Bedtime Issues
jk_lenzmeier
I just recently joined this list and have up until now only been
lurking and learning. You have all been so insightful and
inspiring. I am also new to unschooling. We have 5 children. The
two oldest are in school dd14 and ds11. Our last three will be
unschooled ds5, ds3 and dd16mths. I have really begun to believe
that unschooling isn't just a method of homeschooling, but rather a
way of life. This brings me to my concern. We have always had a
specific bedtime for the kids. Lately, however, it is increasingly
more difficul to keep the 3yr old in bed. They go to bed between 9
and 9:30, but he is still up and running at 10:30 or sometimes
later. I try not to get frustrated with him, but it is not always
easy. I let them get up in the morning on their own. What are your
thoughts on letting kids go to bed when they want to when they are
young children? Sorry if this seems really basic to most of you, but
like I said we are really new to unschooling. I'm still trying to
convince dh that unschooling is not just about education.
Thank you
Jill
lurking and learning. You have all been so insightful and
inspiring. I am also new to unschooling. We have 5 children. The
two oldest are in school dd14 and ds11. Our last three will be
unschooled ds5, ds3 and dd16mths. I have really begun to believe
that unschooling isn't just a method of homeschooling, but rather a
way of life. This brings me to my concern. We have always had a
specific bedtime for the kids. Lately, however, it is increasingly
more difficul to keep the 3yr old in bed. They go to bed between 9
and 9:30, but he is still up and running at 10:30 or sometimes
later. I try not to get frustrated with him, but it is not always
easy. I let them get up in the morning on their own. What are your
thoughts on letting kids go to bed when they want to when they are
young children? Sorry if this seems really basic to most of you, but
like I said we are really new to unschooling. I'm still trying to
convince dh that unschooling is not just about education.
Thank you
Jill
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/12/03 8:55:08 AM, jk_lenzmeier@... writes:
<< I let them get up in the morning on their own. What are your
thoughts on letting kids go to bed when they want to when they are
young children? Sorry if this seems really basic to most of you, but
like I said we are really new to unschooling. I'm still trying to
convince dh that unschooling is not just about education. >>
I would tell the husband "It's all about learning."
And one thing to learn is that it's easier to sleep when one is sleepy, and
if one's awake, trying to force sleep or bed only serves to frustrate, to
create aversion to sleep/bed, or to cause resentment. That's all learning,
but it's not the best of learning.
Can the youngest go to sleep to a long, peaceful video? Tototro, or Winnie
the Pooh or something? If you can set the VCR to turn off afterward, problem
solved.
I had kids go to sleep to movies when they weren't tired enough to sleep,
when they were young. Now they stay up doing whatever quiet things they want.
They always go to bed, every night. They get to choose when. But it helps
that we have a bigger house than we used to, too.
Sandra
<< I let them get up in the morning on their own. What are your
thoughts on letting kids go to bed when they want to when they are
young children? Sorry if this seems really basic to most of you, but
like I said we are really new to unschooling. I'm still trying to
convince dh that unschooling is not just about education. >>
I would tell the husband "It's all about learning."
And one thing to learn is that it's easier to sleep when one is sleepy, and
if one's awake, trying to force sleep or bed only serves to frustrate, to
create aversion to sleep/bed, or to cause resentment. That's all learning,
but it's not the best of learning.
Can the youngest go to sleep to a long, peaceful video? Tototro, or Winnie
the Pooh or something? If you can set the VCR to turn off afterward, problem
solved.
I had kids go to sleep to movies when they weren't tired enough to sleep,
when they were young. Now they stay up doing whatever quiet things they want.
They always go to bed, every night. They get to choose when. But it helps
that we have a bigger house than we used to, too.
Sandra
Odrade
[What are your thoughts on letting kids go to bed when
they want to when they are young children?]
My DS will be 4 in May and my DD just turned 2 last
week. We don't have -- and never did -- have a set
"bed time". Some days we go to bed close to 10 pm,
but it's pretty normal in our house to go to bed well
after midnight. We sleep until 8 or 9 most mornings.
We see no reason to have a bed time -- we go to bed
when we're tired. HTH :)
-Tracy-
Mama to Aydn and Fiona
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they want to when they are young children?]
My DS will be 4 in May and my DD just turned 2 last
week. We don't have -- and never did -- have a set
"bed time". Some days we go to bed close to 10 pm,
but it's pretty normal in our house to go to bed well
after midnight. We sleep until 8 or 9 most mornings.
We see no reason to have a bed time -- we go to bed
when we're tired. HTH :)
-Tracy-
Mama to Aydn and Fiona
__________________________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Web Hosting - establish your business online
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Backstrom kelli
I personally let my ten year old set her own timeline for bed but my two year old needs more direction in this area. She gets really overtired if not asleep by 7:30. She has forsaken her nap time now, which works fine but when it is bedtime, it needs to be bedtime for her. She has reacted well to my guidance responding to our nightime rituals of bathtime and booktime. My ten year old just loves to read her books at nightime and get some alone time with me and my dh. Kelli
Odrade <odrade7@...> wrote:[What are your thoughts on letting kids go to bed when
they want to when they are young children?]
My DS will be 4 in May and my DD just turned 2 last
week. We don't have -- and never did -- have a set
"bed time". Some days we go to bed close to 10 pm,
but it's pretty normal in our house to go to bed well
after midnight. We sleep until 8 or 9 most mornings.
We see no reason to have a bed time -- we go to bed
when we're tired. HTH :)
-Tracy-
Mama to Aydn and Fiona
__________________________________________________
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Yahoo! Web Hosting - establish your business online
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Odrade <odrade7@...> wrote:[What are your thoughts on letting kids go to bed when
they want to when they are young children?]
My DS will be 4 in May and my DD just turned 2 last
week. We don't have -- and never did -- have a set
"bed time". Some days we go to bed close to 10 pm,
but it's pretty normal in our house to go to bed well
after midnight. We sleep until 8 or 9 most mornings.
We see no reason to have a bed time -- we go to bed
when we're tired. HTH :)
-Tracy-
Mama to Aydn and Fiona
__________________________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Web Hosting - establish your business online
http://webhosting.yahoo.com
Yahoo! Groups SponsorADVERTISEMENT
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
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jk_lenzmeier
--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
out pretty well. Once the video was playing he never left his bed.
That hasn't happened in a long time. I guess I'm finding that I'm a
little more controlling than I thought I was. I look forward to
letting go of those controlling habits.
Jill
> Can the youngest go to sleep to a long, peaceful video? Tototro,or Winnie
> the Pooh or something? If you can set the VCR to turn offafterward, problem
> solved.Thank you for the suggestion. We tried this last night and it worked
out pretty well. Once the video was playing he never left his bed.
That hasn't happened in a long time. I guess I'm finding that I'm a
little more controlling than I thought I was. I look forward to
letting go of those controlling habits.
Jill
jk_lenzmeier
--- In [email protected], Odrade <odrade7@y...>
wrote:
figure out.
Jill
wrote:
> > We see no reason to have a bed time -- we go to bedexpect my kids to. Sometimes the simple things are the hardest to
> when we're tired. HTH :)
>
>Exactly! I don't go to bed when I'm not tired so why should I
figure out.
Jill
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do you Yahoo!?
> Yahoo! Web Hosting - establish your business online
> http://webhosting.yahoo.com
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/13/03 8:15:50 AM, jk_lenzmeier@... writes:
<< Can the youngest go to sleep to a long, peaceful video? >>
. . . .
<<Thank you for the suggestion. We tried this last night and it worked
out pretty well. Once the video was playing he never left his bed.
That hasn't happened in a long time. >>
When I'm not sleepy, a movie or a book will get me quiet enough to be sleepy,
or if I'm REALLY not sleepy, will provide enough stimulation to keep me from
waking other people up.
It has seemed to be the same with my kids. SOME stimulation will keep them
content to be alone (or the only one awake).
Holly goes through phases. Her room has TV & VCR with a remote control, CD &
tape players close enough to turn them off, she has access to a dog and three
cats who would love to sleep with her, and lately her preference is to close
her door, NO animals, and play gameboy until she's sleepy and then turn the
light off and go to sleep in the quiet.
What is most important to me is that she has those choices, and so has
herself chosen to go to sleep in a dark room without input, at the time of
her choice.
Sandra
<< Can the youngest go to sleep to a long, peaceful video? >>
. . . .
<<Thank you for the suggestion. We tried this last night and it worked
out pretty well. Once the video was playing he never left his bed.
That hasn't happened in a long time. >>
When I'm not sleepy, a movie or a book will get me quiet enough to be sleepy,
or if I'm REALLY not sleepy, will provide enough stimulation to keep me from
waking other people up.
It has seemed to be the same with my kids. SOME stimulation will keep them
content to be alone (or the only one awake).
Holly goes through phases. Her room has TV & VCR with a remote control, CD &
tape players close enough to turn them off, she has access to a dog and three
cats who would love to sleep with her, and lately her preference is to close
her door, NO animals, and play gameboy until she's sleepy and then turn the
light off and go to sleep in the quiet.
What is most important to me is that she has those choices, and so has
herself chosen to go to sleep in a dark room without input, at the time of
her choice.
Sandra
Manon (Hotmail)
Hello Jill,
My ds is 2 1/2 and we have never had a specific bedtime. He is usually asleep around 11. After 9, I keep all the lights in the house except a dim one so he starts to settle down. We continue playing, reading books until he gets tired. Then, he chooses a film and I breastfeed him while we watch the film. He falls asleep and I transfer him to our bed. If it is after 12, I close all the lights but leave his film on. Then he falls asleep faster. For him, lightning seems to be very important. He doesn't settle down unless it is dark. I understand your frustration. It has been very hard for me to let go of the idea that he should be in bed by a certain time. Also, if I start to think of all the things I could do if he were in bed, I get frustrated. I try to go with the flow and enjoy this time with him. We have very special moments together that we wouldn't be having if he had to be in bed by 9.
Hope this helps,
Manon
My ds is 2 1/2 and we have never had a specific bedtime. He is usually asleep around 11. After 9, I keep all the lights in the house except a dim one so he starts to settle down. We continue playing, reading books until he gets tired. Then, he chooses a film and I breastfeed him while we watch the film. He falls asleep and I transfer him to our bed. If it is after 12, I close all the lights but leave his film on. Then he falls asleep faster. For him, lightning seems to be very important. He doesn't settle down unless it is dark. I understand your frustration. It has been very hard for me to let go of the idea that he should be in bed by a certain time. Also, if I start to think of all the things I could do if he were in bed, I get frustrated. I try to go with the flow and enjoy this time with him. We have very special moments together that we wouldn't be having if he had to be in bed by 9.
Hope this helps,
Manon
----- Original Message -----
From: jk_lenzmeier
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, March 12, 2003 10:53 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Bedtime Issues
I just recently joined this list and have up until now only been
lurking and learning. You have all been so insightful and
inspiring. I am also new to unschooling. We have 5 children. The
two oldest are in school dd14 and ds11. Our last three will be
unschooled ds5, ds3 and dd16mths. I have really begun to believe
that unschooling isn't just a method of homeschooling, but rather a
way of life. This brings me to my concern. We have always had a
specific bedtime for the kids. Lately, however, it is increasingly
more difficul to keep the 3yr old in bed. They go to bed between 9
and 9:30, but he is still up and running at 10:30 or sometimes
later. I try not to get frustrated with him, but it is not always
easy. I let them get up in the morning on their own. What are your
thoughts on letting kids go to bed when they want to when they are
young children? Sorry if this seems really basic to most of you, but
like I said we are really new to unschooling. I'm still trying to
convince dh that unschooling is not just about education.
Thank you
Jill
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jk_lenzmeier
--- In [email protected], "Manon \(Hotmail\)"
<manon_brisson@h...> wrote:
he starts to settle down."
I really like this idea. I have noticed that he settles a lot easier
when the lights are low and the TV in the living room isn't blaring.
"I understand your frustration. It has been very hard for me to
let go of the idea that he should be in bed by a certain time. Also,
if I start to think of all the things I could do if he were in bed, I
get frustrated."
I guess that time after 9:00 was the only time I felt I could get
anything done also, but I spend more time running him back into his
room that I don't get anything done anyway. Last night I put in a
movie and stayed to watch for a little while. By the time I left he
was snuggled up and looking mighty tired. Worked like a charm. Lets
see what tonight brings.
Jill
<manon_brisson@h...> wrote:
>"After 9, I keep all the lights in the house except a dim one so
he starts to settle down."
I really like this idea. I have noticed that he settles a lot easier
when the lights are low and the TV in the living room isn't blaring.
"I understand your frustration. It has been very hard for me to
let go of the idea that he should be in bed by a certain time. Also,
if I start to think of all the things I could do if he were in bed, I
get frustrated."
I guess that time after 9:00 was the only time I felt I could get
anything done also, but I spend more time running him back into his
room that I don't get anything done anyway. Last night I put in a
movie and stayed to watch for a little while. By the time I left he
was snuggled up and looking mighty tired. Worked like a charm. Lets
see what tonight brings.
Jill