Considering Unschooling
tbird10952
Hello,
My daughter is a frdhamn at a public high school,and she is very
unsatisfied with her daily life there. She recently discovered the
unschooling theory and has been begging us to let her out. My husband
and I both have doubts about whether this is the right solution. I'd
really appreciate any advice from parents of unschooling teenagers.
How has it affected their social life, what are the pros and cons,
how do you measure their mastery, etc. etc. Any stories or words of
wisdom you can supply would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks!
Terri Blackman (TBird1952@...)
My daughter is a frdhamn at a public high school,and she is very
unsatisfied with her daily life there. She recently discovered the
unschooling theory and has been begging us to let her out. My husband
and I both have doubts about whether this is the right solution. I'd
really appreciate any advice from parents of unschooling teenagers.
How has it affected their social life, what are the pros and cons,
how do you measure their mastery, etc. etc. Any stories or words of
wisdom you can supply would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks!
Terri Blackman (TBird1952@...)
Fetteroll
on 3/8/03 5:00 PM, tbird10952 at TBird1952@... wrote:
I know that sounds like a dumb question, but we send kids to school as
though school were some magical process that turns nothing into "success".
And we do it automatically, without question. "It's just what you *do*
because horrible things will happen if you don't!"
How is she less than a perfect her right now? What problem are you trying to
solve? What is it she's lacking that you want to change in her?
Real Lives: Eleven Teenagers Who Don't Go to School, also by Grace
Llewellyn.
Parent/Teen Break Through: The Relationship Approach.
You are actually at a *very* healthy place compared to many parents of
teens. You've listened to her and taken her needs seriously. (So maybe you
don't even need the second book! :-)
and feeding herself?
The problem with school is that they teach skills and knowledge as though
the skills and knowledge were the goal. But they're not goals. They're tools
like a hammer. Teaching hammering as a skill separate from building things
would be pointless. Especially in an atmosphere where kids aren't allowed to
build.
Think of how your daughter learned English. Did she learn English becaue
English was important? Or did she learn English as a side-effect of using it
as a tool to get what she wanted?
*For KIDS* unschooling is as easy as learning English. :-) They pursue what
interests them naturally and, just as adults do, they learn what they need
to know to pursue their interests as they go along.
For parents, though, "getting it" takes a lot of mental cleaning out.
There's so much we've just accepted without question about how children need
to learn that it takes hours of reading and thinking to weed out the
falacies.
Peter Kowalke is a grown unschooler. He made a documentary about unschooled
kids. And he has a website at http://www.peterkowalke.com/.
Joyce
> My husbandRight solution for what?
> and I both have doubts about whether this is the right solution.
I know that sounds like a dumb question, but we send kids to school as
though school were some magical process that turns nothing into "success".
And we do it automatically, without question. "It's just what you *do*
because horrible things will happen if you don't!"
How is she less than a perfect her right now? What problem are you trying to
solve? What is it she's lacking that you want to change in her?
> I'dGrace Llewellyn's The Teenage Liberation Handbook (1998)
> really appreciate any advice from parents of unschooling teenagers.
Real Lives: Eleven Teenagers Who Don't Go to School, also by Grace
Llewellyn.
Parent/Teen Break Through: The Relationship Approach.
You are actually at a *very* healthy place compared to many parents of
teens. You've listened to her and taken her needs seriously. (So maybe you
don't even need the second book! :-)
> How has it affected their social life, what are the pros and cons,How did you measure her mastery as a toddler learning English and walking
> how do you measure their mastery, etc. etc. Any stories or words of
> wisdom you can supply would be greatly appreciated.
and feeding herself?
The problem with school is that they teach skills and knowledge as though
the skills and knowledge were the goal. But they're not goals. They're tools
like a hammer. Teaching hammering as a skill separate from building things
would be pointless. Especially in an atmosphere where kids aren't allowed to
build.
Think of how your daughter learned English. Did she learn English becaue
English was important? Or did she learn English as a side-effect of using it
as a tool to get what she wanted?
*For KIDS* unschooling is as easy as learning English. :-) They pursue what
interests them naturally and, just as adults do, they learn what they need
to know to pursue their interests as they go along.
For parents, though, "getting it" takes a lot of mental cleaning out.
There's so much we've just accepted without question about how children need
to learn that it takes hours of reading and thinking to weed out the
falacies.
Peter Kowalke is a grown unschooler. He made a documentary about unschooled
kids. And he has a website at http://www.peterkowalke.com/.
Joyce
marji
At 18:01 3/8/03 -0500, Joyce wrote:
excellent. Would it be okay if I shared that with a friend of mine? I was
attempting to explain unschooling to her, but I think your post is much
clearer and succinct than I can ever be.
I'm really glad I "know" you (as in, met you one time at a conference and
get to read some of the stuff that you write).
Best,
Marji
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>The problem with school is that they teach skills and knowledge as thoughWell said, Joyce!! (As usual.) In fact, your entire response was
>the skills and knowledge were the goal. But they're not goals. They're tools
>like a hammer. Teaching hammering as a skill separate from building things
>would be pointless. Especially in an atmosphere where kids aren't allowed to
>build.
excellent. Would it be okay if I shared that with a friend of mine? I was
attempting to explain unschooling to her, but I think your post is much
clearer and succinct than I can ever be.
I'm really glad I "know" you (as in, met you one time at a conference and
get to read some of the stuff that you write).
Best,
Marji
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Fetteroll
on 3/8/03 6:20 PM, marji at marji@... wrote:
motherly type, radiating calm and peace :-)
Joyce
> Well said, Joyce!! (As usual.) In fact, your entire response wasOf course!
> excellent. Would it be okay if I shared that with a friend of mine? I was
> attempting to explain unschooling to her, but I think your post is much
> clearer and succinct than I can ever be.
> I'm really glad I "know" you (as in, met you one time at a conference andThank you :-) It was awesome meeting you too. You seem like an earth
> get to read some of the stuff that you write).
motherly type, radiating calm and peace :-)
Joyce
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/8/03 4:00:06 PM, fetteroll@... writes:
<< For parents, though, "getting it" takes a lot of mental cleaning out.
There's so much we've just accepted without question about how children need
to learn that it takes hours of reading and thinking to weed out the
falacies. >>
Right. What Joyce said.
Plus consider this stuff:
http://SandraDodd.com/deschooling
<A HREF="http://sandradodd.com/deschooling">Deschooling for Parents, by
Sandra Dodd</A>
<< For parents, though, "getting it" takes a lot of mental cleaning out.
There's so much we've just accepted without question about how children need
to learn that it takes hours of reading and thinking to weed out the
falacies. >>
Right. What Joyce said.
Plus consider this stuff:
http://SandraDodd.com/deschooling
<A HREF="http://sandradodd.com/deschooling">Deschooling for Parents, by
Sandra Dodd</A>
zenmomma *
Hi Terri and welcome.
unschooling? What has made unschooling look like the best choice for *her*?
Sounds like she's been doing her research and made a decision based on what
she's learned. Do you trust her to make good decisions?
sorts of negative coping behaviors. Therefore, he's able to socialize and
hold conversations with people of all ages. He doesn't worry about cliques
or fitting in. He's very proud of being Who He Is.
kids creating their own internal model of the universe. They add to that
model each and everyday and are never behind themselves in their learning.
They have no fear of learning anthing that interests them. They pursue
knowledge for the sake of learning something they want/need to know. They
never approach learning as something to be forgotten after the test.
stories in all of these forums. Read with an open heart. Be open to what
your daughter is trying to tell you about her school experience. She's aking
to come home for a reason.
Life is good.
~Mary
MSN 8 helps eliminate e-mail viruses. Get 2 months FREE*.
http://join.msn.com/?page=features/virus
>>My husband and I both have doubts about whether this is the rightThe right solution for what? What is *your daughter* hoping to get out of
>>solution.>>
unschooling? What has made unschooling look like the best choice for *her*?
Sounds like she's been doing her research and made a decision based on what
she's learned. Do you trust her to make good decisions?
>>I'd really appreciate any advice from parents of unschooling teenagers.Well, my son's not trapped all day is a stressful situation learning all
>>How has it affected their social life>>
sorts of negative coping behaviors. Therefore, he's able to socialize and
hold conversations with people of all ages. He doesn't worry about cliques
or fitting in. He's very proud of being Who He Is.
>>what are the pros and cons,how do you measure their mastery, etc. >>I don't think in terms of mastering school subjects. I think in terms of my
kids creating their own internal model of the universe. They add to that
model each and everyday and are never behind themselves in their learning.
They have no fear of learning anthing that interests them. They pursue
knowledge for the sake of learning something they want/need to know. They
never approach learning as something to be forgotten after the test.
>>Any stories or words of wisdom you can supply would be greatlyRead here, at unschooling.com and sandradodd.com. Lots of us have shared
>>appreciated.>>
stories in all of these forums. Read with an open heart. Be open to what
your daughter is trying to tell you about her school experience. She's aking
to come home for a reason.
Life is good.
~Mary
>_________________________________________________________________
MSN 8 helps eliminate e-mail viruses. Get 2 months FREE*.
http://join.msn.com/?page=features/virus