Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] More about family life (Kelly)
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I dont mind if you answered my "Tuck" response.. lol.. I just put that in the
subject line diffferientiate it because I didnt want to copy all that Tuck
said.. :-) Now, about what you said... Thanks.. and I do think it will just
take time.. But hey, what have I got besides time? Here's a little snippet
of this afternoon, and me catching myself.. We stopped at our corner store
for snacks and gas.. I had just picked up Landon. The other kids and I had
been to the Y swimming for a couple of hours and we were really hungry. I
pulled in a parking space and we jumped out.. Then I said.. OH. Landon, I
forgot, I need to get gas. will you pull the van over to the pump and get $10
worth? He said.. No, Mom, I dont want to pump the gas. I said , Well, I am
getting you a snack in here ya know.(old habits). And he said.. Well, thats
OK, dont get me one, I have my own money. ( heres my 'catching myself part)
I said.. Landon, Im sorry, I am getting you a snack whether you pump the gas
or not, I just asked if you would. And he said.. well, your giving me a
choice and I said "no" I said,thats fine, I ll get it when we come out.. He
said.. Well, thank you. Hopefully, more of this type of exchange will lead
to me asking.. Landon, will you pump the gas while we get the snacks? And
him say.. Sure, Ill be glad to.. .. (fingers crossed)
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
subject line diffferientiate it because I didnt want to copy all that Tuck
said.. :-) Now, about what you said... Thanks.. and I do think it will just
take time.. But hey, what have I got besides time? Here's a little snippet
of this afternoon, and me catching myself.. We stopped at our corner store
for snacks and gas.. I had just picked up Landon. The other kids and I had
been to the Y swimming for a couple of hours and we were really hungry. I
pulled in a parking space and we jumped out.. Then I said.. OH. Landon, I
forgot, I need to get gas. will you pull the van over to the pump and get $10
worth? He said.. No, Mom, I dont want to pump the gas. I said , Well, I am
getting you a snack in here ya know.(old habits). And he said.. Well, thats
OK, dont get me one, I have my own money. ( heres my 'catching myself part)
I said.. Landon, Im sorry, I am getting you a snack whether you pump the gas
or not, I just asked if you would. And he said.. well, your giving me a
choice and I said "no" I said,thats fine, I ll get it when we come out.. He
said.. Well, thank you. Hopefully, more of this type of exchange will lead
to me asking.. Landon, will you pump the gas while we get the snacks? And
him say.. Sure, Ill be glad to.. .. (fingers crossed)
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Mary Bianco
>From: grlynbl@...<<(snip) Hopefully, more of this type of exchange will lead
to me asking.. Landon, will you pump the gas while we get the snacks? And
him say.. Sure, Ill be glad to.. .. (fingers crossed)>>
And more of that will make a difference as long as you don't lose patience
and keep reminding yourself not to say what you would usually say. He didn't
want to pump the gas probably because you were employing a tactic to
actually make him pump the gas. I do for you so now you have to do for me.
After him eventually seeing that you do for him without expecting anything
in return, he'll get why people do nice things for other people. Then he'll
get it do because he wants to, not cause he feels like he has to.
Mary B
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