Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:That's enough/Sandra
Deborah Lewis
On Sat, 15 Feb 2003 16:45:43 -0800 (PST) joanne comito
<joannec28804@...> writes:
***I see that I can loosen up and watch them
become who they are without constant surveillance. It
has made an incredible difference in
homeschooling--every day unfolds so much more
harmoniously now. ***
That's wonderful. It's as liberating for the parents as it is for the
children when life together is a happy partnership.
***On the other hand, what I find difficult about this
list is how often a power struggle develops that just
seems to go and on and on.***
Is it really a power struggle when only one participant is struggling?
When there is a real disagreement, the folks who have a lot of time
invested in helping others continue to try to reach out. That can look
like fueling the fire but when it's been the goal of someone for years to
help facilitate understanding it's not really reasonable to expect them
to just shut up and let a misunderstanding fester.
I admire people who step in and keep trying to explain a situation when
someone is clearly not seeing it. I can't do that. I get too impatient
and Joyce would have to smack me. But others here are more patient and
continue to believe there's a way to reach out. Good for them! Maybe
the one involved in the conflict won't come to any peaceful understanding
but someone lurking might be getting something they need, might hear that
one thing that can make the lights come on for them. That'd be worth
it.
***If new people don't feel free to express doubts and
concerns along the way, they may very well give up
prematurely. There is a lot of deconditioning that
has to take place in unschooling, obviously, and it
may take some time to "get it".***
People (not just new people!) can talk about their doubts and concerns
all they need to. Almost everyone here went to school and had to
overcome some kind of schoolish conditioning. Being mean and
emotionally immature is not recommend but it happens and eventually the
topic moves on to something better.
One thing to remember if you're new is that most questions get answered
over and over again every few weeks. Not everyone will respond at first
if they've just burned themselves out in the last weeks trying to explain
or encourage. You might have to ask again, you might have to wait a bit
but it's not that a poster or a question is being ignored. Don't take
it personally, it's just the timing.
Things will lighten up if you hang around awhile. And really there's a
lot of learning can happen during these times when it just seems like
bickering.
Deb L
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
<joannec28804@...> writes:
***I see that I can loosen up and watch them
become who they are without constant surveillance. It
has made an incredible difference in
homeschooling--every day unfolds so much more
harmoniously now. ***
That's wonderful. It's as liberating for the parents as it is for the
children when life together is a happy partnership.
***On the other hand, what I find difficult about this
list is how often a power struggle develops that just
seems to go and on and on.***
Is it really a power struggle when only one participant is struggling?
When there is a real disagreement, the folks who have a lot of time
invested in helping others continue to try to reach out. That can look
like fueling the fire but when it's been the goal of someone for years to
help facilitate understanding it's not really reasonable to expect them
to just shut up and let a misunderstanding fester.
I admire people who step in and keep trying to explain a situation when
someone is clearly not seeing it. I can't do that. I get too impatient
and Joyce would have to smack me. But others here are more patient and
continue to believe there's a way to reach out. Good for them! Maybe
the one involved in the conflict won't come to any peaceful understanding
but someone lurking might be getting something they need, might hear that
one thing that can make the lights come on for them. That'd be worth
it.
***If new people don't feel free to express doubts and
concerns along the way, they may very well give up
prematurely. There is a lot of deconditioning that
has to take place in unschooling, obviously, and it
may take some time to "get it".***
People (not just new people!) can talk about their doubts and concerns
all they need to. Almost everyone here went to school and had to
overcome some kind of schoolish conditioning. Being mean and
emotionally immature is not recommend but it happens and eventually the
topic moves on to something better.
One thing to remember if you're new is that most questions get answered
over and over again every few weeks. Not everyone will respond at first
if they've just burned themselves out in the last weeks trying to explain
or encourage. You might have to ask again, you might have to wait a bit
but it's not that a poster or a question is being ignored. Don't take
it personally, it's just the timing.
Things will lighten up if you hang around awhile. And really there's a
lot of learning can happen during these times when it just seems like
bickering.
Deb L
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
joanne comito
--- Deborah Lewis <ddzimlew@...> wrote:
Joanne
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>Thanks you Deb--I appreciate your thoughts,
> Things will lighten up if you hang around awhile.
> And really there's a
> lot of learning can happen during these times when
> it just seems like
> bickering.
Joanne
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