Christine Kuglen

Thank you Sandra, Angela and Kristen for your help, information and empathy regarding our issue with fighting. I hope I didn't make my kids out to be overly abusive, they aren't, just a impulsive in an agressive way. This list, though overwhelming at times, has been so helpful to get me to confront what I model for my children. I have always considered myself an attachment parenting, warm, loving mother(which I am) but I don't think I ever noticed the subtle ways that I would show my impatience and frustrations. This list has somehow illuminated some important things that I can now change...and the truth shall set you free!!!

The funny thing is that I originally joined with some basic questions about my 10 ds. We have always homeschooled and from the beginning he wouldn't accept instruction of any kind. I listened to him and backed off though now and again I would borrow something and try it on him always to be rejected. So here I have an incredibly creative, open minded, intelligent and busy 10 year old who is extremely nonacademic. He loves being read to and we read a lot(even with the difficulties of 3 younger siblings). But he is a non reader, non writer, has difficulty with numbers past 20, can't count money and can barely tell time. This is difficult for me. He says he wants to read but won't try. What does this mean? I have tried to share some different ways he could learn how: trying to read books alone, doing some kind of program to learn some basic rules etc. What should I do at this point? He is a perfectionist and I think that gets in the way. He doesn't want to start with "baby" books but he can't just pick up Harry Potter and read it even though it has been read to him number of times. Do I wait for him to show interest in adding and subtracting? Will he? Do I just let him do whatever and not learn to add, multiply, read on his own? Any ideas?

Thanks again. -Christine


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In a message dated 2/5/03 12:18:24 AM, wanderfree@... writes:

<< He says he wants to read but won't try. What does this mean? >>

Means he's not ready.

<< He is a perfectionist and I think that gets in the way. He doesn't want to
start with "baby" books but he can't just pick up Harry Potter and read it
even though it has been read to him number of times. >>

What about magazines with lots of captions, not mostly text.

I don't know his interests, but video gaming magazines? Games Magazine? MAD?

Money (allowance, or send him on errands if you're near a store?), games like
rummy, poker (if he's interested) involving scoring, counting... Do you
have Five Crowns? It's a very cool game. And if you don't advertise it as
math, but just as a game, the scoring's lots of math, and the strategy
eventually is too.

Sandra

Andrea

At 09:28 AM 2/5/03 +0000, Christine wrote:
>He loves being read to and we read a lot(even with the difficulties of 3
>younger siblings). But he is a non reader, non writer, has difficulty with
>numbers past 20, can't count money and can barely tell time. This is
>difficult for me. He says he wants to read but won't try. What does this mean?

I think he is not ready to read yet. When he feels it is necessary he will
do it. If he loves the stories eventually he will realize that he needs to
learn to read them on his own before he moves out of the house :-) If it
helps, I know several unschooled kids who were similar and did read on
their own later.

My oldest loved the Tintin books and Calvin and Hobbes before he was ready
for few- or no- picture books. My middle son (Eric) is almost eight and
much quicker at numbers/math than my ten-year-old (William), but at seven
William would read long books on his own, while Eric will read almost no
books on his own.

Then you wrote:
>So here I have an incredibly creative, open minded, intelligent and busy
>10 year old who is extremely nonacademic.

So isn't he lucky to have a mum who has allowed him the freedom to grow at
his own pace?

Donna Andrea in Nova Scotia

Marjorie Kirk

> << He is a perfectionist and I think that gets in the way. He doesn't want
to
> start with "baby" books but he can't just pick up Harry Potter and read it
> even though it has been read to him number of times. >>
>
My son started reading by reading Pokemon Cards. He already knew what they
said, so it was pretty much a matter of matching up the words he knew with
what they looked like. I used to try to get him to read out loud to me, but
it was a huge battle. A while after I gave up he discovered Calvin and
Hobbs and Sherman's Lagoon comic books. He followed me around the house for
hours while I was cleaning or cooking and read to me! They also brought up
a lot of interesting subjects for discussion; aliens, reality T.V., who is
Martha Stewart? what is Zen? etc.

Another idea is that if he has younger siblings, you could ask him to read
"baby" books to them. It's good practice for him, but the book is for the
baby, so it's not embarassing for him.

YMMV,
Marjorie

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In a message dated 2/5/2003 8:16:34 AM Eastern Standard Time,
mkirk@... writes:

My son started reading by reading Pokemon Cards. He already knew what they
> said, so it was pretty much a matter of matching up the words he knew with
> what they looked like.

I think that's what was so good about reading the bible many years ago.
First, it was one of the few books ANYone owned. But also most folks had
already memorized LONG passages, and when they "matched up the words they
knew with what they looked like", they could then READ. After so much
"matching", it made sense.

~Kelly


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In a message dated 2/5/03 8:00:15 AM !!!First Boot!!!, SandraDodd@...
writes:


> << He is a perfectionist and I think that gets in the way. He doesn't want
> to
> start with "baby" books but he can't just pick up Harry Potter and read it
> even though it has been read to him number of times. >>
>
>

Sounds exactly like my son! He began reading at age 8 when he discovered how
much easier his video games were when he could read the clues! He also spent
and spends a lot of time reading comics - particularly the old Superman
comics (his uncle shares his collection)!

When he finds something he wants to read, he'll read! Trust me - I didn't
believe it either but he's living proof! ;)

Beth Allen


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On Wed, 5 Feb 2003 02:58:48 EST SandraDodd@... writes:
> Money (allowance, or send him on errands if you're near a store?),
> games like rummy, poker (if he's interested) involving scoring,
counting...
> Do you have Five Crowns? It's a very cool game. And if you don't
> advertise it as math, but just as a game, the scoring's lots of math,
and the
> strategy eventually is too.

We are big into games in our house. DD learns tons of math playing
Monopoly, Yatzee, and a card game called War. We don't have Five Crowns.
What kind of game is it?
Wende

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Betsy

**He is a perfectionist and I
think that gets in the way. He doesn't want to start with "baby" books
but he can't just pick
up Harry Potter and read it even though it has been read to him number
of times.**

My son, and other boys that I have heard of, liked to read cartoon books
long before they were ready to read big chapter books like Harry Potter.


Foxtrot is pretty funny and has snarky sibling interaction. Garfield
was also popular here, but it may seem too juvenile to your son. Calvin
and Hobbes is great, but I wouldn't start there as it uses sophisticated
vocabulary and might be frustrating.

Betsy

Samantha M. Stopple

> Foxtrot is pretty funny and has snarky sibling interaction. Garfield
> was also popular here, but it may seem too juvenile to your son.
> Calvin
> and Hobbes is great, but I wouldn't start there as it uses
> sophisticated
> vocabulary and might be frustrating.

Are you cautioning against reading Calvin and Hobbes if a kids is
reading it on his own? and a new reader?

I have been reading Calvin and Hobbes to my 7 and 4 year old and they
are both enjoying it.

The 4 yo loves the space man spiff stuff and 7 yo asks about why does
he have to go to school.

Why does his mom always wake him up in the morning etc.

I think Calvin and Hobbes is great unschooling propaganda. (hee hee)


Samantha

Betsy

**I think Calvin and Hobbes is great unschooling propaganda. (hee hee)**

Hi, Samantha --

I agree, I actually love it. I just wasn't sure it was the right place
for a reluctant reader to dive in (or to be pushed in.)

And I think I forgot to advise against "pushing".

Betsy

Blaine

Thank you for the website! I ordered a few of the card games listed. My family enjoys playing card games.
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, February 05, 2003 4:50 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] thank you and another question



In a message dated 2/5/03 9:43:38 AM, love-it-here@... writes:

<< We don't have Five Crowns.
What kind of game is it? >>

Self-contained card game.

It's really good.

http://www.setgame.com/company/productfivecrowns.htm

http://www.setgame.com/fivecrowns/article1.htm

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