[email protected]

In a message dated 2/15/03 12:42:34 PM Eastern Standard Time,
zenmomma@... writes:


> As I type this, Casey at age 9, is having a frustration tantrum in the next
> room that neither Jon nor I can break through. She's moaning and flailing
> like she's possessed. I've tried all my loving, caring and understanding
> ways. I've tried hugging and distracting and reasoning and breathing
> suggestions. I've tried moving her and letting her be. It's not working.
> There's a pain in her soul right now that I cannot seem to reach. As a
> mother, this is very hard.
>
> But it's not the unschooling.
>
> I guess we're all just going to ride this one out till she's exhausted. So
> hard. After it's over I'll try again to connect with her.
>
> So, yes, I understand extremes. I just try VERY hard to not let her
> emotions
> become my emotions.
>
> Life is good.
> ~Mary
>

Yeah, Mary, been there done that.. I feel ya, girl. Sometimes you can't even
hold them because they are flailing, kicking and resisting so much.

You know, my boys have been "like this" since they were born. .NOT just
since we started unschooling. I sometimes find it confusing figuring out
how unschooling "works" or fits into our lives with kids who have special
needs. I dont know how the idea got planted that I blame unschooling for my
kids behavior.. Or that I dont think it can work for my kids. Or that I am
against unschooling or that I dont practice it. It DOES work for them, but
sometimes I have to figure out how to implement it. Because I have questions
and concerns about how to unschool my special needs kids, because what works
for others may not always work for us, does not mean I am not unschooling or
that I don't condone the approach. Something has been misread in this
interpretation.

Teresa


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

myfunny4 <[email protected]>

--- In [email protected], grlynbl@a... wrote:
> I sometimes find it confusing figuring out
> how unschooling "works" or fits into our lives with kids who have
special
> needs.

Hi Teresa,

I don't try to make "unschooling" work for Kevin (my six year old son
with disabilities); he makes it work for himself. I guess that
sounds flippant, but it's really the only way I can explain it.

I provide him with lots of textured materials, because he's a tactile
learner (he's vision impaired); I give him a safe place with lots of
things to explore...poke his fingers into, push over, taste, hear,
smell, etc. I am with him, talking to him, telling him what he's
feeling, what he's seeing, what he's hearing...keeping him safe;
helping him crawl up onto the couch so he can touch the cold
windowpane, and I tell him about winter, pointing out the clingy
snowflakes I had put there another day that he can peel off; he
crawls over to the piano and pats the leg - his sign for me to lift
him up so he can *play* the piano...and I talk about what beautiful
music he makes.

I make books for him because book publishers don't cater to the small
market of kids with vision impairment; but he loves books and he
deserves to have books to enjoy. If he wants to spend an entire day
going through his "books", then that's what we do; if he wants to
spend the day in his specially-designed swing listening to his "Best
of Sesame Street" CD, then that's what we do. My job is to provide
an environment that supports learning; he does the learning himself.

I am there with him, giving him whatever help or information he needs
to make sense of his world, and along the way he learns that he's
valued as a human being, he's loved, he's respected.

So, for Kevin, unschooling doesn't fit into his life...it IS his life.

My understanding of this gradually changed the way my other children
homeschool. Unschooling Kevin came so naturally to me, because my
only expectation for him was to be happy. It hasn't been so easy for
me to let go of expectations for my other kids...but we're getting
there...thanks to Kevin.

I hope this helps you understand unschooling in a family loving a
child with severe multiple disabilities...who also has a gorgeous
smile, an infectious belly-laugh, and the heart of a hero in a frail
body.

Debbie