Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 2840
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/11/2003 9:37:55 AM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
house. Alot of people kids do chores.....
People run their houses differently....... I will not defend that to anyone.
Besides, I will not live in filth, nor will I clean up behind them. If they
mess it up it is their job to clean it up.
Chores are a way and fact of life for many people. If you personally chose
not to have you children do their chores or responsibilty..then that is your
choice.
It just happens not to be mine or my husbands.
He would not appreciate working hard on the road for 6 days and see no dishes
washed, counters nasty greasy and the stove filthy, clothes thrown about the
house , or the house looking like a tornado with through it. That would not
be fair to him. He should have to come home and clean the kids mess. It is
not in our particular nature or culture to have dirty homes.
Energy flows better in a home that is not overly filty. cluttered or
dirty..... I am even starting to look into feng shui.
What will happen to your chldren if they don't?
That is private...... but it is dealt with, but we rarely have too. They know
that they have to pull their weight around here.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
> Why do they have to?What? What do you mean? They have to because it is one of the rules in this
house. Alot of people kids do chores.....
People run their houses differently....... I will not defend that to anyone.
Besides, I will not live in filth, nor will I clean up behind them. If they
mess it up it is their job to clean it up.
Chores are a way and fact of life for many people. If you personally chose
not to have you children do their chores or responsibilty..then that is your
choice.
It just happens not to be mine or my husbands.
He would not appreciate working hard on the road for 6 days and see no dishes
washed, counters nasty greasy and the stove filthy, clothes thrown about the
house , or the house looking like a tornado with through it. That would not
be fair to him. He should have to come home and clean the kids mess. It is
not in our particular nature or culture to have dirty homes.
Energy flows better in a home that is not overly filty. cluttered or
dirty..... I am even starting to look into feng shui.
What will happen to your chldren if they don't?
That is private...... but it is dealt with, but we rarely have too. They know
that they have to pull their weight around here.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Fetteroll
on 1/11/03 9:37 PM, lurningathome@... at lurningathome@... wrote:
*had* to do chores that means you have no power over the situation. Nothing
you could do could change it.
But that's not true, is it? You *choose* to *make* them do chores.
I'm not implying you're an evil witch for making your children do chores.
Most people do that. But the words we use affects the way we view things.
There's a big mental outlook change between thinking we have to do something
and realizing we choose to do something.
giving other people an idea of who we are, this is a discussion list.
Anything that's posted is potential fodder for discussion.
up.
do everything.
Neither Kathy Ward nor Cheryl Seelhoff who have over 8 kids need to live in
filth nor clean up on their own behind them.
You are seeing only 3 choices: Living in filth, cleaning up after them,
making them do chores.
Most people are certain those are the only 3 choices. When they realize
there are more choices then they realize they don't have to make the
compromises that appeared to be part of just how life is.
If you've never had a child cry or be angry over chores or any of the things
you're certain they "have" to do, then there isn't any reason to find
another way.
But many people do come to the realization that they have been choosing to
take daily withdrawls from their own joy and their children's joy for
something that will be gone without a trace by the next day. (Or the next
hours sometimes!)
It hits some people hard when they realize they've been making their child
cry or be angry over a toilet that will be dirty again next week. We extract
a permanent price for something that isn't permanent.
they don't like the job, they know they can quit anytime and get a new one
that suits them better.
In life there are unpleasant tasks that adults choose to do (taking out
garbage, cleaning toilets) that they would rather not do. They don't *have*
to do them. They *choose* to do them because they don't like the
consequences of not doing them.
When it first hit me that I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to it
made it a whole lot easier to do the unpleasant tasks because I realized I
was *choosing* of my own free will to do them.
feels she can handle.
Joyce
> What? What do you mean? They have to because it is one of the rules in thisNo, I asked you to ponder why you used the phrase "have to". If your kids
> house. Alot of people kids do chores.....
*had* to do chores that means you have no power over the situation. Nothing
you could do could change it.
But that's not true, is it? You *choose* to *make* them do chores.
I'm not implying you're an evil witch for making your children do chores.
Most people do that. But the words we use affects the way we view things.
There's a big mental outlook change between thinking we have to do something
and realizing we choose to do something.
> People run their houses differently....... I will not defend that to anyone.Unlike casual conversation where we share parts of our lives as a way of
giving other people an idea of who we are, this is a discussion list.
Anything that's posted is potential fodder for discussion.
> Besides, I will not live in filthThere are people who don't live in filth who don't make their children clean
up.
> nor will I clean up behind them.There are people who don't make their children do chores who don't have to
do everything.
Neither Kathy Ward nor Cheryl Seelhoff who have over 8 kids need to live in
filth nor clean up on their own behind them.
You are seeing only 3 choices: Living in filth, cleaning up after them,
making them do chores.
Most people are certain those are the only 3 choices. When they realize
there are more choices then they realize they don't have to make the
compromises that appeared to be part of just how life is.
If you've never had a child cry or be angry over chores or any of the things
you're certain they "have" to do, then there isn't any reason to find
another way.
But many people do come to the realization that they have been choosing to
take daily withdrawls from their own joy and their children's joy for
something that will be gone without a trace by the next day. (Or the next
hours sometimes!)
It hits some people hard when they realize they've been making their child
cry or be angry over a toilet that will be dirty again next week. We extract
a permanent price for something that isn't permanent.
> If theyIn life people get to chose the (paying) jobs that match their interests. If
> mess it up it is their job to clean it up.
they don't like the job, they know they can quit anytime and get a new one
that suits them better.
In life there are unpleasant tasks that adults choose to do (taking out
garbage, cleaning toilets) that they would rather not do. They don't *have*
to do them. They *choose* to do them because they don't like the
consequences of not doing them.
When it first hit me that I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to it
made it a whole lot easier to do the unpleasant tasks because I realized I
was *choosing* of my own free will to do them.
> What will happen to your chldren if they don't?My daughter is happy and gladly helps unload the groceries and do things she
feels she can handle.
Joyce