What about money?
nellebelle
I'd like some ideas about how families decide what to buy and not buy for
the kids, specifically the little things. When you go to the grocery store
do you just say yes to everything the kids ask for? I imagine that the
majority of folks on this list are on some kind of budget and have to make
decisions about where to spend the family income. I don't buy everything
*I* want, because the money just isn't there.
How does unschooling tie in with a family budget?
Mary Ellen
A parent causing her children to receive Home-based Education, (this is the
legal definition in Washington), who is intrigued by the possibility of the
nirvana of unschooling and wishes to learn more! :-)
the kids, specifically the little things. When you go to the grocery store
do you just say yes to everything the kids ask for? I imagine that the
majority of folks on this list are on some kind of budget and have to make
decisions about where to spend the family income. I don't buy everything
*I* want, because the money just isn't there.
How does unschooling tie in with a family budget?
Mary Ellen
A parent causing her children to receive Home-based Education, (this is the
legal definition in Washington), who is intrigued by the possibility of the
nirvana of unschooling and wishes to learn more! :-)
Mary Bianco
>From: "nellebelle" <nellebelle@...><<I'd like some ideas about how families decide what to buy and not buy for
the kids, specifically the little things. When you go to the grocery store
do you just say yes to everything the kids ask for? I imagine that the
majority of folks on this list are on some kind of budget and have to make
decisions about where to spend the family income. I don't buy everything
*I* want, because the money just isn't there.
How does unschooling tie in with a family budget?>>
Well I actually don't find this a problem. Grocery shopping with the kids
usually has me buying more than I went for, but it all gets eaten. There are
plenty of times when I ask them if they want something and they say no. I
really don't have a problem with them asking for things we can't afford.
Maybe it's because of all the years of us having no restrictions on them,
them having their own money to buy what they want with it. We talk about
money and what it takes to run a household. Not to the point where they need
to worry, but enough where they understand what it takes and where money
goes. Some kids just don't get that you have to pay to live in a house and
have lights and all!!! Maybe because of all this, they don't ask for things
not possible for us. And I do believe the way they were brought up makes a
difference too. As much as I have thought that what they asked for in the
past would not be as great as they thought, we would get it anyway. Then
they would find out for themselves about good choices. After one or two
disappointing choices, they would think more about it next time. And that
goes with my 17 year old too. She has had a car sitting in the driveway for
the past 4 months that she hasn't been able to drive. We are all working on
getting it worthy of being on the road. She hasn't said a word. We all just
keep saving for that day!
Mary B
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Fetteroll
on 2/10/03 11:27 PM, nellebelle at nellebelle@... wrote:
kids will want lots of things. It's like being let loose in a candy store
with $1000 ;-) But once they realize they can have anything they want, they
don't want just for the sake of being able to have it. They just ask for
what they want.
It helps to make sure they're well fed before you go grocery shopping. Which
is good advice for adults too! :-)
them each have x amount to spend. And rather than make it arbitrary, if
they're interested perhaps some would like to help set up the household
budget so they can see where all the money goes.
Joyce
> When you go to the grocery storeWhen there are controls on food and then you let go of the controls, the
> do you just say yes to everything the kids ask for?
kids will want lots of things. It's like being let loose in a candy store
with $1000 ;-) But once they realize they can have anything they want, they
don't want just for the sake of being able to have it. They just ask for
what they want.
It helps to make sure they're well fed before you go grocery shopping. Which
is good advice for adults too! :-)
> I imagine that theIf the money is really really tight, what about a budget for them too? Let
> majority of folks on this list are on some kind of budget and have to make
> decisions about where to spend the family income.
them each have x amount to spend. And rather than make it arbitrary, if
they're interested perhaps some would like to help set up the household
budget so they can see where all the money goes.
Joyce
[email protected]
In a message dated 2/10/03 11:29:14 PM Eastern Standard Time,
nellebelle@... writes:
money on anything and not have the money for things they really wanted. So
we changed.
What works for us now is that we sit down as a family and do the bills.
Sometimes the boys are interested in this part and sometimes not and they get
to use the calculator. We then talk about other bills that we need to set
money aside for and vacations that we already have in the mix. We figure out
about how much money we will need and how much we can put into savings for
that (like the live and learn conference). Then when all is said and done we
talk about things we want to do and buy. Like a trip to the zoo or another
gaming piece that Dallen wants or a computer game Phillip wants, also house
things like building a deck etc. Figure out about how much money we have for
these things and if it will be doable to get the computer game this pay day
or wait until next. Or set aside a little money for the deck but not start
it this month. It has worked great for us and I think the boys understand
better about budget and they buy things they really want and have put some
thought into.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
nellebelle@... writes:
> >>How does unschooling tie in with a family budget?<<We used to do allowance, but we found that the boys (8 and 5) would spend
money on anything and not have the money for things they really wanted. So
we changed.
What works for us now is that we sit down as a family and do the bills.
Sometimes the boys are interested in this part and sometimes not and they get
to use the calculator. We then talk about other bills that we need to set
money aside for and vacations that we already have in the mix. We figure out
about how much money we will need and how much we can put into savings for
that (like the live and learn conference). Then when all is said and done we
talk about things we want to do and buy. Like a trip to the zoo or another
gaming piece that Dallen wants or a computer game Phillip wants, also house
things like building a deck etc. Figure out about how much money we have for
these things and if it will be doable to get the computer game this pay day
or wait until next. Or set aside a little money for the deck but not start
it this month. It has worked great for us and I think the boys understand
better about budget and they buy things they really want and have put some
thought into.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
nellebelle
----- snip-----> Maybe it's because of all the years of us having no
restrictions on them>>>>>>>
Sigh, I wish I'd known more of these ideas before the kids were born. I
feel like I'm starting all over again! It reminds me of how I decided to
breastfed my first child "for the nutrition" and over time it led to a
lifestyle and relationship that is about so much more than food. I realize
that up to this point, I've been focusing on unschooling as a method of
education. I've never been an overly controlling parent, but I realize that
I have been more controlling than I really thought I was. It's also
complicated by dh having only me telling him new ideas, while I have all of
you for ideas, examples, and support. I find time to read the books, but he
doesn't. He is changing too, but still believes that children do need
parents to tell them how much candy to eat, or things like that.
My kids usually do shop with me, so they have long seen and heard and even
helped with the decision making that goes into choosing what to buy. At the
store last weekend, they asked for all kinds of just those things that, up
until recently, have been limited in some way. They also ate lots of that
stuff over the next couple of days. Then I told them that I wouldn't be
buying more Popsicles that week, so they needed to decide if they were going
to eat them all right away or make them last until the next shopping trip.
That was so dumb of me. I would never say that about cheese or bread or
apples. I sure do have a long way to go...
Mary Ellen
restrictions on them>>>>>>>
Sigh, I wish I'd known more of these ideas before the kids were born. I
feel like I'm starting all over again! It reminds me of how I decided to
breastfed my first child "for the nutrition" and over time it led to a
lifestyle and relationship that is about so much more than food. I realize
that up to this point, I've been focusing on unschooling as a method of
education. I've never been an overly controlling parent, but I realize that
I have been more controlling than I really thought I was. It's also
complicated by dh having only me telling him new ideas, while I have all of
you for ideas, examples, and support. I find time to read the books, but he
doesn't. He is changing too, but still believes that children do need
parents to tell them how much candy to eat, or things like that.
My kids usually do shop with me, so they have long seen and heard and even
helped with the decision making that goes into choosing what to buy. At the
store last weekend, they asked for all kinds of just those things that, up
until recently, have been limited in some way. They also ate lots of that
stuff over the next couple of days. Then I told them that I wouldn't be
buying more Popsicles that week, so they needed to decide if they were going
to eat them all right away or make them last until the next shopping trip.
That was so dumb of me. I would never say that about cheese or bread or
apples. I sure do have a long way to go...
Mary Ellen
the_clevengers <[email protected]>
--- In [email protected], "nellebelle"
<nellebelle@c...> wrote:
they want something they can buy it with their own money. My son is
pretty good about saving up for things that he wants. If he wants
something bigger, we have a discussion about whether or not we can
chip in more money towards the bigger item (depending on how much we
have at the time). Since DH owns his own business, and the amount of
money we get in each month is variable (sometimes by a little,
sometimes by a lot - the weeks after 9/11 when general aviation shut
down, for instance, we had *no* income because we depend on
aviation). So the answer to any question about whether something can
be bought, or whether we can go on a trip, or whatever may be
different at different times. We've tried to explain this to the kids
and also go over our household expenses so that they know what our
money goes toward.
My son has also been really great about thinking up ways he can earn
his own money. Last year he grew plants from seeds and from cuttings
and propagation from our garden. Then a few times during the summer,
he went to a friend's garage sale and set up his own plant sale. He
made his own signs, and hawked his wares like a trooper, going out
into the groups of people and saying things like "You look like you
could use a plant!" or "Did you know if you buy one of my perennials,
you'll have flowers every year!" Who could resist? I think his total
for the summer was $48, not bad for a (then) 5 year old. This year he
has bigger plans. He wants to sell some of the compost worms, and he
wants to start more plants from seeds. I told him I'd front him the
money for seeds and help him keep the books so he can see how much he
makes in profit, and how much his expenses were. Last year he kept
track of which plants sold more than others, and as he did subsequent
sales, he concentrated more on growing the better-selling plants. I
have to admit, I'm pretty impressed with his natural business acumen!
One book that a friend let me borrow was "Rich Kid, Smart Kid" by
Robert Kiyosaki. While it's not an unschooling book, there's some
good info in there in helping kids learn about money in real life
ways that will benefit them in the future. I like Rich Dad's approach
to many things (though it's definitely a "take what works" type of
book. The author spends a whole lot of time telling us what's wrong
with the way schools teach kids, and how therefore it's up to us to
help them outside of school. It always amazes me that even very smart
people don't see that the school component of that equation is simply
unnecessary! But I digress... he's very big on kids learning in real
life ways, and that helped me think about ways in which I could help
my kids pursue their own ventures.
Blue Skies,
-Robin-
<nellebelle@c...> wrote:
> How does unschooling tie in with a family budget?Our kids each have their own money from the family budget, and if
they want something they can buy it with their own money. My son is
pretty good about saving up for things that he wants. If he wants
something bigger, we have a discussion about whether or not we can
chip in more money towards the bigger item (depending on how much we
have at the time). Since DH owns his own business, and the amount of
money we get in each month is variable (sometimes by a little,
sometimes by a lot - the weeks after 9/11 when general aviation shut
down, for instance, we had *no* income because we depend on
aviation). So the answer to any question about whether something can
be bought, or whether we can go on a trip, or whatever may be
different at different times. We've tried to explain this to the kids
and also go over our household expenses so that they know what our
money goes toward.
My son has also been really great about thinking up ways he can earn
his own money. Last year he grew plants from seeds and from cuttings
and propagation from our garden. Then a few times during the summer,
he went to a friend's garage sale and set up his own plant sale. He
made his own signs, and hawked his wares like a trooper, going out
into the groups of people and saying things like "You look like you
could use a plant!" or "Did you know if you buy one of my perennials,
you'll have flowers every year!" Who could resist? I think his total
for the summer was $48, not bad for a (then) 5 year old. This year he
has bigger plans. He wants to sell some of the compost worms, and he
wants to start more plants from seeds. I told him I'd front him the
money for seeds and help him keep the books so he can see how much he
makes in profit, and how much his expenses were. Last year he kept
track of which plants sold more than others, and as he did subsequent
sales, he concentrated more on growing the better-selling plants. I
have to admit, I'm pretty impressed with his natural business acumen!
One book that a friend let me borrow was "Rich Kid, Smart Kid" by
Robert Kiyosaki. While it's not an unschooling book, there's some
good info in there in helping kids learn about money in real life
ways that will benefit them in the future. I like Rich Dad's approach
to many things (though it's definitely a "take what works" type of
book. The author spends a whole lot of time telling us what's wrong
with the way schools teach kids, and how therefore it's up to us to
help them outside of school. It always amazes me that even very smart
people don't see that the school component of that equation is simply
unnecessary! But I digress... he's very big on kids learning in real
life ways, and that helped me think about ways in which I could help
my kids pursue their own ventures.
Blue Skies,
-Robin-
Betsy
**This year he
has bigger plans. He wants to sell some of the compost worms, and he
wants to start more plants from seeds. I told him I'd front him the
money for seeds and help him keep the books so he can see how much he
makes in profit, and how much his expenses were.**
Would he be interested in learning about seed saving (for non hybridized
plants)? That could cut his costs in the future.
Betsy
has bigger plans. He wants to sell some of the compost worms, and he
wants to start more plants from seeds. I told him I'd front him the
money for seeds and help him keep the books so he can see how much he
makes in profit, and how much his expenses were.**
Would he be interested in learning about seed saving (for non hybridized
plants)? That could cut his costs in the future.
Betsy
[email protected]
In a message dated 2/11/03 5:08:27 AM, fetteroll@... writes:
<< > When you go to the grocery store
be good for everybody, I'll consider it over one of my own ideas, because I
get bored and boring with food.
Because we've let them pick food since they were little, more often than not
they don't want anything.
Yesterday I needed dill seed for some bread, and a bag of sugar. Most of our
food comes from CostCo lately, but I hate giant bags of sugar, so we were
going to the nearest little grocery store. Holly wanted to go to see if they
had Bagel Bites, some frozen little pizza-like-things. They did, but they
didn't have the pepperoni and cheese kind she likes. I asked if she wanted
anything else. No. Fruit or vegetables? Corn on the cob? No.
So we left with sugar and dill seed.
Sandra
<< > When you go to the grocery store
> do you just say yes to everything the kids ask for? >>I'll let them pick something. And if they request something else that would
be good for everybody, I'll consider it over one of my own ideas, because I
get bored and boring with food.
Because we've let them pick food since they were little, more often than not
they don't want anything.
Yesterday I needed dill seed for some bread, and a bag of sugar. Most of our
food comes from CostCo lately, but I hate giant bags of sugar, so we were
going to the nearest little grocery store. Holly wanted to go to see if they
had Bagel Bites, some frozen little pizza-like-things. They did, but they
didn't have the pepperoni and cheese kind she likes. I asked if she wanted
anything else. No. Fruit or vegetables? Corn on the cob? No.
So we left with sugar and dill seed.
Sandra
Pam Sorooshian
On Tuesday, February 11, 2003, at 10:11 AM, SandraDodd@... wrote:
Because we've let them pick whatever since they were little, more often
than not they are willing to accept it on those occasions when we truly
can't let them pick.
Pam Sorooshian
The National Home Education Network
~The World is Our Classroom~
www.NHEN.org
> Because we've let them pick food since they were little, more oftenA slight rewording and this applies to all aspects of life with kids.
> than not
> they don't want anything.
Because we've let them pick whatever since they were little, more often
than not they are willing to accept it on those occasions when we truly
can't let them pick.
Pam Sorooshian
The National Home Education Network
~The World is Our Classroom~
www.NHEN.org