ed hodgins

----- Original Message -----
From: "ed hodgins" <ed.hodgins@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, January 30, 2003 9:30 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Thank You All!!!


>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: <HappyMato2@...>
> To: <[email protected]>
> Sent: Thursday, January 30, 2003 4:33 PM
> Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Thank You All!!!
>
>
> > I just wanted to thank everyone for their answers to all of my posts. I
> > believe that unschooling is the best way to live. I've been changing
how
> I
> > relate to my children, not that I was a mean and nasty mom, but I talk
to
> > them in a way that makes them on my level, and not treated like the
child.
> > My children are very close in age (13 months apart), and are very close
to
> > each other. I've seen how they treated each other in the past, which
> mimiced
> > how I treated them, and I didn't like it. My children need to show lots
> of
> > love and respect for each other and they can learn that from me.
> >
> > I don't think I've ever introduced myself. I just started butting in on
> the
> > converstations. My name is Patti. I have a girl named Natalie and a
boy
> > named Nicholas. I decided when my daughter was about 2 that I was going
> to
> > homeschool my children. My husband immediately loved the idea. I
started
> > reading a lot about homeschooling and went to my first conference last
> > summer. I knew I wasn't going to be a "traditional" homeschooler
because
> the
> > main reason why I wanted to homeschool was, and is, because children
learn
> > best if they direct their own learning. The thought of using
curriculums,
> > tests, worksheets, etc. and have a set schedule to have my children
learn
> was
> > never going to be an option, unless my children love that way of
learning.
> > When deciding to homeschool, I realized that I was going to have to let
> some
> > things go in order for the family to love each other, respect each
other,
> get
> > a long, and live together. I've never been one who dictated what my
> children
> > can and cannot do in regards to playing. I'm used to the HUGE messes
and
> > most of the time it doesn't bother me. When I started reading about
> > unschooling, it made me want to learn more about it and talk to families
> who
> > live this way. I liked what I heard and decided I want to be an
> unschooler.
> > This board has explained it, and has taught me a lot about families and
> how
> > they should be. I've already noticed a change in how we relate to each
> > other, although it's more difficult to help my daughter and son relate
to
> > each other in a respectful manner because they get so mad at each other.
> I
> > think in time they'll learn to communicate with each other without
> yelling,
> > taking things away from each other, and hitting.
> >
> > Thanks again for all your help!!!
> >
> > Patti
> >
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
> >
> > ~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
> >
> > If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email
> the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list
owner,
> Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
> >
> > To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address
an
> email to:
> > [email protected]
> >
> > Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
> >
> > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to
http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
> >
> >
> >Thanks my name is Dawna my son is 20 mths and daughter 32 mths 14 mths
> apart. He was 2 mths premie. I am intrested in unschooling and looking for
> more info. She is very bright. Hiding things she doesn't want me to take
> away or books that need to be returned to the Library. She knows her
> alphabet and counts to ten. knows shapes and colors. 1+1=2. She tries to
> hide what she knows from me. ? is this normal!! One for u one for me is 2.
> (oops) She is telling me the shapes of things. Cant keep her occupied.
> Her brother and her get along great. She is encouraging him to talk and
> walk but the fight only for my attention. Any advice on how to stop this?
> What can I do to occupie them ?
> What advice can you give me on raising children so close in age. How do I
> make her feel like a big girl?
>
>
>
> ~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
>
> If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email
the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner,
Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an
email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
> Thank u for ur reply! Jolene is 2 1/2 and Eddie is 23 mths. 14 mths apart
! Eddie to mths premie wouldnt know it now though. Big for his age! Little
slow at walking but talkin up a storm. Starting use sentences of 5 wrds
already.Has very fine motor skills and is very textile.

My attitude has changed a bit too. I am starting to enjoy them a bit more
now reading stories and a lot of art they both love finger paint and art
work.

I was wondering if there was an age you started at or was it more of gradual
thing? Go on what they want? I am thinkin the less structure and the more
fun you can make learning the better. Maybe a little more structure when the
reach 6 or 7. Am I on the right track.

Gerard Westenberg

How do I
> make her feel like a big girl?
>

Don't! :-) Just treat her as she is, where she is at - go with her interests..Two of my sons are 14 months apart - sometimes they did lots together so I spent time with them together; sometimes they just have separate interests and needs and I have tried to respond to these...Leonie W.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

ed hodgins

----- Original Message -----
From: "Gerard Westenberg" <westen@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Friday, January 31, 2003 10:22 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Thank You All!!!Age when to start ?
Structure


> How do I
> > make her feel like a big girl?
> >
>
> Don't! :-) Just treat her as she is, where she is at - go with her
interests..Two of my sons are 14 months apart - sometimes they did lots
together so I spent time with them together; sometimes they just have
separate interests and needs and I have tried to respond to these...Leonie
W.
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> ~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
>
> If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email
the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner,
Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an
email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
> thanks! So just let her pretend she doesnt know at wait for her to slip
and show me she does?

Gerard Westenberg

> thanks! So just let her pretend she doesnt know at wait for her to slip
and show me she does?<<<

Don't even worry about it... Kids ( and adults) don't necessarily like presure ( implied or not) - pressure to show what they do or do not know....My kids know about lots of things, I am sure, of which I am not aware... - every now and then something comes up and I see they can help someone else with an answer. I guess I am not thinking about how much they do or don't know - just am spending time with them and trusting that they learn and grow...Leonie W.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Fetteroll

(BTW, it would help *muchly* for people read your posts if you don't quote
the whole post. Just highlight a sentence or two that you want to respond to
and click reply. And, if your mail program doesn't put a carriage return,
make sure you hit the carriage return so the first line of your response
doesn't look like part of the quote.)

on 1/31/03 9:25 PM, ed hodgins at ed.hodgins@... wrote:

> My attitude has changed a bit too. I am starting to enjoy them a bit more
> now reading stories and a lot of art they both love finger paint and art
> work.

I think it helps a lot to try to see what the world looks like through their
eyes.

> I was wondering if there was an age you started at or was it more of gradual
> thing? Go on what they want? I am thinkin the less structure and the more
> fun you can make learning the better.

If they are following their interests, we don't need to "make" learning fun.
It already is. Think about the things you enjoy most. Does anyone need to
come in and make it fun for you in order for you to learn about them?

> Maybe a little more structure when the reach 6 or 7. Am I on the right track.

Depends what your goals are. If you want them to acquire a standard body of
knowledge then that way might work. But we can't help you with that since it
isn't the goal of the people wanting unschooling.

If you want them to learn from life then imposing structure will interfere.

> How do you start? How do you find what there intrests are?

By listening to them. By not filtering what they are interested in through
schoolish eyes. For instance, a beloved cartoon is just as valuable *to the
child* as an interest that resembles something taught in school. It's we
adults who tend to focus on the interests society says are important. To
nurture who the child is and who she is growing into, we need to honor what
interests *her*, not what she's "supposed" to be interested in or what it's
"good" to be interested in.

> I keep
> gathering books on things my daughter is intrested, puzzles, and art
> supplies. She is 2 and will be 3 in may. She counts to ten, abc's, shapes
> colors, loves art airplanes and vehicle bugs, all the normal things. Lately
> though she wants plants and things instead of toys. I find this a little
> strange. However I did buy the plant! Flowers are great and she helps water
> the plants now.

*Don't* think it's strange. Think it's uniquely her! :-) Would you prefer
your child to be "normal," that is like some cookie-cutter standard?

*Celebrate* the things she enjoys. See the world through her eyes. Why
*should* a child be more interested in ABC's than plants?

But at 2 I wouldn't worry too much about what her interests are. Certainly
buy her plants and point out VW Bugs and whatever she enjoys, but don't
worry that you need to feed her interests right. She doesn't have the
capacity to "learn" as we think of older kids learning. It's more
experiential and just absorbing things. (I know my daughter absorbed stuff
about dinosaurs spongelike starting at about 18 mos.)

What they *need* at 2 is you. They need to know they are loved and that you
love spending time with them. Their interests, really, are a distant second
to that.

> So just let her pretend she doesnt know at wait for her to slip
> and show me she does?

I'm not totally sure what you're asking, but I'll go on a guess.

Why do you need feedback on what she knows? I'm not asking that to be
snarky. It's something to think about. What motivates you to need to know?
How do you feel when you don't know?

What kind of things are you thinking you need to pretend she doesn't know?
What will you do if she "slips" and reveals that she does know something?

(I think I need specific examples.)

Joyce

the_clevengers <[email protected]>

--- In [email protected], "ed hodgins"
<ed.hodgins@s...> wrote:
> I was wondering if there was an age you started at or was it more
of gradual
> thing? Go on what they want? I am thinkin the less structure and
the more
> fun you can make learning the better. Maybe a little more structure
when the
> reach 6 or 7. Am I on the right track.


Kids will let you know if they need/want structure to learn any
specific thing, and you can give them any assistance they ask for in
finding that structure. My son is very interested in
engineering/architecture/creating and building thing, his uncle is a
great mentor for him since he was also that way as a child and now is
a civil engineer. They have lots of long discussions about this sort
of thing. Kids can be very good at finding mentors for subjects
they're interested in, however it is the rare adult who will take the
time to talk seriously to a child of 6. I'm glad that my BIL is one
of those people. My son often talks about the things he wants to
learn so that he can get to the place where he can design complex
structures. He's very interested in creating Rube Goldberg-like
contraptions, building things with real tools, etc.

In any case, my son often asks me to buy him workbooks, like those
math ones they sell at the drugstore. He will work through them for a
week or two, then not pick them up for weeks, then do some more work
in them. I've noticed that he goes back and self-corrects his old
work when he's advanced to the point that he can see his mistakes.
That's interesting to me since I've never corrected his work, and
he's never seen work corrected or graded in any way. He just does
that himself because he wants to know whether things are right. He
also asked for a set of cuisinaire rods (little wood or plastic rods
of different lengths that you can use for comparitive math), but
mostly he uses them to build towers. That's fine. These are some ways
that he has sought out structure in his learning. In other areas he
doesn't look for structure, but in some ways he does.

Unschooling to me just means giving my assistance when my kids ask me
for it. If they ask me to buy a workbook or sign them up for piano
lessons, I'll do so. If they don't, I don't. I'll tell them about
things that are out there that they might be interested in. I drive
them to places like the library or homeschool group activities or
field trips if they want to go to them. We read through the weekly
calendar for our town and circle things we want to do. I'm basically
the driver and helper, and of course I follow my own interests as
well.

Structure may come, but it's not imposed from me.

Blue Skies,
-Robin-

ed hodgins

----- Original Message -----
From: <diamondair@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Saturday, February 01, 2003 10:52 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Thank You All!!!Age when to start ?
Structure


> --- In [email protected], "ed hodgins"
> <ed.hodgins@s...> wrote:
> > I was wondering if there was an age you started at or was it more
> of gradual
> > thing? Go on what they want? I am thinkin the less structure and
> the more
> > fun you can make learning the better. Maybe a little more structure
> when the
> > reach 6 or 7. Am I on the right track.
>
>
> Kids will let you know if they need/want structure to learn any
> specific thing, and you can give them any assistance they ask for in
> finding that structure. My son is very interested in
> engineering/architecture/creating and building thing, his uncle is a
> great mentor for him since he was also that way as a child and now is
> a civil engineer. They have lots of long discussions about this sort
> of thing. Kids can be very good at finding mentors for subjects
> they're interested in, however it is the rare adult who will take the
> time to talk seriously to a child of 6. I'm glad that my BIL is one
> of those people. My son often talks about the things he wants to
> learn so that he can get to the place where he can design complex
> structures. He's very interested in creating Rube Goldberg-like
> contraptions, building things with real tools, etc.
>
> In any case, my son often asks me to buy him workbooks, like those
> math ones they sell at the drugstore. He will work through them for a
> week or two, then not pick them up for weeks, then do some more work
> in them. I've noticed that he goes back and self-corrects his old
> work when he's advanced to the point that he can see his mistakes.
> That's interesting to me since I've never corrected his work, and
> he's never seen work corrected or graded in any way. He just does
> that himself because he wants to know whether things are right. He
> also asked for a set of cuisinaire rods (little wood or plastic rods
> of different lengths that you can use for comparitive math), but
> mostly he uses them to build towers. That's fine. These are some ways
> that he has sought out structure in his learning. In other areas he
> doesn't look for structure, but in some ways he does.
>
> Unschooling to me just means giving my assistance when my kids ask me
> for it. If they ask me to buy a workbook or sign them up for piano
> lessons, I'll do so. If they don't, I don't. I'll tell them about
> things that are out there that they might be interested in. I drive
> them to places like the library or homeschool group activities or
> field trips if they want to go to them. We read through the weekly
> calendar for our town and circle things we want to do. I'm basically
> the driver and helper, and of course I follow my own interests as
> well.
>
> Structure may come, but it's not imposed from me.
>
> Blue Skies,
> -Robin-
>
>
> ~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
>
> If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email
the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner,
Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an
email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
> thank u