Unschooling works ESPECIALLY for special needs kids
Anne Ohman
It is an incorrect assumption to make a blanket statement saying that
high-maintenance kids do need external structure. My son is 12 and has
never been *schooled* a day in his life.
I don't want to say that he's high functioning autism because I don't see
him as that...but he would probably have that label if he were in school..
or even if I were to force schoolwork on him at home.
But he isn't and I don't.
He's free.
He's free to be completely Who He Is. He's celebrated for his Spirit. His
gifts are our focus, not his limitations.
Because he's free, he is able to SHINE the way he is meant to shine. He is
able to learn real-life math concepts through real life.
You can't unschool except for math...unschooling is not just what you're
DOING...it's what you're NOT doing. With unschooling, you're NOT damaging
your child's definition of learning. It's a joyful, natural, wonderful part
of life. It's not something to be forced. It's something to be discovered,
through following your passions.
*** Where Raymond is able to count how many toothpicks fell on the floor,
but a candy bar is, "About a hundred dollars." That's my son. 8 means the
same to him as 800.
Now, if he has 800 Lego blocks in front of him, and another pile with 8 Lego
blocks, he can grasp the concept that it's bigger than the other and by how
much.
So I do use Math-U-See with him.***
Why not continue to use REAL life, instead of Math-U-See. Use
Math-Is-Everywhere...called LIFE!! My son has a wonderful grasp of numbers
because he's never seen them as something that should be intimidated. He
never saw them as something he would be quizzed about. He finds answers to
his questions because he has a need and a desire to do so.
Perhaps he doesn't CARE how much a candy bar costs right now. But he will
care how much something costs when he's saving his money for it. Let real
life teach what the children want/need to learn.
***Some of us are raising various sorts of high-maintenance kids, and
they sometimes do need external structure because they aren't always
(and some of them never!) able to provide it for themselves.***
Why do they need to provide structure for themselves? What they need to do
is to learn how to listen to their own internal structure, their own heart.
They don't learn what to do with someone constantly telling them. They
learn from KNOWING what to do because they've been given the opportunity of
listening to their own rhythm, their own heart, and following that to live
their life.
What a gift.
***Some
kids need to be held and redirected in order to read an entire book
(or page).***
Why does the child NEED to read an entire book (or page)? What is the child
being made to read that he doesn't WANT to read it?
My son has a corner of our living room filled with his books. He can be
found with his nose in them throughout most of the day. Why does he love to
read? Because he gets to read about that which he LOVES. He's never been
told he HAS to read anything. He's been told to trust himself, trust what
his heart is telling him, and go with that.
He is currently reading two novels, a reference book on mythological
monsters, a book on working with wildlife, a bird atlas, Garfield comic
books, and a book on ancient Egypt.
All his choice. All because he is free to follow his own heart.
***Some kids need lists of things to do to keep them from
obsessing on a single topic from waking to sleep.***
Believe me...I know of what you speak! But take that obsession and USE it.
Follow it. It's what they LOVE.
Monsters are my child's *thing.* If I tried to distract him AWAY from that,
I can't imagine what his world would be like.
Instead, I trusted that he knows what's in his heart...he knows what he
LOVES. So we talk about the monsters (neopets characters, pokemon, his own
monster characters that he draws). He draws them. he writes stories about
them.
And because he's allowed to get his fill of his obsession, he's also able to
LET IT GO. He's able to expand his world and move onto other things BECAUSE
he's been *allowed* to obsess...not only allowed, but encouraged and
celebrated for his visions.
***Some kids need to
be taught, step by step, year after year, how to make the simplest
decisions.***
Taught? How?
Every time I get out of the car with my son, I know I have to tell him to be
aware of the cars coming. I know his mind is on other things. It's just
something I do. I don't shame him, I don't tell him over and over that this
is something that HE needs to learn. It's something that I have to do..
because I am his mother, his protector at this point in his life.
Because he is not shamed nor made to feel that he has SO much to learn about
the real world, he is learning. Joyfully. Happily. Confidently. He is
proud of Who He Is. He's never known any other way to be.
***Anyone with an autistic child, for example, knows that radical
unschooling isn't an option.***
This is wrong to say and it is just not true.
Radical unschooling is the ONLY option to save these children's lives.
If you don't think so, then you don't really know what radical unschooling
is about. It's not about leaving them alone...it's hard work to unschool my
special needs child.
***Sure,
unschooling is a goal. But fact is, folks, that not all of us are
gonna get there.***
Why not? You could get there right now...today. Go read the message boards
at www.unschooling.com ~ read the special needs folders.
***Unschooling mail lists give me the willies. I've got them set
for "nomail", so I don't accidentially open some letter of
condemnation, where somebody gets trounced, politely or otherwise,
for not doing it "the right way". I'm sure I miss a lot of tips and
ideas that I might be able to incorporate into my family's ways of
living and learning. But some days I'm just too stressed to have any
tolerance toward the fanatical preachers of the Absolute Revealed
Truth of unschooling.***
So why are you striving for unschooling then? If you don't want to read
about how it WORKS?? Because it works...but only if you don't damage your
child's definition of LEARNING. Any damage done needs to be un-done...
Unschooling works ESPECIALLY for special needs kids.
If anyone wants a copy of my article that Ren referred to, please e-mail me
and I'll send it to you.
Be Well ~
Anne Ohman
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
high-maintenance kids do need external structure. My son is 12 and has
never been *schooled* a day in his life.
I don't want to say that he's high functioning autism because I don't see
him as that...but he would probably have that label if he were in school..
or even if I were to force schoolwork on him at home.
But he isn't and I don't.
He's free.
He's free to be completely Who He Is. He's celebrated for his Spirit. His
gifts are our focus, not his limitations.
Because he's free, he is able to SHINE the way he is meant to shine. He is
able to learn real-life math concepts through real life.
You can't unschool except for math...unschooling is not just what you're
DOING...it's what you're NOT doing. With unschooling, you're NOT damaging
your child's definition of learning. It's a joyful, natural, wonderful part
of life. It's not something to be forced. It's something to be discovered,
through following your passions.
*** Where Raymond is able to count how many toothpicks fell on the floor,
but a candy bar is, "About a hundred dollars." That's my son. 8 means the
same to him as 800.
Now, if he has 800 Lego blocks in front of him, and another pile with 8 Lego
blocks, he can grasp the concept that it's bigger than the other and by how
much.
So I do use Math-U-See with him.***
Why not continue to use REAL life, instead of Math-U-See. Use
Math-Is-Everywhere...called LIFE!! My son has a wonderful grasp of numbers
because he's never seen them as something that should be intimidated. He
never saw them as something he would be quizzed about. He finds answers to
his questions because he has a need and a desire to do so.
Perhaps he doesn't CARE how much a candy bar costs right now. But he will
care how much something costs when he's saving his money for it. Let real
life teach what the children want/need to learn.
***Some of us are raising various sorts of high-maintenance kids, and
they sometimes do need external structure because they aren't always
(and some of them never!) able to provide it for themselves.***
Why do they need to provide structure for themselves? What they need to do
is to learn how to listen to their own internal structure, their own heart.
They don't learn what to do with someone constantly telling them. They
learn from KNOWING what to do because they've been given the opportunity of
listening to their own rhythm, their own heart, and following that to live
their life.
What a gift.
***Some
kids need to be held and redirected in order to read an entire book
(or page).***
Why does the child NEED to read an entire book (or page)? What is the child
being made to read that he doesn't WANT to read it?
My son has a corner of our living room filled with his books. He can be
found with his nose in them throughout most of the day. Why does he love to
read? Because he gets to read about that which he LOVES. He's never been
told he HAS to read anything. He's been told to trust himself, trust what
his heart is telling him, and go with that.
He is currently reading two novels, a reference book on mythological
monsters, a book on working with wildlife, a bird atlas, Garfield comic
books, and a book on ancient Egypt.
All his choice. All because he is free to follow his own heart.
***Some kids need lists of things to do to keep them from
obsessing on a single topic from waking to sleep.***
Believe me...I know of what you speak! But take that obsession and USE it.
Follow it. It's what they LOVE.
Monsters are my child's *thing.* If I tried to distract him AWAY from that,
I can't imagine what his world would be like.
Instead, I trusted that he knows what's in his heart...he knows what he
LOVES. So we talk about the monsters (neopets characters, pokemon, his own
monster characters that he draws). He draws them. he writes stories about
them.
And because he's allowed to get his fill of his obsession, he's also able to
LET IT GO. He's able to expand his world and move onto other things BECAUSE
he's been *allowed* to obsess...not only allowed, but encouraged and
celebrated for his visions.
***Some kids need to
be taught, step by step, year after year, how to make the simplest
decisions.***
Taught? How?
Every time I get out of the car with my son, I know I have to tell him to be
aware of the cars coming. I know his mind is on other things. It's just
something I do. I don't shame him, I don't tell him over and over that this
is something that HE needs to learn. It's something that I have to do..
because I am his mother, his protector at this point in his life.
Because he is not shamed nor made to feel that he has SO much to learn about
the real world, he is learning. Joyfully. Happily. Confidently. He is
proud of Who He Is. He's never known any other way to be.
***Anyone with an autistic child, for example, knows that radical
unschooling isn't an option.***
This is wrong to say and it is just not true.
Radical unschooling is the ONLY option to save these children's lives.
If you don't think so, then you don't really know what radical unschooling
is about. It's not about leaving them alone...it's hard work to unschool my
special needs child.
***Sure,
unschooling is a goal. But fact is, folks, that not all of us are
gonna get there.***
Why not? You could get there right now...today. Go read the message boards
at www.unschooling.com ~ read the special needs folders.
***Unschooling mail lists give me the willies. I've got them set
for "nomail", so I don't accidentially open some letter of
condemnation, where somebody gets trounced, politely or otherwise,
for not doing it "the right way". I'm sure I miss a lot of tips and
ideas that I might be able to incorporate into my family's ways of
living and learning. But some days I'm just too stressed to have any
tolerance toward the fanatical preachers of the Absolute Revealed
Truth of unschooling.***
So why are you striving for unschooling then? If you don't want to read
about how it WORKS?? Because it works...but only if you don't damage your
child's definition of LEARNING. Any damage done needs to be un-done...
Unschooling works ESPECIALLY for special needs kids.
If anyone wants a copy of my article that Ren referred to, please e-mail me
and I'll send it to you.
Be Well ~
Anne Ohman
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]