Alicia Knight

I just had to share a little zap of insight I had this weekend. I have a
good friend is very much a "send them all to school" person. She does
respect my choice to unschool, at least she never lets on that she
disapproves. Ironically, my friend is the person who introduced me to
the concept of child-led learning when our children were little. She
strongly supports this approach for early childhood, but somehow hasn't
made the connection to how this approach is truly wonderful in the later
childhood years as well. She now takes a pretty hardline about grades
and school performance with her kids.

I was on my way back from a meeting and was talking on the phone to her.
Our conversation was interupted by what sounded like a major
conflagration involving her and her 15 year old son. Their relationship
is pocked with antagonism. She also takes a hardline, cut-them-no-slack
approach to child guidance, which I think is one of the sources of the
antagonism. So this huge argument is going on while I'm on the phone and
hearing that it seems like it will go on for longer than I was willing
to hold, I just hung up.

When I got home, I was greeted by the sound of my two unschooled
children having a discussion and trying to list all the various
historical ages and epochs since the dawn of humankind. They have become
huge history buffs since playing Age of Empires. As I come in, they have
questions for me to help them fill in the gaps. I can't answer their
questions, but I go to our home copy of Timelines of History we all
start looking for the information together. Then my oldest son wants to
know how many civil wars occured in Japan. My youngest son says with
certainty that there were a lot of civil wars in Japan. I had no clue,
so we all go look on the internet and find that Japan had 500 years
worth of civil wars that killed off one third of the population. He was
right! How did he know this? By playing computer games and watching the
History Channel. They start talking about a great Samuri named Iyeyasu.
Peace was made in 1600 when Iyeyasu Tokugawa made peace by granting land
to his defeated enemies. An article we found on how this bold concept of
waging peace while avoiding total anhilation of the enemy could be
applied to the conflict between Israel and Palestinians lead to a
discussion and more questions about current events. This lead us to look
through the newspaper and television to get the news of the day. And so
it went on for the rest of the day, we were happily unschooling on a
Saturday afternoon -- listening and viewing, reading, discussing,
playing war game scenarios on the computer, applying this to my dh's
web-based game creation -- all of us learning and growiong and enjoying
each others company.

What a contrast to the parent-child wars going on at my friend's house!
I am so grateful to be an unschooling family!
My kids don't have a set bedtime -- they often stay up later than I do.
I don't restrict their TV or video games -- they seem to regulate that
well enough on their own. Their rooms are their domain -- I never go in
unless asked, but they ask all the time to show me things they're doing.
They voluntarily do housekeeping tasks -- dishes, vaccuming, mopping,
dusting, trash removal. They see me working and they just pitch in. The
more I let go of all the issues that I see other parents battling their
kids about, the more I see my kids evolve and grow. The less "control" I
exert on them, the more self-control they seem to have.

Not to say that every day is perfect -- but since starting down the path
of unschooling -- we've had a lot more perfect days than not.

Thank you thank you thank you!

~ Alicia

Julie Bogart <[email protected]>

Awesome post!!

I love the way you talked about all this wonderful discovery
together and then casually mentioned it took place on a
SATURDAY! :) So great.

The thing that stood out ot me here is the way one thing naturally
led to the next. That's what I find so irresistible about learning
this way and why I felt wrong doing it differently with my kids
(when this is precisely how I learn and enjoy it so much).

This weekend I did more "reading stuff" with my 6 yog than we
have done all fall just because she initiated it. And I suddenly
saw how much she was getting out of it even though she really
isn't reading at all yet. All this on a weekend.

About chores and stuff.

We have routines in place that my husband I decided not to
disrupt. No complaints here. But I have backed off of requiring
help outside those routines.

Last night while my daughter (whose phone time used to be
heavily restricted) was on the phone, I walked into the kitchen to
see her standing on a chair peeling wallpaper for me without
being asked to do it. It struck me--here she was finally getting to
chat to her heart's content and she suddenly of her own volition
decided to pitch in with the wallpaper project.

Moments like that are worth it all.

Thanks Alicia. Keep reporting the good stories. I love to read
them.

Julie B

--- In [email protected], Alicia Knight
<superdiva@a...> wrote:
> I just had to share a little zap of insight I had this weekend. I
have a
> good friend is very much a "send them all to school" person.
She does
> respect my choice to unschool, at least she never lets on that
she
> disapproves. Ironically, my friend is the person who introduced
me to
> the concept of child-led learning when our children were little.
She
> strongly supports this approach for early childhood, but
somehow hasn't
> made the connection to how this approach is truly wonderful in
the later
> childhood years as well. She now takes a pretty hardline about
grades
> and school performance with her kids.
>
> I was on my way back from a meeting and was talking on the
phone to her.
> Our conversation was interupted by what sounded like a major
> conflagration involving her and her 15 year old son. Their
relationship
> is pocked with antagonism. She also takes a hardline,
cut-them-no-slack
> approach to child guidance, which I think is one of the sources
of the
> antagonism. So this huge argument is going on while I'm on
the phone and
> hearing that it seems like it will go on for longer than I was
willing
> to hold, I just hung up.
>
> When I got home, I was greeted by the sound of my two
unschooled
> children having a discussion and trying to list all the various
> historical ages and epochs since the dawn of humankind.
They have become
> huge history buffs since playing Age of Empires. As I come in,
they have
> questions for me to help them fill in the gaps. I can't answer
their
> questions, but I go to our home copy of Timelines of History we
all
> start looking for the information together. Then my oldest son
wants to
> know how many civil wars occured in Japan. My youngest son
says with
> certainty that there were a lot of civil wars in Japan. I had no
clue,
> so we all go look on the internet and find that Japan had 500
years
> worth of civil wars that killed off one third of the population. He
was
> right! How did he know this? By playing computer games and
watching the
> History Channel. They start talking about a great Samuri
named Iyeyasu.
> Peace was made in 1600 when Iyeyasu Tokugawa made
peace by granting land
> to his defeated enemies. An article we found on how this bold
concept of
> waging peace while avoiding total anhilation of the enemy
could be
> applied to the conflict between Israel and Palestinians lead to
a
> discussion and more questions about current events. This
lead us to look
> through the newspaper and television to get the news of the
day. And so
> it went on for the rest of the day, we were happily unschooling
on a
> Saturday afternoon -- listening and viewing, reading,
discussing,
> playing war game scenarios on the computer, applying this to
my dh's
> web-based game creation -- all of us learning and growiong
and enjoying
> each others company.
>
> What a contrast to the parent-child wars going on at my friend's
house!
> I am so grateful to be an unschooling family!
> My kids don't have a set bedtime -- they often stay up later than
I do.
> I don't restrict their TV or video games -- they seem to regulate
that
> well enough on their own. Their rooms are their domain -- I
never go in
> unless asked, but they ask all the time to show me things
they're doing.
> They voluntarily do housekeeping tasks -- dishes, vaccuming,
mopping,
> dusting, trash removal. They see me working and they just
pitch in. The
> more I let go of all the issues that I see other parents battling
their
> kids about, the more I see my kids evolve and grow. The less
"control" I
> exert on them, the more self-control they seem to have.
>
> Not to say that every day is perfect -- but since starting down
the path
> of unschooling -- we've had a lot more perfect days than not.
>
> Thank you thank you thank you!
>
> ~ Alicia

Kelli Traaseth

This is great Alicia! Fun!

Kelli


Alicia Knight <superdiva@...> wrote:I just had to share a little zap of insight I had this weekend. I have a
good friend is very much a "send them all to school" person. She does
respect my choice to unschool, at least she never lets on that she
disapproves. Ironically, my friend is the person who introduced me to
the concept of child-led learning when our children were little. She
strongly supports this approach for early childhood, but somehow hasn't
made the connection to how this approach is truly wonderful in the later
childhood years as well. She now takes a pretty hardline about grades
and school performance with her kids.

I was on my way back from a meeting and was talking on the phone to her.
Our conversation was interupted by what sounded like a major
conflagration involving her and her 15 year old son. Their relationship
is pocked with antagonism. She also takes a hardline, cut-them-no-slack
approach to child guidance, which I think is one of the sources of the
antagonism. So this huge argument is going on while I'm on the phone and
hearing that it seems like it will go on for longer than I was willing
to hold, I just hung up.

When I got home, I was greeted by the sound of my two unschooled
children having a discussion and trying to list all the various
historical ages and epochs since the dawn of humankind. They have become
huge history buffs since playing Age of Empires. As I come in, they have
questions for me to help them fill in the gaps. I can't answer their
questions, but I go to our home copy of Timelines of History we all
start looking for the information together. Then my oldest son wants to
know how many civil wars occured in Japan. My youngest son says with
certainty that there were a lot of civil wars in Japan. I had no clue,
so we all go look on the internet and find that Japan had 500 years
worth of civil wars that killed off one third of the population. He was
right! How did he know this? By playing computer games and watching the
History Channel. They start talking about a great Samuri named Iyeyasu.
Peace was made in 1600 when Iyeyasu Tokugawa made peace by granting land
to his defeated enemies. An article we found on how this bold concept of
waging peace while avoiding total anhilation of the enemy could be
applied to the conflict between Israel and Palestinians lead to a
discussion and more questions about current events. This lead us to look
through the newspaper and television to get the news of the day. And so
it went on for the rest of the day, we were happily unschooling on a
Saturday afternoon -- listening and viewing, reading, discussing,
playing war game scenarios on the computer, applying this to my dh's
web-based game creation -- all of us learning and growiong and enjoying
each others company.

What a contrast to the parent-child wars going on at my friend's house!
I am so grateful to be an unschooling family!
My kids don't have a set bedtime -- they often stay up later than I do.
I don't restrict their TV or video games -- they seem to regulate that
well enough on their own. Their rooms are their domain -- I never go in
unless asked, but they ask all the time to show me things they're doing.
They voluntarily do housekeeping tasks -- dishes, vaccuming, mopping,
dusting, trash removal. They see me working and they just pitch in. The
more I let go of all the issues that I see other parents battling their
kids about, the more I see my kids evolve and grow. The less "control" I
exert on them, the more self-control they seem to have.

Not to say that every day is perfect -- but since starting down the path
of unschooling -- we've had a lot more perfect days than not.

Thank you thank you thank you!

~ Alicia





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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

the_clevengers <[email protected]>

--- In [email protected], Alicia Knight
<superdiva@a...> wrote:
> And so
> it went on for the rest of the day, we were happily unschooling on a
> Saturday afternoon -- listening and viewing, reading, discussing,
> playing war game scenarios on the computer, applying this to my dh's
> web-based game creation -- all of us learning and growiong and
enjoying
> each others company.

That's such a nice way to describe the joy of learning that can go on
at any time, place, day when learning is just part of life and part
of the way you spend your days together.

This morning my kids collaborated on a book with one writing and one
illustrating. Right now they're sledding down the stairs on a basket
lid in their pajamas and bicycle helmets. Earlier they were eagles
building a gigantic nest out of my (as yet unfolded!) laundry pile,
since we saw an Osprey's nest the other day, and also reached the
part in reading Lord of the Rings where Gwaihir, the big eagle comes
into the story, they've been interested in big birds. I just love to
see the unmitigated fun that's a daily part of their lives.

Blue Skies,
-Robin-

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/13/03 12:27:40 PM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< Not to say that every day is perfect -- but since starting down the path
of unschooling -- we've had a lot more perfect days than not >>

Thank you for sharing Alicia, that was really neat!

Ren
"The world's much smaller than you think. Made up of two kinds of
people--simple and complicated.....The simple ones are contented. The
complicated ones aren't."
"Unschooling support at pensacolaunschoolers.com