[email protected]

In a message dated 3/29/03 9:50:27 AM, patti.schmidt2@... writes:

<< i feel like my life is under control and i am a better mother when there
is no tv in my house.>>

This isn't meant as critical or personal at all.

I think it's human nature to perform a sacrifice. People do it in way more
subtle fashion than killing their best lamb and leaving the meat on an altar.

If a mom can feel like a good mom by sacrificing something, then she can
perform that sacrifice and kick back, feeling successful.

For some families the sacrifice is paying for Catholic school instead of
letting their kids go to public school. They buy God's approval, and some
vague guarantee concerning morals and souls. (It doesn't seem to work in
practice, but they have receipts, and there their kids are in uniforms, as
proof and all.)

And for some families it's not so much a sacrifice as it is just a magical
spell, woven of bedtimes and rules and of saying "NO" as an incantation to
produce "good children."

Who's the childrearing advisor/expert someone told us about here who says
parents need to say no 3 out of 5 times? Vitamin N? That was CLEARLY a
magical formula for good parenting.

Sandra

zenmomma *

>>Who's the childrearing advisor/expert someone told us about here who says
>>parents need to say no 3 out of 5 times? Vitamin N? That was CLEARLY a
>>magical formula for good parenting.>>

I believe that was John Rosemond. Yuck. :-P~~~~~~~~~~

Life is good.
~Mary

"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the green
earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly alive."

~ Thich Nhat Hanh






_________________________________________________________________
Tired of spam? Get advanced junk mail protection with MSN 8.
http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail

Dawn Ackroyd

What?! Give me a break. I think it is good parenting to know what works
and what doesn't in your house. What good is it to feel like you're
sacrificing if the choice isn't good for the children. I don't think it
has anything to do with a mother's need to sacrifice for her children. I
think it's common sense. It isn't good for my daughter to eat milk. She
gets diarrhea. So I don't make her eat milk products. Is having to think
of alternate meal choices some superstition, sacrifice or magical
incantation? I don't think so. It's just a simple matter of not liking
to have to clean up diarrhea nor liking to see my daughter go through
the stomach pains.

Dawn

-----Original Message-----
From: SandraDodd@... [mailto:SandraDodd@...]
Sent: Saturday, March 29, 2003 5:19 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] superstition, sacrifices and magical
incantations in parenting



In a message dated 3/29/03 9:50:27 AM, patti.schmidt2@...
writes:

<< i feel like my life is under control and i am a better mother when
there
is no tv in my house.>>

This isn't meant as critical or personal at all.

I think it's human nature to perform a sacrifice. People do it in way
more
subtle fashion than killing their best lamb and leaving the meat on an
altar.

If a mom can feel like a good mom by sacrificing something, then she can

perform that sacrifice and kick back, feeling successful.

For some families the sacrifice is paying for Catholic school instead of

letting their kids go to public school. They buy God's approval, and
some
vague guarantee concerning morals and souls. (It doesn't seem to work
in
practice, but they have receipts, and there their kids are in uniforms,
as
proof and all.)

And for some families it's not so much a sacrifice as it is just a
magical
spell, woven of bedtimes and rules and of saying "NO" as an incantation
to
produce "good children."

Who's the childrearing advisor/expert someone told us about here who
says
parents need to say no 3 out of 5 times? Vitamin N? That was CLEARLY a

magical formula for good parenting.

Sandra



Yahoo! Groups Sponsor

ADVERTISEMENT

<http://rd.yahoo.com/M=246920.2960106.4328965.1728375/D=egroupweb/S=1705
081972:HM/A=1513704/R=0/*http://www.gotomypc.com/u/tr/yh/cpm/grp/300_02F
/g22lp?Target=mm/g22lp.tmpl>

<http://us.adserver.yahoo.com/l?M=246920.2960106.4328965.1728375/D=egrou
pmail/S=:HM/A=1513704/rand=216758457>

~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~

If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email
the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list
owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).

To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address
an email to:
[email protected]

Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service
<http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> .




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 3/31/03 11:00:22 AM, dackroyd@... writes:

<< I don't think it
has anything to do with a mother's need to sacrifice for her children. >>

That's not what I meant.

<<It isn't good for my daughter to eat milk. She
gets diarrhea. So I don't make her eat milk products. Is having to think
of alternate meal choices some superstition, sacrifice or magical
incantation? I don't think so.>>

If it really works, it's a scientific decision, and logical. If it DOESn't
do the prescribed thing, then it's just ju-ju making the mom feel better.

My mom had some dumb ju-ju. No milk with fish. She believed some people
were deathly allergic to the combination of fish and milk and it could kill a
person in an instant. I've never heard anyone else who ever heard of that,
but it made her feel like a good mom to forbid milk when fish was present.
Don't take a bath when you're on your period. That didn't make me any
friends.

Sandra

Pamela Sorooshian

My sister's in-law family believes that kids under 3 should not eat
watermelon. That it'll kill them. They also think watermelon with milk
is deadly.

-pam


On Monday, March 31, 2003, at 03:10 PM, SandraDodd@... wrote:

> My mom had some dumb ju-ju. No milk with fish.

kayb85

My mother in law is sure that you will get polio if you go swimming
before May 31. Dh was never, never allowed to go swimming before May
31, even if it was a very warm May.
Sheila


--- In [email protected], Pamela Sorooshian
<pamsoroosh@e...> wrote:
> My sister's in-law family believes that kids under 3 should not eat
> watermelon. That it'll kill them. They also think watermelon with
milk
> is deadly.
>
> -pam
>
>
> On Monday, March 31, 2003, at 03:10 PM, SandraDodd@a... wrote:
>
> > My mom had some dumb ju-ju. No milk with fish.

Andrea

At 06:10 PM 3/31/03 -0500, Sandra wrote:
>My mom had some dumb ju-ju. No milk with fish. She believed some people
>were deathly allergic to the combination of fish and milk and it could kill a
>person in an instant. I've never heard anyone else who ever heard of that,
>but it made her feel like a good mom to forbid milk when fish was present.

I've heard of that but it is only shellfish. Where I come from most people
will not eat milk products with shellfish. When there is a lobster boil you
have to watch what you bring because there are sure to be several people
horrified that you would eat milk with your lobster.

I guess they wouldn't go for my seafood lasagne :-)

Donna Andrea in Nova Scotia

Marjorie Kirk

Sandra wrote:
> My mom had some dumb ju-ju. No milk with fish. She believed some people
> were deathly allergic to the combination of fish and milk and it could
kill a
> person in an instant. I've never heard anyone else who ever heard of
that,
> but it made her feel like a good mom to forbid milk when fish was present.
> Don't take a bath when you're on your period. That didn't make me any
> friends.


I heard a chef suggest that you soak fish in milk for half an hour before
cooking it to take away some of the "fishy" smell. It works, but she may
have inadvertantly killed hundreds of people!

Marjorie