finding interest in what interests your kids
Lee Roversi
Hi again!
I changed this subject line, because I think this might deserve more
discussion.
A example of how this evolves . . .
My son, Bay, at age 12 is not even remotely interested in anything
resembling school. He is unlike his siblings in that they both (at now 16dd
Nell & 19ds Sky) get involved in things I find interesting . . . languages,
drama, reading, writing, etc. Bay wants and needs to be moving and working
outside and when he is not, he is likely to be wanting computer or TV. Now
I view this as a healthy balance, but it took me a while to get there
(another story on a parent deschooling in a different way!)
Anyway, Bay, quite on his own, discovered the wild, noisy, exciting world
of dirtbiking. And, over the course of time, decided that he wanted to do
this more than anything. He started to express interest in owning his own
bike. Now, dirtbikes are expensive and I could not plop down $2000+ for one
for him, nor did I want another line of credit. Did Bay let this stand in
his way? Nope. He started saving his money - from his mowing jobs here on
our farm and our neighbors place. When that was not enough, he got his dad
to hire him to work on the house his dad was building for himself. Lo and
behold, it took Bay over a year to save up and buy his very own shiny,
spiffy new red 100cc dirtbike. Now, along the way in this process I had
choices . . . I could rain on his parade and say that it was too expensive,
too dangerous, I wasn't taking him to the track, too noisy to ride here,
blahblahblah. But, I did not. I saw the light in his eyes. I saw him devour
dirtbike magazines when we would go to Borders. I saw his enthusiasm. It
was a very beautiful thing. People ask me how I could support this - it's
dangerous, it's so noisy and dirty there, how can I stand to go - etc. I
can only answer that in a million years it isn't where I thought I would be
at 53 years old . . . spending my Saturday or Sunday at the dirtbike track
watching my 12 year old zoom at excessive speeds around a track, jumping
with wild abandon. Nor did I think that I would be called from the gardens
while planting vegetable starts to crawl under the dirtbike and help him
find the gasoline line to drain the tank, or hold wrenches for him while he
tightens spokes. For me, helping Sky edit a mythical fantasy story he is
writing or helping Nell learn her lines for her latest dramatic endeavors -
that was 'easy'. This adventure with Bay has been a stretch for me. And,
you know what? - it is good for me to stretch. This young man has taught me
more about unschooling than anyone on the planet. . . and more about
trusting than anyone, too.
Aloha, Lee
NORTH COUNTRY FARMS
An Organic Family Farm & Tropical B&B Cottages
An Eco-Tourism Destination
P.O. Box 723
Kilauea, Kauai, HI 96754
808-828-1513 phone & voice mail
http://www.northcountryfarms.com
I changed this subject line, because I think this might deserve more
discussion.
A example of how this evolves . . .
My son, Bay, at age 12 is not even remotely interested in anything
resembling school. He is unlike his siblings in that they both (at now 16dd
Nell & 19ds Sky) get involved in things I find interesting . . . languages,
drama, reading, writing, etc. Bay wants and needs to be moving and working
outside and when he is not, he is likely to be wanting computer or TV. Now
I view this as a healthy balance, but it took me a while to get there
(another story on a parent deschooling in a different way!)
Anyway, Bay, quite on his own, discovered the wild, noisy, exciting world
of dirtbiking. And, over the course of time, decided that he wanted to do
this more than anything. He started to express interest in owning his own
bike. Now, dirtbikes are expensive and I could not plop down $2000+ for one
for him, nor did I want another line of credit. Did Bay let this stand in
his way? Nope. He started saving his money - from his mowing jobs here on
our farm and our neighbors place. When that was not enough, he got his dad
to hire him to work on the house his dad was building for himself. Lo and
behold, it took Bay over a year to save up and buy his very own shiny,
spiffy new red 100cc dirtbike. Now, along the way in this process I had
choices . . . I could rain on his parade and say that it was too expensive,
too dangerous, I wasn't taking him to the track, too noisy to ride here,
blahblahblah. But, I did not. I saw the light in his eyes. I saw him devour
dirtbike magazines when we would go to Borders. I saw his enthusiasm. It
was a very beautiful thing. People ask me how I could support this - it's
dangerous, it's so noisy and dirty there, how can I stand to go - etc. I
can only answer that in a million years it isn't where I thought I would be
at 53 years old . . . spending my Saturday or Sunday at the dirtbike track
watching my 12 year old zoom at excessive speeds around a track, jumping
with wild abandon. Nor did I think that I would be called from the gardens
while planting vegetable starts to crawl under the dirtbike and help him
find the gasoline line to drain the tank, or hold wrenches for him while he
tightens spokes. For me, helping Sky edit a mythical fantasy story he is
writing or helping Nell learn her lines for her latest dramatic endeavors -
that was 'easy'. This adventure with Bay has been a stretch for me. And,
you know what? - it is good for me to stretch. This young man has taught me
more about unschooling than anyone on the planet. . . and more about
trusting than anyone, too.
Aloha, Lee
NORTH COUNTRY FARMS
An Organic Family Farm & Tropical B&B Cottages
An Eco-Tourism Destination
P.O. Box 723
Kilauea, Kauai, HI 96754
808-828-1513 phone & voice mail
http://www.northcountryfarms.com
Mary Bianco
>From: Lee Roversi <ncfarms@...><<This adventure with Bay has been a stretch for me. And,
you know what? - it is good for me to stretch. This young man has taught me
more about unschooling than anyone on the planet. . . and more about
trusting than anyone, too.>>
Thanks for the story, I loved it!!
Mary B
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Tia Leschke
> Anyway, Bay, quite on his own, discovered the wild, noisy, exciting worldsnip
> of dirtbiking.
For me, helping Sky edit a mythical fantasy story he is
> writing or helping Nell learn her lines for her latest dramaticendeavors -
> that was 'easy'. This adventure with Bay has been a stretch for me. And,me
> you know what? - it is good for me to stretch. This young man has taught
> more about unschooling than anyone on the planet. . . and more aboutHey Lee, your son sounds so much like my youngest. Lars is into mountain
> trusting than anyone, too.
biking, you know where they hurtle down trails laced with jumps and ramps
that go way up and then teeter-totter down the other side, stuff where they
can get pretty badly hurt. He spends a lot of hours up on the hill building
trails and ramps and jumps.
He's also into sports, which I'm not. You couldn't pay me to watch
professional baseball, but I love watching my son's team. He seems to need
that same mix of moving and working outside interspersed with TV and
computer. He paid for his bikes by working for his dad too.
And he has also taught me a lot about trusting. I haven't succeeded in
trusting him all through his growing up, but I'm getting better at it all
the time. And I too appreciate the stretching I've had to do.
Tia