Julie Bogart <[email protected]>

How have you dealt with this? Especially with the Internet and a
family computer... (Btw, the safe guards don't really work for
people who know how to get around them so I don't think we'll
use that method.)

At this time we've simply made it clear that we know the intrigue
is normal but we don't want it on our computers at home. But
how would we enforce that anyway?

Any thoughts?

Julie B

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/15/2003 10:44:33 PM Eastern Standard Time,
julie@... writes:


> How have you dealt with this? Especially with the Internet and a
> family computer... (Btw, the safe guards don't really work for
> people who know how to get around them so I don't think we'll
> use that method.)
>
> At this time we've simply made it clear that we know the intrigue
> is normal but we don't want it on our computers at home. But
> how would we enforce that anyway?
>

I don't know that you CAN "enforce" that. It's all about talk and trust.

What really burns ME up is the AOL and MSN commercials that say to trust
THEM. The "parents" have NO trust AT ALL in their children! And they imply
that all children are completely untrustworthy.

~Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Fetteroll

on 1/15/03 10:43 PM, Julie Bogart <julie@...> at
julie@... wrote:

> At this time we've simply made it clear that we know the intrigue
> is normal but we don't want it on our computers at home. But
> how would we enforce that anyway?

A lot is going to depend how curious they are to begin with. Some people are
more naturally hormonally charged and thus more curious than others.

And think about it this way: Boys tend to be more visual. Girls tend to be
more verbal. Girls can read bodice busters to get their curiosity
satisified. But boys get their curiosity blocked because there isn't any
acceptable "pornography" for boys.

Are pictures of naked women or even people having sex worse than reading
about 16 yos being raped repeatedly and then falling in love with their
massively muscled, large membered rapists? (If you've never read one the sex
is *very* graphic. Flowery language, but nothing is left to the imagination.
It's how *I* figured out the details about sex that no one felt I needed to
know at 15 ;-) They didn't lead to anything other than more books until I
met my future husband at 22.) And any girl can pick one up at any age
without most people even batting an eye. But boys don't have anything even
close to that.

If you say no, you're creating a forbidden fruit situation.

When we forbid something they really want and that stops them from
mentioning it, then it feels like we've stopped them from wanting it. But
what we've done is told them they can't be honest about what they need with
us. So they'll go to someone else or somewhere else. Perhaps someone or
somewhere we'd rather they didn't go to.

Joyce