Re: Respecting children's choices
Thad Martin
Can't we respect our children's interests without degrading them to 'just a fad'?
this to me is a very unschooling position. my brother was making fun of me
because i know a lot about the program but when i explained that it was out of
respect for my son (rene' who's 4) that i participate and share his interest. my
brother then watched it so that next time my son and he spoke on the phone he
could participate in a conversation with rene'. i thought this was very cool. i
try not to judge my son's interests but look for something of value in them and
focus on that, while seizing the opportunity to discuss things like consumerism
and teaching him (albeit slowly:) to not become a victim of advertisers.
-susan
austin,tx
Brown wrote:
this to me is a very unschooling position. my brother was making fun of me
because i know a lot about the program but when i explained that it was out of
respect for my son (rene' who's 4) that i participate and share his interest. my
brother then watched it so that next time my son and he spoke on the phone he
could participate in a conversation with rene'. i thought this was very cool. i
try not to judge my son's interests but look for something of value in them and
focus on that, while seizing the opportunity to discuss things like consumerism
and teaching him (albeit slowly:) to not become a victim of advertisers.
-susan
austin,tx
Brown wrote:
> Pokemon aside, (it's the commercialism that gets me riled) something Lisa said
> touched a raw patch on my inner child soul.
>
> Lisa Terry wrote:
>
> > let's not let Pokemon be
> > our focus. It is just a fad.
>
> Back into my mind sprang the frustration and anger which accompanied the
> dismissal of my interests and choices as a child - 'oh, it's only a fad, only a
> stage, you'll grow out of it'. But aren't we all like that? Don't we all try
> things, keeping some interests forever, discarding others. Why is it okay for
> an adult to try something and then say 'I tried, but it's not really me', or,
> 'I enjoyed it for a while, but then I got tired of it', if our response to our
> children is 'See - I told you it was only a fad, maybe you'll believe me next
> time'. (Lisa, I'm not suggesting you do this - your few words just brought my
> childhood back to me sharp and clear). Can't we respect our children's
> interests without degrading them to 'just a fad'? (Like someone else on the
> list though, my kids have to buy their own Pokemon and Magic cards!)
>
> Carol
> 'There is beauty in the space between learning to fly and taking it for
> granted' (quote from a 'Magic: the Gathering' card)
Brown
Pokemon aside, (it's the commercialism that gets me riled) something Lisa said
touched a raw patch on my inner child soul.
Lisa Terry wrote:
dismissal of my interests and choices as a child - 'oh, it's only a fad, only a
stage, you'll grow out of it'. But aren't we all like that? Don't we all try
things, keeping some interests forever, discarding others. Why is it okay for
an adult to try something and then say 'I tried, but it's not really me', or,
'I enjoyed it for a while, but then I got tired of it', if our response to our
children is 'See - I told you it was only a fad, maybe you'll believe me next
time'. (Lisa, I'm not suggesting you do this - your few words just brought my
childhood back to me sharp and clear). Can't we respect our children's
interests without degrading them to 'just a fad'? (Like someone else on the
list though, my kids have to buy their own Pokemon and Magic cards!)
Carol
'There is beauty in the space between learning to fly and taking it for
granted' (quote from a 'Magic: the Gathering' card)
touched a raw patch on my inner child soul.
Lisa Terry wrote:
> let's not let Pokemon beBack into my mind sprang the frustration and anger which accompanied the
> our focus. It is just a fad.
dismissal of my interests and choices as a child - 'oh, it's only a fad, only a
stage, you'll grow out of it'. But aren't we all like that? Don't we all try
things, keeping some interests forever, discarding others. Why is it okay for
an adult to try something and then say 'I tried, but it's not really me', or,
'I enjoyed it for a while, but then I got tired of it', if our response to our
children is 'See - I told you it was only a fad, maybe you'll believe me next
time'. (Lisa, I'm not suggesting you do this - your few words just brought my
childhood back to me sharp and clear). Can't we respect our children's
interests without degrading them to 'just a fad'? (Like someone else on the
list though, my kids have to buy their own Pokemon and Magic cards!)
Carol
'There is beauty in the space between learning to fly and taking it for
granted' (quote from a 'Magic: the Gathering' card)
[email protected]
I think there is great value there. I respect any parents' decision as
far as what to allow their children to do or not do, even if I disagree
with their choices. But things we disagree with can be so valuable as
learning experiences! It gives us the opportunity to tell our children
what we disagree with and WHY. I believe this helps them make decisions
for the long run. After all, we will not always be there to decide for
them!
Mary Ellen
The darn trouble with cleaning the house is it gets dirty the next day
anyway,
so skip a week if you have to. The children are the most important
thing.
--Barbara Bush
On Thu, 06 Jan 2000 16:38:38 +0000 Thad Martin <tmartin@...>
writes:
i try not to judge my son's interests but look for something of value
YOU'RE PAYING TOO MUCH FOR THE INTERNET!
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far as what to allow their children to do or not do, even if I disagree
with their choices. But things we disagree with can be so valuable as
learning experiences! It gives us the opportunity to tell our children
what we disagree with and WHY. I believe this helps them make decisions
for the long run. After all, we will not always be there to decide for
them!
Mary Ellen
The darn trouble with cleaning the house is it gets dirty the next day
anyway,
so skip a week if you have to. The children are the most important
thing.
--Barbara Bush
On Thu, 06 Jan 2000 16:38:38 +0000 Thad Martin <tmartin@...>
writes:
i try not to judge my son's interests but look for something of value
> in them and________________________________________________________________
> focus on that, while seizing the opportunity to discuss things like
> consumerism
> and teaching him (albeit slowly:) to not become a victim of
> advertisers.
>
> -susan
> austin,tx
>
YOU'RE PAYING TOO MUCH FOR THE INTERNET!
Juno now offers FREE Internet Access!
Try it today - there's no risk! For your FREE software, visit:
http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj.
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/6/00 2:35:14 PM Pacific Standard Time,
tmartin@... writes:
<< i
try not to judge my son's interests but look for something of value in them
and
focus on that, while seizing the opportunity to discuss things like
consumerism
and teaching him (albeit slowly:) to not become a victim of advertisers.
My daughter is 8 and when she first became interested, i mean obsessed :-), i
became a little concerned. I don't want to dictate what she can and can't be
interrested in though; i want her to learn to make her own choices and not
rely on someone else to tell her what to do, so i just let it go. I found
that she isn't into it because it's cool to be, she really loves the
characters and the shows.
I have also found some positive aspects to the craze. One thing, it's
something that just about every kid knows something about, and it's an easy
ice breaker. She starts conversations with kids all the time with pokemon.
I notice they may start with pokemon, but they end up talking about or
playing other things after a while. And at the few burger king trading
nights we've been to, it all begins with pokemon, but after a while the kids
end up in the play area making up new games and just playing.
One of the best 'pokemon experiences' i had was when i was with my daughter
at the swap meet, and she told the vendor that he was selling a certain card
for much less than it was worth. He looked it up, and sure enough, she was
right. He was very impressed and thanked her for telling him. Afterwards,
she said she really wanted the card, and had enough money to buy it at the
low price, but she knew that that was the wrong thing to do. I told her i
was proud of her. I think if i concentrate on the values i believe are
important, like honesty, tolerance, kindness, respect, she can go through as
many 'fads' as she wants and come out with things that really matter.
tmartin@... writes:
<< i
try not to judge my son's interests but look for something of value in them
and
focus on that, while seizing the opportunity to discuss things like
consumerism
and teaching him (albeit slowly:) to not become a victim of advertisers.
>>Yes!
My daughter is 8 and when she first became interested, i mean obsessed :-), i
became a little concerned. I don't want to dictate what she can and can't be
interrested in though; i want her to learn to make her own choices and not
rely on someone else to tell her what to do, so i just let it go. I found
that she isn't into it because it's cool to be, she really loves the
characters and the shows.
I have also found some positive aspects to the craze. One thing, it's
something that just about every kid knows something about, and it's an easy
ice breaker. She starts conversations with kids all the time with pokemon.
I notice they may start with pokemon, but they end up talking about or
playing other things after a while. And at the few burger king trading
nights we've been to, it all begins with pokemon, but after a while the kids
end up in the play area making up new games and just playing.
One of the best 'pokemon experiences' i had was when i was with my daughter
at the swap meet, and she told the vendor that he was selling a certain card
for much less than it was worth. He looked it up, and sure enough, she was
right. He was very impressed and thanked her for telling him. Afterwards,
she said she really wanted the card, and had enough money to buy it at the
low price, but she knew that that was the wrong thing to do. I told her i
was proud of her. I think if i concentrate on the values i believe are
important, like honesty, tolerance, kindness, respect, she can go through as
many 'fads' as she wants and come out with things that really matter.
Thad Martin
this is a great story. it shows a great level of empathy.
I think if i concentrate on the values i believe are important, like honesty,
tolerance, kindness, respect, she can go through as many 'fads' as she wants and
come out with things that really matter.
fads and peer pressure do cause problems but nothing they will not encounter
when they're adults. i think it's very important for kids to develop the
strength and courage to think for themselves rather than be completely sheltered
(though they do need a certain degree so they don't become overwhelmed) and as
adults be confronted with situations that are vastly different than what they
are use to.
i was just reading the editorial in a new mag paths of learning which is about
how compassion/altruism is developed. richard prystowsky, the author, states
that:
'one of the most important of these points [how altruistic attitudes and
behavior are developed] is that... parental influence was a monumentally
influential factor in rescuers' (of victims of the holocaust) attitudes and
behavior towards those whom they helped (or tried to help).'
also:
'...the perceptions of altruistic rescuers: compared to the perceptions of
nonrescuers, "significantly more frequently, [rescuers] perceived themselves as
like other people, sharing a fundamental humanity".
finially, he suggests that we:
'...ask ourselves how we might develop an ever-stronger ethic of caring so that,
more often than not, we can teach with compassion and model this teaching for
our children, our students, our communities and the world at large. ...
primarily, we want to choose a path of teaching, living and learning that helps
us to create the kind of world in which violence would be unknown and rescuer
behavior, thus, unnecessary.'
just some interesting ideas.
-susan
austin,tx
JENNIFE30@... wrote:
I think if i concentrate on the values i believe are important, like honesty,
tolerance, kindness, respect, she can go through as many 'fads' as she wants and
come out with things that really matter.
fads and peer pressure do cause problems but nothing they will not encounter
when they're adults. i think it's very important for kids to develop the
strength and courage to think for themselves rather than be completely sheltered
(though they do need a certain degree so they don't become overwhelmed) and as
adults be confronted with situations that are vastly different than what they
are use to.
i was just reading the editorial in a new mag paths of learning which is about
how compassion/altruism is developed. richard prystowsky, the author, states
that:
'one of the most important of these points [how altruistic attitudes and
behavior are developed] is that... parental influence was a monumentally
influential factor in rescuers' (of victims of the holocaust) attitudes and
behavior towards those whom they helped (or tried to help).'
also:
'...the perceptions of altruistic rescuers: compared to the perceptions of
nonrescuers, "significantly more frequently, [rescuers] perceived themselves as
like other people, sharing a fundamental humanity".
finially, he suggests that we:
'...ask ourselves how we might develop an ever-stronger ethic of caring so that,
more often than not, we can teach with compassion and model this teaching for
our children, our students, our communities and the world at large. ...
primarily, we want to choose a path of teaching, living and learning that helps
us to create the kind of world in which violence would be unknown and rescuer
behavior, thus, unnecessary.'
just some interesting ideas.
-susan
austin,tx
JENNIFE30@... wrote:
>
> My daughter is 8 and when she first became interested, i mean obsessed :-), i
> became a little concerned. I don't want to dictate what she can and can't be
> interrested in though; i want her to learn to make her own choices and not
> rely on someone else to tell her what to do, so i just let it go. I found
> that she isn't into it because it's cool to be, she really loves the
> characters and the shows.
> I have also found some positive aspects to the craze. One thing, it's
> something that just about every kid knows something about, and it's an easy
> ice breaker. She starts conversations with kids all the time with pokemon.
> I notice they may start with pokemon, but they end up talking about or
> playing other things after a while. And at the few burger king trading
> nights we've been to, it all begins with pokemon, but after a while the kids
> end up in the play area making up new games and just playing.
> One of the best 'pokemon experiences' i had was when i was with my daughter
> at the swap meet, and she told the vendor that he was selling a certain card
> for much less than it was worth. He looked it up, and sure enough, she was
> right. He was very impressed and thanked her for telling him. Afterwards,
> she said she really wanted the card, and had enough money to buy it at the
> low price, but she knew that that was the wrong thing to do. I told her i
> was proud of her. I think if i concentrate on the values i believe are
> important, like honesty, tolerance, kindness, respect, she can go through as
> many 'fads' as she wants and come out with things that really matter.
>
Thad Martin
hi,
their new site is http://www.pathsoflearning.com/ and it has a link to their
old site.
the excerpt is from the new (2nd) issue of a new mag. they are offering their
1st issue free and it's certainly worth it -in my opinion. though personally
i don't use, and will probably never, use many of the ideas presented the
knowledge of the different approaches and philosophies used by different people
is invaluable to me. i love diversity. i believe the more you know the
better equipped you are at choosing and modifying what works for you and your
family individually. this mag gives me a lot of info to bolster my own
philosophical beliefs because it's view is educational not just homeschooling
so articles are written by people from many different alternative perspectives.
just my opinion,
susan
austin, tx
Monkeycoop@... wrote:
their new site is http://www.pathsoflearning.com/ and it has a link to their
old site.
the excerpt is from the new (2nd) issue of a new mag. they are offering their
1st issue free and it's certainly worth it -in my opinion. though personally
i don't use, and will probably never, use many of the ideas presented the
knowledge of the different approaches and philosophies used by different people
is invaluable to me. i love diversity. i believe the more you know the
better equipped you are at choosing and modifying what works for you and your
family individually. this mag gives me a lot of info to bolster my own
philosophical beliefs because it's view is educational not just homeschooling
so articles are written by people from many different alternative perspectives.
just my opinion,
susan
austin, tx
Monkeycoop@... wrote:
>
> Hello,
> I've only been a lurker until this point, but I wanted to tell you (Susan)
> how much I enjoyed this post. Can you tell us more about the magazine to
> which you were referring? Did you mean it's a new magazine, or did you mean
> you have a new issue? Thanks
>
> pax et bonum,
> KIM
>
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/7/2000 10:47:26 AM Central Standard Time,
tmartin@... writes:
<< i was just reading the editorial in a new mag paths of learning which is
about
how compassion/altruism is developed. >>
Hello,
I've only been a lurker until this point, but I wanted to tell you (Susan)
how much I enjoyed this post. Can you tell us more about the magazine to
which you were referring? Did you mean it's a new magazine, or did you mean
you have a new issue? Thanks
pax et bonum,
KIM
tmartin@... writes:
<< i was just reading the editorial in a new mag paths of learning which is
about
how compassion/altruism is developed. >>
Hello,
I've only been a lurker until this point, but I wanted to tell you (Susan)
how much I enjoyed this post. Can you tell us more about the magazine to
which you were referring? Did you mean it's a new magazine, or did you mean
you have a new issue? Thanks
pax et bonum,
KIM
Dalene and Andy
We found unschooling because my son was making it clear at the age of three that he had absolutely no desire to go to school. Now at five he is still feeling the same and he is home. However my two year old is an entirely different little girl and I strongly suspect that she might choose different. We live in a very small community and at the age of two she's already forming strong friendships and I can just see her wanting to go with her friends to school when she turns five and I am wondering what I will do then. I do realise that she is still two and a half years away, and she might not, but I was wondering if anyone has had that experience and how they handled it.
Dalene
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Dalene
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Hartley
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Dalene and Andy" <mactier@x>
wrote:
Now at five he is still feeling the same and he is home. However
my two year old is an entirely different little girl and I strongly
suspect that she might choose different. We live in a very small
community and at the age of two she's already forming strong
friendships and I can just see her wanting to go with her friends
to school when she turns five and I am wondering what I will do
then. I do realise that she is still two and a half years away, and
she might not, but I was wondering if anyone has had that
people and going places and doing things.
Luckily, she's also a night owl and likes to set her own schedule,
so I used to do subliminal unschooling advertising with her. ;)
"Wow, look, it's midnight already! That's a cool picture, are you
going to finish painting it tonight? Lucky you don't have to go to
school, or you'd have been in bed four hours ago."
And
"Yeah, I know it's early, but it's your ice skating lesson today. Do
you still want to go skating? Okay, then, let's get a move on. Boy,
it's good that we homeschool so you only have to get up this
early when you want to!"
And
"Sure, we can go to the zoo. How about tomorrow, that's
Tuesday. I'm glad we homeschool and get to go to the zoo on
weekdays, when there are no crowds and we can really look at
all the animals."
Etc. I *do* feel we're lucky to homeschool and I don't hide it or the
benefits to it. I also make sure she has enough social outlets so
the glorified "recess" shown on TV doesn't seem so important.
Pam
wrote:
> We found unschooling because my son was making it clear atthe age of three that he had absolutely no desire to go to school.
Now at five he is still feeling the same and he is home. However
my two year old is an entirely different little girl and I strongly
suspect that she might choose different. We live in a very small
community and at the age of two she's already forming strong
friendships and I can just see her wanting to go with her friends
to school when she turns five and I am wondering what I will do
then. I do realise that she is still two and a half years away, and
she might not, but I was wondering if anyone has had that
>experience and how they handled it.My oldest is the original social butterfly. She loves being around
people and going places and doing things.
Luckily, she's also a night owl and likes to set her own schedule,
so I used to do subliminal unschooling advertising with her. ;)
"Wow, look, it's midnight already! That's a cool picture, are you
going to finish painting it tonight? Lucky you don't have to go to
school, or you'd have been in bed four hours ago."
And
"Yeah, I know it's early, but it's your ice skating lesson today. Do
you still want to go skating? Okay, then, let's get a move on. Boy,
it's good that we homeschool so you only have to get up this
early when you want to!"
And
"Sure, we can go to the zoo. How about tomorrow, that's
Tuesday. I'm glad we homeschool and get to go to the zoo on
weekdays, when there are no crowds and we can really look at
all the animals."
Etc. I *do* feel we're lucky to homeschool and I don't hide it or the
benefits to it. I also make sure she has enough social outlets so
the glorified "recess" shown on TV doesn't seem so important.
Pam
Tia Leschke
However
that might have younger siblings along. This way she can gradually make
friends who *won't* be going off to school.
Tia
> my two year old is an entirely different little girl and I stronglyFind a homeschooling group and start going to some of the outings, anything
> suspect that she might choose different. We live in a very small
> community and at the age of two she's already forming strong
> friendships and I can just see her wanting to go with her friends
> to school when she turns five and I am wondering what I will do
> then. I do realise that she is still two and a half years away, and
> she might not, but I was wondering if anyone has had that
> >experience and how they handled it.
that might have younger siblings along. This way she can gradually make
friends who *won't* be going off to school.
Tia
Dalene and Andy
We are living rural and have limited contact with other homeschoolers.
Dalene
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Dalene
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kimber
<<< However my two year old is an entirely different little girl and I strongly suspect that she might choose different. >>>
My children are somewhat the same. My son is very introverted, shy, sensitive, whereas my daughter is extremely extroverted, bubbly, and never meets someone who isn't happy to see her. :) We cannot even go to the store without her (from the age of 1 1/2--blowing kisses) and saying goodbye to each one of the checkout people. She is now 6 and that is still definitely her personality. She now has to chat with everyone she comes into contact with so I do have to keep a close eye on her.
<<<We live in a very small community and at the age of two she's already forming strong friendships and I can just see her wanting to go with her friends to school when she turns five and I am wondering what I will do then.>>>
Personally, I would think very long and hard about sending your daughter to school. We did let our daughter go to kindergarten last year and I wish we hadn't. She was a very good beginning reader before she went and it wasn't long before she decided "I just cannot read". I think it was because there were others who could read better than her. She is just now beginning to show interest again and I am trying my best to let her go at her own pace. She is very bright and her kindergarten teacher was very impressed with her vocabulary (I use a lot of 'big' words and so it seems does my daughter), and I believe she was (according to their standards), about 2nd or 3rd in a class of 20 kids. She was reading at 1.8 grade level (so says their computer program they use) but if you ask the child to read a book with you, she will look at you and state clearly "I don't know how to read yet." She does know some words but being that we are perfectionists, she won't attempt it in public until she masters it. She is also not yet riding her bike without training wheels and is down on herself for that. She did not have such strong feelings about 'failure' or 'perfomance' or even 'perfection' until she went to public school.
Now, I am not saying that your daughter will pick up these attitudes in her kindergarten, but my little girl was quite self confident before school and just after one year (really more like a few months) she had lost much of it.
I would try to make sure she has a few playmates, but I don't think school is the answer just because you have a social child. My daughter has a couple of good friends who both go to school. Somedays it is hard to wait until they get home to play, but we do plenty of things together during the day so that she doesn't really have time to be sad about missing them. She wouldn't see them at school anyway.....different grades and different schools.
<<< I do realise that she is still two and a half years away, and she might not, but I was wondering if anyone has had that experience and how they handled it.
Dalene>>>
Thankfully you have plenty of time to do your research and find out what might be right for your family. Even if you do send her to school, you can always change your mind and keep her home. My advice is to read, read, read....and then read some more about the different options.
Kimber
Momma to ds9 and dd6
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My children are somewhat the same. My son is very introverted, shy, sensitive, whereas my daughter is extremely extroverted, bubbly, and never meets someone who isn't happy to see her. :) We cannot even go to the store without her (from the age of 1 1/2--blowing kisses) and saying goodbye to each one of the checkout people. She is now 6 and that is still definitely her personality. She now has to chat with everyone she comes into contact with so I do have to keep a close eye on her.
<<<We live in a very small community and at the age of two she's already forming strong friendships and I can just see her wanting to go with her friends to school when she turns five and I am wondering what I will do then.>>>
Personally, I would think very long and hard about sending your daughter to school. We did let our daughter go to kindergarten last year and I wish we hadn't. She was a very good beginning reader before she went and it wasn't long before she decided "I just cannot read". I think it was because there were others who could read better than her. She is just now beginning to show interest again and I am trying my best to let her go at her own pace. She is very bright and her kindergarten teacher was very impressed with her vocabulary (I use a lot of 'big' words and so it seems does my daughter), and I believe she was (according to their standards), about 2nd or 3rd in a class of 20 kids. She was reading at 1.8 grade level (so says their computer program they use) but if you ask the child to read a book with you, she will look at you and state clearly "I don't know how to read yet." She does know some words but being that we are perfectionists, she won't attempt it in public until she masters it. She is also not yet riding her bike without training wheels and is down on herself for that. She did not have such strong feelings about 'failure' or 'perfomance' or even 'perfection' until she went to public school.
Now, I am not saying that your daughter will pick up these attitudes in her kindergarten, but my little girl was quite self confident before school and just after one year (really more like a few months) she had lost much of it.
I would try to make sure she has a few playmates, but I don't think school is the answer just because you have a social child. My daughter has a couple of good friends who both go to school. Somedays it is hard to wait until they get home to play, but we do plenty of things together during the day so that she doesn't really have time to be sad about missing them. She wouldn't see them at school anyway.....different grades and different schools.
<<< I do realise that she is still two and a half years away, and she might not, but I was wondering if anyone has had that experience and how they handled it.
Dalene>>>
Thankfully you have plenty of time to do your research and find out what might be right for your family. Even if you do send her to school, you can always change your mind and keep her home. My advice is to read, read, read....and then read some more about the different options.
Kimber
Momma to ds9 and dd6
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kimber
<<<The posters who suggested we let her go and experience it were
absolutely right.
Kate
who loves unschooling but hates cleaning>>>
You know, I do believe that is a very good point. My main regret is that I let her go the entire year without pulling her out. She was so excited about kindergarten, the nap mat, the being with others, the 'big girl' school idea, that I don't think she would be as happy about being home if we hadn't let her go to begin with. It didn't take her but a few weeks of school to realize it wasn't worth all the hype. She didn't hate it but she did have good days and bad. Teasing, name calling, the teacher not believing her, missing one problem on a worksheet so she didn't get the 'happy sticker'.....those were some of the things that convinced her that being home with Mom was way more fun.
So, I guess that my advice, having been in a somewhat similar circumstance, is to let her choose what she would like.....stay home vs. go to school.... but be more than willing to change course at anytime. You don't have to wait until the school year has ended to begin homeschooling. I had thought it was the better thing to do. To wait. Let her experience the whole year of kindergarten. What a doofus. I should have brought her home earlier.
Kimber
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absolutely right.
Kate
who loves unschooling but hates cleaning>>>
You know, I do believe that is a very good point. My main regret is that I let her go the entire year without pulling her out. She was so excited about kindergarten, the nap mat, the being with others, the 'big girl' school idea, that I don't think she would be as happy about being home if we hadn't let her go to begin with. It didn't take her but a few weeks of school to realize it wasn't worth all the hype. She didn't hate it but she did have good days and bad. Teasing, name calling, the teacher not believing her, missing one problem on a worksheet so she didn't get the 'happy sticker'.....those were some of the things that convinced her that being home with Mom was way more fun.
So, I guess that my advice, having been in a somewhat similar circumstance, is to let her choose what she would like.....stay home vs. go to school.... but be more than willing to change course at anytime. You don't have to wait until the school year has ended to begin homeschooling. I had thought it was the better thing to do. To wait. Let her experience the whole year of kindergarten. What a doofus. I should have brought her home earlier.
Kimber
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Jeff & Kate Kerr
***Personally, I would think very long and hard about sending your
daughter to school. We did let our
daughter go to kindergarten last year and I wish we hadn't.
Kimber***
A couple of things. Some one a while ago posted about changing their
attitude about schooling. Going from the belief that it was necessary
and must always be attended, to knowing that her daughter/son could
unschool in school by not thinking of it as mandatory (I think I got it
right).
What we did when our 5 yod decided that she wanted to go to kindergarten
was to let her go. It was scary for us, because unlike most people who
know their child is going to school, we knew our children were going to
be unschooled.
I posted here asking people what I should do with a child who wants to
go to school and the best advice I got was let her go, she probably
won't like it anyway. I decided that I would treat her being in K as an
unschooler going to school - that is only when she chooses. She chose
one day, walked out after class and announced she was bored with it
(only got to read one book, no coloring, etc.... Not up to her
standards).
She now happily unschools with us. Her one day in K is talked about
occasionally, mostly by her or her brother who, as reluctant as he is to
admit it, is glad she's not going anymore.
Sometimes I say things like, "Aren't you glad we can go to the zoo on a
Tuesday?" or "Isn't it great to go swimming in the morning with no
bigger kids splashing us?" She gets it. And I love it.
The posters who suggested we let her go and experience it were
absolutely right.
Kate
who loves unschooling but hates cleaning
daughter to school. We did let our
daughter go to kindergarten last year and I wish we hadn't.
Kimber***
A couple of things. Some one a while ago posted about changing their
attitude about schooling. Going from the belief that it was necessary
and must always be attended, to knowing that her daughter/son could
unschool in school by not thinking of it as mandatory (I think I got it
right).
What we did when our 5 yod decided that she wanted to go to kindergarten
was to let her go. It was scary for us, because unlike most people who
know their child is going to school, we knew our children were going to
be unschooled.
I posted here asking people what I should do with a child who wants to
go to school and the best advice I got was let her go, she probably
won't like it anyway. I decided that I would treat her being in K as an
unschooler going to school - that is only when she chooses. She chose
one day, walked out after class and announced she was bored with it
(only got to read one book, no coloring, etc.... Not up to her
standards).
She now happily unschools with us. Her one day in K is talked about
occasionally, mostly by her or her brother who, as reluctant as he is to
admit it, is glad she's not going anymore.
Sometimes I say things like, "Aren't you glad we can go to the zoo on a
Tuesday?" or "Isn't it great to go swimming in the morning with no
bigger kids splashing us?" She gets it. And I love it.
The posters who suggested we let her go and experience it were
absolutely right.
Kate
who loves unschooling but hates cleaning
Genevieve Labonté
<<You know, I do believe that is a very good point. My main regret is that I let her go the entire year without pulling her out. She was so excited about kindergarten, the nap mat, the being with others, the 'big girl' school idea, that I don't think she would be as happy about being home if we hadn't let her go to begin with. It didn't take her but a few weeks of school to realize it wasn't worth all the hype. She didn't hate it but she did have good days and bad. Teasing, name calling, the teacher not believing her, missing one problem on a worksheet so she didn't get the 'happy sticker'.....those were some of the things that convinced her that being home with Mom was way more fun.
Genevieve
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>>*** This sounds exactly like my son. We talked about kindergarden before school started, offered him the options. He decided to go, and LOVES it. Some days he doesn't want to go after lunch and I offer him to stay home, NO WAY... He likes the bus ride, all the activities, seems to thrive with structure (MUST come from daddy :-) ) but knows that when he's tired of it all, he'll be able to stay home. Even the " We could go there during the week" bribes don't work YET... BUT we're starting to have downsides, he got pushed this week in the school yard, getting rushed in the morning, etc.. I'm hoping he'll get the point soon... I don't want to go the whole nine yards and making school icky, since all his friends are going, I just want to let him know things for lucky him, can be better than that.
Genevieve
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