Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Calling all Buddhists AND Question on Right Speech
Marjorie Kirk
Sylvia Boorstein's _It's Easier Than You Think-The Buddhist way to
Happiness_ is one of all my all time favorites. Also, _Wherever You Go,
There You Are_ by Jon Kabat-Zinn.
I have a question about something I read about right speech, but
unfortunately I don't remember who wrote it. Hopefully someone might be
familiar with it. I read an article that said before speaking you should
ask yourself four questions about what you are going to say. "Is it true?
Is it kind? Is it neccessary?" But I can't remember the fourth question!
Anyone?
Marjorie
Happiness_ is one of all my all time favorites. Also, _Wherever You Go,
There You Are_ by Jon Kabat-Zinn.
I have a question about something I read about right speech, but
unfortunately I don't remember who wrote it. Hopefully someone might be
familiar with it. I read an article that said before speaking you should
ask yourself four questions about what you are going to say. "Is it true?
Is it kind? Is it neccessary?" But I can't remember the fourth question!
Anyone?
Marjorie
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/11/03 6:41:10 PM, mkirk@... writes:
<< "Is it true?
Is it kind? Is it neccessary?" But I can't remember the fourth question! >>
Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?
Can you remember it?
No, that's not right...
I can't remember and went looking and didn't find it, but found some good
stories at
http://www.cheraglibrary.org/buddhist/kornfield/jkspeech.htm:
There's a story of a Sufi master, a healer. He goes into this household
one day where there's a sick child, and there are people gathered around.
He goes over and he passes his hand over the child and he says some sacred
words, a kind of prayer, and he says, "Now you will be healed." The parents
are very grateful, but a really disbelieving and somewhat aggressive man
says, "How can you heal a child just by saying some words, all this healing
and this spiritual junk"? The master turns to him and looks him in the eye
and says, "What do you know of this? You are an absolute fool. You know
nothing!" He says this in front of all the other people. The guy becomes
enraged and he turns red and he is shaking with anger. And the master says,
"Wait a minute, sir. If a word of mine has the power to make you turn red
and shake with anger, why should not a word also have the power to heal?"
There are two principles to Right Speech, to this foundation of speech as
the first aspect of uprightness of heart. The first is that our words be
true. Truth is so sweet. If you know anyone who really speaks honestly
and truthfully, admittedly sometimes they're a pain in the ass, but mostly
one's sense of that person is a delight, that here's somebody I can go and
speak to or listen to and hear that which is true. It's just wonderful.
There's a story of Mullah Nasrudin, the old wise man and fool, this kind of
strange character. He puts up his booth. It's sort of like Lucy in
"Peanuts." It says, "Psychiatric Assistance" or "Psychological Counseling
-- two questions," or something like that, only instead of five cents it's
five old dinars. It's really a lot of money. People think, "Gosh, he must
be very, very good to charge so much money." So one person goes up to him,
and takes out five old dinars and puts it on the counter. He says to
Nasrudin, "Isn't that an awful lot to charge for just two questions?"
Nasrudin looks back and says, "Yes, it is; and what's your second question?"
Two principles: First, that the words are true for Right Speech; and
second, that they're kind or helpful, because it's possible to say what's
true and not have it be helpful at all, what one might call "brutal
honesty". "I'll tell you just what I think, whether it's helpful or not."
The second principle is that speech be helpful, not only that it be true, but
also that it speak in some way that's compassionate or kind or useful to
someone.
<< "Is it true?
Is it kind? Is it neccessary?" But I can't remember the fourth question! >>
Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?
Can you remember it?
No, that's not right...
I can't remember and went looking and didn't find it, but found some good
stories at
http://www.cheraglibrary.org/buddhist/kornfield/jkspeech.htm:
There's a story of a Sufi master, a healer. He goes into this household
one day where there's a sick child, and there are people gathered around.
He goes over and he passes his hand over the child and he says some sacred
words, a kind of prayer, and he says, "Now you will be healed." The parents
are very grateful, but a really disbelieving and somewhat aggressive man
says, "How can you heal a child just by saying some words, all this healing
and this spiritual junk"? The master turns to him and looks him in the eye
and says, "What do you know of this? You are an absolute fool. You know
nothing!" He says this in front of all the other people. The guy becomes
enraged and he turns red and he is shaking with anger. And the master says,
"Wait a minute, sir. If a word of mine has the power to make you turn red
and shake with anger, why should not a word also have the power to heal?"
There are two principles to Right Speech, to this foundation of speech as
the first aspect of uprightness of heart. The first is that our words be
true. Truth is so sweet. If you know anyone who really speaks honestly
and truthfully, admittedly sometimes they're a pain in the ass, but mostly
one's sense of that person is a delight, that here's somebody I can go and
speak to or listen to and hear that which is true. It's just wonderful.
There's a story of Mullah Nasrudin, the old wise man and fool, this kind of
strange character. He puts up his booth. It's sort of like Lucy in
"Peanuts." It says, "Psychiatric Assistance" or "Psychological Counseling
-- two questions," or something like that, only instead of five cents it's
five old dinars. It's really a lot of money. People think, "Gosh, he must
be very, very good to charge so much money." So one person goes up to him,
and takes out five old dinars and puts it on the counter. He says to
Nasrudin, "Isn't that an awful lot to charge for just two questions?"
Nasrudin looks back and says, "Yes, it is; and what's your second question?"
Two principles: First, that the words are true for Right Speech; and
second, that they're kind or helpful, because it's possible to say what's
true and not have it be helpful at all, what one might call "brutal
honesty". "I'll tell you just what I think, whether it's helpful or not."
The second principle is that speech be helpful, not only that it be true, but
also that it speak in some way that's compassionate or kind or useful to
someone.
[email protected]
This might remind you. It's not the same "set."
" The Buddha says we should start by refraining from telling lies. After
that, we should speak the truth, speak gently and politely and speak at the
right time. He says:
"Giving up false speech he becomes a speaker of truth, reliable, trustworthy,
dependable, he does not deceive the world. Giving up malicious speech he does
not repeat there what he has heard here no does he repeat here what he has
heard there in order to cause variance between people. He reconciles those
who are divided and brings closer together those who are already friends.
Harmony is his joy, harmony is his delight, harmony is his love; it is the
motive of his speech. Giving up harsh speech his speech is blameless,
pleasing to the ear, agreeable, going to the heart, urbane, liked by most.
Giving up idle chatter he speaks at the right time, what is correct, to the
point, about Dhamma and about discipline. He speaks words worth being
treasured up, seasonable, reasonable, well defined and to the point."
http://web.singnet.com.sg/~alankhoo/FivePreceptsQA.htm
" The Buddha says we should start by refraining from telling lies. After
that, we should speak the truth, speak gently and politely and speak at the
right time. He says:
"Giving up false speech he becomes a speaker of truth, reliable, trustworthy,
dependable, he does not deceive the world. Giving up malicious speech he does
not repeat there what he has heard here no does he repeat here what he has
heard there in order to cause variance between people. He reconciles those
who are divided and brings closer together those who are already friends.
Harmony is his joy, harmony is his delight, harmony is his love; it is the
motive of his speech. Giving up harsh speech his speech is blameless,
pleasing to the ear, agreeable, going to the heart, urbane, liked by most.
Giving up idle chatter he speaks at the right time, what is correct, to the
point, about Dhamma and about discipline. He speaks words worth being
treasured up, seasonable, reasonable, well defined and to the point."
http://web.singnet.com.sg/~alankhoo/FivePreceptsQA.htm