Re: Shy kids
Pam Hartley
----------
a shy adult. :) I'd expect they'd do better when engaged in an activity they
really like and are interested in (i.e, talking to other kids about dance at
dance class, about a scout project they're working on in scouts, etc.)
Now, that may bring up the next problem of them finding things they are
interested in :) but that can be allowed to develop over time.
I have a daughter who is not precisely shy, but she isn't much for
conversation (with notable exceptions at times <g>) and is definitely a
homebody. This isn't a bad trait, it's just a little different. A quieter
person doesn't need to be "cured" unless they really want help with becoming
more actively social.
If they do want help with this, you might try inviting a family
(homeschooling or otherwise) with nice kids to your house for an afternoon
-- it's probably easier on your kids to show the new ones their toys, their
yard, their cat... than to try to compete with the whole new park and all
the families attending.
Pam
>From: [email protected]A park day is pretty hard going for a shyer kid -- kind of like a party for
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 3022
>Date: Tue, Feb 11, 2003, 6:25 PM
>
> Anyway, I'd like some feedback on how the philosophy of unschooling
> plays in with socialization issues. How much do I push them to try
> new things? Do I let them set their own pace, even when they say
> they want more friends but won't initiate anything?
> I don't encounter too many other shy kids, and really never see
> anything written about this in homeschool journals. Anyone have any
> ideas or experiences to share?
a shy adult. :) I'd expect they'd do better when engaged in an activity they
really like and are interested in (i.e, talking to other kids about dance at
dance class, about a scout project they're working on in scouts, etc.)
Now, that may bring up the next problem of them finding things they are
interested in :) but that can be allowed to develop over time.
I have a daughter who is not precisely shy, but she isn't much for
conversation (with notable exceptions at times <g>) and is definitely a
homebody. This isn't a bad trait, it's just a little different. A quieter
person doesn't need to be "cured" unless they really want help with becoming
more actively social.
If they do want help with this, you might try inviting a family
(homeschooling or otherwise) with nice kids to your house for an afternoon
-- it's probably easier on your kids to show the new ones their toys, their
yard, their cat... than to try to compete with the whole new park and all
the families attending.
Pam
joanne comito
--- Pam Hartley <pamhartley@...> wrote:
does work well but it hasn't seemed to help them reach
out. I guess I worry that they get left out because
so much of the bonding (esp at my 11 year old's age)
happens now at group gatherings. Since she tends to
shut down, not give those social cues in groups that
encourage friendship, she ends up not really being
part of groups where she knows the kids. For
instance, she took dance class last year with 7 other
girls that she's known for years, but she kind of
faded into the woodwork, and so didn't get invited
over after class etc etc. Then she thinks they don't
like her and it becomes this negative feedback loop.
I'm trying to just model friendly behavior, keep my
comments encouraging, but I spend a lot of time
worrying about this. Unschooling would seem to say
that I need to let her set the pace, but I'm afraid
that out of fear, she won't do things that she'd like
to.
Joanne
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>Yes, and we have certainly done this a lot, and it
> If they do want help with this, you might try
> inviting a family
> (homeschooling or otherwise) with nice kids to your
> house for an afternoon
> -- it's probably easier on your kids to show the new
> ones their toys, their
> yard, their cat... than to try to compete with the
> whole new park and all
> the families attending.
>
does work well but it hasn't seemed to help them reach
out. I guess I worry that they get left out because
so much of the bonding (esp at my 11 year old's age)
happens now at group gatherings. Since she tends to
shut down, not give those social cues in groups that
encourage friendship, she ends up not really being
part of groups where she knows the kids. For
instance, she took dance class last year with 7 other
girls that she's known for years, but she kind of
faded into the woodwork, and so didn't get invited
over after class etc etc. Then she thinks they don't
like her and it becomes this negative feedback loop.
I'm trying to just model friendly behavior, keep my
comments encouraging, but I spend a lot of time
worrying about this. Unschooling would seem to say
that I need to let her set the pace, but I'm afraid
that out of fear, she won't do things that she'd like
to.
Joanne
>__________________________________________________
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Yahoo! Shopping - Send Flowers for Valentine's Day
http://shopping.yahoo.com
Tia Leschke
> Yes, and we have certainly done this a lot, and itOne thing I noticed when my daughter was like this (she went to school) was
> does work well but it hasn't seemed to help them reach
> out. I guess I worry that they get left out because
> so much of the bonding (esp at my 11 year old's age)
> happens now at group gatherings. Since she tends to
> shut down, not give those social cues in groups that
> encourage friendship, she ends up not really being
> part of groups where she knows the kids. For
> instance, she took dance class last year with 7 other
> girls that she's known for years, but she kind of
> faded into the woodwork, and so didn't get invited
> over after class etc etc. Then she thinks they don't
> like her and it becomes this negative feedback loop.
that her nervousness and shyness were causing her to frown a lot. I pointed
out to her that the other kids might think she was a snob or didn't like
them, rather than the truth, that she was shy and nervous. That did help
some, but I don't know if that's happening with your girl.
Tia