Jim Selvage

Betsy,

You are right that it is the shy one who does complain, but no I do not do
it publicly. It is usually a request, when we are driving to the event,
with me knowing what the set-up will be. A lot of the things this child
says no to are because he is shy, and I have no idea how to get around that
one. That is another whole topic!

blessings,
erin


> **What I do know about this, is that my previous method hasn't helped very
> much. I often have suggested that they help someone do something when we
> are with a group. My son, especially, often responds quite negatively to
> this request. I have then sometimes told him that he had to, and other
> times told him to forget it (but probably not with the best attitude on my
> part).**
>
> Speaking as someone who has been on the receiving end of maternal
> prodding, what I visualize (which may not be what you do) feels very
> much like a public reprimand. Shy children do not like to be shoved
> into the spotlight and told that they should be doing more. Even un-shy
> children may not be thrilled about it.
>
> Anticipating the situation beforehand and telling your child that
> cleanup is fairer if everyone helps might work better.
>
> My two cents,
> Betsy