Bikeriding
[email protected]
It has happened again. My son has again humbled me with his ability to do
what he needs to do. Two years ago we bought him a new mountain bike. He is
seven years old now, and only 2 inches short of 5 feet tall, about 150 pds.
No small fry! He was terrified of this bike when we got it, cried, fell, and
I got mad at him for being scared, tried to bully him into riding it, and
then we put it away and got him a large wheeled scooter for our rural roads.
Last year we dragged the bike out again, and he cried again and was scared,
and I got mad, tried bullying again, then we put it away again.
Yesterday, Tommy wanted to try his bike again. I groaned inwardly, but agreed
to help.
We took out the bike. Much crying and screaming, he said he was so scared,
but really wanted to try it . He screamed, bellowed, and hollered. Big kid,
big voice!!!
I simply listened, said I understood how conflicted he must be, said he
didn't have to . The crying continued. I waited, then quietly said I
understood, but would he please either get on or put it away, as the yelling
was getting to be a bit much!
Tommy stopped yelling, got on the bike, and rode it!! He rode it and rode it
and rode it some more. He then informed me he would sleep better because he
would not dream that he would never ride a bike anymore.
Everything that I despair of him doing he does when HE is ready. I will try
to never push him again. I hope I don't go to hell for all the mistakes I
have made with this child. I hope he speaks to me when he is older.
I felt the need to share this story . It simply amazes me over and over when
this happens.
Nancy in BC
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
what he needs to do. Two years ago we bought him a new mountain bike. He is
seven years old now, and only 2 inches short of 5 feet tall, about 150 pds.
No small fry! He was terrified of this bike when we got it, cried, fell, and
I got mad at him for being scared, tried to bully him into riding it, and
then we put it away and got him a large wheeled scooter for our rural roads.
Last year we dragged the bike out again, and he cried again and was scared,
and I got mad, tried bullying again, then we put it away again.
Yesterday, Tommy wanted to try his bike again. I groaned inwardly, but agreed
to help.
We took out the bike. Much crying and screaming, he said he was so scared,
but really wanted to try it . He screamed, bellowed, and hollered. Big kid,
big voice!!!
I simply listened, said I understood how conflicted he must be, said he
didn't have to . The crying continued. I waited, then quietly said I
understood, but would he please either get on or put it away, as the yelling
was getting to be a bit much!
Tommy stopped yelling, got on the bike, and rode it!! He rode it and rode it
and rode it some more. He then informed me he would sleep better because he
would not dream that he would never ride a bike anymore.
Everything that I despair of him doing he does when HE is ready. I will try
to never push him again. I hope I don't go to hell for all the mistakes I
have made with this child. I hope he speaks to me when he is older.
I felt the need to share this story . It simply amazes me over and over when
this happens.
Nancy in BC
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
zenmomma *
>>>Tommy stopped yelling, got on the bike, and rode it!! He rode it andYea Tommy! Conor had a similar experience in that we tried, got frustrated
>>>rode it
>and rode it some more.>>
and put it away for over a year. He also just got on and rode away when he
was ready. It *is* amazing to watch them soar when the time is right.
>>He then informed me he would sleep better because heWhat a dear, sweet boy. I think it's so cool that he could think that
>would not dream that he would never ride a bike anymore.>>
through and overcome a fear like that. Conor did that with the diving board
years ago. He forced himself to just try it because he said that otherwise
he would have just worried about trying it all summer.
Life is good.
~Mary
"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the green
earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly alive."
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
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Shyrley
LOWRIEK@... wrote:
As a home-educator it took me a long time and a difficult journey towards unschooling to realise that my kids would do stuff *when* they are ready and all coercian does is create bad feelings.
My youngest is nearly 8 but is convinced he'll never ride a bike. He's small (about 40 pounds) so is still using a little tiny bike with training wheels but he cries over the fact that other kids might
laugh at him cos he can't ride a 'proper' bike :-(
We have tried many times but he just can't get the balance. Even with the saddle so low his can put his feet flat on the ground. He sort of crouches on the saddle with all his weight to one side which
means he is unstable. It usually ends up with him kicking the bike and storming off home (red-head temper!)
I'm trying to persuade him to sit behind me on my bike so he can feel how a bike moves and balances but its a no-no at the moment.
The bike he has is a hand-me-down Toys R Us peice of rubbish (in my opinion....) so I'm tempted to buy him a nice bike from the bike shop. Hubby says no, kids that size don't need 'proper' bikes. I did
look round the other day but they had nothing small enough apart from those girly pink and white tricycles with ribbons on the handlebars (yuck).
Ho hum
Shyrley
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> It has happened again. My son has again humbled me with his ability to doThanks for sharing that Nancy.
> what he needs to do. Two years ago we bought him a new mountain bike. He is
> seven years old now, and only 2 inches short of 5 feet tall, about 150 pds.
> No small fry! He was terrified of this bike when we got it, cried, fell, and
> I got mad at him for being scared, tried to bully him into riding it, and
> then we put it away and got him a large wheeled scooter for our rural roads.
> Last year we dragged the bike out again, and he cried again and was scared,
> and I got mad, tried bullying again, then we put it away again.
> Yesterday, Tommy wanted to try his bike again. I groaned inwardly, but agreed
> to help.
> We took out the bike. Much crying and screaming, he said he was so scared,
> but really wanted to try it . He screamed, bellowed, and hollered. Big kid,
> big voice!!!
> I simply listened, said I understood how conflicted he must be, said he
> didn't have to . The crying continued. I waited, then quietly said I
> understood, but would he please either get on or put it away, as the yelling
> was getting to be a bit much!
> Tommy stopped yelling, got on the bike, and rode it!! He rode it and rode it
> and rode it some more. He then informed me he would sleep better because he
> would not dream that he would never ride a bike anymore.
> Everything that I despair of him doing he does when HE is ready. I will try
> to never push him again. I hope I don't go to hell for all the mistakes I
> have made with this child. I hope he speaks to me when he is older.
> I felt the need to share this story . It simply amazes me over and over when
> this happens.
> Nancy in BC
>
As a home-educator it took me a long time and a difficult journey towards unschooling to realise that my kids would do stuff *when* they are ready and all coercian does is create bad feelings.
My youngest is nearly 8 but is convinced he'll never ride a bike. He's small (about 40 pounds) so is still using a little tiny bike with training wheels but he cries over the fact that other kids might
laugh at him cos he can't ride a 'proper' bike :-(
We have tried many times but he just can't get the balance. Even with the saddle so low his can put his feet flat on the ground. He sort of crouches on the saddle with all his weight to one side which
means he is unstable. It usually ends up with him kicking the bike and storming off home (red-head temper!)
I'm trying to persuade him to sit behind me on my bike so he can feel how a bike moves and balances but its a no-no at the moment.
The bike he has is a hand-me-down Toys R Us peice of rubbish (in my opinion....) so I'm tempted to buy him a nice bike from the bike shop. Hubby says no, kids that size don't need 'proper' bikes. I did
look round the other day but they had nothing small enough apart from those girly pink and white tricycles with ribbons on the handlebars (yuck).
Ho hum
Shyrley
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/28/2003 10:52:22 AM Eastern Standard Time,
shyrley.williams@... writes:
They make Gary Fishers for little kids---The Mountain Cub with training
wheels. You can always find them at bike shops used 'cause the kids outgrow
them so quickly.
Duncan is on his second "proper" bike---and STILL doesn't ride it! <G>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
shyrley.williams@... writes:
> The bike he has is a hand-me-down Toys R Us peice of rubbish (in myShyrley,
> opinion....) so I'm tempted to buy him a nice bike from the bike shop.
> Hubby says no, kids that size don't need 'proper' bikes. I did
> look round the other day but they had nothing small enough apart from those
> girly pink and white tricycles with ribbons on the handlebars (yuck).
They make Gary Fishers for little kids---The Mountain Cub with training
wheels. You can always find them at bike shops used 'cause the kids outgrow
them so quickly.
Duncan is on his second "proper" bike---and STILL doesn't ride it! <G>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tia Leschke
> Tommy stopped yelling, got on the bike, and rode it!! He rode it and rodeit
> and rode it some more. He then informed me he would sleep better becausehe
> would not dream that he would never ride a bike anymore.try
> Everything that I despair of him doing he does when HE is ready. I will
> to never push him again. I hope I don't go to hell for all the mistakes Iwhen
> have made with this child. I hope he speaks to me when he is older.
> I felt the need to share this story . It simply amazes me over and over
> this happens.Great story, Nancy. And don't beat yourself up for not being perfect. None
of us are. Most people wouldn't even think you did anything wrong, so just
realizing it is a big step. And telling about it can maybe help someone
else tempted to push their kids.
Tia
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
saftety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...
[email protected]
In a message dated 28/03/2003 07:50:38 Pacific Standard Time,
shyrley.williams@... writes:
We found with the scooter that Tommy used, he had speed, was able to learn
balance in a way that was not threatening to him, and could try jumps etc.
The scooter has large rubber tires, so can go on thesame terrain as a
bicycle. Great confidence builder.
It is soooo hard to watch them struggle with this, or any other thing they
want or are afraid of. I just need to learn to stay out of it!!!!!!!Sounds
like you already knew this, great for your son. My son laughs at me when I
tell him that eventually I will learn to shut up and leave him alone.
Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
shyrley.williams@... writes:
> so I'm tempted to buy him a nice bike from the bike shopHullo Shyrley,
We found with the scooter that Tommy used, he had speed, was able to learn
balance in a way that was not threatening to him, and could try jumps etc.
The scooter has large rubber tires, so can go on thesame terrain as a
bicycle. Great confidence builder.
It is soooo hard to watch them struggle with this, or any other thing they
want or are afraid of. I just need to learn to stay out of it!!!!!!!Sounds
like you already knew this, great for your son. My son laughs at me when I
tell him that eventually I will learn to shut up and leave him alone.
Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
zenmomma *
>>>My youngest is nearly 8 but is convinced he'll never ride a bike. He'sDoes he have a scooter? You need some balance to ride those.
>>>small (about 40 pounds) so is still using a little tiny bike with
>>>training wheels but he cries over the fact that other kids might
>laugh at him cos he can't ride a 'proper' bike :-(
>We have tried many times but he just can't get the balance.>>
Conor took the training wheels off his bike and just sat there on it with
his feet touching the ground. He just sat there and bounced from left to
right off of each foot getting the feel of it. He spent some time just
getting from place to place by pushing off with both feet and not worrying
at all about the pedals. I think that's what helped him figure out his
balance point.
Life is good.
~Mary
"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the green
earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly alive."
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
_________________________________________________________________
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Lara Nabours
That's so interesting. My son (6) prefers his scooter to his bike.
When I asked him why, he said because it is easier! Doh! ;)
Lara Nabours
"How can the bird that is born for joy,
Sit in a cage and sing."- William Blake
-----Original Message-----
From: LOWRIEK@... [mailto:LOWRIEK@...]
Sent: Friday, March 28, 2003 8:14 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Bikeriding
In a message dated 28/03/2003 07:50:38 Pacific Standard Time,
shyrley.williams@... writes:
We found with the scooter that Tommy used, he had speed, was able to
learn
balance in a way that was not threatening to him, and could try
jumps etc.
The scooter has large rubber tires, so can go on thesame terrain as
a
bicycle. Great confidence builder.
It is soooo hard to watch them struggle with this, or any other
thing they
want or are afraid of. I just need to learn to stay out of
it!!!!!!!Sounds
like you already knew this, great for your son. My son laughs at me
when I
tell him that eventually I will learn to shut up and leave him
alone.
Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
When I asked him why, he said because it is easier! Doh! ;)
Lara Nabours
"How can the bird that is born for joy,
Sit in a cage and sing."- William Blake
-----Original Message-----
From: LOWRIEK@... [mailto:LOWRIEK@...]
Sent: Friday, March 28, 2003 8:14 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Bikeriding
In a message dated 28/03/2003 07:50:38 Pacific Standard Time,
shyrley.williams@... writes:
> so I'm tempted to buy him a nice bike from the bike shopHullo Shyrley,
We found with the scooter that Tommy used, he had speed, was able to
learn
balance in a way that was not threatening to him, and could try
jumps etc.
The scooter has large rubber tires, so can go on thesame terrain as
a
bicycle. Great confidence builder.
It is soooo hard to watch them struggle with this, or any other
thing they
want or are afraid of. I just need to learn to stay out of
it!!!!!!!Sounds
like you already knew this, great for your son. My son laughs at me
when I
tell him that eventually I will learn to shut up and leave him
alone.
Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line!
~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please
email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the
list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or
address an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
the_clevengers
--- In [email protected], Shyrley
<shyrley.williams@v...> wrote:
Do you have kids trailerbikes available? We bought one (Burley
Piccolo) when our son was 4 and too big to be in the trailer with his
sister anymore. So he pedaled behind me on that for a year or more
before trying his hand at two-wheeled balancing. I think it helps
give them a feel for it, and it's totally stable. Around here, you
can rent them in bike stores for the afternoon.
training wheels (he was almost 6). It's a terrific *real* bike, with
good hand brakes and 6 gears. I think it's great for kids to have a
real quality bike if they're going to be riding it a lot. He has
ridden up to 8 miles on it on his own steam, so I'm glad we invested
and got him a good one. Plus, I have to say I really believe in
supporting small bike stores and not the Toys R Us type places, if
possible.
What helped him best in learning to ride a 2-wheeler is that we
borrowed a bike without training wheels that a friend had outgrown
and just kept it in the garage. We told him he could ride it or sit
on it if he wanted to, but he still had his regular bike with the
training wheels on to ride whenever he wanted to. I think it really
helps to take the pressure off of removing the training wheels. Then
you either ride it, or you have to put the darned things back on.
This gave him all kinds of options.
At first, he wasn't too interested in that bike. But one day he just
got on it and glided a few inches. Then a few inches more. A few days
later he could glide across the entire garage. I casually mentioned
that we could take it to the park if he wanted to go further. He did.
We took it and he glided some more. Then I did the run along behind
him and hold onto the seat thing until he got the balance down, and
he took off riding that day. Fortunately, a friend of mine was at the
park and captured it all on video. That week we took him to pick out
his new bike at the bike store. The next week, he asked to ride it to
the toy store to buy some Legos, it was a 6 mile round trip. He made
it with no problem! I think riding the trailerbike for two years
ahead of time gave him a lot of stamina for longer rides.
In any case, I liked just having a bike around with no training
wheels without having to take the wheels off of the bike he was
already comfortable on. It definitely removes all the pressure and
leaves the ball in their court.
Blue Skies,
-Robin-
<shyrley.williams@v...> wrote:
> I'm trying to persuade him to sit behind me on my bike so he canfeel how a bike moves and balances but its a no-no at the moment.
Do you have kids trailerbikes available? We bought one (Burley
Piccolo) when our son was 4 and too big to be in the trailer with his
sister anymore. So he pedaled behind me on that for a year or more
before trying his hand at two-wheeled balancing. I think it helps
give them a feel for it, and it's totally stable. Around here, you
can rent them in bike stores for the afternoon.
> The bike he has is a hand-me-down Toys R Us peice of rubbish (in myWe got a nice Trek bike for our son after he learned to ride without
>opinion....) so I'm tempted to buy him a nice bike from the bike
>shop. Hubby says no, kids that size don't need 'proper' bikes
training wheels (he was almost 6). It's a terrific *real* bike, with
good hand brakes and 6 gears. I think it's great for kids to have a
real quality bike if they're going to be riding it a lot. He has
ridden up to 8 miles on it on his own steam, so I'm glad we invested
and got him a good one. Plus, I have to say I really believe in
supporting small bike stores and not the Toys R Us type places, if
possible.
What helped him best in learning to ride a 2-wheeler is that we
borrowed a bike without training wheels that a friend had outgrown
and just kept it in the garage. We told him he could ride it or sit
on it if he wanted to, but he still had his regular bike with the
training wheels on to ride whenever he wanted to. I think it really
helps to take the pressure off of removing the training wheels. Then
you either ride it, or you have to put the darned things back on.
This gave him all kinds of options.
At first, he wasn't too interested in that bike. But one day he just
got on it and glided a few inches. Then a few inches more. A few days
later he could glide across the entire garage. I casually mentioned
that we could take it to the park if he wanted to go further. He did.
We took it and he glided some more. Then I did the run along behind
him and hold onto the seat thing until he got the balance down, and
he took off riding that day. Fortunately, a friend of mine was at the
park and captured it all on video. That week we took him to pick out
his new bike at the bike store. The next week, he asked to ride it to
the toy store to buy some Legos, it was a 6 mile round trip. He made
it with no problem! I think riding the trailerbike for two years
ahead of time gave him a lot of stamina for longer rides.
In any case, I liked just having a bike around with no training
wheels without having to take the wheels off of the bike he was
already comfortable on. It definitely removes all the pressure and
leaves the ball in their court.
Blue Skies,
-Robin-
Angela
Do you have kids trailerbikes available?
We just got a trailer bike yesterday. What a blast!! The kids really
love it that they can ride with me and not worry about falling over and
I really love having someone on my rides with me without worrying about
them getting run over. My 8 yo is just getting her balance on a two
wheeled bike and it's been a long frustrating haul for both of us. She
has really wanted to be able to ride, but was really scared about
falling. Her feet can finally reach the ground and that has been really
helpful. Both my girls are tiny (38 and 40 lbs) and learning to ride
was even more difficult because the smallest bikes we could buy were
still to big. And, they are just not extremely physical kids. Anyway,
if you like to ride and your kids aren't too heavy, I really recommend a
trailerbike. Ours is an Adams, which I think was the original one.
Angela
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
We just got a trailer bike yesterday. What a blast!! The kids really
love it that they can ride with me and not worry about falling over and
I really love having someone on my rides with me without worrying about
them getting run over. My 8 yo is just getting her balance on a two
wheeled bike and it's been a long frustrating haul for both of us. She
has really wanted to be able to ride, but was really scared about
falling. Her feet can finally reach the ground and that has been really
helpful. Both my girls are tiny (38 and 40 lbs) and learning to ride
was even more difficult because the smallest bikes we could buy were
still to big. And, they are just not extremely physical kids. Anyway,
if you like to ride and your kids aren't too heavy, I really recommend a
trailerbike. Ours is an Adams, which I think was the original one.
Angela
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]