[email protected]

In a message dated 2/13/2003 10:50:03 PM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:


> Once or
> twice a week I force her to have it washed and combed. In the spirit of an
> unschooling household where kids have a choice, am I doing something wrong
> and damaging to our mutual trust? It feels uncomfortable to force her, but
> I don't know what else to do.
>

I have this exact situation with my three and a half year old. Very long,
very curly, very tangly. It's been a long process. We wash about once a
week - just when both the kids get stinky. then we glob on the conditioner
and let it sit. Then we comb. It used to be a screaming match. I talk
calmly throughout. telling her how it will break off in clumps if not combed
(we jhave a cat who mats and this illustrated the problem nicely), how
beautiful her hair is when it's combed, how we could decide to cut it short
if she really doesn't want it combed, yada, yada. Options given and
rejected. Crying time shortens. Each time someone outside comments on her
hair (it really is beautiful!), I mention how it was just combed. Now she's
asking for it to be combed. She's not happy during the combing but likes the
end result.

I'm not sure this was the right way or the wrong way. She didn't want her
hair cut, which seemed to be the only logical resolution to the problem.
She's started looking at herself in the mirror now. Ultimately it was her
decision to keep her hair long and have it combed. At least I think it was.
i looked at it like her inhaler. She doesn't particularly like to use it,
but if she doesn't, she gets an asthma attack with each and every cold.
She's mostly accepting of that now too.

Elizabeth


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