Brown

Hi Sandi


> <cut> everyone seemed fine. Our discussions over the
> years have shown that it was much more traumatic than I realized for them
> even though they adjusted okay.

Yes, already I have become faintly aware of this. Our 12yo who has wanted for
always to move to the country, started exhibiting strange behaviour, and it
emerged that although he loves living here, he was still going through a major
grieving for all that has been his life until now, and has been left behind. The
2 that weren't that keen on moving seem almost to be handling it better -
perhaps their low expectations enabled them to be pleasantly surprised!

> I had tried to keep them aware of all
> plans, choices, etc during the change, but they still felt they had no
> choice.

I do feel bad about this - children have so little choice really, in so many
areas of their lives. Even when we, as individual families, allow our children
choice, they soon become aware that other families don't work like that, and
that their choice is only theirs by virtue of our choice to allow it.

> I always found life in general to be a balancing act. Home birth,
> attachment parenting, homeschooling, all of these things that grow children
> so well, and have the potential to grow parents well, too, can also be
> draining if you don't find the balance that you need.

Yeah, and I've never been to good at balancing - I always did choose the swing
rather than the seesaw at the playground <g>

Carol