Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Trust was Braces, scholarships and stuff
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/16/03 6:13:19 PM Eastern Standard Time,
bunsofaluminum60@... writes:
him to the chair? Inject him with Versed when he's not looking? Lie and trick
him?
Control over children is an illusion unless you are willing to break their
will. When you allow the small choices in life when they are younger, they
will have the opportunity to *experience* the consequences of their
decisions, good or bad. They don't just have to take our "wiser adult" word
for it. They don't have to be punished to "teach" consequences. They LEARN
them.
Allow them the choices. TRUST in your children.
Don't just throw "Well, What if this should happen"'s at us because we can
discuss What If's forever and never touch a fractions of all the variables.
Look at your children TODAY. Look at all the wonderful decisions they are
making, some because of your input, some in spite of it. Look at their
ability to learn. Not just academics, but people skills, personal boundaries,
body consciousness. All by making choices, big and small.
Trust them. If you love and respect and trust them, they will have all you
want for them.
*~*Elissa Jill*~*
unschooling Momma to 3 beautiful brilliant people
Loving partner for life to Joey
terrible guitarist, fair singer and happy woman.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
bunsofaluminum60@... writes:
> I'm just trying to get a picture of how far and how deep the child'sHow in the world are you going to force a child to have braces put on? Tie
> personal choices go, when they might not truly understand the long
> term consequences of choosing foolishly.
>
> peace, Heidi
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
him to the chair? Inject him with Versed when he's not looking? Lie and trick
him?
Control over children is an illusion unless you are willing to break their
will. When you allow the small choices in life when they are younger, they
will have the opportunity to *experience* the consequences of their
decisions, good or bad. They don't just have to take our "wiser adult" word
for it. They don't have to be punished to "teach" consequences. They LEARN
them.
Allow them the choices. TRUST in your children.
Don't just throw "Well, What if this should happen"'s at us because we can
discuss What If's forever and never touch a fractions of all the variables.
Look at your children TODAY. Look at all the wonderful decisions they are
making, some because of your input, some in spite of it. Look at their
ability to learn. Not just academics, but people skills, personal boundaries,
body consciousness. All by making choices, big and small.
Trust them. If you love and respect and trust them, they will have all you
want for them.
*~*Elissa Jill*~*
unschooling Momma to 3 beautiful brilliant people
Loving partner for life to Joey
terrible guitarist, fair singer and happy woman.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
**I'm just trying to get a picture of how far and how deep the child's
personal choices go, when they might not truly understand the long term
consequences of choosing foolishly.**
As the adult, I try to be really really REALLY careful about why and when I
predict the future, that I describe ALL the possible consequences and not
concentrate on what I fear, or worst cases, while ignoring possible good
outcomes. I try to make sure I truly understand the long term consequences
myself before I discuss them with my child. Usually, they're not all that
clear cut, as for instance in your examples so far. Any orthodontist who
tells you that your child will definitely have a certain condition in 20
years with no current problems is lying.
**How in the world are you going to force a child to have braces put on?**
Say you do manage to force them. What would be the point? Any orthodontist
will tell you that without patient cooperation and motivation the treatment
will have questionable results and is likely to revert afterwards. I know
plenty of kids who didn't want braces, didn't use their bands consistently,
ignored brushing instructions and so had decay problems, and managed to lose
their retainers as soon as possible after getting them. Seems like a huge
waste of time, money, and energy to me. On the other hand kids who choose
braces seem to cooperate with the treatment and end up happy with their
results.
Deborah in IL
personal choices go, when they might not truly understand the long term
consequences of choosing foolishly.**
As the adult, I try to be really really REALLY careful about why and when I
predict the future, that I describe ALL the possible consequences and not
concentrate on what I fear, or worst cases, while ignoring possible good
outcomes. I try to make sure I truly understand the long term consequences
myself before I discuss them with my child. Usually, they're not all that
clear cut, as for instance in your examples so far. Any orthodontist who
tells you that your child will definitely have a certain condition in 20
years with no current problems is lying.
**How in the world are you going to force a child to have braces put on?**
Say you do manage to force them. What would be the point? Any orthodontist
will tell you that without patient cooperation and motivation the treatment
will have questionable results and is likely to revert afterwards. I know
plenty of kids who didn't want braces, didn't use their bands consistently,
ignored brushing instructions and so had decay problems, and managed to lose
their retainers as soon as possible after getting them. Seems like a huge
waste of time, money, and energy to me. On the other hand kids who choose
braces seem to cooperate with the treatment and end up happy with their
results.
Deborah in IL