Stephanie

My goodness! I have been trying all night to get caught up
and have not quite gotten there yet. But I wanted to jump
in really quick and give some of my impressions as an "older"
newbie (LOL! is there such a thing? I have been reading here
for a little over 8 months now I guess).

Basically when I first joined, I loved hearing the ideas, most
spoke to what I believed in my heart. But they seemed scary. So I
read. And listened to lots of discussions like these (which to
be honest with you I have learned lots from). I definitely got
defensive from time as things that I did were pointed out as
being controlling (restricting tv, sweets, etc). After all I
was one of the most relaxed/non-controlling moms I knew...I
was definitely not controlling! But then I realized that no
one was saying that I was a bad mom...just that by restricting
my kids in these ways I was being controlling. I became less
defensive and decided that I was comfortable with the few
restrictions that I had. I kept reading and more and more
I started getting *un*comfortable with these restrictions. So
I started lifting them. I still did not completely get it
and hit some bumps here and there (with me and my comfort level).
I posted a little but was definitely worried about the responses
I might get. Maybe because I knew that I did not get it
completely. I got some good advice and had a few "aha" moments
and went back to reading.

One thing that I found is that even if I did not have the
courage to post, I still learned from reading what everyone
else was posting. Usually there would be a discussion about
my concerns at sometime or another.

Now, I feel like I would have the courage to post and I think
that is because I have seen wonderful answers to posts that
are genuinely looking for help to get past their fears. And that
is where I am. :o) The key is to keep from getting defensive...
hard to do sometimes when you are talking about your own
parenting and kids. But I do believe that no one here makes it
personal. It is about the ideas, not the person.

Just my 2 cents...

Stephanie E.