Re: Things we HAVE to do
Julie Bogart <[email protected]>
This is creepy. I'm having a Sandra Dodd moment--I was just
sitting talking about this very topic with my dh tonight and now it's
on the list. (Enter twilight zone theme music)
He brought up a similar concern--shouldn't kids learn to do
things that they don't like for the discipline of it? (He was asking
this as a way to explore the question, not at all antagonistically).
I wondered too and then had this strange change come over me.
My own dh is a model of not sticking to what he doesn't really
like. He has switched jobs multiple times in our 18 years
togetherfrom missionary, to ESL teacher, to high school
English teacher to parttime professor, to self-employed, to
magazine editor to text book writer tto freelance writer/editor to
communications director at a church to IT director in his current
job. He also has a home business that he created from scratch.
Yes, there are people who end up in jobs they hate, who learn to
put up with living lives that they must simply gut out, but is that
the goal for our kids? Do we want them to feel they must learn
how to put up with what they don't want to do as a way to train
them to do what they don't want to do?
And as far as doing things that we choose to do that we don't
enjoy.... well it ocurred to me that there are plenty of years to
learn that. Why waste the precious years of childhood (where all
their expenses are paid, their lodging and clothing and food
needs are met, their safety is assured) on training them for a
time of life that in fact may not come! I would rather they start now
with a chance to discover who they are so that they will choose
lives that they fully embrace because they know themselves that
well.
We watched a new show on Bravo tonight called "The It Factor"
all about 9 young actors trying to make it in LA. it was fantastic.
Here are these young people laying themselves open every day
to rejection, negativity, and pain for the sake of their
passionacting. But they would clearly rather have a life that
included acting than live a life that avoided the repeated
rejections.
When we become mothers, we choose to give up sleep, privacy
and our time for the sake of others and don't always enjoy it. But
we've made a choice that is worth it to us. I want my kids to make
choices that cost them seomthing when it is worth the price. I
don't want them to pay up for something they care nothing for.
What a waste of childhood.
Julie B
sitting talking about this very topic with my dh tonight and now it's
on the list. (Enter twilight zone theme music)
He brought up a similar concern--shouldn't kids learn to do
things that they don't like for the discipline of it? (He was asking
this as a way to explore the question, not at all antagonistically).
I wondered too and then had this strange change come over me.
My own dh is a model of not sticking to what he doesn't really
like. He has switched jobs multiple times in our 18 years
togetherfrom missionary, to ESL teacher, to high school
English teacher to parttime professor, to self-employed, to
magazine editor to text book writer tto freelance writer/editor to
communications director at a church to IT director in his current
job. He also has a home business that he created from scratch.
Yes, there are people who end up in jobs they hate, who learn to
put up with living lives that they must simply gut out, but is that
the goal for our kids? Do we want them to feel they must learn
how to put up with what they don't want to do as a way to train
them to do what they don't want to do?
And as far as doing things that we choose to do that we don't
enjoy.... well it ocurred to me that there are plenty of years to
learn that. Why waste the precious years of childhood (where all
their expenses are paid, their lodging and clothing and food
needs are met, their safety is assured) on training them for a
time of life that in fact may not come! I would rather they start now
with a chance to discover who they are so that they will choose
lives that they fully embrace because they know themselves that
well.
We watched a new show on Bravo tonight called "The It Factor"
all about 9 young actors trying to make it in LA. it was fantastic.
Here are these young people laying themselves open every day
to rejection, negativity, and pain for the sake of their
passionacting. But they would clearly rather have a life that
included acting than live a life that avoided the repeated
rejections.
When we become mothers, we choose to give up sleep, privacy
and our time for the sake of others and don't always enjoy it. But
we've made a choice that is worth it to us. I want my kids to make
choices that cost them seomthing when it is worth the price. I
don't want them to pay up for something they care nothing for.
What a waste of childhood.
Julie B
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/13/03 9:00:00 PM, julie@... writes:
<< This is creepy. I'm having a Sandra Dodd moment--I was just
sitting talking about this very topic with my dh tonight and now it's
on the list. (Enter twilight zone theme music) >>
Perhaps it has moved from me to you, this mysterious deja-vu again and
again...
<<Yes, there are people who end up in jobs they hate, who learn to
put up with living lives that they must simply gut out, but is that
the goal for our kids? Do we want them to feel they must learn
how to put up with what they don't want to do as a way to train
them to do what they don't want to do?.>
That's one of the scariest justifications for school. If people complain
about teachers they don't like or being in class with kids who bully and
torment them, people will say (JUST AS IF IT MAKES GOOD SENSE) "Well that's
okay, because when you grow up and get a job you will have bosses you don't
like and co-workers you don't like, and so you need to learn to deal with it."
No, people don't have to stay in jobs where they're being harrassed and
bullied, nor work for bosses who are sadistic or stupid.
<<When we become mothers, we choose to give up sleep, privacy
and our time for the sake of others and don't always enjoy it. But
we've made a choice that is worth it to us.>>
Ideally! <g>
I feel that way, and I LIKE being a mom! I am frustrated when even people
who are homeschooling will act as though they were minding their own business
when these horrible CHILDREN showed up and now the mothers have NO privacy,
etc.
Sandra
<< This is creepy. I'm having a Sandra Dodd moment--I was just
sitting talking about this very topic with my dh tonight and now it's
on the list. (Enter twilight zone theme music) >>
Perhaps it has moved from me to you, this mysterious deja-vu again and
again...
<<Yes, there are people who end up in jobs they hate, who learn to
put up with living lives that they must simply gut out, but is that
the goal for our kids? Do we want them to feel they must learn
how to put up with what they don't want to do as a way to train
them to do what they don't want to do?.>
That's one of the scariest justifications for school. If people complain
about teachers they don't like or being in class with kids who bully and
torment them, people will say (JUST AS IF IT MAKES GOOD SENSE) "Well that's
okay, because when you grow up and get a job you will have bosses you don't
like and co-workers you don't like, and so you need to learn to deal with it."
No, people don't have to stay in jobs where they're being harrassed and
bullied, nor work for bosses who are sadistic or stupid.
<<When we become mothers, we choose to give up sleep, privacy
and our time for the sake of others and don't always enjoy it. But
we've made a choice that is worth it to us.>>
Ideally! <g>
I feel that way, and I LIKE being a mom! I am frustrated when even people
who are homeschooling will act as though they were minding their own business
when these horrible CHILDREN showed up and now the mothers have NO privacy,
etc.
Sandra
Pam Hartley
----------
trade favors with a friend (I'll bake for you every week if you'll come and
sort out this freaking checkbook), etc.
There's really very little any of us HAVE to do. Choices abound. Creative
solutions arise. :)
Pam
>From: [email protected]You don't have to balance the checkbook. You could hire someone. You could
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 2862
>Date: Mon, Jan 13, 2003, 8:06 PM
>
> If I didn't do it, we'd be in deep trouble. In fact, I took over when
> his mismanagement GOT US into deep trouble with the bank, as well as
> lots of local merchants, and I've been digging us out for a year or
> so.
>
> You see my point? Sometimes life hands you things that you 1)don't
> like 2) aren't any good at and 3) find extremely stressing, boring,
> and futile...but you HAVE TO DO IT ANYWAY.
trade favors with a friend (I'll bake for you every week if you'll come and
sort out this freaking checkbook), etc.
There's really very little any of us HAVE to do. Choices abound. Creative
solutions arise. :)
Pam
Heidi <[email protected]>
> You don't have to balance the checkbook. You could hire someone.You could
> trade favors with a friend (I'll bake for you every week if you'llcome and
> sort out this freaking checkbook), etc.Creative
>
> There's really very little any of us HAVE to do. Choices abound.
> solutions arise. :)Oh! this is GREAT! I happen to be an excellent baker, make all the
>
> Pam
bread for the family...yeah, I like it. there's been some great ideas
here, gotta tell ya
Heidi
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/14/2003 9:13:53 AM Eastern Standard Time,
bunsofaluminum60@... writes:
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
bunsofaluminum60@... writes:
> . there's been some great ideasYeah...we're Full of...it! <G>
> here, gotta tell ya
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]