zenmomma *

>>We have always had personality clashes, and it was a really hard decision
>>to bring her home from school when her going to school meant a break from
>>a defiant child. Isn't that awful? >>

It's understandable in light of the relationship you used to have and the
parenting skills you had to work with at the time. That was then, this is
now. It's okay to forgive yourself and move up into this moment, where life
is unfolding.

>>I am not trying to whine, but being around someone all day long who fights
>>me, would disagree the sky was blue just because mom said it...>>

...is like being around a hormonal teenager, a feisty 3 year old, a PMS mom?
;-) I DO understand and am not trying to dismiss your feelings. But you've
got to remember that it's really not so much about you as it is about your
daughter. It's about where she is and her moods and her natural disposition.

>>gets emotional and blames me for all her problems,>>

I would be open to what seem to be reasonable complaints and let the rest
just flow on by.

>>says she hates homeschooling just to try to hurt me>>

Nah. Maybe she does hate homeschooling right now, but I'd suspect she's
trying to get a reaction or venting, not trying to hurt you. It's not about
you. It's about your daughter reacting to something new and different.
Change is hard, even a change for the better. She sounds like she just needs
more room than most to figure it all out.

>>I subject myself to this daily for a kid who doesn't appreciate it!>>

It's hard sometimes, but I don't think it's reasonable to expect kids to
show appreciation for our parenting. For them, it's just life. They don't
have the awful parenting we know about to compare it to. I think it's a good
thing that they take our goodness for granted sometimes. It means we
preparing them to expect goodness.

>>I told her yesterday after she screamed she hated me, that I am not the
>>perfect parent, I make mistakes, and I don't think she will ever meet
>>someone who loves her more and will try harder to learn and change for the
>>better.>>

Hmmm...that kind of limits her expectations for relationships in the future
don't you think?

>>She exhausts me, to say the least.>>

Take it day by day and moment by moment. Try to focus on the parts of her
that you like right now. Keep that as your focus.

>>We have two younger children and I feel guilty that I can't be more for
>>her.>>

Guilt is a useless emotion. It does nothing to move us towards a better
life. Do what you can, live each moment as you are able. Be your best self.
It's all we can ask of anyone.

Life is good.
~Mary

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In a message dated 2/28/03 1:12:54 PM Eastern Standard Time,
zenmomma@... writes:

> Be your best self.
> It's all we can ask of anyone.
>
> Life is good.
> ~Mary
>
>

thank you for your honest response, I truly appreciate all of it, even the
parts that don't feel too good :0)
Ang
Unschooling mom to
Megan(10) Ashlyn(3) Christian(1.5)
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/unolist/index.html">UNO Unschoolers Network of Ohio</A>
<A HREF="http://members.aol.com/megamom08/page1.html">My Links Page MEGAMOM08</A>


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