how to include my son
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/31/03 9:12:45 AM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
<< Do I keep getting these movies and just watch them with who will watch,
leaving him out? Hoping he'll come and join.
is obviously not at the point where your suggestions are seen as anything but
trying to get him to do something.
So stop.
Watch what HE likes. Get into his world...it's the only way he will feel
understood and start to trust that your intentions are not about manipulating
him.
And the proper answer for "do I HAVE to watch this." is "OF course not, I
just thought you might like it." and honestly get movies HE might like. Not
ones you think he "should" watch.
He will get nothing from something he isn't interested in anyway.
None of my kids like El Cid. Should they?
There is no reason that the movies he likes aren't just as valid as the ones
you do.
He is getting something from them and it's your job to be in his world and
learn from him too. :)
Hard as that may be sometimes......
it was the best thing anyone ever told me when I was fretting about my boys
obsession with tv/video games.
Trust is built through the action of being in their world, and until there is
trust, your suggestions will not be met with any level of enthusiasm.
Ren
"The sun is shining--the sun is shining. That is the magic. The flowers are
growing--the roots are stirring. That is the magic. Being alive is the
magic--being strong is the magic The magic is in me--the magic is in
me....It's in every one of us."
----Frances Hodgson
Burnett
[email protected] writes:
<< Do I keep getting these movies and just watch them with who will watch,
leaving him out? Hoping he'll come and join.
>>You're setting yourself up for friction between you and him. The relationship
is obviously not at the point where your suggestions are seen as anything but
trying to get him to do something.
So stop.
Watch what HE likes. Get into his world...it's the only way he will feel
understood and start to trust that your intentions are not about manipulating
him.
And the proper answer for "do I HAVE to watch this." is "OF course not, I
just thought you might like it." and honestly get movies HE might like. Not
ones you think he "should" watch.
He will get nothing from something he isn't interested in anyway.
None of my kids like El Cid. Should they?
There is no reason that the movies he likes aren't just as valid as the ones
you do.
He is getting something from them and it's your job to be in his world and
learn from him too. :)
Hard as that may be sometimes......
it was the best thing anyone ever told me when I was fretting about my boys
obsession with tv/video games.
Trust is built through the action of being in their world, and until there is
trust, your suggestions will not be met with any level of enthusiasm.
Ren
"The sun is shining--the sun is shining. That is the magic. The flowers are
growing--the roots are stirring. That is the magic. Being alive is the
magic--being strong is the magic The magic is in me--the magic is in
me....It's in every one of us."
----Frances Hodgson
Burnett
Kelli Traaseth
I probably just need to lay off. I feel like with him on the PS2 so much that maybe he would like to watch a movie with me or the rest of the family. But that might not be what he likes.
He'd probably rather play games with us, so I'll leave it up to him.
Thanks,
Kelli
starsuncloud@... wrote:In a message dated 1/31/03 9:12:45 AM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
<< Do I keep getting these movies and just watch them with who will watch,
leaving him out? Hoping he'll come and join.
is obviously not at the point where your suggestions are seen as anything but
trying to get him to do something.
So stop.
Watch what HE likes. Get into his world...it's the only way he will feel
understood and start to trust that your intentions are not about manipulating
him.
And the proper answer for "do I HAVE to watch this." is "OF course not, I
just thought you might like it." and honestly get movies HE might like. Not
ones you think he "should" watch.
He will get nothing from something he isn't interested in anyway.
None of my kids like El Cid. Should they?
There is no reason that the movies he likes aren't just as valid as the ones
you do.
He is getting something from them and it's your job to be in his world and
learn from him too. :)
Hard as that may be sometimes......
it was the best thing anyone ever told me when I was fretting about my boys
obsession with tv/video games.
Trust is built through the action of being in their world, and until there is
trust, your suggestions will not be met with any level of enthusiasm.
Ren
"The sun is shining--the sun is shining. That is the magic. The flowers are
growing--the roots are stirring. That is the magic. Being alive is the
magic--being strong is the magic The magic is in me--the magic is in
me....It's in every one of us."
----Frances Hodgson
Burnett
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
He'd probably rather play games with us, so I'll leave it up to him.
Thanks,
Kelli
starsuncloud@... wrote:In a message dated 1/31/03 9:12:45 AM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
<< Do I keep getting these movies and just watch them with who will watch,
leaving him out? Hoping he'll come and join.
>>You're setting yourself up for friction between you and him. The relationship
is obviously not at the point where your suggestions are seen as anything but
trying to get him to do something.
So stop.
Watch what HE likes. Get into his world...it's the only way he will feel
understood and start to trust that your intentions are not about manipulating
him.
And the proper answer for "do I HAVE to watch this." is "OF course not, I
just thought you might like it." and honestly get movies HE might like. Not
ones you think he "should" watch.
He will get nothing from something he isn't interested in anyway.
None of my kids like El Cid. Should they?
There is no reason that the movies he likes aren't just as valid as the ones
you do.
He is getting something from them and it's your job to be in his world and
learn from him too. :)
Hard as that may be sometimes......
it was the best thing anyone ever told me when I was fretting about my boys
obsession with tv/video games.
Trust is built through the action of being in their world, and until there is
trust, your suggestions will not be met with any level of enthusiasm.
Ren
"The sun is shining--the sun is shining. That is the magic. The flowers are
growing--the roots are stirring. That is the magic. Being alive is the
magic--being strong is the magic The magic is in me--the magic is in
me....It's in every one of us."
----Frances Hodgson
Burnett
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail Plus - Powerful. Affordable. Sign up now
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/31/03 9:19:50 AM, starsuncloud@... writes:
<< Watch what HE likes. Get into his world...it's the only way he will feel
understood and start to trust that your intentions are not about manipulating
him.
And the proper answer for "do I HAVE to watch this." is "OF course not, I
just thought you might like it." and honestly get movies HE might like. Not
ones you think he "should" watch. >>
Because my kids are getting older, I don't so often pick movies for the kids'
sake as I used to. Now they have their own other avenues for finding
movies, or recommendations from friends.
I've watched movies with all of them variously about things I never would
have watched on my own, and had lots of fun. One was about snowboarders and
the resort's being taken over by an evil Texan (or some such). Teenage boy
humor, mostly, but some great stunts and funny gags.
Holly asked me to look on Netflix for a movie she had seen called
"babysitting in the city" or something, she said. I just searched for
babysitting and told her her choices. It was "Adventures in Babysitting."
It was FUN! I started watching it with Keith last night, after we watched
Patriot Games (too violent for my tastes). My foot's sore, and Keith was
soaking an ingrown toenail. So we two aging parents were watching videos
together. And so we put that one in. Holly came home from a trip to the
mall with a teenaged friend of hers and I went to bed, while Holly watched
the rest of the kid-adventure movie.
Neither of those movies were art films. They weren't about historical
periods (well, the 1980's as a historical period, in the latter maybe).
There was good music in both.
But the best part was that the adults were participating with and paying
close attention to things the kids had liked or wanted to see. And our going
into their world and communicating and communing was more important than
which movie it was.
Another movie Holly brought home after seeing it elsewhere was the one about
the young pregnant woman who is abandoned at a WalMart--Where the Heart Is, I
think. It did NOT sound interesting when she told me about it, but because
Holly was so enthusiastic, I watched it to see what had so sparked her
interest. I COULD have said I didn't want to see it, because in many
rational and logical ways I didn't want to. But I pressed myself to watch it
because I really love Holly. And she was right, and I was wrong. It was a
good movie, and we had great conversations because of it.
Sandra
<< Watch what HE likes. Get into his world...it's the only way he will feel
understood and start to trust that your intentions are not about manipulating
him.
And the proper answer for "do I HAVE to watch this." is "OF course not, I
just thought you might like it." and honestly get movies HE might like. Not
ones you think he "should" watch. >>
Because my kids are getting older, I don't so often pick movies for the kids'
sake as I used to. Now they have their own other avenues for finding
movies, or recommendations from friends.
I've watched movies with all of them variously about things I never would
have watched on my own, and had lots of fun. One was about snowboarders and
the resort's being taken over by an evil Texan (or some such). Teenage boy
humor, mostly, but some great stunts and funny gags.
Holly asked me to look on Netflix for a movie she had seen called
"babysitting in the city" or something, she said. I just searched for
babysitting and told her her choices. It was "Adventures in Babysitting."
It was FUN! I started watching it with Keith last night, after we watched
Patriot Games (too violent for my tastes). My foot's sore, and Keith was
soaking an ingrown toenail. So we two aging parents were watching videos
together. And so we put that one in. Holly came home from a trip to the
mall with a teenaged friend of hers and I went to bed, while Holly watched
the rest of the kid-adventure movie.
Neither of those movies were art films. They weren't about historical
periods (well, the 1980's as a historical period, in the latter maybe).
There was good music in both.
But the best part was that the adults were participating with and paying
close attention to things the kids had liked or wanted to see. And our going
into their world and communicating and communing was more important than
which movie it was.
Another movie Holly brought home after seeing it elsewhere was the one about
the young pregnant woman who is abandoned at a WalMart--Where the Heart Is, I
think. It did NOT sound interesting when she told me about it, but because
Holly was so enthusiastic, I watched it to see what had so sparked her
interest. I COULD have said I didn't want to see it, because in many
rational and logical ways I didn't want to. But I pressed myself to watch it
because I really love Holly. And she was right, and I was wrong. It was a
good movie, and we had great conversations because of it.
Sandra