Deborah Lewis

I'm so behind. I have a couple hundred e-mails to read so forgive me
addressing something that's long gone.
I've had a little wine too and so whatever I say probably won't make any
sense.

Someone was wondering about kids and chores and how it all fits into
unschooling. I think you can compare it to the way kids learn to read.
They see us reading for pleasure and for information. We read to them
when they want us to. We make sure we provide lots of reading materials
for them to mess around with.

What if they see us taking care of our homes for pleasure ( because a
clean kitchen is more peaceful than a messy one) and for necessity. ( we
need clean clothes) What if we do things for them, pick up toys, find
missing shoes, etc. What if we let them help when they're little and
interested, letting them do just as much as they want and not expecting
more?

Isn't it really the same?

I think a kid would be pretty stupid to jump up and clean joyously if a
parent has made it well known that cleaning is an unpleasant and
miserable chore. I think, however hard it might be, we need to do
things for our family happily if we hope for them to do things happily
for us.

I'm not a perfect house keeper. I let a lot of things wait. But when I
clean I try to be pleasant about it, to think of it as a benefit to my
family and not as a hardship for me. If I really hate a thing and can't
do it happily I wait until everyone's outside or at the store somewhere
and do it then and grumble if I have to. I wouldn't ever expect my kid
to be happily willing to do some job I was forever bitching about.

So, you shouldn't eat off my floor, and I almost always have cob webs
somewhere or other, but I also have a child who will take the garbage out
when he notices it's full and sometimes does dishes just because they're
there. I think that's better than a perfectly clean house with a kid
who has assigned chores. Yes, there is a world of possibilities between
those two scenarios, but this one fits easily with my other thoughts on
unschooling. For the same reasons I don't assign reading or math I
don't assign dishes or laundry.

I know not everyone agrees on this. The truth is kids who have reading
lessons mostly do learn how to read. Kids who have math lessons do learn
how to add and subtract. Kids who are made to do chores do know how to
wash toilets and mop. It comes down to which is the natural way for
kids to learn and grow.
If you happen to think natural learning is healthier it seems only
reasonable to look at all of life as natural learning.

Deb L, out of wine and off to watch a movie.

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/27/03 9:50:04 PM, ddzimlew@... writes:

<< What if they see us taking care of our homes for pleasure ( because a
clean kitchen is more peaceful than a messy one) and for necessity. ( we
need clean clothes) What if we do things for them, pick up toys, find
missing shoes, etc. What if we let them help when they're little and
interested, letting them do just as much as they want and not expecting
more?

<<Isn't it really the same?
>>

Good points for a drunk. <bwg>

You said some of this stuff in a different way than I've heard it (read it)
before. I'm saving it. I should start a page of justifications for
loosening up on chores and related matters. I'll quote all the wisest moms
around.

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/27/2003 11:50:06 PM Eastern Standard Time,
ddzimlew@... writes:

> I'm not a perfect house keeper. I let a lot of things wait. But when I
> clean I try to be pleasant about it, to think of it as a benefit to my
> family and not as a hardship for me.

That makes so much sense! Thank you for sharing that thought. You are so
very right about not asking others to do what you wouldn't do!

glena


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

leschke2001 <[email protected]>

--- In [email protected], Deborah Lewis
<ddzimlew@j...> wrote:
> I'm so behind. I have a couple hundred e-mails to read so forgive
me
> addressing something that's long gone.
> I've had a little wine too and so whatever I say probably won't
make any
> sense.

This post made wonderful sense. The subject of chores has come up on
the Canadian list again, and even among the unschoolers there, chores
seem to be a given. Your post says it so well, would you mind my
forwarding it to that list for discussion? I could leave your name
on or off, as you prefer.
Tia

Deborah Lewis

On Tue, 28 Jan 2003 16:54:32 -0000 "leschke2001 <leschke@...>"
writes:
***would you mind my
forwarding it to that list for discussion? ***

I don't mind at all. Use it however you like. I'll trust your judgement
about that list whether they'd find the wine slurping part adds to the
credibility or not. <g>

Deb L

[email protected]

> What if they see us taking care of our homes for pleasure ( because a
> clean kitchen is more peaceful than a messy one) and for necessity. ( we
> need clean clothes) What if we do things for them, pick up toys, find
> missing shoes, etc. What if we let them help when they're little and
> interested, letting them do just as much as they want and not expecting
> more?
>
Exactly!! Which is why they make toy brooms and vacuums and lawn mowers and
rakes and shovels......because it's FUN!!! It's chores that suck.
Mary J


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tia Leschke

> ***would you mind my
> forwarding it to that list for discussion? ***
>
> I don't mind at all. Use it however you like. I'll trust your judgement
> about that list whether they'd find the wine slurping part adds to the
> credibility or not. <g>

Thanks Deb.
Tia