late nights and tv/internet
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For those of you who have kids who stay up considerably later than you do...
how do you feel about your kids having internet access and/or full cable tv access in the wee hours without you their to monitor/discuss/filter what's viewed?
I've amazed at what's on cable tv late at night these days- and I'm not even talking about the premium channels. We don't even get any of those! I'm thinking Comedy Central stuff (The Man Show for example, and some South Park episodes), E! (Howard Stern, etc) and so on. Some of it is garbage (to me) and some is actually quite funny and I'd be okay with my kids watching it with their Dad and I, but alone late at night while I'm sleeping and not there to diffuse/answer questions I'm ambivalent about.
And the internet... my oldest (who is a particular night owl) would *really* like the internet in his bedroom. He already has an old computer in there that he uses for games, so it's really no big deal to hook up a phone line, but I'm thinking of all the pop ups and XXX junk mail that come up on mine. I know there are filters, but how good are they really? He's only nine BTW (almost ten), it's not like I'm dealing with a teenager- and he's my first so I'm mabye a little overprotective :-) but this is a big hurdle for me.
Patti
how do you feel about your kids having internet access and/or full cable tv access in the wee hours without you their to monitor/discuss/filter what's viewed?
I've amazed at what's on cable tv late at night these days- and I'm not even talking about the premium channels. We don't even get any of those! I'm thinking Comedy Central stuff (The Man Show for example, and some South Park episodes), E! (Howard Stern, etc) and so on. Some of it is garbage (to me) and some is actually quite funny and I'd be okay with my kids watching it with their Dad and I, but alone late at night while I'm sleeping and not there to diffuse/answer questions I'm ambivalent about.
And the internet... my oldest (who is a particular night owl) would *really* like the internet in his bedroom. He already has an old computer in there that he uses for games, so it's really no big deal to hook up a phone line, but I'm thinking of all the pop ups and XXX junk mail that come up on mine. I know there are filters, but how good are they really? He's only nine BTW (almost ten), it's not like I'm dealing with a teenager- and he's my first so I'm mabye a little overprotective :-) but this is a big hurdle for me.
Patti
Shyrley
patti.schmidt2@... wrote:
mean) makes it more atractive to watch. Because I've never censored stuff I guess that when they are teens they wont feel the need to sneak off and watch illicit stuff out of my control - and parental control lasts only as long as you can actually physically control them.
As it happens, my lot don't watch TV much apart from Stargate and Coupling and Father Ted. they think most late night offerings are drivel. Last night my two lads (9 and 7) stayed up to watch The Matrix on video after I went to bed. then i think they played GTA for a bit.
The filters are terrible. I acidently set mine once and couldn't get any info on the English county of Sussex. It took me ages to realise what was going on.
I've always been very open about what can be found on the net and my kids have asked questions. At 10, 9 and 7 they are not really interested in looking at 'hot teenage babes' and spend most of the time online looking up game cheats.
Shyrley
> For those of you who have kids who stay up considerably later than you do...Well, monitoring isn't part of my mind set cos thats all about controlling and 'knowing whats best' for someone else. I can't possibly know whats best. If they have any questions about what they see then they will ask me in the morning. They ask questions frankly and I answer them frankly so there's no need for naughty secrets about what they've seen. I certainly don't filter anything. I feel that would imply that I didn't trust them to know their own minds and I also think that hiding stuff like sex (which I assume is what you
> how do you feel about your kids having internet access and/or full cable tv access in the wee hours without you their to monitor/discuss/filter what's viewed?
mean) makes it more atractive to watch. Because I've never censored stuff I guess that when they are teens they wont feel the need to sneak off and watch illicit stuff out of my control - and parental control lasts only as long as you can actually physically control them.
As it happens, my lot don't watch TV much apart from Stargate and Coupling and Father Ted. they think most late night offerings are drivel. Last night my two lads (9 and 7) stayed up to watch The Matrix on video after I went to bed. then i think they played GTA for a bit.
>My daughter thought the Man Show was stupid when she caught some the other day. She prefers Monty Python.
>
> I've amazed at what's on cable tv late at night these days- and I'm not even talking about the premium channels. We don't even get any of those! I'm thinking Comedy Central stuff (The Man Show for example, and some South Park episodes), E! (Howard Stern, etc) and so on. Some of it is garbage (to me) and some is actually quite funny and I'd be okay with my kids watching it with their Dad and I, but alone late at night while I'm sleeping and not there to diffuse/answer questions I'm ambivalent about.
>I would warn my child of the dangers of chat rooms if they were inclined to use the internet. Pop ups are mainly adverts so they would be ignored and junk mail goes to your email account does it not?
>
> And the internet... my oldest (who is a particular night owl) would *really* like the internet in his bedroom. He already has an old computer in there that he uses for games, so it's really no big deal to hook up a phone line, but I'm thinking of all the pop ups and XXX junk mail that come up on mine. I know there are filters, but how good are they really? He's only nine BTW (almost ten), it's not like I'm dealing with a teenager- and he's my first so I'm mabye a little overprotective :-) but this is a big hurdle for me.
The filters are terrible. I acidently set mine once and couldn't get any info on the English county of Sussex. It took me ages to realise what was going on.
I've always been very open about what can be found on the net and my kids have asked questions. At 10, 9 and 7 they are not really interested in looking at 'hot teenage babes' and spend most of the time online looking up game cheats.
Shyrley
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/23/03 10:44:31 PM Eastern Standard Time,
shyrley.williams@... writes:
shouted "Charge!" and "Run Away! Run Away!"
*~*Elissa Jill*~*
unschooling Momma to 3 beautiful brilliant people
Loving partner for life to Joey
terrible guitarist, fair singer and happy woman.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
shyrley.williams@... writes:
> My daughter thought the Man Show was stupid when she caught some the otherWe just watched The Holy Grail and today Max rode his invisible horse and
> day. She prefers Monty Python.
>
>
shouted "Charge!" and "Run Away! Run Away!"
*~*Elissa Jill*~*
unschooling Momma to 3 beautiful brilliant people
Loving partner for life to Joey
terrible guitarist, fair singer and happy woman.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Have a Nice Day!
My son ended up with something called "adult party" on my pc. He told me himself he didn't know how it got there and wanted to get rid of it. So I did.
He also complains of the porn pop-ups etc. There was a time when he'd been all eyes for that stuff, but not anymore. I expected it to get worse at his age, but its already getting better, I think becasue I've never made an issue of it.
Speaking of Howard Stern, did anyone see last night's show? We don't watch it but my husband turns it on once in a while. It was just downright disgusting.
I *do* wonder about that stuff, but I treat it the same way. They have an interest in it for awhile and then it just fades.
Kristen
He also complains of the porn pop-ups etc. There was a time when he'd been all eyes for that stuff, but not anymore. I expected it to get worse at his age, but its already getting better, I think becasue I've never made an issue of it.
Speaking of Howard Stern, did anyone see last night's show? We don't watch it but my husband turns it on once in a while. It was just downright disgusting.
I *do* wonder about that stuff, but I treat it the same way. They have an interest in it for awhile and then it just fades.
Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: Shyrley
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, January 23, 2003 10:50 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] late nights and tv/internet
patti.schmidt2@... wrote:
> For those of you who have kids who stay up considerably later than you do...
> how do you feel about your kids having internet access and/or full cable tv access in the wee hours without you their to monitor/discuss/filter what's viewed?
Well, monitoring isn't part of my mind set cos thats all about controlling and 'knowing whats best' for someone else. I can't possibly know whats best. If they have any questions about what they see then they will ask me in the morning. They ask questions frankly and I answer them frankly so there's no need for naughty secrets about what they've seen. I certainly don't filter anything. I feel that would imply that I didn't trust them to know their own minds and I also think that hiding stuff like sex (which I assume is what you
mean) makes it more atractive to watch. Because I've never censored stuff I guess that when they are teens they wont feel the need to sneak off and watch illicit stuff out of my control - and parental control lasts only as long as you can actually physically control them.
As it happens, my lot don't watch TV much apart from Stargate and Coupling and Father Ted. they think most late night offerings are drivel. Last night my two lads (9 and 7) stayed up to watch The Matrix on video after I went to bed. then i think they played GTA for a bit.
>
>
> I've amazed at what's on cable tv late at night these days- and I'm not even talking about the premium channels. We don't even get any of those! I'm thinking Comedy Central stuff (The Man Show for example, and some South Park episodes), E! (Howard Stern, etc) and so on. Some of it is garbage (to me) and some is actually quite funny and I'd be okay with my kids watching it with their Dad and I, but alone late at night while I'm sleeping and not there to diffuse/answer questions I'm ambivalent about.
My daughter thought the Man Show was stupid when she caught some the other day. She prefers Monty Python.
>
>
> And the internet... my oldest (who is a particular night owl) would *really* like the internet in his bedroom. He already has an old computer in there that he uses for games, so it's really no big deal to hook up a phone line, but I'm thinking of all the pop ups and XXX junk mail that come up on mine. I know there are filters, but how good are they really? He's only nine BTW (almost ten), it's not like I'm dealing with a teenager- and he's my first so I'm mabye a little overprotective :-) but this is a big hurdle for me.
I would warn my child of the dangers of chat rooms if they were inclined to use the internet. Pop ups are mainly adverts so they would be ignored and junk mail goes to your email account does it not?
The filters are terrible. I acidently set mine once and couldn't get any info on the English county of Sussex. It took me ages to realise what was going on.
I've always been very open about what can be found on the net and my kids have asked questions. At 10, 9 and 7 they are not really interested in looking at 'hot teenage babes' and spend most of the time online looking up game cheats.
Shyrley
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***Well, monitoring isn't part of my mind set cos thats all about controlling and
'knowing whats best' for someone else.***
I didn't mean monitor as in control (allow or disallow), I meant monitor as in be aware of, or be there to bounce things off of/discuss if something was disturbing. They wouldn't be as inclined to wake me up if I was in bed as they would to ask me something if I was in the room or down the hall.
***If
they have any questions about what they see then they will ask me in the
morning. They ask questions frankly and I answer them frankly so there's no
need for naughty secrets about what they've seen.***
Same here. :-)
***I feel that would imply that I didn't trust them to know their own
minds and I also think that hiding stuff like sex (which I assume is what you
mean) makes it more atractive to watch.***
Hmmm. My kids know about sex as in the standard stuff (what goes where, that it feels good, etc) but they aren't aware of more hardcore fetish-type stuff. Should I go buy some magazines and books about the different fetishes that exist and leave them on the coffee table so that it's not hidden and secret? I'm being sarcastic, but that's the sort of stuff that is on the internet at the click of the wrong button.
I think there's a difference between hiding porn or other adult material from a sexually mature teen who knows about it and wants some, and hiding the same stuff from a prepubescent child who isn't even aware of it's existence yet. Is there any possible negative effect, in your opinion, on a child who happens across images he isn't emotionally ready for? Even as an adult I've been disturbed by images I've happened across or concepts I was momentarily curious about (like a traffic accident) but then wish I hadn't seen. Is there any age where you might purposely shield a child from those images? I don't mean to be difficult, I'm just trying to figure this out in my mind.
***my lot don't watch TV much apart from Stargate and Coupling and
Father Ted. they think most late night offerings are drivel. Last night my two
lads (9 and 7) stayed up to watch The Matrix on video after I went to bed. then
i think they played GTA for a bit.***
Mine watch South Park, and so far our only request has been that they watch it with an adult. I almost feel bad that some stuff is way over their heads and they are compelled to ask what it means so they get the joke and then seem a bit disturbed or unnerved by the info. (Anyone see the Lemminks episode?)
***I would warn my child of the dangers of chat rooms if they were inclined to use
the internet.***
Chat rooms terrify me when it comes to my children.
***Pop ups are mainly adverts so they would be ignored and junk mail
goes to your email account does it not?***
Yup, it does. He wants email too.
Patti
'knowing whats best' for someone else.***
I didn't mean monitor as in control (allow or disallow), I meant monitor as in be aware of, or be there to bounce things off of/discuss if something was disturbing. They wouldn't be as inclined to wake me up if I was in bed as they would to ask me something if I was in the room or down the hall.
***If
they have any questions about what they see then they will ask me in the
morning. They ask questions frankly and I answer them frankly so there's no
need for naughty secrets about what they've seen.***
Same here. :-)
***I feel that would imply that I didn't trust them to know their own
minds and I also think that hiding stuff like sex (which I assume is what you
mean) makes it more atractive to watch.***
Hmmm. My kids know about sex as in the standard stuff (what goes where, that it feels good, etc) but they aren't aware of more hardcore fetish-type stuff. Should I go buy some magazines and books about the different fetishes that exist and leave them on the coffee table so that it's not hidden and secret? I'm being sarcastic, but that's the sort of stuff that is on the internet at the click of the wrong button.
I think there's a difference between hiding porn or other adult material from a sexually mature teen who knows about it and wants some, and hiding the same stuff from a prepubescent child who isn't even aware of it's existence yet. Is there any possible negative effect, in your opinion, on a child who happens across images he isn't emotionally ready for? Even as an adult I've been disturbed by images I've happened across or concepts I was momentarily curious about (like a traffic accident) but then wish I hadn't seen. Is there any age where you might purposely shield a child from those images? I don't mean to be difficult, I'm just trying to figure this out in my mind.
***my lot don't watch TV much apart from Stargate and Coupling and
Father Ted. they think most late night offerings are drivel. Last night my two
lads (9 and 7) stayed up to watch The Matrix on video after I went to bed. then
i think they played GTA for a bit.***
Mine watch South Park, and so far our only request has been that they watch it with an adult. I almost feel bad that some stuff is way over their heads and they are compelled to ask what it means so they get the joke and then seem a bit disturbed or unnerved by the info. (Anyone see the Lemminks episode?)
***I would warn my child of the dangers of chat rooms if they were inclined to use
the internet.***
Chat rooms terrify me when it comes to my children.
***Pop ups are mainly adverts so they would be ignored and junk mail
goes to your email account does it not?***
Yup, it does. He wants email too.
Patti
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/23/03 8:59:22 PM, Earthmomma67@... writes:
<< We just watched The Holy Grail and today Max rode his invisible horse and
shouted "Charge!" and "Run Away! Run Away!" >>
Last night Holly was doing a silly walk, and I asked if she'd ever seen the
Monty Python "Ministry of Silly Walks" sketch. She said she hadn't, but an
adult friend of hers had told her she should!
Using the index of the two-volume Flying Circus transcripts, I figured out
which DVD it was on, and went straight to it for her within minutes. I love
technology. (That and the joyous fact that year before last I got the whole
MP's Flying Circus DVD set. <g>)
I don't worry about South Park, but we don't have cable either.
You could tell your kid not to open porn junkmail or to go to any porn sites,
and if he does you'll know by the trail on the computer, so DON'T.
Sandra
<< We just watched The Holy Grail and today Max rode his invisible horse and
shouted "Charge!" and "Run Away! Run Away!" >>
Last night Holly was doing a silly walk, and I asked if she'd ever seen the
Monty Python "Ministry of Silly Walks" sketch. She said she hadn't, but an
adult friend of hers had told her she should!
Using the index of the two-volume Flying Circus transcripts, I figured out
which DVD it was on, and went straight to it for her within minutes. I love
technology. (That and the joyous fact that year before last I got the whole
MP's Flying Circus DVD set. <g>)
I don't worry about South Park, but we don't have cable either.
You could tell your kid not to open porn junkmail or to go to any porn sites,
and if he does you'll know by the trail on the computer, so DON'T.
Sandra