Interrogated by a teacher
The Robbins' Nest
Okay, I had my first encounter with a questioning parent about our homeschooling. I mean, really questioning. I think I came off as a little defensive, even though I don't feel that way. I am very secure in our decision to unschool but it was very hard to explain the concept (she said she had never heard of it) and not take her questions personally. Ugghhh!!
My daughter just started a cheerleading program at a local Baptist church....Upwards is the name of the program. It is actually quite nice for a nonchurchy person. My daughter has announced many times that she is a Christian and she can't really understand why my husband and I are not but that's another story........
Anyway, we joined late and my daughter(just turned 7) got to be on the same team with another friend who is in the 3rd grade. They placed her with the 3rd and 4th graders instead of the 1st/2nd grade group. I am fine with it.....Mady is fine with it......but the mothers keep asking me, "Is she a 4th grader???" and it leads to the homeschooling discussions when I tell them she is 7 and not in a 'grade'.
One mother asked the usual question, "so,............what curriculum do you use?"
Me: "We don't use curriculum."
Her: "Oh,......(long pause) we used Abeka for the girls until they were old enough to start school and it really gave them a good start."
Me: "That's nice"
End of conversation. Whew. Survived the unending questions from her. Then comes in mother #2.
Mother #2 is a special education teacher with 3 or 4 adopted children with various disabilities. Her main question ( I initially took it as concern for what I am doing with my children) was how do they learn the BASICS?? Well, I gave her the "from everyday life" answer and she wanted more. But HOW?? I said that I was secure and confident that my children would learn what they need when they need it.
Then I realized that maybe she really does want to understand the what, how, and why of what we are doing to incorporate that into her home life and/or her teaching methods. Then I gave her the name of a couple of books that she could read to learn more. She seemed receptive but she wanted more. By now, I am starting to sweat. She was interrogating me it seemed. I was completely unprepared for this. I started citing examples from our home, how Alex is 'doing math' calculating allowance and figuring out the baseball card stuff, how he has asked for algebra books (though he hasn't really looked at them yet), how he learned to read by watching the TV Guide channel (looking for his favorite programs), etc......
She didn't seem satisfied yet. She still kept asking, "but how do they get the foundation for later things if you don't TEACH them?" Her husband is a college professor who has a couple of homeschooled kids in his classes. He said that it seemed the homeschooled ones don't seem to do well in the classroom situation. They are having trouble getting used to the 'system'. I asked her if they wanted to BE there? She didn't know.
Then, I told her about my husband who quit high school at 17, never went to college, started as a janitor, and is now an engineer. She said, "well, he won't be able to get a job at another plant without his degree, will he?" I told her that "actually, yes. He's had many offers over the years from others who know him and have moved to other companies, from the sales guys he knows, etc. We have had job opportunities in Mexico, Germany (we really wanted to go but it didn't work out), Texas, and South Carolina in the last 5 years." I was a little snippy about that comment from her but I am so proud of what my husband has accomplished without college or a degree. It proves (to me) that you CAN do whatever you want if you put forth the effort and you have a genuine desire to succeed.
I finally ended the conversation by telling her that I feel confident that my children will learn what they need, when they need it. That it is a factor of desire to know that drives their education and I believe they can do anything they want to as/when they grow.
Lastly, she asked if we had a church. I just couldn't tell her that I am not a christian. I was already exhausted from our first subject. She invited me to come "they have wonderful children's programs" but all I could do was smile and nod and thank her.
So, now I have survived my first interrogation by a teacher. As I said earlier, I think I was a lot more defensive than I should have been but she just kept asking questions! We were waiting for our children to finish cheer practice so there was no escape.
How I wished I had someone to call last night to vent this out of my system but I don't know any unschoolers personally. Thanks for letting me vent here.
Kimber
The Robbins' Nest
ds Alex (9 3/4) and dd Mady (7)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My daughter just started a cheerleading program at a local Baptist church....Upwards is the name of the program. It is actually quite nice for a nonchurchy person. My daughter has announced many times that she is a Christian and she can't really understand why my husband and I are not but that's another story........
Anyway, we joined late and my daughter(just turned 7) got to be on the same team with another friend who is in the 3rd grade. They placed her with the 3rd and 4th graders instead of the 1st/2nd grade group. I am fine with it.....Mady is fine with it......but the mothers keep asking me, "Is she a 4th grader???" and it leads to the homeschooling discussions when I tell them she is 7 and not in a 'grade'.
One mother asked the usual question, "so,............what curriculum do you use?"
Me: "We don't use curriculum."
Her: "Oh,......(long pause) we used Abeka for the girls until they were old enough to start school and it really gave them a good start."
Me: "That's nice"
End of conversation. Whew. Survived the unending questions from her. Then comes in mother #2.
Mother #2 is a special education teacher with 3 or 4 adopted children with various disabilities. Her main question ( I initially took it as concern for what I am doing with my children) was how do they learn the BASICS?? Well, I gave her the "from everyday life" answer and she wanted more. But HOW?? I said that I was secure and confident that my children would learn what they need when they need it.
Then I realized that maybe she really does want to understand the what, how, and why of what we are doing to incorporate that into her home life and/or her teaching methods. Then I gave her the name of a couple of books that she could read to learn more. She seemed receptive but she wanted more. By now, I am starting to sweat. She was interrogating me it seemed. I was completely unprepared for this. I started citing examples from our home, how Alex is 'doing math' calculating allowance and figuring out the baseball card stuff, how he has asked for algebra books (though he hasn't really looked at them yet), how he learned to read by watching the TV Guide channel (looking for his favorite programs), etc......
She didn't seem satisfied yet. She still kept asking, "but how do they get the foundation for later things if you don't TEACH them?" Her husband is a college professor who has a couple of homeschooled kids in his classes. He said that it seemed the homeschooled ones don't seem to do well in the classroom situation. They are having trouble getting used to the 'system'. I asked her if they wanted to BE there? She didn't know.
Then, I told her about my husband who quit high school at 17, never went to college, started as a janitor, and is now an engineer. She said, "well, he won't be able to get a job at another plant without his degree, will he?" I told her that "actually, yes. He's had many offers over the years from others who know him and have moved to other companies, from the sales guys he knows, etc. We have had job opportunities in Mexico, Germany (we really wanted to go but it didn't work out), Texas, and South Carolina in the last 5 years." I was a little snippy about that comment from her but I am so proud of what my husband has accomplished without college or a degree. It proves (to me) that you CAN do whatever you want if you put forth the effort and you have a genuine desire to succeed.
I finally ended the conversation by telling her that I feel confident that my children will learn what they need, when they need it. That it is a factor of desire to know that drives their education and I believe they can do anything they want to as/when they grow.
Lastly, she asked if we had a church. I just couldn't tell her that I am not a christian. I was already exhausted from our first subject. She invited me to come "they have wonderful children's programs" but all I could do was smile and nod and thank her.
So, now I have survived my first interrogation by a teacher. As I said earlier, I think I was a lot more defensive than I should have been but she just kept asking questions! We were waiting for our children to finish cheer practice so there was no escape.
How I wished I had someone to call last night to vent this out of my system but I don't know any unschoolers personally. Thanks for letting me vent here.
Kimber
The Robbins' Nest
ds Alex (9 3/4) and dd Mady (7)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/17/03 11:51:34 AM Eastern Standard Time,
snibbor@... writes:
It sounds like you did great. I try to answer in very short sentences. Not
much for them to think about. I sometimes get that in the homeschooling
group here. But now they just think I am the weird one. They don't quite
know what we "do". LOL You could have said you would love to have a
discussion with her at another time but now you are here to support your
daughter.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
snibbor@... writes:
> So, now I have survived my first interrogation by a teacher. As I saidKimber
> earlier, I think I was a lot more defensive than I should have been but she
> just kept asking questions! We were waiting for our children to finish
> cheer practice so there was no escape.
>
> How I wished I had someone to call last night to vent this out of my system
> but I don't know any unschoolers personally. Thanks for letting me vent
> here.
>
> Kimber
>
>
It sounds like you did great. I try to answer in very short sentences. Not
much for them to think about. I sometimes get that in the homeschooling
group here. But now they just think I am the weird one. They don't quite
know what we "do". LOL You could have said you would love to have a
discussion with her at another time but now you are here to support your
daughter.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/17/03 12:03:40 PM Eastern Standard Time, genant2@...
writes:
VERY familar to whats went on between me and my family ( parents, in laws,
sisters, etc) And having to defend myself and my decisions to my family is
espeically difficult in an emotional way. Ive cried myself to sleep many
nights since I decided to take this path. I feel isolated and abandoned by
those I love the most ( aside from my husband and children, that is)
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
writes:
> So, now I have survived my first interrogation by a teacherI havent gotten any interrogations by a teacher. But that scenario sounds
VERY familar to whats went on between me and my family ( parents, in laws,
sisters, etc) And having to defend myself and my decisions to my family is
espeically difficult in an emotional way. Ive cried myself to sleep many
nights since I decided to take this path. I feel isolated and abandoned by
those I love the most ( aside from my husband and children, that is)
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jim Selvage
Teresa,
I give you credit for even broaching the subject with relatives! I have
only told one sister, who had homeschooled her children for a while, and as
I would have put it then, did "nothing!" For some reason she feels that I
might understand her better now, lol. Of course, I still feel like she
should have made more opportunities for her children, had more books around,
returned books to the library so they could go back, etc. But, you know, in
spite of all that, her children are probably the best educated in the family
so far!
I haven't mentioned it to my parents. They still don't agree with the
homeschooling, so unschooling is going to be way beyond their comprehension.
When we were home for Christmas, my dad kept bringing up things he knew that
he thought my children should know by now, but didn't. His big one was
something about how you can make a perfect star by drawing a circle and
knowing the formula of how to divide it using a compass. I "casually"
mentioned how I had never done that (and I was the "best" in the family and
the first one in the family that graduated from college and took things like
calculus, of course I don't remember any of it, but that is a different
story.). He kept saying HE learned how to do that in the fifth grade or
something. But of course, he couldn't remember how to do it, so went and
looked it up on the internet.
When he came back out with the directions, he sat and worked at it for a
while and then said he was too tired, he would have to work on it in the
morning. My daughter asked if she could use his compass and stuff. He said
it was okay. She sat and played with the compass and other drafting
equipment for an hour or so.
I am not sure if she figured out how to draw the star, but she learned a lot
just doing stuff with the tools on her own. My dad of course, had gone to
bed, so he missed the light of discovery in her eyes as she compared radius
and diameter, etc. I didn't bring up the subject the next day, and my dad
didn't either, lol.
So, anyway, back to the subject. I am not planning on telling anyone about
this anytime soon. I plan on being very vague with everyone. In the case
that someone is actually interested, I have a lot to share, but other than
that mum is the word!
blessings,
erin
I give you credit for even broaching the subject with relatives! I have
only told one sister, who had homeschooled her children for a while, and as
I would have put it then, did "nothing!" For some reason she feels that I
might understand her better now, lol. Of course, I still feel like she
should have made more opportunities for her children, had more books around,
returned books to the library so they could go back, etc. But, you know, in
spite of all that, her children are probably the best educated in the family
so far!
I haven't mentioned it to my parents. They still don't agree with the
homeschooling, so unschooling is going to be way beyond their comprehension.
When we were home for Christmas, my dad kept bringing up things he knew that
he thought my children should know by now, but didn't. His big one was
something about how you can make a perfect star by drawing a circle and
knowing the formula of how to divide it using a compass. I "casually"
mentioned how I had never done that (and I was the "best" in the family and
the first one in the family that graduated from college and took things like
calculus, of course I don't remember any of it, but that is a different
story.). He kept saying HE learned how to do that in the fifth grade or
something. But of course, he couldn't remember how to do it, so went and
looked it up on the internet.
When he came back out with the directions, he sat and worked at it for a
while and then said he was too tired, he would have to work on it in the
morning. My daughter asked if she could use his compass and stuff. He said
it was okay. She sat and played with the compass and other drafting
equipment for an hour or so.
I am not sure if she figured out how to draw the star, but she learned a lot
just doing stuff with the tools on her own. My dad of course, had gone to
bed, so he missed the light of discovery in her eyes as she compared radius
and diameter, etc. I didn't bring up the subject the next day, and my dad
didn't either, lol.
So, anyway, back to the subject. I am not planning on telling anyone about
this anytime soon. I plan on being very vague with everyone. In the case
that someone is actually interested, I have a lot to share, but other than
that mum is the word!
blessings,
erin
>is
> > So, now I have survived my first interrogation by a teacher
>
> I havent gotten any interrogations by a teacher. But that scenario sounds
> VERY familar to whats went on between me and my family ( parents, in laws,
> sisters, etc) And having to defend myself and my decisions to my family
> espeically difficult in an emotional way. Ive cried myself to sleep manyby
> nights since I decided to take this path. I feel isolated and abandoned
> those I love the most ( aside from my husband and children, that is)
>
> Teresa
[email protected]
Come up with some questions to ask her, so that SHE is having to think, and
not just waiting for you to think.
Ask her about things she learned outside the classroom. Cooking? Sewing?
Skiing, horsebackriding, what? Hobbies?
You can just tell her things like "It's really hard to describe how it works,
but it DOES work."
You could write down "www.unschooling.com" and tell her she could read for
hours there, if she's interested.
Sandra
not just waiting for you to think.
Ask her about things she learned outside the classroom. Cooking? Sewing?
Skiing, horsebackriding, what? Hobbies?
You can just tell her things like "It's really hard to describe how it works,
but it DOES work."
You could write down "www.unschooling.com" and tell her she could read for
hours there, if she's interested.
Sandra
[email protected]
Oh! And tell her there are many former teachers who unschool. And you could
tell her it's based on the Open Classroom research done in the 1960's and
70's, but while schools couldn't get it to work with compulsory attendance,
families find it works BEAUTIFULLY if their children are home by choice.
And if you want to send her to a former teacher's website, here:
sandradodd.com
That's easy to remember. (For me it is, at least! HA!)
Sandra
tell her it's based on the Open Classroom research done in the 1960's and
70's, but while schools couldn't get it to work with compulsory attendance,
families find it works BEAUTIFULLY if their children are home by choice.
And if you want to send her to a former teacher's website, here:
sandradodd.com
That's easy to remember. (For me it is, at least! HA!)
Sandra
Pam Hartley
----------
It gets better and easier. Using real-life examples like baseball cards and
calculating allowance is perfect, IMHO.
You can also just laugh and say, "Hey, I feel like I'm on the witness stand!
Let me write down the names of those books, and if you still have questions
after you read them I'd be happy to talk to you more. So how long have your
kids been cheering?"
There's no legal obligation that you have to talk to people who make you
uncomfortable, even about unschooling. ;)
Pam
>From: [email protected]It's nerve-wracking the first time someone actually grills you, isn't it? :P
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 2887
>Date: Fri, Jan 17, 2003, 8:51 AM
>
> So, now I have survived my first interrogation by a teacher. As I said
> earlier, I think I was a lot more defensive than I should have been but she
> just kept asking questions! We were waiting for our children to finish
> cheer practice so there was no escape.
>
It gets better and easier. Using real-life examples like baseball cards and
calculating allowance is perfect, IMHO.
You can also just laugh and say, "Hey, I feel like I'm on the witness stand!
Let me write down the names of those books, and if you still have questions
after you read them I'd be happy to talk to you more. So how long have your
kids been cheering?"
There's no legal obligation that you have to talk to people who make you
uncomfortable, even about unschooling. ;)
Pam
The Robbins' Nest
<<<<<I havent gotten any interrogations by a teacher. But that scenario sounds
VERY familar to whats went on between me and my family ( parents, in laws,
sisters, etc) And having to defend myself and my decisions to my family is
espeically difficult in an emotional way. Ive cried myself to sleep many
nights since I decided to take this path. I feel isolated and abandoned by
those I love the most ( aside from my husband and children, that is)
Teresa
I will have to see this mother weekly until March so I am sure she will ask more questions. I just hope she has done her 'research' on unschooling before we chat again. I have read so many good comments from this list on how to reply to questioners but it is so different to be IN the spotlight and have to actually reply intelligently. Thanks for all of the great advice and support here everyone. I'll read up a little more and bring her a list of resources to check out for herself if she has more questions next time.........
Thanks again,
Kimber
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
VERY familar to whats went on between me and my family ( parents, in laws,
sisters, etc) And having to defend myself and my decisions to my family is
espeically difficult in an emotional way. Ive cried myself to sleep many
nights since I decided to take this path. I feel isolated and abandoned by
those I love the most ( aside from my husband and children, that is)
Teresa
>>>>>>>>>>>>>I, thankfully, have not had one problem with any family members on either side. I feel quite fortunate in that. My dad does ask occasionally if we are 'doing math' but he is usually satisfied with a couple of examples of what has gone on at the house lately and ends it at that. They see the results of taking Alex out of school and what it has done for his self esteem. So does my mother-in-law. (She got us a yearly membership to the local children's museum for Christmas! Just what we wanted!)
I will have to see this mother weekly until March so I am sure she will ask more questions. I just hope she has done her 'research' on unschooling before we chat again. I have read so many good comments from this list on how to reply to questioners but it is so different to be IN the spotlight and have to actually reply intelligently. Thanks for all of the great advice and support here everyone. I'll read up a little more and bring her a list of resources to check out for herself if she has more questions next time.........
Thanks again,
Kimber
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/17/03 12:45:16 PM Eastern Standard Time,
jselvage@... writes:
I ve tried that approach, and it has worked with casual acquaintances and
small talk. But my family is very close.. in proximity and also relationship
wise. My folks ask me and my kids outright.. "What time do you have "class"
"what are you studying" "what did you do/learn today"??? And of course,
when they dont get the acceptable answers, the interrogation begins. I have
two sisters.. one is totally on "their" side.. against home(un) schooling..
My other sister is much more open and understanding.. because her kids attend
a Magnet Montessori school that operates very much on an unschooling premise.
My mother was paying my tuition for me to go to college.. she said she
couldnt pay it anymore because " if your kids dont need to go to school, then
you dont need to go either" I only have one semester left to graduate.
We've went round and round over this.. I have started to just avoid them all
together, and thats what hurts..
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jselvage@... writes:
> So, anyway, back to the subject. I am not planning on telling anyone aboutErin,
> this anytime soon. I plan on being very vague with everyone. In the case
> that someone is actually interested, I have a lot to share, but other than
> that mum is the word!
>
> blessings,
> erin
>
I ve tried that approach, and it has worked with casual acquaintances and
small talk. But my family is very close.. in proximity and also relationship
wise. My folks ask me and my kids outright.. "What time do you have "class"
"what are you studying" "what did you do/learn today"??? And of course,
when they dont get the acceptable answers, the interrogation begins. I have
two sisters.. one is totally on "their" side.. against home(un) schooling..
My other sister is much more open and understanding.. because her kids attend
a Magnet Montessori school that operates very much on an unschooling premise.
My mother was paying my tuition for me to go to college.. she said she
couldnt pay it anymore because " if your kids dont need to go to school, then
you dont need to go either" I only have one semester left to graduate.
We've went round and round over this.. I have started to just avoid them all
together, and thats what hurts..
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Alan & Brenda Leonard
1/17/03 17:51:
conversations some times feeling like I was defensive, even though I didn't
want to be. But when someone keeps asking you to defend what you do, then
it's hard to not be defensive!
If it helps, I've lately been telling people we use a variety of learning
materials when they ask about curriculum. If they press on, I'll says
something equally non-commital about diverse materials and start
chatt(ering) about a trip to the zoo or something and how wonderful it is to
have those kind of resource, too, etc.
Enjoy cheer practice next week, and polish up your "I'm not Christian"
answers..... ;)
brenda
> Okay, I had my first encounter with a questioning parent about ourActually, it sounds to me like you did really well! I know I come away from
> homeschooling. I mean, really questioning. I think I came off as a little
> defensive, even though I don't feel that way. I am very secure in our
> decision to unschool but it was very hard to explain the concept (she said she
> had never heard of it) and not take her questions personally. Ugghhh!!
conversations some times feeling like I was defensive, even though I didn't
want to be. But when someone keeps asking you to defend what you do, then
it's hard to not be defensive!
If it helps, I've lately been telling people we use a variety of learning
materials when they ask about curriculum. If they press on, I'll says
something equally non-commital about diverse materials and start
chatt(ering) about a trip to the zoo or something and how wonderful it is to
have those kind of resource, too, etc.
Enjoy cheer practice next week, and polish up your "I'm not Christian"
answers..... ;)
brenda
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/17/2003 12:46:44 PM Eastern Standard Time,
jselvage@... writes:> So, anyway, back to the subject. I am not planning
become "second nature" as to what to say. When asked, eventually, you will
respond openly, confidently, and casually---with FEELING! It happens! It
really does!
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jselvage@... writes:> So, anyway, back to the subject. I am not planning
> on telling anyone aboutGood idea, Erin. Then as you read and write more and more often here, it'll
> this anytime soon. I plan on being very vague with everyone. In the case
> that someone is actually interested, I have a lot to share, but other than
> that mum is the word!
become "second nature" as to what to say. When asked, eventually, you will
respond openly, confidently, and casually---with FEELING! It happens! It
really does!
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
On Fri, 17 Jan 2003 10:38:53 -0600 "The Robbins' Nest"
<snibbor@...> writes:
it is redundant:
My husband has a friend that is a science teacher for a city high school.
He claims his job description is to teach the birds and the bees to the
animals and vegetables.(Not a whole lot of respect there). Well, we knew
this man for close to twenty years, but we never shared our ideas about
public schools with him.
When my daughter was about 4, the subject of education came up.
G- what school district are you in?
Me- not sure. Jenni isn't going to public school.(thinking Oh no..Here it
comes)
G- Oh? Which private school are you sending her to?
Me- Well, we aren't sending her to private school either...
G- (pause) You aren't one of *those* homeschooling people are you?
Me- Well, yes.
G- (in very elitist tone) You can't really think that you can educate
your children as effectively as someone who has trained and studied for
years to teach.
Me- Well, yes I do. And ultimately it is my responsibility.
G- What about [the dreaded "S" word] SOCIALIZATION?
I can see this going nowhere. I've known this man for many years, and
while his heart is in the right place, he is what I refer to as an
"Educated Idiot". He can't see past the text book in front of his nose or
the NEA dogma that he has been spoon fed for the past thirty years.
Me- I'll tell you what. Spend the day with Jenni and then come back and
talk to me.
So... Mr. K and Jenni spent the day together. She showed him the chickens
she was raising, the flowers and vegetables that she grew from seed,
showed him how to paint on the computer, how to make different colors on
her real pallet, chatted, played, explored. She did all the things that
she will do on any given day. I never let on to her that she was being
"tested" so she was just herself.
They came back after a little while.
G- That is amazing.
Me- What is amazing?
G- She knew her way around the computer better than I do, can hold up a
conversation as well as any 10th grade student, and even told me that she
bumped her gluteus maximus when she fell when chasing the chickens. And
she smiled all day.
Me- Now you know why I homeschool.
Our teacher friend has never again questioned our homeschooling
intentions, and often brings over surplus text books and workbooks for
her. (I have not gotten into the idea of unschooling with him)
I think people really need to see it to believe it.
Wende
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<snibbor@...> writes:
> So, now I have survived my first interrogation by a teacher. As II don't know if I told this story on this list before,so I apologize if
> said earlier, I think I was a lot more defensive than I should have
> been but she just kept asking questions! We were waiting for our
> children to finish cheer practice so there was no escape.
it is redundant:
My husband has a friend that is a science teacher for a city high school.
He claims his job description is to teach the birds and the bees to the
animals and vegetables.(Not a whole lot of respect there). Well, we knew
this man for close to twenty years, but we never shared our ideas about
public schools with him.
When my daughter was about 4, the subject of education came up.
G- what school district are you in?
Me- not sure. Jenni isn't going to public school.(thinking Oh no..Here it
comes)
G- Oh? Which private school are you sending her to?
Me- Well, we aren't sending her to private school either...
G- (pause) You aren't one of *those* homeschooling people are you?
Me- Well, yes.
G- (in very elitist tone) You can't really think that you can educate
your children as effectively as someone who has trained and studied for
years to teach.
Me- Well, yes I do. And ultimately it is my responsibility.
G- What about [the dreaded "S" word] SOCIALIZATION?
I can see this going nowhere. I've known this man for many years, and
while his heart is in the right place, he is what I refer to as an
"Educated Idiot". He can't see past the text book in front of his nose or
the NEA dogma that he has been spoon fed for the past thirty years.
Me- I'll tell you what. Spend the day with Jenni and then come back and
talk to me.
So... Mr. K and Jenni spent the day together. She showed him the chickens
she was raising, the flowers and vegetables that she grew from seed,
showed him how to paint on the computer, how to make different colors on
her real pallet, chatted, played, explored. She did all the things that
she will do on any given day. I never let on to her that she was being
"tested" so she was just herself.
They came back after a little while.
G- That is amazing.
Me- What is amazing?
G- She knew her way around the computer better than I do, can hold up a
conversation as well as any 10th grade student, and even told me that she
bumped her gluteus maximus when she fell when chasing the chickens. And
she smiled all day.
Me- Now you know why I homeschool.
Our teacher friend has never again questioned our homeschooling
intentions, and often brings over surplus text books and workbooks for
her. (I have not gotten into the idea of unschooling with him)
I think people really need to see it to believe it.
Wende
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Kelli Traaseth
Good job Kimber! Sounds like you did great!
I am constantly being questioned by family members, my inlaws, they are all teachers!
Fun, fun.
I am slowly getting less and less defensive, for me at first when I hadn't read enough or researched enough I would really feel it. Its getting better tho'.
One conversation that keeps getting brought up to me by my bil, a teacher, is that he really dislikes the unschooling term. He then thinks that I believe that school is a terrible rotten place for all people. I have never said such thing. He brings up the fact that he has worked in inner city schools where the schools have really helped some kids. I try and agree with him on that and discuss things on more of a natural learning basis. But it is still really difficult sometimes. I feel like he likes what he sees in our children but that he would be betraying the school system if he did it with his children?? Maybe I'm selfish, not worrying about all the other kids that might benefit from exposure to my children, but as a parent I feel its my job to do what's best for my kids.
Kelli
The Robbins' Nest <snibbor@...> wrote:<<<<<I havent gotten any interrogations by a teacher. But that scenario sounds
VERY familar to whats went on between me and my family ( parents, in laws,
sisters, etc) And having to defend myself and my decisions to my family is
espeically difficult in an emotional way. Ive cried myself to sleep many
nights since I decided to take this path. I feel isolated and abandoned by
those I love the most ( aside from my husband and children, that is)
Teresa
I will have to see this mother weekly until March so I am sure she will ask more questions. I just hope she has done her 'research' on unschooling before we chat again. I have read so many good comments from this list on how to reply to questioners but it is so different to be IN the spotlight and have to actually reply intelligently. Thanks for all of the great advice and support here everyone. I'll read up a little more and bring her a list of resources to check out for herself if she has more questions next time.........
Thanks again,
Kimber
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I am constantly being questioned by family members, my inlaws, they are all teachers!
Fun, fun.
I am slowly getting less and less defensive, for me at first when I hadn't read enough or researched enough I would really feel it. Its getting better tho'.
One conversation that keeps getting brought up to me by my bil, a teacher, is that he really dislikes the unschooling term. He then thinks that I believe that school is a terrible rotten place for all people. I have never said such thing. He brings up the fact that he has worked in inner city schools where the schools have really helped some kids. I try and agree with him on that and discuss things on more of a natural learning basis. But it is still really difficult sometimes. I feel like he likes what he sees in our children but that he would be betraying the school system if he did it with his children?? Maybe I'm selfish, not worrying about all the other kids that might benefit from exposure to my children, but as a parent I feel its my job to do what's best for my kids.
Kelli
The Robbins' Nest <snibbor@...> wrote:<<<<<I havent gotten any interrogations by a teacher. But that scenario sounds
VERY familar to whats went on between me and my family ( parents, in laws,
sisters, etc) And having to defend myself and my decisions to my family is
espeically difficult in an emotional way. Ive cried myself to sleep many
nights since I decided to take this path. I feel isolated and abandoned by
those I love the most ( aside from my husband and children, that is)
Teresa
>>>>>>>>>>>>>I, thankfully, have not had one problem with any family members on either side. I feel quite fortunate in that. My dad does ask occasionally if we are 'doing math' but he is usually satisfied with a couple of examples of what has gone on at the house lately and ends it at that. They see the results of taking Alex out of school and what it has done for his self esteem. So does my mother-in-law. (She got us a yearly membership to the local children's museum for Christmas! Just what we wanted!)
I will have to see this mother weekly until March so I am sure she will ask more questions. I just hope she has done her 'research' on unschooling before we chat again. I have read so many good comments from this list on how to reply to questioners but it is so different to be IN the spotlight and have to actually reply intelligently. Thanks for all of the great advice and support here everyone. I'll read up a little more and bring her a list of resources to check out for herself if she has more questions next time.........
Thanks again,
Kimber
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[email protected]
In a message dated 1/17/2003 10:51:26 AM Central Standard Time,
snibbor@... writes:
I loved you comment!! LOL how fantatic that you thought of this! You are not
alone,
infact I have had this happen, and don't know no at this time how much I
would
even bother to share. It really shut people up when I would tell him that I
took
my son from public school when I found out he was being abused as a special
education student. Their eyes bulged at the horror. Needless to say, anything
I could do for him at home was in their eyes fantastic. Got lots of
compliments.\
Linda L.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
snibbor@... writes:
> They are having trouble getting used to the 'system'. I asked her if theyYOU Go Girl!
> wanted to BE there? She didn't know.
I loved you comment!! LOL how fantatic that you thought of this! You are not
alone,
infact I have had this happen, and don't know no at this time how much I
would
even bother to share. It really shut people up when I would tell him that I
took
my son from public school when I found out he was being abused as a special
education student. Their eyes bulged at the horror. Needless to say, anything
I could do for him at home was in their eyes fantastic. Got lots of
compliments.\
Linda L.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
On Fri, 17 Jan 2003 14:13:37 -0800 (PST) Kelli Traaseth
<kellitraas@...> writes:
I feel like he likes what he sees in our
know, both personally and casually, who defend the public school system
to what seems their death, all send their children to private schools.
What they claim is appropriate for the general populous, just isn't right
for their own children. Their loyalty to the school system always ends
with their own children. Are they just lying to themselves trying to
justify their positions? Just an observation and me pondering again.
Wende
________________________________________________________________
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<kellitraas@...> writes:
I feel like he likes what he sees in our
> children but that he would be betraying the school system if he didThis brings a thought to my mind. I have noticed that the teachers I
> it with his children??
know, both personally and casually, who defend the public school system
to what seems their death, all send their children to private schools.
What they claim is appropriate for the general populous, just isn't right
for their own children. Their loyalty to the school system always ends
with their own children. Are they just lying to themselves trying to
justify their positions? Just an observation and me pondering again.
Wende
________________________________________________________________
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[email protected]
In a message dated 1/17/03 5:16:17 PM, kellitraas@... writes:
<< One conversation that keeps getting brought up to me by my bil, a teacher,
is that he really dislikes the unschooling term. >>
I just had a conversation yesterday with a friend who questions me
periodically about homeschooling. When I told him that I'm an unschooler
now, he got concerned and questioned me more. He was worried that I was just
leaving my children to discover the world on their own without any input from
me. We talked awhile more and suddenly I could see the light bulb go on and
he got it.
He had been equating unschooling with unlearning. He thought that I was going
to shield my kids from any learning situation.
He talked about how when he was a teacher, he wanted to follow the children's
interests, but just got into trouble with the higher ups and eventually
abandoned teaching.
Regina
<< One conversation that keeps getting brought up to me by my bil, a teacher,
is that he really dislikes the unschooling term. >>
I just had a conversation yesterday with a friend who questions me
periodically about homeschooling. When I told him that I'm an unschooler
now, he got concerned and questioned me more. He was worried that I was just
leaving my children to discover the world on their own without any input from
me. We talked awhile more and suddenly I could see the light bulb go on and
he got it.
He had been equating unschooling with unlearning. He thought that I was going
to shield my kids from any learning situation.
He talked about how when he was a teacher, he wanted to follow the children's
interests, but just got into trouble with the higher ups and eventually
abandoned teaching.
Regina
Jim Selvage
Teresa,
I am so sorry that your mom is being so difficult about your schooling. I
could imagine my parents doing the same thing, but fortunately I finished
college a long time ago (without any help from them). I don't have answers
for you. Maybe you can find a way to finance the schooling so you don't
have to depend on your mom. I did that, but I was much younger at the time
and didn't have children, lol.
All of my family is in California or Nevada and we are in North Dakota, so
they obviously do not have any idea what is going on from day to day. I do
mention when we do special things, like the musical, or ice skating, 4H
stuff, piano recitals, etc. But I really avoid the subject of schooling.
They always have felt I am doing my children a disservice by homeschooling
them, and we have just agreed to disagree.
I suppose you could talk to them about what the children are learning, using
"education-ease" but I am not sure that would solve the problem. Hopefully,
in time, they will see that children do not have to be taught to learn.
many blessings,
erin
-----
I am so sorry that your mom is being so difficult about your schooling. I
could imagine my parents doing the same thing, but fortunately I finished
college a long time ago (without any help from them). I don't have answers
for you. Maybe you can find a way to finance the schooling so you don't
have to depend on your mom. I did that, but I was much younger at the time
and didn't have children, lol.
All of my family is in California or Nevada and we are in North Dakota, so
they obviously do not have any idea what is going on from day to day. I do
mention when we do special things, like the musical, or ice skating, 4H
stuff, piano recitals, etc. But I really avoid the subject of schooling.
They always have felt I am doing my children a disservice by homeschooling
them, and we have just agreed to disagree.
I suppose you could talk to them about what the children are learning, using
"education-ease" but I am not sure that would solve the problem. Hopefully,
in time, they will see that children do not have to be taught to learn.
many blessings,
erin
-----
> Erin,relationship
> I ve tried that approach, and it has worked with casual acquaintances and
> small talk. But my family is very close.. in proximity and also
> wise. My folks ask me and my kids outright.. "What time do you have"class"
> "what are you studying" "what did you do/learn today"??? And of course,have
> when they dont get the acceptable answers, the interrogation begins. I
> two sisters.. one is totally on "their" side.. against home(un)schooling..
> My other sister is much more open and understanding.. because her kidsattend
> a Magnet Montessori school that operates very much on an unschoolingpremise.
> My mother was paying my tuition for me to go to college.. she said shethen
> couldnt pay it anymore because " if your kids dont need to go to school,
> you dont need to go either" I only have one semester left to graduate.all
> We've went round and round over this.. I have started to just avoid them
> together, and thats what hurts..
>
> Teresa
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/17/03 8:30:00 PM Eastern Standard Time,
jselvage@... writes:
had to register on the very last day possible of late registration, but I
managed to get a few classes. Only one is on campus and it is from 8-9:20am
Ive never been able to take a class that early because I was delivering kids
to school This works out great because the kids are still in bed when I get
home @ 9:30.. My other 3 classes are online.. My online courses have been a
lifesaver.. so much more flexible.. I only have one more semester, so,
hopefully I can finish by next Fall. Thanks for the support
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jselvage@... writes:
> Maybe you can find a way to finance the schooling so you don'tWell, we got lucky this semester and scraped up the tuition ourselves... I
> have to depend on your mom
had to register on the very last day possible of late registration, but I
managed to get a few classes. Only one is on campus and it is from 8-9:20am
Ive never been able to take a class that early because I was delivering kids
to school This works out great because the kids are still in bed when I get
home @ 9:30.. My other 3 classes are online.. My online courses have been a
lifesaver.. so much more flexible.. I only have one more semester, so,
hopefully I can finish by next Fall. Thanks for the support
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/17/03 4:37:29 PM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
<< Enjoy cheer practice next week, and polish up your "I'm not Christian"
answers..... ;) >>
Usually the "I don't go to church" is enough to shut people up!!
Ren
"The world's much smaller than you think. Made up of two kinds of
people--simple and complicated.....The simple ones are contented. The
complicated ones aren't."
"Unschooling support at pensacolaunschoolers.com
[email protected] writes:
<< Enjoy cheer practice next week, and polish up your "I'm not Christian"
answers..... ;) >>
Usually the "I don't go to church" is enough to shut people up!!
Ren
"The world's much smaller than you think. Made up of two kinds of
people--simple and complicated.....The simple ones are contented. The
complicated ones aren't."
"Unschooling support at pensacolaunschoolers.com
Julie Bogart <[email protected]>
--- In [email protected], love-it-here@j...
wrote:
our pediatrician in California. He started out a bit skeptical of me
period. Homebirths, nursing until they were two, no bottles and
then homeschool. But my kids were so well-behaved and yet
very inquisitive. I remember distinctly being in his office for an ear
infection. My then five year old wouldn't let the doctor look in his
ear until the doctor had explained the entire ear cavity and what
an ear infection looked like (using charts and big words). My son
then gave his understanding of how the ear worked and the
doctor stodd there aghast.
He said to me that day, "This is incredible. I never have kids
whoa re interested in what I'm doing to them. They usually just
want it over with and don't like to chat."
Two years later, the same doctor was asking me how to start
homeschooling. He wanted to persuade his wife to give up her
practice (she was an MD too) to homeschool their two kids. I
gave come book recommendations. I wish I had thought to
suggest HE homeschool them and let her keep working. :)
According to him, she was pretty resistant.
Anyway, we can show people the value of living this way if they
have enough chances to know us.
Julie
wrote:
> G- That is amazing.hold up a
> Me- What is amazing?
> G- She knew her way around the computer better than I do, can
> conversation as well as any 10th grade student, and even toldme that she
> bumped her gluteus maximus when she fell when chasing thechickens. And
> she smiled all day.Wende, I love this story. We experienced something similar with
> Me- Now you know why I homeschool.
our pediatrician in California. He started out a bit skeptical of me
period. Homebirths, nursing until they were two, no bottles and
then homeschool. But my kids were so well-behaved and yet
very inquisitive. I remember distinctly being in his office for an ear
infection. My then five year old wouldn't let the doctor look in his
ear until the doctor had explained the entire ear cavity and what
an ear infection looked like (using charts and big words). My son
then gave his understanding of how the ear worked and the
doctor stodd there aghast.
He said to me that day, "This is incredible. I never have kids
whoa re interested in what I'm doing to them. They usually just
want it over with and don't like to chat."
Two years later, the same doctor was asking me how to start
homeschooling. He wanted to persuade his wife to give up her
practice (she was an MD too) to homeschool their two kids. I
gave come book recommendations. I wish I had thought to
suggest HE homeschool them and let her keep working. :)
According to him, she was pretty resistant.
Anyway, we can show people the value of living this way if they
have enough chances to know us.
Julie
kayb85 <[email protected]>
> He talked about how when he was a teacher, he wanted to follow thechildren's
> interests, but just got into trouble with the higher ups andeventually
> abandoned teaching.Hmmm...sounds familiar, doesn't it? Perhaps he would benefit from
>
> Regina
borrowing some John Holt books.
Sheila
[email protected]
On Sat, 18 Jan 2003 02:26:47 -0000 "Julie Bogart <julie@...>"
<julie@...> writes:
You are fortunate that you had a cooperative doctor. Last January my
husband was in the garage working when he broke his leg at about 1:00am.
I pulled the girls out of bed and took him to the emergency room. As the
ER doctor is looking my husband over, dd kept chatting with the doctor.
She wanted to know what happened. The doctor told her that he broke his
leg. She wanted to know which bone. The doctor told her the one at the
bottom. She wanted to know exactly which bone. The doctor had no interest
in talking to her (understandably, as the ER was packed) When we finally
got home, the first thing she did was go get an anatomy book off her
shelf. "Now Mom, show me which bone." So we went all through the
skeleton, and she made up a new and improved version of that song "Dried
bones"(I think) using all the technical names of the bones. Then she
wanted to look at the pictures of muscles. She started cracking up when
looking at the butt muscles, and wanted to know what they were called. I
told her that they were the gluteus maximus. She told me my gluteus
maximuses were big [thanks!] Ever since she has always just called buns
gluteus maximus, and always giggles like crazy when saying it. And just
imagine, she wouldn't be learning this stuff in school till what, 5th or
6th grade?
Wende
________________________________________________________________
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<julie@...> writes:
> Wende, I love this story. We experienced something similar withJulie,
> our pediatrician in California. He started out a bit skeptical of me
>
> period. Homebirths, nursing until they were two, no bottles and
> then homeschool. But my kids were so well-behaved and yet
> very inquisitive. I remember distinctly being in his office for an ear
> infection. My then five year old wouldn't let the doctor look in his
> ear until the doctor had explained the entire ear cavity and what
> an ear infection looked like (using charts and big words). My son
> then gave his understanding of how the ear worked and the
> doctor stodd there aghast.
>
> He said to me that day, "This is incredible. I never have kids
> whoa re interested in what I'm doing to them. They usually just
> want it over with and don't like to chat."
You are fortunate that you had a cooperative doctor. Last January my
husband was in the garage working when he broke his leg at about 1:00am.
I pulled the girls out of bed and took him to the emergency room. As the
ER doctor is looking my husband over, dd kept chatting with the doctor.
She wanted to know what happened. The doctor told her that he broke his
leg. She wanted to know which bone. The doctor told her the one at the
bottom. She wanted to know exactly which bone. The doctor had no interest
in talking to her (understandably, as the ER was packed) When we finally
got home, the first thing she did was go get an anatomy book off her
shelf. "Now Mom, show me which bone." So we went all through the
skeleton, and she made up a new and improved version of that song "Dried
bones"(I think) using all the technical names of the bones. Then she
wanted to look at the pictures of muscles. She started cracking up when
looking at the butt muscles, and wanted to know what they were called. I
told her that they were the gluteus maximus. She told me my gluteus
maximuses were big [thanks!] Ever since she has always just called buns
gluteus maximus, and always giggles like crazy when saying it. And just
imagine, she wouldn't be learning this stuff in school till what, 5th or
6th grade?
Wende
________________________________________________________________
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Kelli Traaseth
**I have noticed that the teachers I
know, both personally and casually, who defend the public school system
to what seems their death, all send their children to private schools.**
Yes, this is a very common thing here also, although it isn't happening in my husbands family. I also know several principals kids who go to the private school here!
It speaks volumes!
Kelli
love-it-here@... wrote:
On Fri, 17 Jan 2003 14:13:37 -0800 (PST) Kelli Traaseth
<kellitraas@...> writes:
I feel like he likes what he sees in our
know, both personally and casually, who defend the public school system
to what seems their death, all send their children to private schools.
What they claim is appropriate for the general populous, just isn't right
for their own children. Their loyalty to the school system always ends
with their own children. Are they just lying to themselves trying to
justify their positions? Just an observation and me pondering again.
Wende
________________________________________________________________
Sign Up for Juno Platinum Internet Access Today
Only $9.95 per month!
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~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
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William Wordsworth
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
know, both personally and casually, who defend the public school system
to what seems their death, all send their children to private schools.**
Yes, this is a very common thing here also, although it isn't happening in my husbands family. I also know several principals kids who go to the private school here!
It speaks volumes!
Kelli
love-it-here@... wrote:
On Fri, 17 Jan 2003 14:13:37 -0800 (PST) Kelli Traaseth
<kellitraas@...> writes:
I feel like he likes what he sees in our
> children but that he would be betraying the school system if he didThis brings a thought to my mind. I have noticed that the teachers I
> it with his children??
know, both personally and casually, who defend the public school system
to what seems their death, all send their children to private schools.
What they claim is appropriate for the general populous, just isn't right
for their own children. Their loyalty to the school system always ends
with their own children. Are they just lying to themselves trying to
justify their positions? Just an observation and me pondering again.
Wende
________________________________________________________________
Sign Up for Juno Platinum Internet Access Today
Only $9.95 per month!
Visit www.juno.com
Yahoo! Groups SponsorADVERTISEMENT
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
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Come forth into the light of things, let Nature be your teacher.
William Wordsworth
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/17/03 8:51:21 AM Pacific Standard Time,
snibbor@... writes:
asked a lot of questions about how they're teaching their children. I know
in the past when I first started discussing my families' decision to
homeschool, I got blank stares, and bombarded with lots of questions. I
think it's important to explain to others, who want to know and understand,
what unschooling, or homeschooling is all about. By the end of the
conversation, they may have a better understanding, and it may give them the
desire to look into it more. Unschoolers and homeschoolers could give them a
list of reference material and websites to look into it further and get a
better understanding of why parents choose to raise their children this way.
Patti
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
snibbor@... writes:
> So, now I have survived my first interrogation by a teacher. As I saidI think it's too bad that unschoolers, and homeschoolers, feel defensive when
> earlier, I think I was a lot more defensive than I should have been but she
> just kept asking questions! We were waiting for our children to finish
> cheer practice so there was no escape
asked a lot of questions about how they're teaching their children. I know
in the past when I first started discussing my families' decision to
homeschool, I got blank stares, and bombarded with lots of questions. I
think it's important to explain to others, who want to know and understand,
what unschooling, or homeschooling is all about. By the end of the
conversation, they may have a better understanding, and it may give them the
desire to look into it more. Unschoolers and homeschoolers could give them a
list of reference material and websites to look into it further and get a
better understanding of why parents choose to raise their children this way.
Patti
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/17/03 10:17:50 AM Pacific Standard Time, grlynbl@...
writes:
something that is weird to most people. The reason for this is because they
don't really know anything about it. They draw conclusions about what
children must be like who are homeschooled. Because most parents went to
school, they cannot begin to understand why anyone would want to homeschool,
especially unschool, their chidlren. They also may take it very personally.
They may think, "I went to school, and you went to school, so what's wrong
with that? Does this mean you think I made a mistake by sending you to
school? You feel I made a bad choice?"
When I first told my parents about the decision to homeschool, I didn't
realize at first that they were defensive because my choice, in their minds,
was telling them that their choice wasn't right. My main decision to
homeschool had more to do with how children learn best than the environment
of bullying and teasing, drugs, etc. After I realized that my decision to
homeschool made them feel like I was telling them they made a bad choice in
sending me to school, I had a talk with them. I explained to them that their
choice to send me to school wasn't a bad choice. There were not many
homeschoolers back in the '60's and early '70's, so even if I knew about it
and I had kids then, I most likely wouldn't have homeschooled them. I
explained to them with the support groups and technology, and the laws in
Michigan we have now that it's a much better time to homeschool, in regards
to the resources and information available. After talking to them, it was
amazing how quickly they began to support our decision to homeschool. My
mother and father are all for it and they even inform me when there's
anything on TV about homeschooling. Although they are for it, we have
different views about homeschooling. I told them upfront that I will not be
giving my kids tests, using textbooks (unless kids want to), have a schedule,
no spelling tests, no lesson plans (not that we won't plan things), etc. I
know this is hard for them to understand but I explained it to them that
children don't have to have specific times to learn, sit at a table and work
on worksheets and tests, and learn the way children at school learn. I told
them if I'm going to do that, I misewell just send them to school. I told
them I feel strongly that my kids will learn best by making choices on what
they want to do for the day. This doesn't mean I won't be there to encourage
them, give them suggestions, find materials I think they'll love, and answer
questions. My father is beginning to understand, but he still has doubts and
concerns. I think this is normal because so do I.
I don't think it's ever too late to open up the communications channel. I
didn't think my parents would come around so quickly, but they did. If you
talk to them and explain all the reasons why you want to homeschool
(unschool), give them some material to read on homeschooling or unschooling,
give them some material to read on the failure and negative aspects of
schools, let them know that you are not upset with them for sending you to
school (unless you have anger and resentment for this), let them read success
stories of people who were homeschooled (the book Homeschoolers' Success
Stories by Linda Dobson is great) and meet children and families who are
homeschooled, it may help them understand and give them a realistic feeling
of what homeschooling is about. I didn't give details about how I was going
to homeschool until quite a bit later than when I first started discussing it.
Patti
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
writes:
> I ve tried that approach, and it has worked with casual acquaintances andIt's very difficult to explain to parents about homeschooling. It's
> small talk. But my family is very close.. in proximity and also
> relationship
> wise. My folks ask me and my kids outright.. "What time do you have
> "class"
> "what are you studying" "what did you do/learn today"??? And of course,
> when they dont get the acceptable answers, the interrogation begins. I
> have
> two sisters.. one is totally on "their" side.. against home(un) schooling..
> My other sister is much more open and understanding.. because her kids
> attend
> a Magnet Montessori school that operates very much on an unschooling
> premise.
something that is weird to most people. The reason for this is because they
don't really know anything about it. They draw conclusions about what
children must be like who are homeschooled. Because most parents went to
school, they cannot begin to understand why anyone would want to homeschool,
especially unschool, their chidlren. They also may take it very personally.
They may think, "I went to school, and you went to school, so what's wrong
with that? Does this mean you think I made a mistake by sending you to
school? You feel I made a bad choice?"
When I first told my parents about the decision to homeschool, I didn't
realize at first that they were defensive because my choice, in their minds,
was telling them that their choice wasn't right. My main decision to
homeschool had more to do with how children learn best than the environment
of bullying and teasing, drugs, etc. After I realized that my decision to
homeschool made them feel like I was telling them they made a bad choice in
sending me to school, I had a talk with them. I explained to them that their
choice to send me to school wasn't a bad choice. There were not many
homeschoolers back in the '60's and early '70's, so even if I knew about it
and I had kids then, I most likely wouldn't have homeschooled them. I
explained to them with the support groups and technology, and the laws in
Michigan we have now that it's a much better time to homeschool, in regards
to the resources and information available. After talking to them, it was
amazing how quickly they began to support our decision to homeschool. My
mother and father are all for it and they even inform me when there's
anything on TV about homeschooling. Although they are for it, we have
different views about homeschooling. I told them upfront that I will not be
giving my kids tests, using textbooks (unless kids want to), have a schedule,
no spelling tests, no lesson plans (not that we won't plan things), etc. I
know this is hard for them to understand but I explained it to them that
children don't have to have specific times to learn, sit at a table and work
on worksheets and tests, and learn the way children at school learn. I told
them if I'm going to do that, I misewell just send them to school. I told
them I feel strongly that my kids will learn best by making choices on what
they want to do for the day. This doesn't mean I won't be there to encourage
them, give them suggestions, find materials I think they'll love, and answer
questions. My father is beginning to understand, but he still has doubts and
concerns. I think this is normal because so do I.
I don't think it's ever too late to open up the communications channel. I
didn't think my parents would come around so quickly, but they did. If you
talk to them and explain all the reasons why you want to homeschool
(unschool), give them some material to read on homeschooling or unschooling,
give them some material to read on the failure and negative aspects of
schools, let them know that you are not upset with them for sending you to
school (unless you have anger and resentment for this), let them read success
stories of people who were homeschooled (the book Homeschoolers' Success
Stories by Linda Dobson is great) and meet children and families who are
homeschooled, it may help them understand and give them a realistic feeling
of what homeschooling is about. I didn't give details about how I was going
to homeschool until quite a bit later than when I first started discussing it.
Patti
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/17/03 10:17:50 AM Pacific Standard Time, grlynbl@...
writes:
explain how their fun and playing gave way to learning. I realize my kids
are not of school-age yet (although many kids to go pre-school at their age)
and there really is no need to do this at their ages, 3 and 4 years old, but
I think it helps my family understand how everyday things are or can lead to
a big learning activity.
When my parents once asked my daughter what she did today, she said "I played
Barbies". My parents then asked me how she's coming with writing her name.
They asked me is she started practicing. I didn't answer them, but began
talking about her playing with Barbies. While playing with her Barbies, she
had real money that she would use to buy things at the pretend store she
made. She has done this for several days in a row and by playing she learned
all of her coins and how much each are worth. She even began adding coins
together, with my help, to figure out how much she needed to buy something.
It seemed to make them more relaxed about the idea of letting kids learn on
their own, or at least for that moment.
Another day my parents were talking to me about how my daughter was doing
with her writing (this seems to be such a big deal for them), and I said
fine. I began telling them how my son and daughter make their own breakfast
in the morning (with a little help), make their own hot chocolate milk, put
away their dishes in the sink, help me cook, and help me clean around the
house. I told them that this is very important because it gives them a sense
of accomplishment, it gives them confidence in their abilities, and they are
skills that are important as they get older.
Yet, another day my parents asked me the same question about my daughter
writing her name. I told them she enjoys writing her name and is doing fine.
They asked her what she was doing today and she said playing with Lincoln
Logs. She told them about the buildings she and her brother made, how the
big tornado knocked it down, and then gave them a detailed description of
what a tornado was and how important it is to go in the basement if we're
under a warning. I explained to them that her discovery of tornadoes has led
to her desire to learn about other natural things, like volcanoes and
lightning. They seemed to be very happy about her learning.
Another day, my daughter signed her name to a card that was for my parents.
They were very happy to see that she could write her name. I explained to
them that she learned to write her name by having a strong desire to do so.
She wanted to write her name on pictures that she drew and on the dry eraser
board. I didn't have to sit her down every day or on a regular basis to make
her write her name. This really helped them begin to understand my approach
to having my children learn what they want, when they want, how they want,
and where they want. They are starting to come around.
Patti
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
writes:
> "What time do you have "class"What I started doing right away, after relatives and others would ask, is
> "what are you studying" "what did you do/learn today"??? And of course,
> when they dont get the acceptable answers, the interrogation begins.
explain how their fun and playing gave way to learning. I realize my kids
are not of school-age yet (although many kids to go pre-school at their age)
and there really is no need to do this at their ages, 3 and 4 years old, but
I think it helps my family understand how everyday things are or can lead to
a big learning activity.
When my parents once asked my daughter what she did today, she said "I played
Barbies". My parents then asked me how she's coming with writing her name.
They asked me is she started practicing. I didn't answer them, but began
talking about her playing with Barbies. While playing with her Barbies, she
had real money that she would use to buy things at the pretend store she
made. She has done this for several days in a row and by playing she learned
all of her coins and how much each are worth. She even began adding coins
together, with my help, to figure out how much she needed to buy something.
It seemed to make them more relaxed about the idea of letting kids learn on
their own, or at least for that moment.
Another day my parents were talking to me about how my daughter was doing
with her writing (this seems to be such a big deal for them), and I said
fine. I began telling them how my son and daughter make their own breakfast
in the morning (with a little help), make their own hot chocolate milk, put
away their dishes in the sink, help me cook, and help me clean around the
house. I told them that this is very important because it gives them a sense
of accomplishment, it gives them confidence in their abilities, and they are
skills that are important as they get older.
Yet, another day my parents asked me the same question about my daughter
writing her name. I told them she enjoys writing her name and is doing fine.
They asked her what she was doing today and she said playing with Lincoln
Logs. She told them about the buildings she and her brother made, how the
big tornado knocked it down, and then gave them a detailed description of
what a tornado was and how important it is to go in the basement if we're
under a warning. I explained to them that her discovery of tornadoes has led
to her desire to learn about other natural things, like volcanoes and
lightning. They seemed to be very happy about her learning.
Another day, my daughter signed her name to a card that was for my parents.
They were very happy to see that she could write her name. I explained to
them that she learned to write her name by having a strong desire to do so.
She wanted to write her name on pictures that she drew and on the dry eraser
board. I didn't have to sit her down every day or on a regular basis to make
her write her name. This really helped them begin to understand my approach
to having my children learn what they want, when they want, how they want,
and where they want. They are starting to come around.
Patti
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/17/03 8:36:59 PM, sheran@... writes:
<<
borrowing some John Holt books. >>
Sounds more like he had already read Holt, believed it, tried it, and found
sadly that it can't work in the face of compulsory attendance and required
grade reporting.
Sandra, who has been right there
<<
> He talked about how when he was a teacher, he wanted to follow thechildren's
> interests, but just got into trouble with the higher ups andeventually
> abandoned teaching.Hmmm...sounds familiar, doesn't it? Perhaps he would benefit from
>
> Regina
borrowing some John Holt books. >>
Sounds more like he had already read Holt, believed it, tried it, and found
sadly that it can't work in the face of compulsory attendance and required
grade reporting.
Sandra, who has been right there
Julie Bogart <[email protected]>
--- In [email protected],
HappyMato2@a... wrote:
Patti, what have you done when your kids get the interrogation?
My poor 13 yodd went to dinner at a friend's house last night.
These are the support group leaders for our homeschool group.
My dd had shared a bit with her friend about our decision to put
the reins in the hands of the kids for their education. I made
certain that when she shared with her friends that she be careful
not to say, "We don't have to do school any more." However, no
matter how it gets explained, I'm finding out that kids hear "They
don't do school any more."
So while eating dinner, the mother asked my dd what history she
was studying. The friend piped up: "She doesn't have to do
history. She doesn't even have to do any school!" Needless to
say, this sparked quite an interrogation. Ironically my dd and I
had sat together that morning with the Teenage Liberation
Handbook laying out some ideas for her to pursue. She likes
having goals and a plan. So we took her interests and I helped
her brainstorm a variety of ways to study, write and enjoy her
interests (which just happen to include tree frogs, classic
literature, theater arts, French, Norse mythology and AIDs).
She was able to share some of these with concrete ideas she
has for investigating them, but she did feel like there were lots of
knowing glances being exchanged between parents. Funny
thing is, I spoke on unschooling to this group last year. They all
think I'm an unschooler. (According to the books and lists I was
on before, I thought so too. According to the definitions here, I
was an eclectic or relaxed homeschooler). But the idea that you
would not require any minimum requirements! Well this was too
much for them.
My dd's best answer did get their attention. She said, "You know,
before when my mom was requiring me to do Algebra, I would try
to put it off and hope to be invited to a friend's house so I could
skip it that day. Now that it's up to me, I want to make sure that I
get it done. Whether I go to college or not is dependent on me,
not my mom."
This impressed them, but the skepticism didn't go away that
easily. They all decided that my daughter is an exceptionally
motivated, unique "good" girl. (This is what I've always
heard--"Your kids are really neat. My kids aren't like yours. They
don't have interests. They would veg out all day in front of the TV
so I have to require things of them...") We've always appeared to
be very unstructured compared to everyone we know. And my
kids have always had a lot of diverse interests that they pursue
on their own.
Do you think kids ought to have to "defend" their way of
schooling? How have your kids handled these kinds of "on the
spot" interviews?
Julie B
HappyMato2@a... wrote:
> I think it's too bad that unschoolers, and homeschoolers, feeldefensive when
> asked a lot of questions about how they're teaching theirchildren. I know
> in the past when I first started discussing my families' decisionto
> homeschool, I got blank stares, and bombarded with lots ofquestions. I
> think it's important to explain to others, who want to know andunderstand,
> what unschooling, or homeschooling is all about. By the endof the
> conversation, they may have a better understanding, and it maygive them the
> desire to look into it more. Unschoolers and homeschoolerscould give them a
> list of reference material and websites to look into it further andget a
> better understanding of why parents choose to raise theirchildren this way.
Patti, what have you done when your kids get the interrogation?
My poor 13 yodd went to dinner at a friend's house last night.
These are the support group leaders for our homeschool group.
My dd had shared a bit with her friend about our decision to put
the reins in the hands of the kids for their education. I made
certain that when she shared with her friends that she be careful
not to say, "We don't have to do school any more." However, no
matter how it gets explained, I'm finding out that kids hear "They
don't do school any more."
So while eating dinner, the mother asked my dd what history she
was studying. The friend piped up: "She doesn't have to do
history. She doesn't even have to do any school!" Needless to
say, this sparked quite an interrogation. Ironically my dd and I
had sat together that morning with the Teenage Liberation
Handbook laying out some ideas for her to pursue. She likes
having goals and a plan. So we took her interests and I helped
her brainstorm a variety of ways to study, write and enjoy her
interests (which just happen to include tree frogs, classic
literature, theater arts, French, Norse mythology and AIDs).
She was able to share some of these with concrete ideas she
has for investigating them, but she did feel like there were lots of
knowing glances being exchanged between parents. Funny
thing is, I spoke on unschooling to this group last year. They all
think I'm an unschooler. (According to the books and lists I was
on before, I thought so too. According to the definitions here, I
was an eclectic or relaxed homeschooler). But the idea that you
would not require any minimum requirements! Well this was too
much for them.
My dd's best answer did get their attention. She said, "You know,
before when my mom was requiring me to do Algebra, I would try
to put it off and hope to be invited to a friend's house so I could
skip it that day. Now that it's up to me, I want to make sure that I
get it done. Whether I go to college or not is dependent on me,
not my mom."
This impressed them, but the skepticism didn't go away that
easily. They all decided that my daughter is an exceptionally
motivated, unique "good" girl. (This is what I've always
heard--"Your kids are really neat. My kids aren't like yours. They
don't have interests. They would veg out all day in front of the TV
so I have to require things of them...") We've always appeared to
be very unstructured compared to everyone we know. And my
kids have always had a lot of diverse interests that they pursue
on their own.
Do you think kids ought to have to "defend" their way of
schooling? How have your kids handled these kinds of "on the
spot" interviews?
Julie B
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/18/03 10:11:11 AM, julie@... writes:
<< "She doesn't have to do
history. >>
"to do" history
What a weird concept school stuck us with.
That history is something we "do."
Very, very sad.
Sandra
<< "She doesn't have to do
history. >>
"to do" history
What a weird concept school stuck us with.
That history is something we "do."
Very, very sad.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/18/03 10:11:11 AM, julie@... writes:
<< This impressed them, but the skepticism didn't go away that
easily. They all decided that my daughter is an exceptionally
motivated, unique "good" girl. >>
People say that sometimes about my kids too. Used to, anyway.
"Yeah, but your kids are really SMART."
or "Yes, but genetics..."
or "Of course YOU can make unschooling work [because you were a teacher,
because you're hyperactive, whatever they're aiming toward]."
But Holly has cited a couple of families she knows well and said (perhaps
rightly) "They could never be unschoolers."
So maybe in a way there's something to it.
Sandra
<< This impressed them, but the skepticism didn't go away that
easily. They all decided that my daughter is an exceptionally
motivated, unique "good" girl. >>
People say that sometimes about my kids too. Used to, anyway.
"Yeah, but your kids are really SMART."
or "Yes, but genetics..."
or "Of course YOU can make unschooling work [because you were a teacher,
because you're hyperactive, whatever they're aiming toward]."
But Holly has cited a couple of families she knows well and said (perhaps
rightly) "They could never be unschoolers."
So maybe in a way there's something to it.
Sandra