wrongfully accused
cinsurf
This is something that is happening to my family that I have never
seen discussed on these boards.
Our neighbors have lived across the street from us for 9 years. Our
kids have grown up together and we have taken vacations together etc.
Suddenly, since our son turned 13, they have decided that he is a
teenager, so their kids are no longer able to spend the night at our
house as there is no telling what our son might do to them. The
father in this family has memories of doing some things at this age
like trying to sneak and see his sister naked, pressuring his sisters
friends to "do stuff", etc. and thinks our son will do things like
that too. My husband says it never occurred to him to do anything
like that when he was 13, or ever for that matter, and I have 2
brothers that say they never did anything like that either. My son is
a very kind, quiet, decent guy, and we are deeply offended that
anyone would think him capable of such a thing. He feels condemned by
these people, and we have to see them everyday, right in front of us.
It is making me feel so ill that they look at my child with such
contempt, just because he became a teenager. This may have something
to do with the fact that they have gone extreme 'Christian Right' in
the last few years, and now think that they are above others in the
neighborhood. It doesn't concern me what their beliefs are, and we
have looked on with great amusement at their hipocracy, and the
things they justify in the name of G_ _. I just never thought that it
would come to haunt my family. The problem is, as much as I would
like to write them off, our children still want to be friends. Their
children want to be at our house all the time. I fear them. Who knows
what ridiculous assertion they will apply to my family next? I can't
even look at them (the parents)without becoming angry. I am losing
sleep over this. Any suggestions on how to not let these people
poison our life? Cindi
seen discussed on these boards.
Our neighbors have lived across the street from us for 9 years. Our
kids have grown up together and we have taken vacations together etc.
Suddenly, since our son turned 13, they have decided that he is a
teenager, so their kids are no longer able to spend the night at our
house as there is no telling what our son might do to them. The
father in this family has memories of doing some things at this age
like trying to sneak and see his sister naked, pressuring his sisters
friends to "do stuff", etc. and thinks our son will do things like
that too. My husband says it never occurred to him to do anything
like that when he was 13, or ever for that matter, and I have 2
brothers that say they never did anything like that either. My son is
a very kind, quiet, decent guy, and we are deeply offended that
anyone would think him capable of such a thing. He feels condemned by
these people, and we have to see them everyday, right in front of us.
It is making me feel so ill that they look at my child with such
contempt, just because he became a teenager. This may have something
to do with the fact that they have gone extreme 'Christian Right' in
the last few years, and now think that they are above others in the
neighborhood. It doesn't concern me what their beliefs are, and we
have looked on with great amusement at their hipocracy, and the
things they justify in the name of G_ _. I just never thought that it
would come to haunt my family. The problem is, as much as I would
like to write them off, our children still want to be friends. Their
children want to be at our house all the time. I fear them. Who knows
what ridiculous assertion they will apply to my family next? I can't
even look at them (the parents)without becoming angry. I am losing
sleep over this. Any suggestions on how to not let these people
poison our life? Cindi
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/11/03 9:08:10 AM, cinsurf@... writes:
<< This may have something to do with the fact that they have gone extreme
'Christian Right' in
the last few years, and now think that they are above others in the
neighborhood. >>
That all by itself would do it.
They have to answer to the people at church first, and then to God. <g>
-=-Their
children want to be at our house all the time. I fear them. Who knows
what ridiculous assertion they will apply to my family next?-=-
Hey, it's your house. They don't have to let their kids spend the night, but
they can't change your rules while the kids ARE there.
-=-I can't
even look at them (the parents)without becoming angry. I am losing
sleep over this. -=-
Let it go. Lots of people fear adolescent boys. Often it's personal trauma
(like your neighbor's guilt). I worked with another English teacher named
Miss Pfiester. "Feester." I kid you not. Her name was Esther Pfiester.
She had been a teacher when I was a kid too.
We were teaching 9th grade English, both of us. If a boy hit puberty and got
tall and hairy, she wanted him OUT of her room. I kinda liked them at that
gawky age, personally, and had no fear. I used to trade her. If someone
really didn't like my class and would rather go to hers where they just did
what the book said, copy this exercise with the proper verb form, circle the
nouns, stuff like that, they'd go. I'd trade her a girl or a still-childlike
boy for her bigger hairier boys. And often the boy was happy to be in my
more busy, less predictable classroom because part of his problem was needing
to move and twitch and look out the window. No problem for me.
Boys ideally DO get bigger and they become men. Some people will fear that.
<<Any suggestions on how to not let these people
poison our life? >>
Philosophy.
Use them as an example of how not to be. Smile, look at the sky, breathe,
and be glad your kids are cool and that the neighbor kids like them and your
house.
Sandra
<< This may have something to do with the fact that they have gone extreme
'Christian Right' in
the last few years, and now think that they are above others in the
neighborhood. >>
That all by itself would do it.
They have to answer to the people at church first, and then to God. <g>
-=-Their
children want to be at our house all the time. I fear them. Who knows
what ridiculous assertion they will apply to my family next?-=-
Hey, it's your house. They don't have to let their kids spend the night, but
they can't change your rules while the kids ARE there.
-=-I can't
even look at them (the parents)without becoming angry. I am losing
sleep over this. -=-
Let it go. Lots of people fear adolescent boys. Often it's personal trauma
(like your neighbor's guilt). I worked with another English teacher named
Miss Pfiester. "Feester." I kid you not. Her name was Esther Pfiester.
She had been a teacher when I was a kid too.
We were teaching 9th grade English, both of us. If a boy hit puberty and got
tall and hairy, she wanted him OUT of her room. I kinda liked them at that
gawky age, personally, and had no fear. I used to trade her. If someone
really didn't like my class and would rather go to hers where they just did
what the book said, copy this exercise with the proper verb form, circle the
nouns, stuff like that, they'd go. I'd trade her a girl or a still-childlike
boy for her bigger hairier boys. And often the boy was happy to be in my
more busy, less predictable classroom because part of his problem was needing
to move and twitch and look out the window. No problem for me.
Boys ideally DO get bigger and they become men. Some people will fear that.
<<Any suggestions on how to not let these people
poison our life? >>
Philosophy.
Use them as an example of how not to be. Smile, look at the sky, breathe,
and be glad your kids are cool and that the neighbor kids like them and your
house.
Sandra
Tia Leschke
> <<Any suggestions on how to not let these peopleyour
> poison our life? >>
>
> Philosophy.
> Use them as an example of how not to be. Smile, look at the sky, breathe,
> and be glad your kids are cool and that the neighbor kids like them and
> house.Might also want to make sure your son is never alone with any of them. Bad
>
enough to be just generally accused, but they could take it farther than
that.
Tia
evelyns92
--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
We have "people" like this in our neighborhood also. Thanks to
the heavily wooded area we live in, we do not have to look at them,
only hear them once in awhile. We have had run-ins with them over
their dogs coming over and trying to get in to bother our animals.
Our property is all fenced and cross-fenced so our animals are all
contained and safe. Even our four dogs stay in behind fences and
gates but do get to run around our property only. Their dogs run
loose and if you even dare to say anything to them about it (we have)
they go nuts and act and use very "un-Christian" language, even in
front of their kids . . . what an example to them. HA! "Haughty
Toads" (a Balinese book) they certainly are.
some of the things we can hear them say through the trees! Sara
>extreme
> In a message dated 3/11/03 9:08:10 AM, cinsurf@y... writes:
>
> << This may have something to do with the fact that they have gone
> 'Christian Right' in<g>
> the last few years, and now think that they are above others in the
> neighborhood. >>
>
> That all by itself would do it.
> They have to answer to the people at church first, and then to God.
We have "people" like this in our neighborhood also. Thanks to
the heavily wooded area we live in, we do not have to look at them,
only hear them once in awhile. We have had run-ins with them over
their dogs coming over and trying to get in to bother our animals.
Our property is all fenced and cross-fenced so our animals are all
contained and safe. Even our four dogs stay in behind fences and
gates but do get to run around our property only. Their dogs run
loose and if you even dare to say anything to them about it (we have)
they go nuts and act and use very "un-Christian" language, even in
front of their kids . . . what an example to them. HA! "Haughty
Toads" (a Balinese book) they certainly are.
>breathe,
> <<Any suggestions on how to not let these people
> poison our life? >>
>
> Philosophy.
> Use them as an example of how not to be. Smile, look at the sky,
> and be glad your kids are coolYou are so right. We ignore them now and only amuse ourselves at
some of the things we can hear them say through the trees! Sara
Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema
>gates but do get to run around our property only. Their dogs runWe had a neighbor like that whose dog would run all over, day and night,
>loose and if you even dare to say anything to them about it (we have)
>they go nuts and act and use very "un-Christian" language, even in
making messes where ever he went and the family was rude about it. After a
couple of months, the rest of the neighbors started to work some 'natural
consequences' on the rude neighbor!
Some of the not-rude neighbors started catching the dog and repeatedly
brought him to the pound (sometimes twice in 24 hours!), putting the dog in
the 'dog drop kennels' which are available at night. It was never
discussed it on the street except to say,"I hear Shadow was in the pound
again last night" and never left names at the pound, so the rude neighbor
couldn't retaliate. The inconsiderate neighbor had to cough up more than a
hundred bucks each time to get their dog back. After a while, they started
keeping their dog closer to home. Too expensive in the long run to be an
inconsiderate neighbor. ...and I think the Humane Society enjoyed the
increased revenues while they lasted. Everyone won.
Nevermind it's not safe for the dog to go running around loose. They could
get hit by a car!
HeidiWD
Have a Nice Day!
> <<Any suggestions on how to not let these peopleyour
> poison our life? >>
>
> Philosophy.
> Use them as an example of how not to be. Smile, look at the sky, breathe,
> and be glad your kids are cool and that the neighbor kids like them and
> house.Might also want to make sure your son is never alone with any of them. Bad
>
enough to be just generally accused, but they could take it farther than
that.
Tia<<<<
Thats what we do. We've already had it happen more than once here, and I won't let it happen again. There is no telling what story they might concoct in order to drag him through the mud.
We've had experience with this from another neighbor who accused my son of hitting theirs with a baseball bat, when in fact he was riding a bike without a helmet in our driveway and wrecked. They successfully got money out of our home owners insurance after they ran him to the hospital in an ambulance and filed a police report (3 hours AFTER the incident).
Kristen
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
evelyns92
--- In [email protected], Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema
<heidi@d...> wrote:
attacking or is threatening livestock. We don't have a gun and if we
did I don't know if I could shoot a dog even if it went after our
animals. I think our dogs and/or donkeys would take care of the
problem before I could even get there. However, you can never know
how you would react until the situation arises. BUT if a dog or
anything else came after me or my child I would not hesitate. Nothing
is more dangerous than a mother defending her children! Sara
<heidi@d...> wrote:
>repeatedly
> Some of the not-rude neighbors started catching the dog and
> brought him to the pound (sometimes twice in 24 hours!), puttingthe dog in
> the 'dog drop kennels' which are available at night.They could
>
> Nevermind it's not safe for the dog to go running around loose.
> get hit by a car!Great idea! In our county it is legal to shoot a dog who is
> HeidiWD
attacking or is threatening livestock. We don't have a gun and if we
did I don't know if I could shoot a dog even if it went after our
animals. I think our dogs and/or donkeys would take care of the
problem before I could even get there. However, you can never know
how you would react until the situation arises. BUT if a dog or
anything else came after me or my child I would not hesitate. Nothing
is more dangerous than a mother defending her children! Sara
Dawn Ackroyd
That brings back nightmares to me. My brother went to deliver a birthday
invitation one day to some neighbors of ours when we were kids. We lived
in the country and he rode his bike over there. He was probably 5 years
old or so. The family dog followed him. While there their dog and our
dog started fighting. The father of this family got out a gun and shot
our dog. Boy, did this start big neighbor issues. The guy could have
shot a kid as easily as he hit the dog. Scary.
Dawn
-----Original Message-----
From: evelyns92 [mailto:evelynsfarm@...]
Sent: Wednesday, March 12, 2003 12:57 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: wrongfully accused
--- In [email protected], Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema
<heidi@d...> wrote:
attacking or is threatening livestock. We don't have a gun and if we
did I don't know if I could shoot a dog even if it went after our
animals. I think our dogs and/or donkeys would take care of the
problem before I could even get there. However, you can never know
how you would react until the situation arises. BUT if a dog or
anything else came after me or my child I would not hesitate. Nothing
is more dangerous than a mother defending her children! Sara
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
invitation one day to some neighbors of ours when we were kids. We lived
in the country and he rode his bike over there. He was probably 5 years
old or so. The family dog followed him. While there their dog and our
dog started fighting. The father of this family got out a gun and shot
our dog. Boy, did this start big neighbor issues. The guy could have
shot a kid as easily as he hit the dog. Scary.
Dawn
-----Original Message-----
From: evelyns92 [mailto:evelynsfarm@...]
Sent: Wednesday, March 12, 2003 12:57 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: wrongfully accused
--- In [email protected], Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema
<heidi@d...> wrote:
>repeatedly
> Some of the not-rude neighbors started catching the dog and
> brought him to the pound (sometimes twice in 24 hours!), puttingthe dog in
> the 'dog drop kennels' which are available at night.They could
>
> Nevermind it's not safe for the dog to go running around loose.
> get hit by a car!Great idea! In our county it is legal to shoot a dog who is
> HeidiWD
attacking or is threatening livestock. We don't have a gun and if we
did I don't know if I could shoot a dog even if it went after our
animals. I think our dogs and/or donkeys would take care of the
problem before I could even get there. However, you can never know
how you would react until the situation arises. BUT if a dog or
anything else came after me or my child I would not hesitate. Nothing
is more dangerous than a mother defending her children! Sara
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
<http://rd.yahoo.com/M=246920.2960106.4328965.2848452/D=egroupweb/S=1705
081972:HM/A=1481650/R=0/*http://www.gotomypc.com/u/tr/yh/cpm/grp/300_rea
l/g22lp?Target=mm/g22lp.tmpl>
<http://us.adserver.yahoo.com/l?M=246920.2960106.4328965.2848452/D=egrou
pmail/S=:HM/A=1481650/rand=248956642>
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If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
cinsurf
--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
little crazy when someone tries to mess with my kids. You put it in
the proper perspective for me, just as you have done so many times
before. I don't post very often, mostly just lurk, but you have saved
me and my children many days of strife when that old schoolish
thinking comes creeping back into my mind. Thanks. Cindi :)
>extreme
> In a message dated 3/11/03 9:08:10 AM, cinsurf@y... writes:
>
> << This may have something to do with the fact that they have gone
> 'Christian Right' in<g>
> the last few years, and now think that they are above others in the
> neighborhood. >>
>
> That all by itself would do it.
> They have to answer to the people at church first, and then to God.
>knows
> -=-Their
> children want to be at our house all the time. I fear them. Who
> what ridiculous assertion they will apply to my family next?-=-night, but
>
> Hey, it's your house. They don't have to let their kids spend the
> they can't change your rules while the kids ARE there.personal trauma
>
> -=-I can't
> even look at them (the parents)without becoming angry. I am losing
> sleep over this. -=-
>
> Let it go. Lots of people fear adolescent boys. Often it's
> (like your neighbor's guilt). I worked with another Englishteacher named
> Miss Pfiester. "Feester." I kid you not. Her name was EstherPfiester.
> She had been a teacher when I was a kid too.puberty and got
>
> We were teaching 9th grade English, both of us. If a boy hit
> tall and hairy, she wanted him OUT of her room. I kinda liked themat that
> gawky age, personally, and had no fear. I used to trade her. Ifsomeone
> really didn't like my class and would rather go to hers where theyjust did
> what the book said, copy this exercise with the proper verb form,circle the
> nouns, stuff like that, they'd go. I'd trade her a girl or a still-childlike
> boy for her bigger hairier boys. And often the boy was happy to bein my
> more busy, less predictable classroom because part of his problemwas needing
> to move and twitch and look out the window. No problem for me.fear that.
>
> Boys ideally DO get bigger and they become men. Some people will
>breathe,
> <<Any suggestions on how to not let these people
> poison our life? >>
>
> Philosophy.
> Use them as an example of how not to be. Smile, look at the sky,
> and be glad your kids are cool and that the neighbor kids like themand your
> house.Thank you so much Sandra. I feel better now. I guess I just get a
>
> Sandra
little crazy when someone tries to mess with my kids. You put it in
the proper perspective for me, just as you have done so many times
before. I don't post very often, mostly just lurk, but you have saved
me and my children many days of strife when that old schoolish
thinking comes creeping back into my mind. Thanks. Cindi :)