Re: Grand Theft Auto
Pam Hartley
----------
anyone lately, though I do occasionally write fiction and kill off a
character. Most authors, songwriters, etc. don't enact in real life what
they do in their fantasies.
Rape is a common sexual fantasy of women (no, not all women, and we don't
need a poll on who doesn't have it as a fantasy and ewwww what's wrong with
people anyway <g>) but it doesn't mean they want to BE raped.
Most times, fantasy is just fantasy, and most people, children and adults,
can tell the difference.
You mentioned your 4 year old -- it's unlikely she'd ever see the game if
you didn't bring it home. If you have an older child who wants it it's
pretty easy to say, "Okay, but the little one isn't ready to see that kind
of stuff yet, so will you not play it while she's around?"
Pam
>From: [email protected]Going even beyond that, let's look at the creators -- I haven't murdered
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 2812
>Date: Tue, Jan 7, 2003, 4:07 PM
>
> Do you keep murder mysteries out of your house lest he become a murderer? Do
> you keep newspapers and TV news out of the house? (I kinda do, but that's
> personal preference.) Do you ever watch action movies where people have to
> defuse the bomb and have only ten seconds left? Does it make you want to
> learn to make bombs, or carry guns around?
anyone lately, though I do occasionally write fiction and kill off a
character. Most authors, songwriters, etc. don't enact in real life what
they do in their fantasies.
Rape is a common sexual fantasy of women (no, not all women, and we don't
need a poll on who doesn't have it as a fantasy and ewwww what's wrong with
people anyway <g>) but it doesn't mean they want to BE raped.
Most times, fantasy is just fantasy, and most people, children and adults,
can tell the difference.
You mentioned your 4 year old -- it's unlikely she'd ever see the game if
you didn't bring it home. If you have an older child who wants it it's
pretty easy to say, "Okay, but the little one isn't ready to see that kind
of stuff yet, so will you not play it while she's around?"
Pam
Pam Hartley
----------
freedom to make their own decision, even if it flies in the face of the
advice of the explainer.
My husband tells me sometimes, when I walk into a room, "This movie has
really graphic killing". He's not telling me, "You can't watch this." He's
helpfully informing me of something he knows from experience I'll want to
know, so I can make a better decision. I'll likely decide to leave the room.
He might tell his sister the exact same thing and her reaction would be to
say, "Awesome!" and plunk herself down. That's her choice, as she likes
gross movies and I don't. :)
So explanations are fine. Useful information imparted to someone you know
well is fine. Making decisions for people and then telling them why it's for
their own good is just plain annoying, and I'd be disappointed in my child
if she took such treatment meekly.
Pam
>From: [email protected]It doesn't matter much if there's "an explanation" unless the explainee has
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 2813
>Date: Tue, Jan 7, 2003, 6:02 PM
>
> If a parent refuses to allow something without ANY explanation, then I
> would agree that parental trust and respect is lacking. However, in
> my real life experience, most parents (homeschooling and otherwise) do
> not hand down outright refusals without clearly explaining their
> reasoning.
freedom to make their own decision, even if it flies in the face of the
advice of the explainer.
My husband tells me sometimes, when I walk into a room, "This movie has
really graphic killing". He's not telling me, "You can't watch this." He's
helpfully informing me of something he knows from experience I'll want to
know, so I can make a better decision. I'll likely decide to leave the room.
He might tell his sister the exact same thing and her reaction would be to
say, "Awesome!" and plunk herself down. That's her choice, as she likes
gross movies and I don't. :)
So explanations are fine. Useful information imparted to someone you know
well is fine. Making decisions for people and then telling them why it's for
their own good is just plain annoying, and I'd be disappointed in my child
if she took such treatment meekly.
Pam
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/7/03 9:23:37 PM Eastern Standard Time,
pamhartley@... writes:
but I did what is suggested, I sat down and watched, attempted playing it and
it amazed me the problem solving, the map skills! Zack only rented that one
but bought the strategy guide and relaly had a good time. It was very hard.
He recently bought Max Payne. It's about a paid assassin. Lots of gory
shooting with spraying blood.
He was asked to play it only when Max was asleep or elsewhere and for the
most part he did (maybe one or two reminders) He beat the game, it's done.
I'm sure Joey (dh) will figure out that it's pretty cool.
*~*Elissa Jill*~*
unschooling Momma to 3 beautiful brilliant people
Loving partner for life to Joey
terrible guitarist, fair singer and happy woman.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
pamhartley@... writes:
> . If you have an older child who wants it it'sThat's how it works in our house. I was a little nervous about GTA:Vice City
> pretty easy to say, "Okay, but the little one isn't ready to see that kind
> of stuff yet, so will you not play it while she's around?"
>
> Pam
>
>
but I did what is suggested, I sat down and watched, attempted playing it and
it amazed me the problem solving, the map skills! Zack only rented that one
but bought the strategy guide and relaly had a good time. It was very hard.
He recently bought Max Payne. It's about a paid assassin. Lots of gory
shooting with spraying blood.
He was asked to play it only when Max was asleep or elsewhere and for the
most part he did (maybe one or two reminders) He beat the game, it's done.
I'm sure Joey (dh) will figure out that it's pretty cool.
*~*Elissa Jill*~*
unschooling Momma to 3 beautiful brilliant people
Loving partner for life to Joey
terrible guitarist, fair singer and happy woman.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Suzanne Ackerson
Pam,
When my now 21 year old was 12 he was really into radio, including whatever was the current popular music and also talk radio. It seemed to be an obsession, but flying by the seat of my pants, I didn't try to change his listening habits though a lot of what I heard him listen to went against my grain.
He started to use his own money to buy CD's with parental advisories on them. I had a basic trust and respect for his long term innate goodness. I asked that he listen to those CD's in his room as he had a little 2 year old brother running around that was a little sharpy. When we were all in the car he chose the radio station and any time a song was coming on that he knew had mature lyrics he would turn it off out of respect for his little brother. In those days he said his little brother was his "best friend" even though he did enjoy friends of his own age. A girl down the street that was 14 came over to our house just to hear the CD's because her parents would not allow them in the house. This girl was a public schooler and did not live the tame life my son did as they both got older.
Anyway, my grown son is one of the kindest, most unselfish, most trustworthy people I know; a real credit to this planet. He is a music major, well liked by students and teachers and enjoys all kinds of music. He has composed gentle love songs, a few rap songs, film scores, video game music, classical type music,etc. He is not an angry or depressed type that so many of the lyrics he listened to as a young teen portrayed.
I truly hope that my 2nd son does not feel compelled to listen to CD's with parental advisories but I would make the same decision as I did the first time. I think "compelled" is the key word here. It wasn't a passing curiousity that my son could be distracted away from. It was almost a need of some sort that had to be respected.
Peace,
Suzanne
When my now 21 year old was 12 he was really into radio, including whatever was the current popular music and also talk radio. It seemed to be an obsession, but flying by the seat of my pants, I didn't try to change his listening habits though a lot of what I heard him listen to went against my grain.
He started to use his own money to buy CD's with parental advisories on them. I had a basic trust and respect for his long term innate goodness. I asked that he listen to those CD's in his room as he had a little 2 year old brother running around that was a little sharpy. When we were all in the car he chose the radio station and any time a song was coming on that he knew had mature lyrics he would turn it off out of respect for his little brother. In those days he said his little brother was his "best friend" even though he did enjoy friends of his own age. A girl down the street that was 14 came over to our house just to hear the CD's because her parents would not allow them in the house. This girl was a public schooler and did not live the tame life my son did as they both got older.
Anyway, my grown son is one of the kindest, most unselfish, most trustworthy people I know; a real credit to this planet. He is a music major, well liked by students and teachers and enjoys all kinds of music. He has composed gentle love songs, a few rap songs, film scores, video game music, classical type music,etc. He is not an angry or depressed type that so many of the lyrics he listened to as a young teen portrayed.
I truly hope that my 2nd son does not feel compelled to listen to CD's with parental advisories but I would make the same decision as I did the first time. I think "compelled" is the key word here. It wasn't a passing curiousity that my son could be distracted away from. It was almost a need of some sort that had to be respected.
Peace,
Suzanne
----- Original Message -----
From: Pam Hartley
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, January 07, 2003 8:16 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Grand Theft Auto
----------
>From: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 2812
>Date: Tue, Jan 7, 2003, 4:07 PM
>
> Do you keep murder mysteries out of your house lest he become a murderer? Do
> you keep newspapers and TV news out of the house? (I kinda do, but that's
> personal preference.) Do you ever watch action movies where people have to
> defuse the bomb and have only ten seconds left? Does it make you want to
> learn to make bombs, or carry guns around?
Going even beyond that, let's look at the creators -- I haven't murdered
anyone lately, though I do occasionally write fiction and kill off a
character. Most authors, songwriters, etc. don't enact in real life what
they do in their fantasies.
Rape is a common sexual fantasy of women (no, not all women, and we don't
need a poll on who doesn't have it as a fantasy and ewwww what's wrong with
people anyway <g>) but it doesn't mean they want to BE raped.
Most times, fantasy is just fantasy, and most people, children and adults,
can tell the difference.
You mentioned your 4 year old -- it's unlikely she'd ever see the game if
you didn't bring it home. If you have an older child who wants it it's
pretty easy to say, "Okay, but the little one isn't ready to see that kind
of stuff yet, so will you not play it while she's around?"
Pam
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/7/2003 8:40:25 PM Central Standard Time,
pamhartley@... writes:
I asked my 20 yo if Windtalkers was gory, and he said it was "okay". So, dh
and 9 yo and I popped it in and crawled in bed. Will and I spent most of the
movie with our heads under the covers. It was horribly gory and violent, and
it wasn't a great movie to begin with.
I apparently had forgotten that said 20 yo was home from boot camp. Gory is
a relative term! :P
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
pamhartley@... writes:
> My husband tells me sometimes, when I walk into a room, "This movie hasThat's very nice of him.
> really graphic killing".
I asked my 20 yo if Windtalkers was gory, and he said it was "okay". So, dh
and 9 yo and I popped it in and crawled in bed. Will and I spent most of the
movie with our heads under the covers. It was horribly gory and violent, and
it wasn't a great movie to begin with.
I apparently had forgotten that said 20 yo was home from boot camp. Gory is
a relative term! :P
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Hartley
----------
Plus, early in our relationship, he rented Pet Sematary and when I asked if
it was scary, he said, "Oh, no, not really" (this based on the standards of
him and two horror-movie loving sisters!)
He had never before encountered wimpiness of my caliber. <g>
Pam
>From: [email protected]He's a nice man.
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 2817
>Date: Wed, Jan 8, 2003, 6:56 AM
>
>> My husband tells me sometimes, when I walk into a room, "This movie has
>> really graphic killing".
>
> That's very nice of him.
Plus, early in our relationship, he rented Pet Sematary and when I asked if
it was scary, he said, "Oh, no, not really" (this based on the standards of
him and two horror-movie loving sisters!)
He had never before encountered wimpiness of my caliber. <g>
Pam
Tia Leschke
> I asked my 20 yo if Windtalkers was gory, and he said it was "okay". So,dh
> and 9 yo and I popped it in and crawled in bed. Will and I spent most ofthe
> movie with our heads under the covers. It was horribly gory and violent,and
> it wasn't a great movie to begin with.When Lars rented Saving Private Ryan I had heard it was pretty graphic, so I
watched it with him. Guess who was upset by that movie? <g>
Tia
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/8/03 5:10:24 PM Eastern Standard Time, leschke@...
writes:
disturbing, but wonderful
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
writes:
> When Lars rented Saving Private Ryan I had heard it was pretty graphic, so IProbably anybody that watched it.. It was great though. gruesome and
> watched it with him. Guess who was upset by that movie? <g>
>
disturbing, but wonderful
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tia Leschke
>so I
> > When Lars rented Saving Private Ryan I had heard it was pretty graphic,
> > watched it with him. Guess who was upset by that movie? <g>Didn't seem to bother Lars. He looked at me like I was crazy when I started
> >
>
> Probably anybody that watched it.. It was great though. gruesome and
> disturbing, but wonderful
crying.
Tia