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I feel like I am pulled in many directions lately. I have an 18 year old
who has been feeling very depressed. She is on med's and refuses
counseling. She is determined to get a highschool diploma. Nothing else
that has been offered suits her. I am supporting her wishes and watching
her struggle. I went in to her 504 meeting with her, that turned out to
not be a 504 meeting because the principle thought it wasn't one. This
principle told my daughter that there weren't any funds to help her -
that she (principle) has to go beg for money for the school. They always
say that by the way... We do have a strong ally who is assisting my
daughter. Without this person - who is constantly overstressed, having
migranes, running to the nurses office, and calling her support people -
my daughter would not be getting a diploma from public school. The
principle mentioned something like "we can't have kids making up their
own schooling." My daughter had a suggestion on how she could best be
taught. I really "couldn't hold it" any longer and uttered "heaven
forbid a child would have something to do with deciding how they are
educated." It didn't go over very well.
I feel very frustrated because this daughter has been feeling suicidal -
school knows and she is getting help - has been on a 504 for depression
for atleast 3 years, etc. School is about money, I know...
I wanted to come home and bathe in unschooling territory. For some
reason the older kids now 20 and 21 keep pestering me about "teaching."
I feel obligated to explain to them once again what is happening as far
as unteaching their younger siblings goes. My 21 year old was very upset
about thinking the 12 year old should be writing essays to prepare for
college. I get so frustrated I don't know what to say. I told her that
if the 12 year old decides to go to a school/college he will be ready
because it will be his choice, he will be prepared, etc. She then
screamed at me. She said I don't know how to talk to people. I mentioned
the fact that he is 12 and has a while to decide about any form of
higher education he chooses. She said that is not enough structure. I
tried to explain that she is correct. There isn't a lot of structure in
the way I am unteaching. I write down everything they do - which is alot
- every day. I personally think they are learning more than ever
especially my now 15 year old who has been labeled dyslexic and bipolar.
They are right though, it doesn't look anything like public school and I
for one am very grateful for that. Michele



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tia Leschke

> I wanted to come home and bathe in unschooling territory. For some
> reason the older kids now 20 and 21 keep pestering me about "teaching."
> I feel obligated to explain to them once again what is happening as far
> as unteaching their younger siblings goes. My 21 year old was very upset
> about thinking the 12 year old should be writing essays to prepare for
> college. I get so frustrated I don't know what to say. I told her that
> if the 12 year old decides to go to a school/college he will be ready
> because it will be his choice, he will be prepared, etc. She then
> screamed at me. She said I don't know how to talk to people. I mentioned
> the fact that he is 12 and has a while to decide about any form of
> higher education he chooses. She said that is not enough structure. I
> tried to explain that she is correct. There isn't a lot of structure in
> the way I am unteaching. I write down everything they do - which is alot
> - every day. I personally think they are learning more than ever
> especially my now 15 year old who has been labeled dyslexic and bipolar.
> They are right though, it doesn't look anything like public school and I
> for one am very grateful for that. Michele

Are these older kids half-siblings? Did they go to school? I'm wondering
if they're really jealous without realizing it. They could be covering up
their jealousy by focusing on their "concerns". You can tell them why
you're doing things the way you are with the younger ones, but you may just
have to pull the, "I'm the parent. When you have kids you can raise them
the way you think is best. I wish I had unschooled you as well, but we
can't change the past." Or something along those lines.
Tia

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In a message dated 2/13/03 7:04:46 AM, michele-nappi@... writes:

<< I have an 18 year old who has been feeling very depressed. She is on med's
and refuses
counseling. >>

Meds without counselling won't help much.

Maybe find a way for her to try two or three different counsellors to see if
she clicks with someone.

< She is determined to get a highschool diploma. Nothing else
that has been offered suits her. >>

Can she just take a few college courses so on applications she can mark "some
college" instead of "high school" as highest level of education?

She can just bypass the whole high school thing.

Sandra

Tia Leschke

>
> Can she just take a few college courses so on applications she can mark
"some
> college" instead of "high school" as highest level of education?
>
> She can just bypass the whole high school thing.

That's what I did. Admittedly I haven't worked a whole lot outside the
home, but I've never been asked whether I actually graduated from high
school when I put down 2 years college.
Tia