Understanding Unschooling Lifestyle
[email protected]
I understand about the unschooling way of thought when it comes to how a
child learns and how parents let them learn, but I don't understand how most
unschoolers raise their children. What I mean is at what age and what things
do parents let children make their own decisions. I'm talking about everyday
living, which is what unschooling is about.
Could unschoolers give specific examples about the choices they let their
children make and at what ages did they do that. The specific examples may
include things like brushing their teeth, picking up after themselves, taking
a bath, eating what they want, getting dressed, going to Church, deciding
what to wear, riding their bikes in the road, going to bed at night, and
other things like that. I would also like to know any stories about how you
may have changed, or what things worked and didn't work and the reasons you
feel they worked or didn't work.
Thank you!
Patti
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
child learns and how parents let them learn, but I don't understand how most
unschoolers raise their children. What I mean is at what age and what things
do parents let children make their own decisions. I'm talking about everyday
living, which is what unschooling is about.
Could unschoolers give specific examples about the choices they let their
children make and at what ages did they do that. The specific examples may
include things like brushing their teeth, picking up after themselves, taking
a bath, eating what they want, getting dressed, going to Church, deciding
what to wear, riding their bikes in the road, going to bed at night, and
other things like that. I would also like to know any stories about how you
may have changed, or what things worked and didn't work and the reasons you
feel they worked or didn't work.
Thank you!
Patti
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/7/2003 10:36:20 AM Eastern Standard Time,
HappyMato2@... writes:
I'm sure you'll get a few responses to this, but these exact questions have
been answered on the message boards---and many of them have their own
folders! You can read and read and read---for weeks and months on the message
boards for specific examples from many of these same posters and others.
feel they worked or didn't work.<<
You're right: unschooling IS a lifestyle. It'll encompass your whole being.
It's life-changing for the entire family ---and for many people around you.
Nagging doesn't work. Shaming doesn't work. Demanding doesn't work. Kindness,
sharing, humility, and respect work great! <G>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
HappyMato2@... writes:
> Could unschoolers give specific examples about the choices they let theirPatti,
> children make and at what ages did they do that. The specific examples may
>
> include things like brushing their teeth, picking up after themselves,
> taking
> a bath, eating what they want, getting dressed, going to Church, deciding
> what to wear, riding their bikes in the road, going to bed at night, and
> other things like that.
I'm sure you'll get a few responses to this, but these exact questions have
been answered on the message boards---and many of them have their own
folders! You can read and read and read---for weeks and months on the message
boards for specific examples from many of these same posters and others.
>>I would also like to know any stories about how youmay have changed, or what things worked and didn't work and the reasons you
feel they worked or didn't work.<<
You're right: unschooling IS a lifestyle. It'll encompass your whole being.
It's life-changing for the entire family ---and for many people around you.
Nagging doesn't work. Shaming doesn't work. Demanding doesn't work. Kindness,
sharing, humility, and respect work great! <G>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/7/03 10:36:20 AM Eastern Standard Time,
HappyMato2@... writes:
to keep relatively healthy foods in the house. We are vegetarians but they
are always allowed to eat what they want when we go out. They also decide
when they want to eat and how much. My boys decide what they want to wear
and do not want to wear (another humorous story) and have always done so.
They decide about TV and PS2. Also make their own decisions about computer
games. I do make them brush their teeth. Actually I have always brushed
their teeth (they are 8 and 5 now). The dentist is a phobia of mine. I make
health related decisions at this point and safety related decisions like
riding their bike in the road. That will probably change as they age.
Although we do discuss everything. I do tell them why I feel it is necessary
that they see the dentist. And they do love the dentist she is great. They
are allowed to express their opinions on the subject and are also allowed to
their feelings. We do a lot of talking.
They pick up their rooms when they feel they need to, like when a friend is
coming over and they want to play in their room. I pick up their toys when
they get in my way. They do leave a lot of projects and toys in progress
like LEGOs around the house and that is not a problem. They pick those up
when they need a place to play. I am not a neat freak by any means. We each
have our own computers. I keep mine neat. They do not. But it doesn't seem
to bother them and it doesn't bother me.
Anyway just a few of the things we do. LOL
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
HappyMato2@... writes:
> Could unschoolers give specific examples about the choices they let theirWe have always let our children decide what they wanted to eat although I try
> children make and at what ages did they do that.
to keep relatively healthy foods in the house. We are vegetarians but they
are always allowed to eat what they want when we go out. They also decide
when they want to eat and how much. My boys decide what they want to wear
and do not want to wear (another humorous story) and have always done so.
They decide about TV and PS2. Also make their own decisions about computer
games. I do make them brush their teeth. Actually I have always brushed
their teeth (they are 8 and 5 now). The dentist is a phobia of mine. I make
health related decisions at this point and safety related decisions like
riding their bike in the road. That will probably change as they age.
Although we do discuss everything. I do tell them why I feel it is necessary
that they see the dentist. And they do love the dentist she is great. They
are allowed to express their opinions on the subject and are also allowed to
their feelings. We do a lot of talking.
They pick up their rooms when they feel they need to, like when a friend is
coming over and they want to play in their room. I pick up their toys when
they get in my way. They do leave a lot of projects and toys in progress
like LEGOs around the house and that is not a problem. They pick those up
when they need a place to play. I am not a neat freak by any means. We each
have our own computers. I keep mine neat. They do not. But it doesn't seem
to bother them and it doesn't bother me.
Anyway just a few of the things we do. LOL
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/7/03 8:36:20 AM, HappyMato2@... writes:
<< What I mean is at what age and what things
do parents let children make their own decisions. I'm talking about everyday
living, which is what unschooling is about. >>
I wouldn't let a four year old decide whether to cruise with his friends and
stay out all night, but I do let Kirby now that he's 16. Their cruising
goes straight to someone's house to play games. And when he was four he
didn't WANT to go anywhere or stay out all night, so that was easy.
Maybe what I'm saying is that I WOULD let a four year old. I just never had
a four year old who didn't want to hang out with me!
But if I gave them no choice they couldn't possibly be staying home with me
by choice.
When they were little and we went to playdays at the park, before we were
homeschoolers, it was a La Leche League babysitting co-op park day, so the
families were all into attachment parenting. That helped. And attachment
parenting says if you let the kids be with you all they want to, they will
eventually want to walk away and explore the world on their own.
The really cool thing is if you let a baby sit with you and climb on you and
nurse on you and sleep on your lap, if he gets up and toddles away toward the
playground, you know he truly WANTS to go to the playground. And so his
experience is different from a kid whose mom said, "We came to the
playground, now GO PLAY. And make it snappy."
And if a child WANTS to go to the playground, he might or might not need a
mom following right behind him. Depends on the place and the child. And if
he says "Come with me," and you say "OKAY!" (instead of "No, I'm talking to
my friends, you go play by yourself") then he starts getting some life long
confidence that if he needs his mom to come, she will.
This morning at 10:00 there was a phone call for Kirby. "Kirby's asleep."
"I know, I'm sorry. This is Ryan. I really need to talk to him."
"Okay." And I start hobbling up the stairs to Kirby's room. I trust Ryan.
He's older, 20 maybe, and works with Kirby at the gaming shop. He and his
girlfriend hang out with Kirby socially at least twice a week. On the way I
reminded him I'm slow because of the leg, and he said, "Glen's dad had a
stroke, so they had to go to Alamogordo."
Alamogordo is a four hour drive to the southeast. Glen is the owner's
husband and "they" are Glen and his wife Jodi, who owns the shop.
Kirby wasn't in his bed. His friend Joey was on a futon on the floor, so I
had to wake Joey up. Before I went to sleep, I passed on the two Kirby phone
messages: Kevin called and Will called. So I said, "Joey, did Kirby go home
with Will?"
"Yeah."
I told Ryan I'd call Kirby. So I end up waking up Will (who trusts me) who
woke up Kirby, and another friend also staying over there took Kirby to work
at 11:30. He'll work until 3:30 when he goes to karate for two hours.
I told Kirby that if none of those guys at Will's could give him a ride, I
would go and get him if he could call and wait outside. I can drive short
distances now, and it's not that far. He called when he knew he had another
ride. But the idea that his mom would come and get him if necessary was as
true today as it was fourteen years ago when he was two and exploring the
park.
Holly just walked in and said "I wish we were like most families."
Not because I want to go to school, but because I want you to be making
BREAKFAST for me."
"It's 1:03, Holly." (She woke up at 11:45 and as been taking a leisurely
shower.)
"Then I want you to be making LUNCH for me."
So I did, and came back to finish this.
Sandra
<< What I mean is at what age and what things
do parents let children make their own decisions. I'm talking about everyday
living, which is what unschooling is about. >>
I wouldn't let a four year old decide whether to cruise with his friends and
stay out all night, but I do let Kirby now that he's 16. Their cruising
goes straight to someone's house to play games. And when he was four he
didn't WANT to go anywhere or stay out all night, so that was easy.
Maybe what I'm saying is that I WOULD let a four year old. I just never had
a four year old who didn't want to hang out with me!
But if I gave them no choice they couldn't possibly be staying home with me
by choice.
When they were little and we went to playdays at the park, before we were
homeschoolers, it was a La Leche League babysitting co-op park day, so the
families were all into attachment parenting. That helped. And attachment
parenting says if you let the kids be with you all they want to, they will
eventually want to walk away and explore the world on their own.
The really cool thing is if you let a baby sit with you and climb on you and
nurse on you and sleep on your lap, if he gets up and toddles away toward the
playground, you know he truly WANTS to go to the playground. And so his
experience is different from a kid whose mom said, "We came to the
playground, now GO PLAY. And make it snappy."
And if a child WANTS to go to the playground, he might or might not need a
mom following right behind him. Depends on the place and the child. And if
he says "Come with me," and you say "OKAY!" (instead of "No, I'm talking to
my friends, you go play by yourself") then he starts getting some life long
confidence that if he needs his mom to come, she will.
This morning at 10:00 there was a phone call for Kirby. "Kirby's asleep."
"I know, I'm sorry. This is Ryan. I really need to talk to him."
"Okay." And I start hobbling up the stairs to Kirby's room. I trust Ryan.
He's older, 20 maybe, and works with Kirby at the gaming shop. He and his
girlfriend hang out with Kirby socially at least twice a week. On the way I
reminded him I'm slow because of the leg, and he said, "Glen's dad had a
stroke, so they had to go to Alamogordo."
Alamogordo is a four hour drive to the southeast. Glen is the owner's
husband and "they" are Glen and his wife Jodi, who owns the shop.
Kirby wasn't in his bed. His friend Joey was on a futon on the floor, so I
had to wake Joey up. Before I went to sleep, I passed on the two Kirby phone
messages: Kevin called and Will called. So I said, "Joey, did Kirby go home
with Will?"
"Yeah."
I told Ryan I'd call Kirby. So I end up waking up Will (who trusts me) who
woke up Kirby, and another friend also staying over there took Kirby to work
at 11:30. He'll work until 3:30 when he goes to karate for two hours.
I told Kirby that if none of those guys at Will's could give him a ride, I
would go and get him if he could call and wait outside. I can drive short
distances now, and it's not that far. He called when he knew he had another
ride. But the idea that his mom would come and get him if necessary was as
true today as it was fourteen years ago when he was two and exploring the
park.
Holly just walked in and said "I wish we were like most families."
Not because I want to go to school, but because I want you to be making
BREAKFAST for me."
"It's 1:03, Holly." (She woke up at 11:45 and as been taking a leisurely
shower.)
"Then I want you to be making LUNCH for me."
So I did, and came back to finish this.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/7/03 8:55:40 AM, kbcdlovejo@... writes:
<< I'm sure you'll get a few responses to this, but these exact questions
have
been answered on the message boards---and many of them have their own
folders! You can read and read and read---for weeks and months on the message
boards for specific examples from many of these same posters and others. >>
She means at www.unschooling.com
(those message boards)
<< I'm sure you'll get a few responses to this, but these exact questions
have
been answered on the message boards---and many of them have their own
folders! You can read and read and read---for weeks and months on the message
boards for specific examples from many of these same posters and others. >>
She means at www.unschooling.com
(those message boards)
Tia Leschke
> Holly just walked in and said "I wish we were like most families."Holy steamroom, Batman! I thought Lars took long showers.
> Not because I want to go to school, but because I want you to be making
> BREAKFAST for me."
>
> "It's 1:03, Holly." (She woke up at 11:45 and as been taking a leisurely
> shower.)
>
Tia
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/7/03 2:29:58 PM, leschke@... writes:
<< > "It's 1:03, Holly." (She woke up at 11:45 and as been taking a leisurely
Holly holds the record here. She had the stretching, though, and the
straightening up her morning toys, and the going to get milk, and then the
towelling and fluffing her new haircut.
She's some kind of little beauty queen. It's very foreign to us.
Sandra
<< > "It's 1:03, Holly." (She woke up at 11:45 and as been taking a leisurely
> shower.)<<Holy steamroom, Batman! I thought Lars took long showers. >>
>
Holly holds the record here. She had the stretching, though, and the
straightening up her morning toys, and the going to get milk, and then the
towelling and fluffing her new haircut.
She's some kind of little beauty queen. It's very foreign to us.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/7/03 12:29:17 PM Pacific Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
Patti
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> << I'm sure you'll get a few responses to this, but these exact questionsI'll do that! I love to read.
> have
> been answered on the message boards---and many of them have their own
> folders! You can read and read and read---for weeks and months on the
> message
> boards for specific examples from many of these same posters and others. >>
>
Patti
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]