our days may change
Mary Bianco
and therefore so will our nights!
My husband is seriously thinking of moving his office home. Something we
have had in past years but never in this house with this many children and
this particular occupation.
I'm not really sure how this will all work out with our family situation. It
changes a lot once I start thinking about it. What about the kids making
noise? What about the house being alive so early in the morning? What about
the kids natural habit of sleeping late and going to bed late? They may be
able to be undisturbed early in the a.m. but I won't be and if I have to
wake early then I won't be staying up late like they are all use to now.
Does this mean no more soccer games in the hall during the day? Will we have
to take ALL our play outside like "normal" people?
All of a sudden, what I thought I would have loved most, having Joe home all
day, is stressing me out. What about the kids and what we have been use to
for ages now??
Anyone have any experience with this? I'm thinking it will actually disrupt
our unschooling life.
Mary B
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My husband is seriously thinking of moving his office home. Something we
have had in past years but never in this house with this many children and
this particular occupation.
I'm not really sure how this will all work out with our family situation. It
changes a lot once I start thinking about it. What about the kids making
noise? What about the house being alive so early in the morning? What about
the kids natural habit of sleeping late and going to bed late? They may be
able to be undisturbed early in the a.m. but I won't be and if I have to
wake early then I won't be staying up late like they are all use to now.
Does this mean no more soccer games in the hall during the day? Will we have
to take ALL our play outside like "normal" people?
All of a sudden, what I thought I would have loved most, having Joe home all
day, is stressing me out. What about the kids and what we have been use to
for ages now??
Anyone have any experience with this? I'm thinking it will actually disrupt
our unschooling life.
Mary B
_________________________________________________________________
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Cathy Hilde
Mary,
We have had that situation for nearly a year. In the beginning it was
difficult, especially during summer when other neighbor kids were over too
and the noise level went up. There were adjustments on both sides, we did
have to learn to tone things down a bit. But my hubby says he became
accustom to it (the noise) . Kind of like moving next to a busy street when
you've had quiet before. Pretty soon you don't even hear the noise.
It is great eating lunch together and if I have to run an errand or go to
the dentist it has worked well. We have saved a bundle on gas, his commute
was really bad before and he pops in to play a game or take a few minutes
to read with the kids when he wants to take a break. He welcomes it now
when the kids want to come and ask him something or show him their artwork
etc.
On the down side I would definitely recommend a separate phone line and an
office area where he can actually close a door.
I just love having him here. It feels so cozy.
Cathy
----------
From: Mary Bianco[SMTP:mummyone24@...]
Reply To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2003 9:58 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] our days may change
<<File: ATT00038.htm>>
We have had that situation for nearly a year. In the beginning it was
difficult, especially during summer when other neighbor kids were over too
and the noise level went up. There were adjustments on both sides, we did
have to learn to tone things down a bit. But my hubby says he became
accustom to it (the noise) . Kind of like moving next to a busy street when
you've had quiet before. Pretty soon you don't even hear the noise.
It is great eating lunch together and if I have to run an errand or go to
the dentist it has worked well. We have saved a bundle on gas, his commute
was really bad before and he pops in to play a game or take a few minutes
to read with the kids when he wants to take a break. He welcomes it now
when the kids want to come and ask him something or show him their artwork
etc.
On the down side I would definitely recommend a separate phone line and an
office area where he can actually close a door.
I just love having him here. It feels so cozy.
Cathy
----------
From: Mary Bianco[SMTP:mummyone24@...]
Reply To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2003 9:58 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] our days may change
<<File: ATT00038.htm>>
Robyn Coburn
My husband works in the film business, so it has always been some months
home and some months away at work 12 - 16 hour days for 6 days a week.
However 18 months ago it became apparent that he needed a knee
replacement, and his is still in the final stages of recovering from the
surgery. He has been home, on worker's compensation for the whole time.
It has been a wonderful blessing for us to have him here for so much of
Jayn's toddlerhood. I think she would really miss him if he wasn't
around. Of course he is not trying to get work accomplished, but does
spend a lot of time on the computer and his ham radios in our "office"
in the dining room. We live in a one bedroom apartment.
My husband absolutely hates Jayn's habit of sleeping late, and mine.
Regardless of what I may have accomplished in the morning in my pyjamas,
I have not "started my day" unless I am dressed. I have noticed that
Jayn's most enriched play happens in the night after dinner, but he
still gets upset that she is late to bed. However, he blames me for her
sleep habits, and not her. He's probably right. I still like to live
theater hours, after a life in the theater. Unfortunately it sometimes
leads to harsh words between us.
I sometimes dream of the larger home we will one day have, with James
and all his electronic /computer junk in a shed at the bottom of the
garden. But then I will probably miss having him around. Sometimes he
gets snippy about the house not being clean enough, particularly when he
hasn't been home to see what all Jayn and I have been doing all day
instead of cleaning up her toys. Another reason to dream of a house
where there might actually be a playroom to at least store Jayn's toys
in.
What amazes me is how helpless he is - I don't mean because of his knee
- he can now walk fine. He will literally sit around for hours being
hungry and cranky, until I cook breakfast. "Why don't you just cook
yourself some bacon and eggs?". Also I end up fetching his drinks, and
doing all of his word processing for different hobbies etc for him.
Beware Mary! You could end up being an administrative assistant/gopher.
But in the end, I like that he is with us so much.
Regards,
Robyn Coburn
<<All of a sudden, what I thought I would have loved most, having Joe
home all
day, is stressing me out. What about the kids and what we have been use
to
for ages now??
Anyone have any experience with this? I'm thinking it will actually
disrupt
our unschooling life.
Mary B>>
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
home and some months away at work 12 - 16 hour days for 6 days a week.
However 18 months ago it became apparent that he needed a knee
replacement, and his is still in the final stages of recovering from the
surgery. He has been home, on worker's compensation for the whole time.
It has been a wonderful blessing for us to have him here for so much of
Jayn's toddlerhood. I think she would really miss him if he wasn't
around. Of course he is not trying to get work accomplished, but does
spend a lot of time on the computer and his ham radios in our "office"
in the dining room. We live in a one bedroom apartment.
My husband absolutely hates Jayn's habit of sleeping late, and mine.
Regardless of what I may have accomplished in the morning in my pyjamas,
I have not "started my day" unless I am dressed. I have noticed that
Jayn's most enriched play happens in the night after dinner, but he
still gets upset that she is late to bed. However, he blames me for her
sleep habits, and not her. He's probably right. I still like to live
theater hours, after a life in the theater. Unfortunately it sometimes
leads to harsh words between us.
I sometimes dream of the larger home we will one day have, with James
and all his electronic /computer junk in a shed at the bottom of the
garden. But then I will probably miss having him around. Sometimes he
gets snippy about the house not being clean enough, particularly when he
hasn't been home to see what all Jayn and I have been doing all day
instead of cleaning up her toys. Another reason to dream of a house
where there might actually be a playroom to at least store Jayn's toys
in.
What amazes me is how helpless he is - I don't mean because of his knee
- he can now walk fine. He will literally sit around for hours being
hungry and cranky, until I cook breakfast. "Why don't you just cook
yourself some bacon and eggs?". Also I end up fetching his drinks, and
doing all of his word processing for different hobbies etc for him.
Beware Mary! You could end up being an administrative assistant/gopher.
But in the end, I like that he is with us so much.
Regards,
Robyn Coburn
<<All of a sudden, what I thought I would have loved most, having Joe
home all
day, is stressing me out. What about the kids and what we have been use
to
for ages now??
Anyone have any experience with this? I'm thinking it will actually
disrupt
our unschooling life.
Mary B>>
_________________________________________________________________
MSN 8 helps eliminate e-mail viruses. Get 2 months FREE*.
http://join.msn.com/?page=features/virus
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email
the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list
owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address
an email to:
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Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo!
<http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Julie Bogart <[email protected]>
--- In [email protected], "Mary Bianco"
<mummyone24@h...> wrote:
My husband has worked at home many times in our marriage.
What about the kids making
times he was at home was feeling like there wwas one more
person's needs to consider for everything (including lunch)!
throughout the transition time so that everyone understands the
new constellation.
as much as mine. I like when he has other people to interact
with besides us and I like when we have that freedom at home to
do what we want without the extra pressure to accomodate his
needs for quiet.
I'm right with you.
But in our case, it's also inevitable that he will be working form
home again. So we are already thinking about what to do.
Can you husband work in a room that is not where you are? My
dh worked upstairs when we had him home before. This time
he'd be in an office that has a door that we close. If we can keep
him "sealed off" we can have more freedom to be noisy if we
must.
Also, it helped us when I would let him know our daily schedule
so that he could plan for the work that took more concentration
for when we were out of the house.
I don't know how involved your dh is in parenting when he's
home, but mine is very involved and that was also a distraction
for him. If he wonders what everyone's doing or if they are doing
what they "should." I know now it will be easier now that we are
unschooling since he buys into the philosophy. Before we were
trying to make sure certain things got done. :)
Well, not a lot of help, but lots of empathy. Good communication
is the key.
Julie B
<mummyone24@h...> wrote:
My husband has worked at home many times in our marriage.
What about the kids making
> noise? What about the house being alive so early in themorning? What about
> the kids natural habit of sleeping late and going to bed late?Yeah, these things do change. i think the hardest part for me the
times he was at home was feeling like there wwas one more
person's needs to consider for everything (including lunch)!
> Does this mean no more soccer games in the hall during theday? Will we have
> to take ALL our play outside like "normal" people?LOL I think it means lots of communication in advance and
throughout the transition time so that everyone understands the
new constellation.
>Joe home all
> All of a sudden, what I thought I would have loved most, having
> day, is stressing me out. What about the kids and what wehave been use to
> for ages now??I personally do prefer Jon to work outside the home for his sake
as much as mine. I like when he has other people to interact
with besides us and I like when we have that freedom at home to
do what we want without the extra pressure to accomodate his
needs for quiet.
I'm right with you.
But in our case, it's also inevitable that he will be working form
home again. So we are already thinking about what to do.
Can you husband work in a room that is not where you are? My
dh worked upstairs when we had him home before. This time
he'd be in an office that has a door that we close. If we can keep
him "sealed off" we can have more freedom to be noisy if we
must.
Also, it helped us when I would let him know our daily schedule
so that he could plan for the work that took more concentration
for when we were out of the house.
I don't know how involved your dh is in parenting when he's
home, but mine is very involved and that was also a distraction
for him. If he wonders what everyone's doing or if they are doing
what they "should." I know now it will be easier now that we are
unschooling since he buys into the philosophy. Before we were
trying to make sure certain things got done. :)
Well, not a lot of help, but lots of empathy. Good communication
is the key.
Julie B
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/30/03 4:08:39 AM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
<<
Anyone have any experience with this? I'm thinking it will actually disrupt
our unschooling life. >>
Yes, it does interfere with the free flow of things at times. We are forunate
in that dh isn't in his "office" (a desk in the middle of the entry area)
much. He is out building most of the time.
But yeah, it does affect things. I think the fact that he needs to go to bed
earlier than us affects things more than the working at home issue. The kids
have learned to tone it down after certain hours. Dh has also put a bed in
the basement we're finishing so he can go to sleep when we don't feel like
toning it down at night!! Poor guy.
He's so congenial about the whole thing though.
It takes some creative solutions to meet everyone's needs, but it is a
wonderful thing to have access to your spouse more often than the average
family.
Mark is able to work his schedule around things more often than not (there
ARE customers to keep happy, so it's not total freedom or anything) and he
works a lot less hours away from home than any other Dad I know, so the kids
get to spend a lot more time with both of us...which is really awesome.
And it enables me to enjoy a part time job, which I wouldn't even dream of if
dh wasn't home a lot.
There's positives and negatives about any work situation, you have to look at
the big picture and decide which outweighs the other.
For us, it's been extremely positive and we could never go back to having dh
work for someone else. I will be self employed in about 1.5 years from now,
after I complete massage therapy school. Yippeee!!
Ren
"The sun is shining--the sun is shining. That is the magic. The flowers are
growing--the roots are stirring. That is the magic. Being alive is the
magic--being strong is the magic The magic is in me--the magic is in
me....It's in every one of us."
----Frances Hodgson
Burnett
[email protected] writes:
<<
Anyone have any experience with this? I'm thinking it will actually disrupt
our unschooling life. >>
Yes, it does interfere with the free flow of things at times. We are forunate
in that dh isn't in his "office" (a desk in the middle of the entry area)
much. He is out building most of the time.
But yeah, it does affect things. I think the fact that he needs to go to bed
earlier than us affects things more than the working at home issue. The kids
have learned to tone it down after certain hours. Dh has also put a bed in
the basement we're finishing so he can go to sleep when we don't feel like
toning it down at night!! Poor guy.
He's so congenial about the whole thing though.
It takes some creative solutions to meet everyone's needs, but it is a
wonderful thing to have access to your spouse more often than the average
family.
Mark is able to work his schedule around things more often than not (there
ARE customers to keep happy, so it's not total freedom or anything) and he
works a lot less hours away from home than any other Dad I know, so the kids
get to spend a lot more time with both of us...which is really awesome.
And it enables me to enjoy a part time job, which I wouldn't even dream of if
dh wasn't home a lot.
There's positives and negatives about any work situation, you have to look at
the big picture and decide which outweighs the other.
For us, it's been extremely positive and we could never go back to having dh
work for someone else. I will be self employed in about 1.5 years from now,
after I complete massage therapy school. Yippeee!!
Ren
"The sun is shining--the sun is shining. That is the magic. The flowers are
growing--the roots are stirring. That is the magic. Being alive is the
magic--being strong is the magic The magic is in me--the magic is in
me....It's in every one of us."
----Frances Hodgson
Burnett
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/30/03 4:08:39 AM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
<< On the down side I would definitely recommend a separate phone line and an
office area where he can actually close a door. >>
Oh yes!! I agree with this advice. Always have a separate phone line for
business purposes.
Part of my dh's frustration has been having his desk up here right in the
middle of everything. He's finishing the basement and will soon have his own
office space... great solution.
Ren
"The sun is shining--the sun is shining. That is the magic. The flowers are
growing--the roots are stirring. That is the magic. Being alive is the
magic--being strong is the magic The magic is in me--the magic is in
me....It's in every one of us."
----Frances Hodgson
Burnett
[email protected] writes:
<< On the down side I would definitely recommend a separate phone line and an
office area where he can actually close a door. >>
Oh yes!! I agree with this advice. Always have a separate phone line for
business purposes.
Part of my dh's frustration has been having his desk up here right in the
middle of everything. He's finishing the basement and will soon have his own
office space... great solution.
Ren
"The sun is shining--the sun is shining. That is the magic. The flowers are
growing--the roots are stirring. That is the magic. Being alive is the
magic--being strong is the magic The magic is in me--the magic is in
me....It's in every one of us."
----Frances Hodgson
Burnett
Mary Bianco
>From: Cathy Hilde <childe@...><<On the down side I would definitely recommend a separate phone line and an
office area where he can actually close a door.
I just love having him here. It feels so cozy.>>
Well the thing here witht he noise is not really being a bother to my
husband. He spends a lot of time on the phone, and it's his clients that
would be bothered by it. Not sure it will sound very professional.
He will definitely have another business line and we would be putting the
"office" in our bedroom. That's really the only place for it. The
office/library/computer room is all open and not an option. We really have
no other room on our house. The bedroom is plenty big enough for it. We
would just have to take out the couch that's in there now. Thing is, our
bedroom is right by the playroom and other bathroom and at the end of the
hall. (there goes those soccer games again!)
Mary B
_________________________________________________________________
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[email protected]
If my husband, who is TOTALLY a morning person, worked from home, he would be
up bonking around at 6:00 a.m. When we were childless I remember MANY times
reminding him the neighbors might still be asleep, so not to use power tools,
and I remember him seeming very resentful about the very idea that he
couldn't use power tools at 7:00 on a Sunday morning on his own personal 1/10
of an acre!
But if he did need to work from home, I would just tell the kids that that's
the deal. If his job makes the house payment, they need to live with
whatever noise is involved, even if it's him singing along to sea shanties or
something. If they woke up every morning naturally (from unnatural noise
<g>) they would naturally start going to sleep earlier after a while.
Sandra
up bonking around at 6:00 a.m. When we were childless I remember MANY times
reminding him the neighbors might still be asleep, so not to use power tools,
and I remember him seeming very resentful about the very idea that he
couldn't use power tools at 7:00 on a Sunday morning on his own personal 1/10
of an acre!
But if he did need to work from home, I would just tell the kids that that's
the deal. If his job makes the house payment, they need to live with
whatever noise is involved, even if it's him singing along to sea shanties or
something. If they woke up every morning naturally (from unnatural noise
<g>) they would naturally start going to sleep earlier after a while.
Sandra
Mary Bianco
>From: "Robyn Coburn" <dezigna@...><<What amazes me is how helpless he is - I don't mean because of his knee
- he can now walk fine. He will literally sit around for hours being
hungry and cranky, until I cook breakfast. "Why don't you just cook
yourself some bacon and eggs?". Also I end up fetching his drinks, and
doing all of his word processing for different hobbies etc for him.
Beware Mary! You could end up being an administrative assistant/gopher.>>
LOL!! That would never happen here. Joe has worked from home before and he
actually thinks I do too much around here anyway. He's very much a partner
around here. He also spends a lot of time with the children too. When he
comes home from work, he spends about 2 hours just with the kids. If
anything, having him home soon might get me some more time with him!! I
don't worry about all that. I do worry though about the kids and I having a
life we have been accustom to change to where it dampens our style. Gee, I'm
feeling selfish now.
Mary B
_________________________________________________________________
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Pam Hartley
----------
designated room, or is it him, an assistant, a secretary, and clients
dropping by from 8 to 5? :)
Our "office" is at home -- there's a computer desk on my side of the bed,
and a computer desk on Wally's side of the bed. Our commute is brutal -- we
have to actually turn over and fall out of bed onto our desk chairs, LOL.
And our girls are often to be found sprawled all over said bed while we're
working.
We have no clients coming by. We have no set work hours. It doesn't affect
our sleeping patterns or playing patterns or housekeeping (well, except that
if we're busy with work the housekeeping falters before playtime does <g>).
If you are looking at worst-case-scenario -- i.e, he has specific hours of
operation and has clients coming by -- I'd think it's going to mean more
changes for you than if he can set his own hours and is working via phone,
fax and computer line.
Pam
>From: [email protected]What is involved in "his office" -- is it just him and computer in a
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 2961
>Date: Thu, Jan 30, 2003, 2:08 AM
>
> My husband is seriously thinking of moving his office home.
designated room, or is it him, an assistant, a secretary, and clients
dropping by from 8 to 5? :)
Our "office" is at home -- there's a computer desk on my side of the bed,
and a computer desk on Wally's side of the bed. Our commute is brutal -- we
have to actually turn over and fall out of bed onto our desk chairs, LOL.
And our girls are often to be found sprawled all over said bed while we're
working.
We have no clients coming by. We have no set work hours. It doesn't affect
our sleeping patterns or playing patterns or housekeeping (well, except that
if we're busy with work the housekeeping falters before playtime does <g>).
If you are looking at worst-case-scenario -- i.e, he has specific hours of
operation and has clients coming by -- I'd think it's going to mean more
changes for you than if he can set his own hours and is working via phone,
fax and computer line.
Pam
Kelly
My husband works from home.
He's a government contractor and he has an office set up in the basement, with faxline, computer, phone, etc.
He heads down to the basement in the morning, usually by 8am, and he comes up at lunchtime for about 1/2 an hour, and then goes back downstairs and comes up again around 5pm.
It really doesn't affect our schedule at all. I'm usually up by 6am, since I have a nursling who gets up fairly early. My older three children usually wake up between 8 and 9am. The baby is down by 8pm and the older three usually straggle to bed between 9 and 10pm.
He's been doing this for almost 3 years. The first six months were the hardest, as we each adjusted to the change, but now we wouldn't trade it for anything!!!!!!!
The children have been taught that when Daddy goes downstairs, he's working, just as if he worked away from home. Unless it's an emergency, we try to stay out of his hair, but he doesn't mind being interrupted occasionally to show him something cool made with Legos, etc.
But it's great for me!!!! I can make dentist appointments or take the older children skating or to their piano lessons without having to worry about juggling all four children at the same time.
Good luck!!
Kelly
He's a government contractor and he has an office set up in the basement, with faxline, computer, phone, etc.
He heads down to the basement in the morning, usually by 8am, and he comes up at lunchtime for about 1/2 an hour, and then goes back downstairs and comes up again around 5pm.
It really doesn't affect our schedule at all. I'm usually up by 6am, since I have a nursling who gets up fairly early. My older three children usually wake up between 8 and 9am. The baby is down by 8pm and the older three usually straggle to bed between 9 and 10pm.
He's been doing this for almost 3 years. The first six months were the hardest, as we each adjusted to the change, but now we wouldn't trade it for anything!!!!!!!
The children have been taught that when Daddy goes downstairs, he's working, just as if he worked away from home. Unless it's an emergency, we try to stay out of his hair, but he doesn't mind being interrupted occasionally to show him something cool made with Legos, etc.
But it's great for me!!!! I can make dentist appointments or take the older children skating or to their piano lessons without having to worry about juggling all four children at the same time.
Good luck!!
Kelly
> My husband is seriously thinking of moving his office home.[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Hartley
----------
One option that leaps out to me immediately is to stay with the kids when
your husband goes to bed so that they're not rampaging through the house
while you're in one room "warning" them from afar.
Haul out some good crafts or board games or reading books or a video and
stay up with them.
This does, obviously, cut into the goal of having alone-time with your
husband every evening, but it's probably an unrealistic goal for now, for
most nights.
So, look for your alone-time at more creative times of day -- get up early
together while the little darlings are asleep and spend an hour together
before he has to leave for work. Spend time together on a weekend afternoon
while the kids are at the neighbors or grandma's or sleeping in or
skateboarding in the kitchen ;).
Eventually, as you work with them each evening and model for them and with
them doing quiet things after Dad's gone to bed, they're going to start
thinking of it on their own. But it definitely sounds like they need you up
at night with them now -- they've shown that repeatedly until nighttime is a
war in the house instead of a nice peaceful calm time where Dad snoozes and
the rest of you do something fun but much quieter.
Pam
>From: [email protected]You haven't run out. :) It might feel that way.
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 2962
>Date: Thu, Jan 30, 2003, 6:51 AM
>
> About 3 or 4 "warnings" not
> really warnings, but.. getting up out of bed, going to their room and asking
> them to please quiet down. . or break up a fight or ask them to turn the TV
> down. Then finally, laying down the law and turning the stuff off and the
> lights out.. Then they go to sleep in about 15-20 mins.. Still, its a couple
> hours after Dh NEEDS to be asleep.. And also NO "private" time for us. ..
> So, what to do? This is not something that can just "work" its self out.
> Its already been almost 3 mos of sleep deprivation for him. We dont have
> months for them to self regulate or learn new principles. We have ran out
> of creative options.
One option that leaps out to me immediately is to stay with the kids when
your husband goes to bed so that they're not rampaging through the house
while you're in one room "warning" them from afar.
Haul out some good crafts or board games or reading books or a video and
stay up with them.
This does, obviously, cut into the goal of having alone-time with your
husband every evening, but it's probably an unrealistic goal for now, for
most nights.
So, look for your alone-time at more creative times of day -- get up early
together while the little darlings are asleep and spend an hour together
before he has to leave for work. Spend time together on a weekend afternoon
while the kids are at the neighbors or grandma's or sleeping in or
skateboarding in the kitchen ;).
Eventually, as you work with them each evening and model for them and with
them doing quiet things after Dad's gone to bed, they're going to start
thinking of it on their own. But it definitely sounds like they need you up
at night with them now -- they've shown that repeatedly until nighttime is a
war in the house instead of a nice peaceful calm time where Dad snoozes and
the rest of you do something fun but much quieter.
Pam
Samantha M. Stopple
Mary,
There are office noise tapes available that you can get. I think.
Your dh could play those when he talks with clients so it might cover
up the kid noise.
Theresa,
Can you be with the kids at night so dh can sleep? If you can be
available for them in the late evening doing more quiet type things
like playing cards or another game, reading books together, watching a
movie with them with the volume down a bit and lights out or down low
it could be calming for the kids. (might induce sleepiness) How about
head phones for the television? and video games?
I think to have the transition work you need to be there for them
helping them along then eventually they will do it on their own.
If dh is wanting time with you are the kids willing to be on their own
for a bit and you spend time with him before he goes to sleep then you
spend time with the kids after that?
Helpful?
Samantha
There are office noise tapes available that you can get. I think.
Your dh could play those when he talks with clients so it might cover
up the kid noise.
Theresa,
Can you be with the kids at night so dh can sleep? If you can be
available for them in the late evening doing more quiet type things
like playing cards or another game, reading books together, watching a
movie with them with the volume down a bit and lights out or down low
it could be calming for the kids. (might induce sleepiness) How about
head phones for the television? and video games?
I think to have the transition work you need to be there for them
helping them along then eventually they will do it on their own.
If dh is wanting time with you are the kids willing to be on their own
for a bit and you spend time with him before he goes to sleep then you
spend time with the kids after that?
Helpful?
Samantha
Mary Bianco
>From: "Julie Bogart <julie@...>" <julie@...><<I don't know how involved your dh is in parenting when he's
home, but mine is very involved and that was also a distraction
for him. If he wonders what everyone's doing or if they are doing
what they "should." I know now it will be easier now that we are
unschooling since he buys into the philosophy. Before we were
trying to make sure certain things got done. :)>>
My husband is very involved with the kids but not as far as wondering if
they are doing what they "should". I might be afraid that he would be out
playing with them and not working like he "should"!!! I even asked him today
if that would be a problem. Him being tempted to come out and play!! I think
it's a real thought as he's looking into an office with cheaper rent!!!
So he may move and he may still come home. Joe and I met while we worked
together and we both have worked together in business after that too. We get
along very well being together all day so that's not a problem at all. It's
just the flow of the house I worry about.
Not definite yet. He's worried about having the business here for safety
reasons. Not that anything happened in the past but it's on his mind.
Mary B
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Mary Bianco
Thanks Ren for the positive feedback. I have been real hesitant about Joe
coming home to work. Something I thought I would never feel. I remember how
sad Joseph was when Joe ended a home business years ago and wasn't around
like Joseph had been accustom to. I forgot about that and I also forgot
about how wonderful it was to have Joe home all the time, even if he was in
the bedroom most of the time. He was still THERE and we knew it and he would
come out often. He has free time now any time he wants it, but it's still
not the same. I do miss him being here.
Now I feel really selfish. We can adjust easy enough. It would certainly be
worth it. Especially for Alyssa now. She's never known daddy to be home all
the time. The other kids remember. She asks every day where daddy is and if
we can go see him at the office. She's a daddys girl, something the other 2
really weren't. He loves that!!!
Thanks again. I'm actually thinking I will be disappointed now if he decides
to move instead!!!
Mary B
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coming home to work. Something I thought I would never feel. I remember how
sad Joseph was when Joe ended a home business years ago and wasn't around
like Joseph had been accustom to. I forgot about that and I also forgot
about how wonderful it was to have Joe home all the time, even if he was in
the bedroom most of the time. He was still THERE and we knew it and he would
come out often. He has free time now any time he wants it, but it's still
not the same. I do miss him being here.
Now I feel really selfish. We can adjust easy enough. It would certainly be
worth it. Especially for Alyssa now. She's never known daddy to be home all
the time. The other kids remember. She asks every day where daddy is and if
we can go see him at the office. She's a daddys girl, something the other 2
really weren't. He loves that!!!
Thanks again. I'm actually thinking I will be disappointed now if he decides
to move instead!!!
Mary B
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In a message dated 1/30/03 1:27:37 PM Eastern Standard Time,
pamhartley@... writes:
in their with them, they would be quieter. I KNOW Dh, wouldnt really like
going to bed alone.. :-) And, the "early morning" encounter.. huh uh, that
aint gonna happen...LOL.. esp if I am up late with the kids.. I'm not
"interested" enough in a booty call at 4am. We already take advantage of
the weekend opportunities.. ( which are pretty rare). Maybe I need to
"move the party" downstairs to the living room. I could sit up and read or
watch TV with them.. .. The only other challange with me staying up late is
that I still have to get up at 7am and take Landon to school. BUT hes getting
his liscense soon and will driving himself.. so I could probably survive a
few more weeks.. I can always crawl back in bed when I get home from taking
him..
Well, this is maybe an alternative worth trying. thanks for the suggestion.
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
pamhartley@... writes:
> One option that leaps out to me immediately is to stay with the kids whenYou know, I had thought of that.. Proably, even if I just lay down in the bed
> your husband goes to bed so that they're not rampaging through the house
> while you're in one room "warning" them from afar.
>
in their with them, they would be quieter. I KNOW Dh, wouldnt really like
going to bed alone.. :-) And, the "early morning" encounter.. huh uh, that
aint gonna happen...LOL.. esp if I am up late with the kids.. I'm not
"interested" enough in a booty call at 4am. We already take advantage of
the weekend opportunities.. ( which are pretty rare). Maybe I need to
"move the party" downstairs to the living room. I could sit up and read or
watch TV with them.. .. The only other challange with me staying up late is
that I still have to get up at 7am and take Landon to school. BUT hes getting
his liscense soon and will driving himself.. so I could probably survive a
few more weeks.. I can always crawl back in bed when I get home from taking
him..
Well, this is maybe an alternative worth trying. thanks for the suggestion.
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/30/03 1:39:44 PM Eastern Standard Time,
sammimag@... writes:
Pam suggested the same thing.. It could be fun!..
Thanks
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
sammimag@... writes:
> I think to have the transition work you need to be there for themYes, Samantha, that is helpful.. and desribing it that way DOES make sense...
> helping them along then eventually they will do it on their own.
>
Pam suggested the same thing.. It could be fun!..
Thanks
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Mary Bianco
>From: Pam Hartley <pamhartley@...><<What is involved in "his office" -- is it just him and computer in a
designated room, or is it him, an assistant, a secretary, and clients
dropping by from 8 to 5? :)>>
OH heavens no!!!! He got rid of employees awhile ago. It's just him and all
his stuff. I think I'd rather have employees!!! As far as clients go, he can
always meet them elsewhere which he always does anyway. No set hours
although he likes to start his phone work at 8:00. He's willing to wait
until 9:00. I guess we can live with that.
Mary B
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Mary Bianco
Well I am very lucky in the fact that my mother has an attached in law
apartment to our house. So my comings and goings are very free if one of the
kids doesn't want to come. What I really need here is a basement. That would
be really great. Or even an attic large enough to be finished off.
Damn south Florida!!!!
Mary B
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apartment to our house. So my comings and goings are very free if one of the
kids doesn't want to come. What I really need here is a basement. That would
be really great. Or even an attic large enough to be finished off.
Damn south Florida!!!!
Mary B
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In a message dated 1/30/03 12:46:42 PM, grlynbl@... writes:
<< You know, I had thought of that.. Proably, even if I just lay down in the
bed
in their with them, they would be quieter. I KNOW Dh, wouldnt really like
going to bed alone.. :-) >>
I don't think of it as an alternative, but as the first pass. Until kids are
older, the parents can't both just go to bed at the same time and say "Okay,
take care of yourselves quietly."
I've never seen that work. I've never really seen it tried.
So once again our "simple advice" was incomplete.
Here each child settles into something at some point. A video, or being
online, or drawing or reading. Something. Or the older kids might be
playing a card game, but they do that in the room farthest from sleepers and
they shut the door. And I rarely go to bed before the youngest is taken care
of as far as practicalities--dressed for bed (if applicable), bed's made,
there's water, kleenex, whatever they might need. Then if they have other
plans, going to bed won't be a problem when the time comes.
Except in cases when I'm too sick to stay awake, I don't go to bed and leave
the whole crowd going full speed.
Sometimes when they have company there's more of a party atmosphere, and
that's okay with me. Then I might go on to sleep with them all wide awake,
after making sure they have a plan for where the guests will sleep.
Sandra
<< You know, I had thought of that.. Proably, even if I just lay down in the
bed
in their with them, they would be quieter. I KNOW Dh, wouldnt really like
going to bed alone.. :-) >>
I don't think of it as an alternative, but as the first pass. Until kids are
older, the parents can't both just go to bed at the same time and say "Okay,
take care of yourselves quietly."
I've never seen that work. I've never really seen it tried.
So once again our "simple advice" was incomplete.
Here each child settles into something at some point. A video, or being
online, or drawing or reading. Something. Or the older kids might be
playing a card game, but they do that in the room farthest from sleepers and
they shut the door. And I rarely go to bed before the youngest is taken care
of as far as practicalities--dressed for bed (if applicable), bed's made,
there's water, kleenex, whatever they might need. Then if they have other
plans, going to bed won't be a problem when the time comes.
Except in cases when I'm too sick to stay awake, I don't go to bed and leave
the whole crowd going full speed.
Sometimes when they have company there's more of a party atmosphere, and
that's okay with me. Then I might go on to sleep with them all wide awake,
after making sure they have a plan for where the guests will sleep.
Sandra
Mary Bianco
>From: Pam Hartley <pamhartley@...><<You might be able to do some additional soundproofing between your bedroom
and the rest of the house. Can you trade out the playroom with a bedroom
(even if it's smaller) so the playroom noise is further away?
Don't know what to do about the soccer games. <g> Maybe your dh and kids can
reach an agreement to have a set soccer game in the hall every day during
"lunch hour" ;)>>
Hmmmmm.....now there's an idea. Soundproofing the bedroom. Could come in
handy. <BEG> The bedroom isn't finished anyway from when we moved in so it's
not like we would be messing it up. We would be doing ourselves a favor!!
Moving the playroom, not a choice. It's in the back of the house and only
has a sliding glass door, pass through window from the kitchen and you have
to go through it to get to the pool and yard. Through the room not the
window! Not exactly an ideal bedroom!
As far as organized soccer games, not very unschooly but it will have to do.
Either that or outside with the soccer net. Not as much fun though!!!
Mary B
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Mary Bianco
>From: Samantha M. Stopple <sammimag@...><<There are office noise tapes available that you can get. I think.
Your dh could play those when he talks with clients so it might cover
up the kid noise.>>
Really?? Never heard of that. Like maybe Office Depot or Office Max would
have them??? That's another good idea. Thanks.
Mary B
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In a message dated 1/30/03 1:35:38 PM, mummyone24@... writes:
<< <<There are office noise tapes available that you can get. I think.
Your dh could play those when he talks with clients so it might cover
up the kid noise.>>
Really?? Never heard of that. Like maybe Office Depot or Office Max would
have them??? That's another good idea. Thanks.
I'd personally much rather deal with someone with kid noise in the back than
someone with a sound façade. Seems dishonest to me.
Sandra
<< <<There are office noise tapes available that you can get. I think.
Your dh could play those when he talks with clients so it might cover
up the kid noise.>>
Really?? Never heard of that. Like maybe Office Depot or Office Max would
have them??? That's another good idea. Thanks.
>>But if someone knows he works at home and he has "office noise"...
I'd personally much rather deal with someone with kid noise in the back than
someone with a sound façade. Seems dishonest to me.
Sandra
Robyn Coburn
<<If my husband, who is TOTALLY a morning person, worked from home, he
would be
up bonking around at 6:00 a.m. >>
Lucky you!
Er, you do know what "bonking" means in both England and to some degree,
Australia, right? ;)
Robyn Coburn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
would be
up bonking around at 6:00 a.m. >>
Lucky you!
Er, you do know what "bonking" means in both England and to some degree,
Australia, right? ;)
Robyn Coburn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Mary Bianco
>From: SandraDodd@...<<But if someone knows he works at home and he has "office noise"...
I'd personally much rather deal with someone with kid noise in the back than
someone with a sound fa�ade. Seems dishonest to me.>>
I think that depends on the person and occupation. With my husband's line of
work, it would seem very unprofessional to most. I just can't see most
people he's looking for taking him seriously with kids laughing in the
background.
Mary B
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In a message dated 1/30/03 2:02:36 PM, dezigna@... writes:
<<
Er, you do know what "bonking" means in both England and to some degree,
Australia, right? ;) >>
Here too, if in that context.
This morning it was. <g>
But in that post, I was thinking of thumping around in the garage with
handtools not biological parts. <g>
Sandra
<<
Er, you do know what "bonking" means in both England and to some degree,
Australia, right? ;) >>
Here too, if in that context.
This morning it was. <g>
But in that post, I was thinking of thumping around in the garage with
handtools not biological parts. <g>
Sandra
Shyrley
SandraDodd@... wrote:
;-)
Sorry, couldn't help myself....
Shyrley
> If my husband, who is TOTALLY a morning person, worked from home, he would beWould you like to know what bonking means in the UK?
> up bonking around at 6:00 a.m. When we were childless I remember MANY times
> reminding him the neighbors might still be asleep, so not to use power tools,
> and I remember him seeming very resentful about the very idea that he
> couldn't use power tools at 7:00 on a Sunday morning on his own personal 1/10
> of an acre!
>
;-)
Sorry, couldn't help myself....
Shyrley
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/30/2003 4:50:08 PM Eastern Standard Time,
shyrley.williams@... writes:
~Kelly <g>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
shyrley.williams@... writes:
> Would you like to know what bonking means in the UK?Oh Hell, Shyrley! EVERYTHING means that in the UK!
>
~Kelly <g>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Shyrley
kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
Shyrley
PS. Wish me luck. DH has applied for a job in the UK so we might be able to go home soon!
> In a message dated 1/30/2003 4:50:08 PM Eastern Standard Time,Well, it rains so much, there's so little else to do.....
> shyrley.williams@... writes:
>
> > Would you like to know what bonking means in the UK?
> >
>
> Oh Hell, Shyrley! EVERYTHING means that in the UK!
>
> ~Kelly <g>
>
Shyrley
PS. Wish me luck. DH has applied for a job in the UK so we might be able to go home soon!
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/30/03 5:27:24 PM, shyrley.williams@... writes:
<< PS. Wish me luck. DH has applied for a job in the UK so we might be able
to go home soon! >>
GOOD luck.
I'm sorry your experience of the U.S. has been a rich uptight kind of
neighborhood.
I think you would have liked New Mexico.
Sandra
<< PS. Wish me luck. DH has applied for a job in the UK so we might be able
to go home soon! >>
GOOD luck.
I'm sorry your experience of the U.S. has been a rich uptight kind of
neighborhood.
I think you would have liked New Mexico.
Sandra