Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] TV and junk food
zenmomma *
>>If we let our kids have unlimited access to "junk" tv, etc, don't yourMy kids have unlimited access to TV and food. This means they can choose
>>think they will take advantage of it in the same way they will take
>>advantage of "junk" food, if we stocked our pantry full of an unlimited
>>supply. Isn't it our responsibility to offer a healthy assortment of food
>>from which to choose, including some not-so-healthy treats, to enjoy on
>>occasion, and in the same way, isn't it our responsibility to provide a
>>healthy assortment of entertainment options.>>
from what's available at the moment, and also that I'll try to keep their
favorites on hand. This doesn't mean that they spend 24/7 eating Ho-Ho's in
front of Sponge Bob though. They have complete access and therefore have the
choice to take it or leave it. And quite over they do leave it for other
activities and different food choices.
I keep the pantry and fridge stocked with a wide variety of breads, meats
(sorry you veg-heads ;-)), fruits, veggies, treats, drinks etc. We own 2
TV's and have a DISH system that shows an amazingly wide array of
programming from Shakespeare and opera to CatDog and Looney Toons. I believe
they all have merit if chosen freely by my kids. I even wrote something
recently about my dd Casey, then 8, and her comment about cartoon physics.
The kids kids are always thinking.
My personal experience has been that limiting something makes it very
special and desired. My kids have unlimited access and it's no big deal.
There's no sneaking or bingeing and they don't take advantage. They make
choices.
Life is good.
~Mary
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Liza Sabater
On Thursday, February 13, 2003, at 07:44 PM, zenmomma * wrote:
of the TV, computer even the freaking toilet because you live in a very
small apartment and everybody has to take turns. When I read about
these issue I can just envision you all in a space that, even in the
smallest of houses, is probably 3 times the size of living space we
have --and I don't even want to think of other peoples spaces here in
NYC who think ours is big! Size does matter ...
These past two weeks brought this space issue really well. My father
died and I literally had to leave the apartment so that I could cry in
peace. It's not that my kids did not see me cry but that, there is a
certain place I go when I grieve where I just have to be left alone
--being around other people actually does not calm me at all. Now I
understand the concept of cathedrals --they have nooks and crannies in
which you can just sit, even hide, cry a little, calm down and even
meditate in lieu of praying.
I have been thinking a lot about spaces and their purposes. Places like
bedrooms, kitchens, hospitals, morgues, funeral homes, cemeteries,
birthing rooms, restaurants and fast food joints. I am not an expert in
Feng Shui but I get the overall premise --that your environment affects
how you behave.
What I get from a lot of these posts (which seem to come in cycles) is
that these issues of limiting or not limiting activity do not have so
much with the activity itself but the kind of energy it generates and
how that affects the living environment. When I took my computer out of
my bedroom, not only I could sleep better but I started to write more.
The energy in the room felt better. We put my old computer in the kids
bedroom and now they rarely use it (we have to rearrange the old dining
room area once again to make space for it).
That said, even if we moved to a house (which wont be happening anytime
soon) I think I would still keep the overall arrangement we have here:
A room full of gadgetry (computers and TV included), a play room and
then the rest. I feel that each room or section of the living space
should be assigned to certain activities so that you can have high and
low energy spaces to go to. And make it a point to take a few moments
during the day to stop, breathe, do a little relaxation and if possible
meditation. Even if it happens once a week. My kids take breaks when
they see me take a break. When I stretch and do a little of yoga in
front of them (can't do a whole routine around my little one for fear
of him inuring me!) they want to stretch and relax. The point is that,
if I do it, they do as well.
Then there is the issue of emotional spaces.
My father was a man of extremes who, unfortunately, gave in to the ones
that shortened his life. He knew how to exercise, eat well and relax
(he had been an Olympic athlete) and he was a man of many skills that
could have kept himself busy after retiring. His depression exacerbated
personality traits that made it difficult for anybody to help him. The
bottom line is that, as a man who had lived a full life he made his
choices. We as parents can only hope to create an environment in which
our kids get the best of what they need to reach old age. For all my
father's shortcomings, I learned a lot about the mind and body
connection from him. He taught my brother and I a lot about how he as
an athlete 'read' his body and how he learned how to translate athletic
endurance into other aspects of life. That's why seeing crippled by
aneurisms and dementia was more painful than the knowledge that his
spirit is free.
I had a lot of battles with him because I felt that with some of his
actions he was walking away from a home built with love and trust not
only for but with my mother, my brother and I. It took me years to
understand that as he aged and made one choice after another, a lot of
it was influenced by his dramatically deteriorating mental health. It
took some heavy dose of medical inquiry, personal growth and compassion
from my part to understand all of that. I just wished I had a better
understanding of all of this 7 years ago. Unfortunately, not even his
doctors understood what was going on. My a-ha! moment came after
reading AGING WITH GRACE, which came out in 2000.
Now that I have kids and think of motherhood as a creative process and
not just a survival instinct, I cannot help but believe that my kids
will too have their battles with me one day. What I hope to have that
is different from my parents is a personal, emotional and spiritual
place that my children and I can recognize as a common ground for love.
That, regardless of our physical, emotional or psychological state,
there is a place where we can all meet and bask in the glow.
TV, treats (we have no junk food at home, just treats), computers,
games, they are all really inconsequential. The question is, what are
we all doing now to blaze a path of love with our parenting? How are we
living the future now?
Best,
Liza
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> My personal experience has been that limiting something makes it veryNo, it probably means that you also have to limit yourself to the use
> special and desired.
of the TV, computer even the freaking toilet because you live in a very
small apartment and everybody has to take turns. When I read about
these issue I can just envision you all in a space that, even in the
smallest of houses, is probably 3 times the size of living space we
have --and I don't even want to think of other peoples spaces here in
NYC who think ours is big! Size does matter ...
These past two weeks brought this space issue really well. My father
died and I literally had to leave the apartment so that I could cry in
peace. It's not that my kids did not see me cry but that, there is a
certain place I go when I grieve where I just have to be left alone
--being around other people actually does not calm me at all. Now I
understand the concept of cathedrals --they have nooks and crannies in
which you can just sit, even hide, cry a little, calm down and even
meditate in lieu of praying.
I have been thinking a lot about spaces and their purposes. Places like
bedrooms, kitchens, hospitals, morgues, funeral homes, cemeteries,
birthing rooms, restaurants and fast food joints. I am not an expert in
Feng Shui but I get the overall premise --that your environment affects
how you behave.
What I get from a lot of these posts (which seem to come in cycles) is
that these issues of limiting or not limiting activity do not have so
much with the activity itself but the kind of energy it generates and
how that affects the living environment. When I took my computer out of
my bedroom, not only I could sleep better but I started to write more.
The energy in the room felt better. We put my old computer in the kids
bedroom and now they rarely use it (we have to rearrange the old dining
room area once again to make space for it).
That said, even if we moved to a house (which wont be happening anytime
soon) I think I would still keep the overall arrangement we have here:
A room full of gadgetry (computers and TV included), a play room and
then the rest. I feel that each room or section of the living space
should be assigned to certain activities so that you can have high and
low energy spaces to go to. And make it a point to take a few moments
during the day to stop, breathe, do a little relaxation and if possible
meditation. Even if it happens once a week. My kids take breaks when
they see me take a break. When I stretch and do a little of yoga in
front of them (can't do a whole routine around my little one for fear
of him inuring me!) they want to stretch and relax. The point is that,
if I do it, they do as well.
Then there is the issue of emotional spaces.
My father was a man of extremes who, unfortunately, gave in to the ones
that shortened his life. He knew how to exercise, eat well and relax
(he had been an Olympic athlete) and he was a man of many skills that
could have kept himself busy after retiring. His depression exacerbated
personality traits that made it difficult for anybody to help him. The
bottom line is that, as a man who had lived a full life he made his
choices. We as parents can only hope to create an environment in which
our kids get the best of what they need to reach old age. For all my
father's shortcomings, I learned a lot about the mind and body
connection from him. He taught my brother and I a lot about how he as
an athlete 'read' his body and how he learned how to translate athletic
endurance into other aspects of life. That's why seeing crippled by
aneurisms and dementia was more painful than the knowledge that his
spirit is free.
I had a lot of battles with him because I felt that with some of his
actions he was walking away from a home built with love and trust not
only for but with my mother, my brother and I. It took me years to
understand that as he aged and made one choice after another, a lot of
it was influenced by his dramatically deteriorating mental health. It
took some heavy dose of medical inquiry, personal growth and compassion
from my part to understand all of that. I just wished I had a better
understanding of all of this 7 years ago. Unfortunately, not even his
doctors understood what was going on. My a-ha! moment came after
reading AGING WITH GRACE, which came out in 2000.
Now that I have kids and think of motherhood as a creative process and
not just a survival instinct, I cannot help but believe that my kids
will too have their battles with me one day. What I hope to have that
is different from my parents is a personal, emotional and spiritual
place that my children and I can recognize as a common ground for love.
That, regardless of our physical, emotional or psychological state,
there is a place where we can all meet and bask in the glow.
TV, treats (we have no junk food at home, just treats), computers,
games, they are all really inconsequential. The question is, what are
we all doing now to blaze a path of love with our parenting? How are we
living the future now?
Best,
Liza
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Have a Nice Day!
Size does matter ...
These past two weeks brought this space issue really well. My father
died and I literally had to leave the apartment so that I could cry in
peace.
I agree with you on the space issue.
Someone else posted here that when they moved to a larger space, that things were better. I think that thread was about siblings and fighting, can't remember.
Anyway, we have a relatively small home. We're in the process of renovating the garage to make a 4th bedroom so that each of us has a place to go.
I know my husband needs lots of space, so he is either outside (in the summer) or he is in the basement (in the winter) working on things or relaxing in front of the tv.
I tend to use the bathroom (in the tub) for my space.
Kristen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
These past two weeks brought this space issue really well. My father
died and I literally had to leave the apartment so that I could cry in
peace.
I agree with you on the space issue.
Someone else posted here that when they moved to a larger space, that things were better. I think that thread was about siblings and fighting, can't remember.
Anyway, we have a relatively small home. We're in the process of renovating the garage to make a 4th bedroom so that each of us has a place to go.
I know my husband needs lots of space, so he is either outside (in the summer) or he is in the basement (in the winter) working on things or relaxing in front of the tv.
I tend to use the bathroom (in the tub) for my space.
Kristen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 2/14/03 11:43:18 AM, liza@... writes:
<< My father was a man of extremes who, unfortunately, gave in to the ones
that shortened his life. He knew how to exercise, eat well and relax
(he had been an Olympic athlete) and he was a man of many skills that
could have kept himself busy after retiring. His depression exacerbated
personality traits that made it difficult for anybody to help him. >>
Sorry to hear about your dad's death, Lisa.
<<He taught my brother and I a lot about how he as
an athlete 'read' his body and how he learned how to translate athletic
endurance into other aspects of life. >>
What sport was he involved in in the Olympics? Did he stay involved,
coaching or teaching later?
-=-Now that I have kids and think of motherhood as a creative process and
not just a survival instinct, I cannot help but believe that my kids
will too have their battles with me one day. What I hope to have that
is different from my parents is a personal, emotional and spiritual
place that my children and I can recognize as a common ground for love.
That, regardless of our physical, emotional or psychological state,
there is a place where we can all meet and bask in the glow.
-=-
That's really beautiful.
Sandra
<< My father was a man of extremes who, unfortunately, gave in to the ones
that shortened his life. He knew how to exercise, eat well and relax
(he had been an Olympic athlete) and he was a man of many skills that
could have kept himself busy after retiring. His depression exacerbated
personality traits that made it difficult for anybody to help him. >>
Sorry to hear about your dad's death, Lisa.
<<He taught my brother and I a lot about how he as
an athlete 'read' his body and how he learned how to translate athletic
endurance into other aspects of life. >>
What sport was he involved in in the Olympics? Did he stay involved,
coaching or teaching later?
-=-Now that I have kids and think of motherhood as a creative process and
not just a survival instinct, I cannot help but believe that my kids
will too have their battles with me one day. What I hope to have that
is different from my parents is a personal, emotional and spiritual
place that my children and I can recognize as a common ground for love.
That, regardless of our physical, emotional or psychological state,
there is a place where we can all meet and bask in the glow.
-=-
That's really beautiful.
Sandra
Betsy
**I have been thinking a lot about spaces and their purposes. Places
like
bedrooms, kitchens, hospitals, morgues, funeral homes, cemeteries,
birthing rooms, restaurants and fast food joints. I am not an expert in
Feng Shui but I get the overall premise --that your environment affects
how you behave.**
There's a book called A Pattern Language that has some interesting
observations about designing rooms, houses, streets, and towns to suit
people's fundamental needs. It was pretty cool.
(Grace Llewellyn used to sell it through her catalog, but it's an
expensive book and I tracked it down through the library.)
Betsy
like
bedrooms, kitchens, hospitals, morgues, funeral homes, cemeteries,
birthing rooms, restaurants and fast food joints. I am not an expert in
Feng Shui but I get the overall premise --that your environment affects
how you behave.**
There's a book called A Pattern Language that has some interesting
observations about designing rooms, houses, streets, and towns to suit
people's fundamental needs. It was pretty cool.
(Grace Llewellyn used to sell it through her catalog, but it's an
expensive book and I tracked it down through the library.)
Betsy
Liza Sabater
Hi Sandra,
On Friday, February 14, 2003, at 03:50 PM, SandraDodd@... wrote:
>
> In a message dated 2/14/03 11:43:18 AM, liza@... writes:
>
> << My father was a man of extremes who, unfortunately, gave in to the
> ones
> that shortened his life. He knew how to exercise, eat well and relax
> (he had been an Olympic athlete) and he was a man of many skills that
> could have kept himself busy after retiring. His depression exacerbated
> personality traits that made it difficult for anybody to help him. >>
>
> Sorry to hear about your dad's death, Lisa.
Thanks. I am actually relieved but it is still a big change.
> <<He taught my brother and I a lot about how he as
> an athlete 'read' his body and how he learned how to translate athletic
> endurance into other aspects of life. >>
>
> What sport was he involved in in the Olympics? Did he stay involved,
> coaching or teaching later?
Julio Sabater, my father, was the first Olympic hurdle jumper to
represent
Puerto Rico in the Olympics. He was part of the first delegation sent to
London in 1948. He is actually in the history books.
> -=-Now that I have kids and think of motherhood as a creative process
> and
> not just a survival instinct, I cannot help but believe that my kids
> will too have their battles with me one day. What I hope to have that
> is different from my parents is a personal, emotional and spiritual
> place that my children and I can recognize as a common ground for love.
> That, regardless of our physical, emotional or psychological state,
> there is a place where we can all meet and bask in the glow.
> -=-
>
> That's really beautiful.
Thanks Sandra.
Best,
Liza
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Liza Sabater
I world'school' more than anything else and make it a point to just go
out, out out, This winter, tough, has been brutal with artic winds
blasting through the "canyon" of buildings that make up lower
Manhattan. It's so cold that I can't feel my fingers through my gloves.
Cabin fever has not let up since November --ack!
Liza
out, out out, This winter, tough, has been brutal with artic winds
blasting through the "canyon" of buildings that make up lower
Manhattan. It's so cold that I can't feel my fingers through my gloves.
Cabin fever has not let up since November --ack!
Liza
On Friday, February 14, 2003, at 01:58 PM, Have a Nice Day! wrote:
> I agree with you on the space issue.
>
> Someone else posted here that when they moved to a larger space, that
> things were better. I think that thread was about siblings and
> fighting, can't remember.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
coyote's corner
Dang!! Can I relate! We live up the street from Narragansett Bay. The wind
whips up the bay and BANG!!!
Talk about wearing layers!
Usually I can handle it. We have a mail order business and Ive been trying
to get the courage to go out to the post office for three days!!
The wind has been terrible!!
This morning it was 1 degree w/o the wind chill.
Believe me, I wish us warmth!!
Janis
-----Original Message-----
From: Liza Sabater [mailto:liza@...]
Sent: Friday, February 14, 2003 8:33 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] TV and junk food
I world'school' more than anything else and make it a point to just go
out, out out, This winter, tough, has been brutal with artic winds
blasting through the "canyon" of buildings that make up lower
Manhattan. It's so cold that I can't feel my fingers through my gloves.
Cabin fever has not let up since November --ack!
Liza
whips up the bay and BANG!!!
Talk about wearing layers!
Usually I can handle it. We have a mail order business and Ive been trying
to get the courage to go out to the post office for three days!!
The wind has been terrible!!
This morning it was 1 degree w/o the wind chill.
Believe me, I wish us warmth!!
Janis
-----Original Message-----
From: Liza Sabater [mailto:liza@...]
Sent: Friday, February 14, 2003 8:33 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] TV and junk food
I world'school' more than anything else and make it a point to just go
out, out out, This winter, tough, has been brutal with artic winds
blasting through the "canyon" of buildings that make up lower
Manhattan. It's so cold that I can't feel my fingers through my gloves.
Cabin fever has not let up since November --ack!
Liza
On Friday, February 14, 2003, at 01:58 PM, Have a Nice Day! wrote:
> I agree with you on the space issue.
>
> Someone else posted here that when they moved to a larger space, that
> things were better. I think that thread was about siblings and
> fighting, can't remember.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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coyote's corner
So he was a man of courage and conviction. Good for him.
Bless him.
Janis
-----Original Message-----
From: Liza Sabater [mailto:liza@...]
Sent: Friday, February 14, 2003 8:25 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] TV and junk food
Hi Sandra,
Bless him.
Janis
-----Original Message-----
From: Liza Sabater [mailto:liza@...]
Sent: Friday, February 14, 2003 8:25 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] TV and junk food
Hi Sandra,
On Friday, February 14, 2003, at 03:50 PM, SandraDodd@... wrote:
>
> In a message dated 2/14/03 11:43:18 AM, liza@... writes:
>
> << My father was a man of extremes who, unfortunately, gave in to the
> ones
> that shortened his life. He knew how to exercise, eat well and relax
> (he had been an Olympic athlete) and he was a man of many skills that
> could have kept himself busy after retiring. His depression exacerbated
> personality traits that made it difficult for anybody to help him. >>
>
> Sorry to hear about your dad's death, Lisa.
Thanks. I am actually relieved but it is still a big change.
> <<He taught my brother and I a lot about how he as
> an athlete 'read' his body and how he learned how to translate athletic
> endurance into other aspects of life. >>
>
> What sport was he involved in in the Olympics? Did he stay involved,
> coaching or teaching later?
Julio Sabater, my father, was the first Olympic hurdle jumper to
represent
Puerto Rico in the Olympics. He was part of the first delegation sent to
London in 1948. He is actually in the history books.
> -=-Now that I have kids and think of motherhood as a creative process
> and
> not just a survival instinct, I cannot help but believe that my kids
> will too have their battles with me one day. What I hope to have that
> is different from my parents is a personal, emotional and spiritual
> place that my children and I can recognize as a common ground for love.
> That, regardless of our physical, emotional or psychological state,
> there is a place where we can all meet and bask in the glow.
> -=-
>
> That's really beautiful.
Thanks Sandra.
Best,
Liza
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the
moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner,
Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an
email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service
<http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> .
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]