edgeofchaos

Thank-you all for generous responses. Watching how others take what my concerns, fears etc.consist of and then mirroring it back for me is a wakeup, shakeup opportunity.
Where Sandra says <<"Please read these and actually DO some of the stuff. Reading and being surrounded by readings and verbal input is like surrounding yourself with articles on diapering and nursing, but not actually picking up the baby..." >>
BANG! A direct hit! Yes, yes, for me it is like the saying "How you do one thing is how you do everything." (Or perhaps in my case, how I resist / avoid / am insecure about something is how I resist / avoid / am insecure about many things...) I have consistently surrounded myself with reams of info on all types of interests. Then the actual submerging of myself into the particular area doesn't necessarily follow... doubts, naysayings and procrastination gain a foothold, and after awhile I can question my abilities ad nauseum.
In any event, if I can be present with my kids and enjoy them for themselves, for who they are right now in this moment and not project into the future, the unknown with all matter of imaginings, we can all truly be more alive and unfettered.
Thanks also Betsy and Kristen; I hear that my freaking out can be seen and not carried.

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