treating kids like people
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In a message dated 2/26/03 9:56:51 AM, genant2@... writes:
<< I think sometimes outsiders think that the way I parent is "the easy way
out"
but I really think it is the harder road. I force myself (and they force me)
to treat my children like any other person... if I want my way it is about
compromise. >>
OH!!!
The other night Marty had had a long day, was frustrated with various things
and people, and we got into an argument. Yelling. I finally said "WHY are
you yelling at me?"
He said "Because you were yelling at me."
Simple fact.
I think he started it. <g>
But if I'm going to treat him like a person I shouldn't yell at him and I
can't get made because he yelled at his mom. He was yelling at another
person. I'm the one who made the groundrules, so I couldn't say "You can't
yell at your mother." The little voices inside me said "Don't let him yell
at you like that," but the bigger wiser voice told me to stop yelling at him
and the whole thing would be over.
We hugged and touched and checked on each other sweetly more the next day
than we had for two weeks before that. And maybe that was part of the
problem too. We hadn't connected as much as usual for several days before
the incident. He had lost his normal contact with what I needed and was
doing and why, and I wasn't aware of the frustrations of his day.
We had failed to be together.
Sandra
<< I think sometimes outsiders think that the way I parent is "the easy way
out"
but I really think it is the harder road. I force myself (and they force me)
to treat my children like any other person... if I want my way it is about
compromise. >>
OH!!!
The other night Marty had had a long day, was frustrated with various things
and people, and we got into an argument. Yelling. I finally said "WHY are
you yelling at me?"
He said "Because you were yelling at me."
Simple fact.
I think he started it. <g>
But if I'm going to treat him like a person I shouldn't yell at him and I
can't get made because he yelled at his mom. He was yelling at another
person. I'm the one who made the groundrules, so I couldn't say "You can't
yell at your mother." The little voices inside me said "Don't let him yell
at you like that," but the bigger wiser voice told me to stop yelling at him
and the whole thing would be over.
We hugged and touched and checked on each other sweetly more the next day
than we had for two weeks before that. And maybe that was part of the
problem too. We hadn't connected as much as usual for several days before
the incident. He had lost his normal contact with what I needed and was
doing and why, and I wasn't aware of the frustrations of his day.
We had failed to be together.
Sandra