8/03 5:13:27 PM, sorcha-aisling@... writes:
<< I guess I'm backwards from a lot of people. It shocks me that so many
people say they don't have a problem with violence but they have a
problem with sex. I mean, violence is people hurting each other, and
sex is people loving each other. If I was going to censor one and keep
the other, I'd definitely censor the violence and keep the sex. >>
This is exacty how I feel too!!!!! Lara.........
<< I guess I'm backwards from a lot of people. It shocks me that so many
people say they don't have a problem with violence but they have a
problem with sex. I mean, violence is people hurting each other, and
sex is people loving each other. If I was going to censor one and keep
the other, I'd definitely censor the violence and keep the sex. >>
This is exacty how I feel too!!!!! Lara.........
Backstrom kelli
Me too! I have always said this to my husband! It is so backwards, this country is very puritanical in nature! My 10 year old was there for both of the two births of my other children. She was the one in 3rd grader who told everybody in her class waht a vagina is. Kelli
Laramike12@... wrote:
In a message dated 4/8/03 5:13:27 PM, sorcha-aisling@... writes:
<< I guess I'm backwards from a lot of people. It shocks me that so many
people say they don't have a problem with violence but they have a
problem with sex. I mean, violence is people hurting each other, and
sex is people loving each other. If I was going to censor one and keep
the other, I'd definitely censor the violence and keep the sex. >>
This is exacty how I feel too!!!!! Lara.........
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Laramike12@... wrote:
In a message dated 4/8/03 5:13:27 PM, sorcha-aisling@... writes:
<< I guess I'm backwards from a lot of people. It shocks me that so many
people say they don't have a problem with violence but they have a
problem with sex. I mean, violence is people hurting each other, and
sex is people loving each other. If I was going to censor one and keep
the other, I'd definitely censor the violence and keep the sex. >>
This is exacty how I feel too!!!!! Lara.........
Yahoo! Groups SponsorADVERTISEMENT
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
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To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelly Lenhart
>And my other question is on WHAT shows is there graphic sex? I don't seeSandra
>much or any on TV (but we don't have cable, either).
I would think the show that we watch which has the most sex is Buffy: the
Vampire Slayer. Lots of "comic book" violence, but also some real emotional
things about violence. It also has lots of sex and sex talk. These are
teen to twentysomethings discovering themselves and love in what is
basically a war zone. Buffy's most recent relationship (with a vampire no
less) had a fair bit of S&M references, lots of skin (mostly his YUMMY!!!)
and some scenes of public (although very subtle) sex. I'm frequently AMAZED
at what they get past the censors. I think we've seen everything on Spike
except his actual plumbing and bum. (For which I personally am thankful.
Can you tell I fancy the man??)
There is NO way my seven year old caught most of that. He gets that Buffy
and Spike have a complicated relationship and aren't sure how they feel
about each other, but the rest???
Of course, he's also used to seeing his dad and I hugging while naked (no
nudity issues in this house) and kissing in front of him. We keep anything
else private, but aren't afraid of showing physical affection.
Kelly
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/8/03 8:23:53 PM, mina@... writes:
<< I would think the show that we watch which has the most sex is Buffy: the
Vampire Slayer. >>
It's on WPN. We get that, broadcast.
I asked Marty if he watches it. He says "Not that much."
"Someone's saying it has a lot of sex."
"It does."
"Aren't they supposed to be in high school?"
"At the beginning they were. It's more violence than sex."
(Marty's in the next room playing an old Nintendo game, original Nintendo.
Because we found a joy stick controller for $5 at a thrift store yesterday,
so he's playing ten year old games to see how different they are with a
different controller.)
Sandra
<< I would think the show that we watch which has the most sex is Buffy: the
Vampire Slayer. >>
It's on WPN. We get that, broadcast.
I asked Marty if he watches it. He says "Not that much."
"Someone's saying it has a lot of sex."
"It does."
"Aren't they supposed to be in high school?"
"At the beginning they were. It's more violence than sex."
(Marty's in the next room playing an old Nintendo game, original Nintendo.
Because we found a joy stick controller for $5 at a thrift store yesterday,
so he's playing ten year old games to see how different they are with a
different controller.)
Sandra
Mary
When Tara came home last night I asked her about the tv restriction thing. I just asked her if she ever remembers searching for or finding shows on cable that were sexually intense. (like that phrase?) She said she never went looking for them. When she was younger, they were icky. When she was older, she just didn't have the curiosity or taboo that her friends did. She knew they were there because she would come upon them every once in awhile, but never really went looking or sat and watched for long. She says she remembers watching older soap opera kind of shows. Not sure what she meant but it was implied sex and more talk than action. She liked those as she matured.
I must say I was a little surprised by the answer. I thought maybe she would tell me she would sneak at night to see something. Then again, what was to sneak if it was always there!!!!
Mary B
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I must say I was a little surprised by the answer. I thought maybe she would tell me she would sneak at night to see something. Then again, what was to sneak if it was always there!!!!
Mary B
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sorcha
>>>she just didn't have the curiosity or taboo that her friends did.<<<I think that's a good point. Shows like Howard Stern wouldn't be
tantalizing or whatever they're supposed to be if our culture had a
healthy view of sexuality. I've watched Howard Stern, and his whole
show is built around, "This is bad, this is dirty, look how sinful we
are." I want to tell him, "It's just the human body. Get over it."
I mean, can you imagine other animals wearing clothes, and then prancing
around taking them off to shock each other? It's silly.
It's as silly as a homeschooling book I read once that said we should
expose children to art, but to go through the art books ahead of time
and put black marker over the "dirty" parts. If we're going to censor
sexuality, let's not have flowers around. I mean, they put their sexual
parts all out in the open and give off an aroma to draw everyone to
them! It's scandalous! Have they no shame?!
Sorcha
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelly Lenhart
>"At the beginning they were. It's more violence than sex."How old is Marty? A fair bit of that violence IS sex. Or at least
foreplay.
>(Marty's in the next room playing an old Nintendo game, original Nintendo.Very cool. We traded our N64 a while back for Gameboy Advance games. James
>Because we found a joy stick controller for $5 at a thrift store yesterday,
>so he's playing ten year old games to see how different they are with a
>different controller.)
is rarely without his. I find it interesting that he bought an old Pokemon
Yellow and the new Saphire the other day and is alternating back and forth
between the two. The Yellow is ages old.
Kelly
Tia Leschke
> It's as silly as a homeschooling book I read once that said we shouldLOL!
> expose children to art, but to go through the art books ahead of time
> and put black marker over the "dirty" parts. If we're going to censor
> sexuality, let's not have flowers around. I mean, they put their sexual
> parts all out in the open and give off an aroma to draw everyone to
> them! It's scandalous! Have they no shame?!
Tia
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
saftety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/9/03 9:52:15 AM, mina@... writes:
<< How old is Marty? A fair bit of that violence IS sex. Or at least
foreplay. >>
Fourteen.
Sandra
<< How old is Marty? A fair bit of that violence IS sex. Or at least
foreplay. >>
Fourteen.
Sandra