unschooling school? was unschool math
Mary Bianco
>From: Have a Nice Day! <litlrooh@...><<His attitude toward school is that it is stupid but he wants to be with
his friends. I figure it he feels that way, he'll come home before he gets
into trouble over it. I think he just wants to decide if its worth it to be
with his friends and I don't think it will take long for him to decide.>>
My daughter will readily admit her first reason for wanting to go to school.
It's for the social stuff. The people, her friends, all the daily
interaction, the homecomings and proms. Funny thing is of the latter two,
she hasn't gone to any yet!!! She figures it should be special and she's
saving homecoming and prom for her last year. Go figure. Maybe they aren't
all as important as she thought. Maybe again she just likes the idea of
having the choice and being able to say no. Tara has always had this power
struggle going on with herself and others. I think that's half the thing
about school. Pushing the line a little but not being over it. Of course I
was the same way in school. Never really in trouble but always pushing it
with teachers and rules enough to get noticed. I understand Tara. That's
good for us both!
The second thing that Tara finds interesting is the validation. She likes
seeing herself being good at something instead of just knowing it and
hearing it from us. The paper and accolades count for her. That's her and if
that's what she needs and wants, I'm with her. I can actually see the last
year undoing all the crap the schools did to her previously. It was our
whole attitude change and I have this list to partly thank for stressing
that to me. It has made a difference, even if we are talking school. Again
we're talking choices. I just really hope none of the other 3 want to go
that way.<bg> Hypocritical I guess but hopeful none the less.
Mary B
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--- In [email protected], "Mary Bianco" >
<>My daughter will readily admit her first reason for wanting to go
to school. It's for the social stuff. The people, her friends, all
the daily interaction, the homecomings and proms. Funny thing is of
the latter two, she hasn't gone to any yet!!!<>
My daughter started out in what appeared to be a good supportive home
education environment with a large homeschool support group that
called itself inclusive. The reality was something else we soon
learned, and ultimately she ended up being the only homeschooler in
this large group who was officially banned from the homeschool prom,
a small rather expensive affair organized by a small group of moms
from this homeschool support group. Now, this was not the first time
she had experienced exclusion from members of this group, but this
was the first time we were officially notified of her exclusion.
Why? Was she some sort of miscreant? Did she have a behavior
problem? Was she known for her wildness and unsocial attitudes?
Nope. She is, in fact, an extremely disciplined competitive figure
skater aiming for the U. S. Nationals in the next few years. She is
pretty and congenial, and bright, a high achiever involved in lots of
outside social and volunteer activities, educational and
philanthropic groups and projects.
So why was she excluded? No one felt that they had to give a
reason. But some did spread lies and rumors. One mother told the
group of organizing mothers that I had phoned her inquiring about
whether or not my daughter could attend this prom, that I had argued
with her, and that she had told me clearly that my daugther was not
welcome, then I had hung up on her. None of which is true; never
happened. I never called anyone to inquire about my daughter
attending this prom. She goes to several proms and formal dances
every year, as a guest of the friends she has made through her other
organizational activities outside the home education world. As a
matter of fact, on the very day this exclusive little homeschool prom
was supposed to take place she had already accepted an invitation to
attend another formal dance, a very fancy one at one of the best and
biggest schools in our metropolitan area. So she had never even
thought about going to this homeschool prom.
On the other hand, I had inquired via my e-list about this prom, so
that I could post the information, all the facts, on my homeschool e-
list for other homeschooled teens who might be interested. I had no
idea about what was going on behind the scenes in this group of moms
who were organizing this event. I do know that I wasn't getting
responses to my email queries for information. But since it wasn't
something I was personally concerned about I didn't really care one
way or the other, just tried to get the basic info to post for other
homeschoolers who might be interested, which I do every day for all
kinds of activities that I learn about.
Finally I received an email from one of the moms informing me that my
daughter had been banned from this homeschool prom, not giving any
reason, of course, just informing me that I should not have made that
phone call to one of the moms, should not have hung up on her.
Wow!!! The lengths to which some people will go to justify their
bigotry and bad behavior. I was stunned by this email. But the
small-mindedness of some of the local homeschoolers had more than
come home to me in the past, which is why we made every effort to
expand my daughter's circle of friends and activities way beyond the
home education crowd.
Today she attends a number of proms and formals throughout the year,
all at area high schools, as a guest of other teens she has met in
all her different activities. What's more she always designs and
makes her own prom dresses since one of her career interests is
fashion design. This month's floor length slinky shimmery gown was a
big hit, costing her a grand total of $5. She went with a date who
was the star of the whole dance since he was the best dancer there,
had circles of other dancers standing around him most of the evening,
lines of girls trying to get a dance with him, often dancing with as
many as six girls simultaneously. He, too, was a guest at this
formal dance, as was my daughter, both invited by one of my
daughter's good friends. My daughter had to share him for many of
the dances, but she didn't mind at all. She had lots of other
friends there that she wanted to dance with so she enjoyed the
privilege of being the only one this handsome and well-liked young
man chose to dance with for all the slow dances, which made her very
special indeed.
What did she miss by being banned, shunned, from the homeschool
prom? She missed attending an expensive and very exclusive little
dance with a small group of small-minded people. Instead she has
attended, and continues to attend, a string of wonderful proms and
formal dances throughout our greater metropolitan area, with lots of
friends she knows at these dances, and the opportunity to make many
new friends, too. She finds herself very socially comfortable in a
wide variety of situations, and has a great sense of social self-
confidence. And she has never had to attend a single day of public
or private school to enjoy all these social benefits from the
institutionalized teen high school scene.
I guess the moral of my story is for home educators not to limit
themselves to our small home education communities and groups,
especially as our children enter their teen years. A whole big
wonderful world is waiting for their participation, and often the
best things do not come from the immediate circle of home education
support group activities. By encouraging my daughter to pursue her
interests, to involve herself in a wide variety of activities, all of
which have greatly expanded her social circles, she has even more
social and civic options open to her than the average high schooler.
She does not see the world in terms of a cheerleading letter sweater,
or one high school athletic team, or one pre-determined group of
friends who come from the pool who get shuffled into one specific
educational institution. I think she is way ahead on the social
integration end of things.
Norma
<>My daughter will readily admit her first reason for wanting to go
to school. It's for the social stuff. The people, her friends, all
the daily interaction, the homecomings and proms. Funny thing is of
the latter two, she hasn't gone to any yet!!!<>
My daughter started out in what appeared to be a good supportive home
education environment with a large homeschool support group that
called itself inclusive. The reality was something else we soon
learned, and ultimately she ended up being the only homeschooler in
this large group who was officially banned from the homeschool prom,
a small rather expensive affair organized by a small group of moms
from this homeschool support group. Now, this was not the first time
she had experienced exclusion from members of this group, but this
was the first time we were officially notified of her exclusion.
Why? Was she some sort of miscreant? Did she have a behavior
problem? Was she known for her wildness and unsocial attitudes?
Nope. She is, in fact, an extremely disciplined competitive figure
skater aiming for the U. S. Nationals in the next few years. She is
pretty and congenial, and bright, a high achiever involved in lots of
outside social and volunteer activities, educational and
philanthropic groups and projects.
So why was she excluded? No one felt that they had to give a
reason. But some did spread lies and rumors. One mother told the
group of organizing mothers that I had phoned her inquiring about
whether or not my daughter could attend this prom, that I had argued
with her, and that she had told me clearly that my daugther was not
welcome, then I had hung up on her. None of which is true; never
happened. I never called anyone to inquire about my daughter
attending this prom. She goes to several proms and formal dances
every year, as a guest of the friends she has made through her other
organizational activities outside the home education world. As a
matter of fact, on the very day this exclusive little homeschool prom
was supposed to take place she had already accepted an invitation to
attend another formal dance, a very fancy one at one of the best and
biggest schools in our metropolitan area. So she had never even
thought about going to this homeschool prom.
On the other hand, I had inquired via my e-list about this prom, so
that I could post the information, all the facts, on my homeschool e-
list for other homeschooled teens who might be interested. I had no
idea about what was going on behind the scenes in this group of moms
who were organizing this event. I do know that I wasn't getting
responses to my email queries for information. But since it wasn't
something I was personally concerned about I didn't really care one
way or the other, just tried to get the basic info to post for other
homeschoolers who might be interested, which I do every day for all
kinds of activities that I learn about.
Finally I received an email from one of the moms informing me that my
daughter had been banned from this homeschool prom, not giving any
reason, of course, just informing me that I should not have made that
phone call to one of the moms, should not have hung up on her.
Wow!!! The lengths to which some people will go to justify their
bigotry and bad behavior. I was stunned by this email. But the
small-mindedness of some of the local homeschoolers had more than
come home to me in the past, which is why we made every effort to
expand my daughter's circle of friends and activities way beyond the
home education crowd.
Today she attends a number of proms and formals throughout the year,
all at area high schools, as a guest of other teens she has met in
all her different activities. What's more she always designs and
makes her own prom dresses since one of her career interests is
fashion design. This month's floor length slinky shimmery gown was a
big hit, costing her a grand total of $5. She went with a date who
was the star of the whole dance since he was the best dancer there,
had circles of other dancers standing around him most of the evening,
lines of girls trying to get a dance with him, often dancing with as
many as six girls simultaneously. He, too, was a guest at this
formal dance, as was my daughter, both invited by one of my
daughter's good friends. My daughter had to share him for many of
the dances, but she didn't mind at all. She had lots of other
friends there that she wanted to dance with so she enjoyed the
privilege of being the only one this handsome and well-liked young
man chose to dance with for all the slow dances, which made her very
special indeed.
What did she miss by being banned, shunned, from the homeschool
prom? She missed attending an expensive and very exclusive little
dance with a small group of small-minded people. Instead she has
attended, and continues to attend, a string of wonderful proms and
formal dances throughout our greater metropolitan area, with lots of
friends she knows at these dances, and the opportunity to make many
new friends, too. She finds herself very socially comfortable in a
wide variety of situations, and has a great sense of social self-
confidence. And she has never had to attend a single day of public
or private school to enjoy all these social benefits from the
institutionalized teen high school scene.
I guess the moral of my story is for home educators not to limit
themselves to our small home education communities and groups,
especially as our children enter their teen years. A whole big
wonderful world is waiting for their participation, and often the
best things do not come from the immediate circle of home education
support group activities. By encouraging my daughter to pursue her
interests, to involve herself in a wide variety of activities, all of
which have greatly expanded her social circles, she has even more
social and civic options open to her than the average high schooler.
She does not see the world in terms of a cheerleading letter sweater,
or one high school athletic team, or one pre-determined group of
friends who come from the pool who get shuffled into one specific
educational institution. I think she is way ahead on the social
integration end of things.
Norma