averyschmidt

> thought you tv-addicts would enjoy this. ;)

Thanks, Jana. My kids will get a kick out of this.
Although I must say, we have no tv "addicts" in our home.
:-)

Patti

[email protected]

In a message dated 3/29/03 2:20:17 AM, jana@... writes:

<< thought you tv-addicts would enjoy this. ;) >>

There aren't tv addicts here.

Sorcha

When people who don't watch TV use the term "addicts" to describe people
who do, it sounds like you think we're all sitting on the couch all day
scratching ourselves and watching Jerry Springer for hours on end while
children go hungry and dirty and dogs pee the floor in desperation
because we just can't pull ourselves away from the illicit blue glow.

Sorcha


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Deborah Lewis

***When people who don't watch TV use the term "addicts" to describe
people
who do, it sounds like you think we're all sitting on the couch all day
scratching ourselves and watching Jerry Springer for hours on end while
children go hungry and dirty and dogs pee the floor in desperation
because we just can't pull ourselves away from the illicit blue glow. ***

I think she was just being funny in light of all the TV discussions.
This poster expressed her dislike of TV, yes, but I think the "tv
addicts" post was meant to be fun poked as much at herself as anyone.
I may be wrong. (gasp!)

Deb L

Sorcha

>>>I think she was just being funny in light of all the TV
discussions.<<<

I was trying to add a bit of levity of my own, which might not have
sounded that way through email. But I wasn't trying to be bitchy.

Sorcha



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Jana Eagle

i was just joking about calling you guys "addicts". i was poking fun
at the seriousness with which people (mostly me) take the television
issue. i admire anyone who can have a tv and not use it addictively.

the reason i am here is beause i emulate you all to some degree. you
have to understand that up until last week, i have NEVER met anyone
who thought that unrestricting tv was okay who also was of an
"unschooling" bent. (that may be because i live in the boonies, it
may be because i am a new mother). you make me feel like one of those
hyper-controlling parents, who stops her kid from exploring the world
and learing things, when everyone on my block and my parents seems to
think that i have a real problem because i can't seem to tell my
daughter "what to do". the absurdity of this paradox makes me laugh.

i know now, at least, that my problem with what to do about television
has everything to do with me and how i was raised, and not that much
to do with my daughter. it doesn't make the issues any easier for me,
though. i don't know if this makes sense to you, but watching tv for
me is like using a drug. it is a way of escaping. of course it is
because of the way i was raised, but i feel like my life is under
control and i am a better mother when there is no tv in my house.
what you have so kindly pointed out (and not so kindly) is that this
might work when there is a baby in my arms but not for a 4 year old
who really wants to watch television.

but i did think the southpark create a character thing was pretty
funny. my friend sent me the link and he'd made a whole series of
portraits of people we know.

jana


Deborah Lewis <ddzimlew@...> writes:

> ***When people who don't watch TV use the term "addicts" to describe
> people
> who do, it sounds like you think we're all sitting on the couch all day
> scratching ourselves and watching Jerry Springer for hours on end while
> children go hungry and dirty and dogs pee the floor in desperation
> because we just can't pull ourselves away from the illicit blue glow. ***
>
> I think she was just being funny in light of all the TV discussions.
> This poster expressed her dislike of TV, yes, but I think the "tv
> addicts" post was meant to be fun poked as much at herself as anyone.
> I may be wrong. (gasp!)
>
> Deb L

Deborah Lewis

***But I wasn't trying to be bitchy. ***

I didn't think you were bitchy.
I thought maybe you misunderstood.
Probably it was me.

I'm getting outa here...

Deb L, off to count pelicans who arrived last night south of town...

averyschmidt

>you make me feel like one of those
> hyper-controlling parents, who stops her kid from exploring the
world
> and learing things, when everyone on my block and my parents seems
to
> think that i have a real problem because i can't seem to tell my
> daughter "what to do". the absurdity of this paradox makes me
laugh.

I know what you mean, Jana. I'm told by various people that I'm
overprotective of my kids (and don't want them to grow up) because
they don't go to school, but then I'm blasted by someone else
for "letting" my kids climb tall trees and go away to skateboard
camp.
You definitely can't please all people all of the time. :-)

> i know now, at least, that my problem with what to do about
television
> has everything to do with me and how i was raised, and not that
much
> to do with my daughter.

This seems like an extremely important insight! I think you'd be
doing your daughter a big favor if you continued to explore that
idea.

>i don't know if this makes sense to you, but watching tv for
> me is like using a drug. it is a way of escaping. of course it is
> because of the way i was raised, but i feel like my life is under
> control and i am a better mother when there is no tv in my house.

Do you think that mabye this is because of your bad feelings about
television in general that make you feel "guilty" for wanting to
watch it? Like it's not the tv that's causing the problem so much
as your conflicting feelings about it? (Meaning you feel suspicious
and fearful of tv as a medium but you still like to watch it.)
I'm the opposite of you in this respect. I'm not suspicious of tv
any longer and no longer feel any guilt when I watch, nor do I feel
morally superior when I choose not to watch. But at the same time,
since I've come to change my mind about tv, I don't watch anywhere
near as much as I did when I was having that inner battle. I think
it has to do with no longer coercing myself about tv along with my
children.
I'm *really* glad I let go of all those fears and doubts about it.
Those feelings gave tv way too much power in our lives.

Patti

Tia Leschke

i don't know if this makes sense to you, but watching tv for
> me is like using a drug. it is a way of escaping. of course it is
> because of the way i was raised, but i feel like my life is under
> control and i am a better mother when there is no tv in my house.
> what you have so kindly pointed out (and not so kindly) is that this
> might work when there is a baby in my arms but not for a 4 year old
> who really wants to watch television.

I think this is the difficulty my daughter has had with the TV issue. She
lived with her TV-watching father from the age of 4 to 15. TV *is* an
escape for him and became one for her too. There was nothing going on in
that house except TV. She resisted getting one for years because she felt
she would watch it too much herself, as well as for all the other
"protective of her children" reasons. (A year ago I would have laughed
hysterically if anyone said *I* was going to be encouraging my daughter to
get a TV.) <g>

One thing you might consider is putting the TV in a place that would be
uncomfortable *for you* rather than uncomfortable for the people in your
family who want to watch it. (That's if you're the one who put it in the
cold basement. I don't remember now.) Then you'd be less tempted yourself.
Tia


"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
saftety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...

zenmomma *

>>There aren't tv addicts here.>>

Nope. But we are just cracking up over the characters we are creating. <g>
Thanks Jana.

Life is good.
~Mary

"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the green
earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly alive."

~ Thich Nhat Hanh


_________________________________________________________________
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Stephanie Elms

> the reason i am here is beause i emulate you all to some degree. you
> have to understand that up until last week, i have NEVER met anyone
> who thought that unrestricting tv was okay who also was of an
> "unschooling" bent. (that may be because i live in the boonies, it
> may be because i am a new mother). you make me feel like one of those
> hyper-controlling parents, who stops her kid from exploring the world
> and learing things, when everyone on my block and my parents seems to
> think that i have a real problem because i can't seem to tell my
> daughter "what to do". the absurdity of this paradox makes me laugh.

Welcome to the club! I too have had to wrap my mind around the fact that I was
being very controlling when it came to tv and food...something that I did not
really see before coming here. Most of my friends think that I am too "easy"
on the boys and not controlling enough. And here were a bunch of folks that really
made me look at the few areas in which I was controlling...very eye opening.

But several months into it and I have to say that I am very glad to have had this
pointed out to me. It has changed the way that I interact with my boys for the better.

Keep reading and thinking. You will be amazed where it takes you...

Stephanie E.

Angela

I was never suspicious of TV, but I definitely used to feel guilty about
watching it. I felt like I was wasting my time. (Just ask my mom, TV is
a waste of time.) And I felt even more guilty letting my children watch
it. Thanks to this list, I was totally able to let that go. We enjoy
TV when we watch it now. My kids have free reign to watch how much TV
they would like, but more often than not, the TV is off. We just have
better things to do most of the time. The times we really enjoy it are
in the late afternoon or evening on days when we are tired.

I don't regulate a lot in my children's lives anymore, but TV was one of
the last things I was able to let go of. I am so happy that I did. It
is so nice to not be the TV police and to have the children watch only
what they really want to watch, not just watch because they are given an
hour per day. When they were given an hour per day, the never missed
it. Now we go days without watching TV because we are too busy having
fun TV doesn't have a hold on us.

Angela in Maine

Patti wrote: I'm not suspicious of tv
any longer and no longer feel any guilt when I watch, nor do I feel
morally superior when I choose not to watch.
Patti


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