Bordeom/Was--Re: Intro and a confession
Julie Bogart <[email protected]>
Hi Wende.
You said:
Point taken. But mostly, unmotivated to choose her own things to
do. She
often comes to me with the "Mom, I'm bored" thing. I will give her
some
ideas, and she usually asks me to choose. I often wonder if I
have too
many things available to her, making it tough for her to make a
decision.
Does anyone else have this problem?
--
When I worked with La Leche League years ago (was a leader
for ten years), I used to notice a couple of extremes in the
application of total breastfeeding. One was that the mother
became so consumed with responding to every single need of
the baby, (fearful that the baby would be damaged if it ever cried
or fussed) that she became tired and resentful of the little baby
for doing what it does naturally--and that is, cries for attention
and milk. Usually this mom would neglect other children, the
home and spouse all to prevent a fussy baby. The second
extreme was that the mother felt that if she deviated from the
philosphy of "demand feeding" at all, that she was a bad mother.
This kind of mom often rebounded into a scheduled approach to
nursing with the next baby.
But does that mean that demand feeding isn't best for the baby?
No. But it also doesn't mean that if a baby sits in a swing or uses
a pacifer or is rocked to sleep by dad that the mother has
suddenly abandonned her original philosophy either. Common
sense.
I think moms forget that we are a part of the relationships we
nurture. We do have a responsiblity to express our own needs
and to see that they get met while still meeting those of our kids.
As adults, we are better at delaying the gratification of our needs
than our children are, so we should be more clever in how we
meet both their needs and in how we preserve our sanity.
Common courtesy and mutual respect are part of being in a
family.
When you say that your daughter comes to you bored, that is a
very real emotion. But it isn't your job to solve it, even though it
feels like it is. It's your job to support her during her boredom
with a hug and comments like: "Wow. I hate being bored. I bet
you do too."
Then get back to work on the thing that is engaging your
attention. Or invite her to help you out, if that's appropriate (in our
house, boredom can always be overcome with housekeeping if
someone wants to go on and on about it).
Boredom is a precursor to meaningful discovery and
engagement. But not if it is assuaged too quickly with a pacifier
("Here, draw this." or "Have you read this book?")
Seems to me that one of the misconceptions of unschooling
may be that we are responsbile to make sure that our kids don't
suffer or have negative emotions--life should be continually full.
But it isn't.
Julie~~who is screwing her courage to take the same leap of
faith with teens.
You said:
Point taken. But mostly, unmotivated to choose her own things to
do. She
often comes to me with the "Mom, I'm bored" thing. I will give her
some
ideas, and she usually asks me to choose. I often wonder if I
have too
many things available to her, making it tough for her to make a
decision.
Does anyone else have this problem?
--
When I worked with La Leche League years ago (was a leader
for ten years), I used to notice a couple of extremes in the
application of total breastfeeding. One was that the mother
became so consumed with responding to every single need of
the baby, (fearful that the baby would be damaged if it ever cried
or fussed) that she became tired and resentful of the little baby
for doing what it does naturally--and that is, cries for attention
and milk. Usually this mom would neglect other children, the
home and spouse all to prevent a fussy baby. The second
extreme was that the mother felt that if she deviated from the
philosphy of "demand feeding" at all, that she was a bad mother.
This kind of mom often rebounded into a scheduled approach to
nursing with the next baby.
But does that mean that demand feeding isn't best for the baby?
No. But it also doesn't mean that if a baby sits in a swing or uses
a pacifer or is rocked to sleep by dad that the mother has
suddenly abandonned her original philosophy either. Common
sense.
I think moms forget that we are a part of the relationships we
nurture. We do have a responsiblity to express our own needs
and to see that they get met while still meeting those of our kids.
As adults, we are better at delaying the gratification of our needs
than our children are, so we should be more clever in how we
meet both their needs and in how we preserve our sanity.
Common courtesy and mutual respect are part of being in a
family.
When you say that your daughter comes to you bored, that is a
very real emotion. But it isn't your job to solve it, even though it
feels like it is. It's your job to support her during her boredom
with a hug and comments like: "Wow. I hate being bored. I bet
you do too."
Then get back to work on the thing that is engaging your
attention. Or invite her to help you out, if that's appropriate (in our
house, boredom can always be overcome with housekeeping if
someone wants to go on and on about it).
Boredom is a precursor to meaningful discovery and
engagement. But not if it is assuaged too quickly with a pacifier
("Here, draw this." or "Have you read this book?")
Seems to me that one of the misconceptions of unschooling
may be that we are responsbile to make sure that our kids don't
suffer or have negative emotions--life should be continually full.
But it isn't.
Julie~~who is screwing her courage to take the same leap of
faith with teens.
[email protected]
I didn't just write this today, but I feel more strongly about it now than I
did when I wrote it.
The text is below, but it's regular home is
http://sandradodd.com/BoredNoMore.html
And it's called Bored No More
Another homeschooling mom once wrote, “It's a valuable lesson to learn to
deal with boredom, just like all other emotions.”
Until I read that, I hadn’t ever thought of boredom as an emotion. I liked
the idea. When a child comes to me seeking advice on how to deal with any
emotional state, I'm flattered and glad for the opportunity.
Traditionally in this culture boredom is seen as a state of sin. “I’m bored”
is met by unthinking parents with, “Then mop the kitchen,” or “You have a
thousand dollars’ worth of toys, you can’t be bored,” or “Boredom’s good
for you.” I believe the VERY common habit of belittling children who use the
word “bored” should be rethought (or “thought,” since it seems many parents
have never considered it carefully but just repeat what their parents said to
them).
If a child came and said she was heartbroken would you tell her she was a
brat and should clean the garage? If a child came and said he was angry
enough to hit would you say, “Then sit down and read a book whether you want
to or not”? Wouldn’t you try to help them? It's nonsensical to me that some
parents shame their children for saying they are at a loss about what to do
next.
The most to be accomplished from punishing or sending bored kids away is that
the kids will learn not to go to that parent for advice and ideas.
Sometimes the real message behind "I'm bored" is "I'm little and feeling
agitated and vaguely unhappy and I don't know what I can do to get over this
uncomfortable feeling. What would you do if you were my age, in this house,
on a day like this?"
I think that deserves a helpful, respectful response.
It is rare that my children say, “I’m bored,” but when they do I walk with
them where they are, or to some other part of the house, thinking quickly
about what I might have that they have never seen, or haven’t seen for a
while. I think of art supplies or games or toys or musical instruments they
haven’t thought of for a long time. I scan my mind and the house for things
which would provide some visual, auditory, olfactory, or mental stimulation,
preferably two or three of those. Tactile stimulation is good too--perhaps
the offer of a shower or bath with new/different toys, or different soap or
something. Sometimes “watering the yard” (playing with the hose) will do.
When a baby cries for no clear reason, parents will often joyfully see
whether the baby means “I’m uncomfortable.” They’ll try a change of
clothes, physical contact, a change of temperature, more air, less air, hot
food, cold food, a stroll outside, a car ride, SOMETHING different. Older
kids have the same needs, and the expression of that need might come through
as whining, irritability, or a claim of boredom.
Maybe it’s not physical need, but intellectual need. Boredom is a desire for
input which unschooling parents should welcome. It’s a child saying “How can
I add excitement to my life?” This can be a big opportunity to introduce a
new subject, activity, or thought-collection.
Maybe it’s an emotional need, and the parent’s undivided attention for a
little while will solve the problem. A walk, some joking, a hug, inquiries
about progress on the child’s projects or plans or friends might serve many
purposes at once. If after a walk and a talk the child is not quite
refreshed, you still had that time together, which made “I’m bored” a useful
invitation to bonding.
Sometimes “bored” means tired, low on energy, needing a break from conscious
thought and responsibility. Arranging a nap, or putting on a soothing video
(even for older kids--a romance instead of an action flick, or light drama
instead of comedy), leaving a pillow on the couch and herding the rest of the
family in other directions might result in an unplanned but needed nap.
I’m grown. I still get bored occasionally. Thinking about why I’m bored and
forgiving myself for being bored have helped me assist my children in
learning some coping skills they can use in their own lives. I have also used
my occasional boredom as a trigger to seek out the kids. If there’s a lull in
my life now I should fill it with those children who will be gone too soon.
Welcome opportunities to learn about when and why your child asks for your
advice and stimulation. The threshhold of needing the parent will change over
time, and parents can really use knowing where it is and seeing the benefit
in it. One complaint of parents of school kids is that communications are
lacking or are misunderstood. Homeschoolers have the fulltime luxury of the
chance to do better. Unschoolers have the added advantage of “counting”
every interaction as a learning experience. Self awareness, interpersonal
skills, creativity and compassion all come into play when a child and a
parent can build an uplifting memory from “I’m bored.”
did when I wrote it.
The text is below, but it's regular home is
http://sandradodd.com/BoredNoMore.html
And it's called Bored No More
Another homeschooling mom once wrote, “It's a valuable lesson to learn to
deal with boredom, just like all other emotions.”
Until I read that, I hadn’t ever thought of boredom as an emotion. I liked
the idea. When a child comes to me seeking advice on how to deal with any
emotional state, I'm flattered and glad for the opportunity.
Traditionally in this culture boredom is seen as a state of sin. “I’m bored”
is met by unthinking parents with, “Then mop the kitchen,” or “You have a
thousand dollars’ worth of toys, you can’t be bored,” or “Boredom’s good
for you.” I believe the VERY common habit of belittling children who use the
word “bored” should be rethought (or “thought,” since it seems many parents
have never considered it carefully but just repeat what their parents said to
them).
If a child came and said she was heartbroken would you tell her she was a
brat and should clean the garage? If a child came and said he was angry
enough to hit would you say, “Then sit down and read a book whether you want
to or not”? Wouldn’t you try to help them? It's nonsensical to me that some
parents shame their children for saying they are at a loss about what to do
next.
The most to be accomplished from punishing or sending bored kids away is that
the kids will learn not to go to that parent for advice and ideas.
Sometimes the real message behind "I'm bored" is "I'm little and feeling
agitated and vaguely unhappy and I don't know what I can do to get over this
uncomfortable feeling. What would you do if you were my age, in this house,
on a day like this?"
I think that deserves a helpful, respectful response.
It is rare that my children say, “I’m bored,” but when they do I walk with
them where they are, or to some other part of the house, thinking quickly
about what I might have that they have never seen, or haven’t seen for a
while. I think of art supplies or games or toys or musical instruments they
haven’t thought of for a long time. I scan my mind and the house for things
which would provide some visual, auditory, olfactory, or mental stimulation,
preferably two or three of those. Tactile stimulation is good too--perhaps
the offer of a shower or bath with new/different toys, or different soap or
something. Sometimes “watering the yard” (playing with the hose) will do.
When a baby cries for no clear reason, parents will often joyfully see
whether the baby means “I’m uncomfortable.” They’ll try a change of
clothes, physical contact, a change of temperature, more air, less air, hot
food, cold food, a stroll outside, a car ride, SOMETHING different. Older
kids have the same needs, and the expression of that need might come through
as whining, irritability, or a claim of boredom.
Maybe it’s not physical need, but intellectual need. Boredom is a desire for
input which unschooling parents should welcome. It’s a child saying “How can
I add excitement to my life?” This can be a big opportunity to introduce a
new subject, activity, or thought-collection.
Maybe it’s an emotional need, and the parent’s undivided attention for a
little while will solve the problem. A walk, some joking, a hug, inquiries
about progress on the child’s projects or plans or friends might serve many
purposes at once. If after a walk and a talk the child is not quite
refreshed, you still had that time together, which made “I’m bored” a useful
invitation to bonding.
Sometimes “bored” means tired, low on energy, needing a break from conscious
thought and responsibility. Arranging a nap, or putting on a soothing video
(even for older kids--a romance instead of an action flick, or light drama
instead of comedy), leaving a pillow on the couch and herding the rest of the
family in other directions might result in an unplanned but needed nap.
I’m grown. I still get bored occasionally. Thinking about why I’m bored and
forgiving myself for being bored have helped me assist my children in
learning some coping skills they can use in their own lives. I have also used
my occasional boredom as a trigger to seek out the kids. If there’s a lull in
my life now I should fill it with those children who will be gone too soon.
Welcome opportunities to learn about when and why your child asks for your
advice and stimulation. The threshhold of needing the parent will change over
time, and parents can really use knowing where it is and seeing the benefit
in it. One complaint of parents of school kids is that communications are
lacking or are misunderstood. Homeschoolers have the fulltime luxury of the
chance to do better. Unschoolers have the added advantage of “counting”
every interaction as a learning experience. Self awareness, interpersonal
skills, creativity and compassion all come into play when a child and a
parent can build an uplifting memory from “I’m bored.”
Julie Bogart <[email protected]>
--- In [email protected],
SandraDodd@a... wrote:
how I think about home life. Wow. I had never realized that we (I)
shame our kids for being bored.
Thank you Sandra for posting this.
Julie
SandraDodd@a... wrote:
>than I
>
> I didn't just write this today, but I feel more strongly about it now
> did when I wrote it.Well, if this is all I read for the next week, it's enough to change
>
> The text is below, but it's regular home is
> http://sandradodd.com/BoredNoMore.html
>
> And it's called Bored No More
>
how I think about home life. Wow. I had never realized that we (I)
shame our kids for being bored.
Thank you Sandra for posting this.
Julie
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/6/03 12:16:08 PM, julie@... writes:
<< Well, if this is all I read for the next week, it's enough to change
how I think about home life. Wow. I had never realized that we (I)
shame our kids for being bored.
discussion board (on AOL) said boredom was an emotion. AND WHAM!!! I
thought how horrible to tell a child he shouldn't be bored! My mom used to
tell me I wasn't hungry. Or "That's not anything to be unhappy about." And
I thought telling a kid he had no right to be bored had to be just the same
kind of thing, so I quit right then.
There are other things I've learned out of the swirl of idea-exchanges like
this, and one of the other life changing ones for me was people saying that
if they wanted their houses to be a certain way that was THEIR problem. And
I hadn't seen it ever as "a problem" before (although I'm not a good
housekeeper, and really quite a packrat). I thought wanting a clean house
was right and normal and justifiable and commendable, and the fact that I
hadn't figured out how to do it meant I was some kind of slacker who had no
skill to be that organized. Maybe that latter part is true, but I no longer
believe that the former is true.
So if I want the dishes done, I just do them! And I'm SO much happier
thinking "I did the dishes because I felt like it!"
We have hard water and so calcium forms in and around sink fixtures, and the
toilets get rings of calcium from mineral water. I bought a
pumice-on-a-stick toilet cleaning tool and went after the two worst toilets
and made them look new. I didn't even tell anybody. If they notice, fine;
if not, fine. I *THINK* they don't care one way or another. But for me, it
was like a secret difficult project, and I was glad to have my leg well
enough that I could do something like that. I don't think anyone wiped a
toilet off while I was immobilized, but they also didn't die of germ-borne
diseases, and they were all VERY great taking care of me, so rather than rise
up and shame them about their lack of desire to scrub toilets, I cleaned
toilets while thinking how grateful I was to have a happy family without a
bunch of stress and fighting.
Sandra
<< Well, if this is all I read for the next week, it's enough to change
how I think about home life. Wow. I had never realized that we (I)
shame our kids for being bored.
>>I used to too, until someone (and I wish I remembered who) on an unschooling
discussion board (on AOL) said boredom was an emotion. AND WHAM!!! I
thought how horrible to tell a child he shouldn't be bored! My mom used to
tell me I wasn't hungry. Or "That's not anything to be unhappy about." And
I thought telling a kid he had no right to be bored had to be just the same
kind of thing, so I quit right then.
There are other things I've learned out of the swirl of idea-exchanges like
this, and one of the other life changing ones for me was people saying that
if they wanted their houses to be a certain way that was THEIR problem. And
I hadn't seen it ever as "a problem" before (although I'm not a good
housekeeper, and really quite a packrat). I thought wanting a clean house
was right and normal and justifiable and commendable, and the fact that I
hadn't figured out how to do it meant I was some kind of slacker who had no
skill to be that organized. Maybe that latter part is true, but I no longer
believe that the former is true.
So if I want the dishes done, I just do them! And I'm SO much happier
thinking "I did the dishes because I felt like it!"
We have hard water and so calcium forms in and around sink fixtures, and the
toilets get rings of calcium from mineral water. I bought a
pumice-on-a-stick toilet cleaning tool and went after the two worst toilets
and made them look new. I didn't even tell anybody. If they notice, fine;
if not, fine. I *THINK* they don't care one way or another. But for me, it
was like a secret difficult project, and I was glad to have my leg well
enough that I could do something like that. I don't think anyone wiped a
toilet off while I was immobilized, but they also didn't die of germ-borne
diseases, and they were all VERY great taking care of me, so rather than rise
up and shame them about their lack of desire to scrub toilets, I cleaned
toilets while thinking how grateful I was to have a happy family without a
bunch of stress and fighting.
Sandra
[email protected]
Hi- I'm fairly new to this list and I've been reading for several days trying to figure out the how to's to unschooling and today the light went on.... my 5 yo keeps coming to saying she's bored and I've been sending her away like one of the other mom's said. I will not do it again! Thanks for sharing your insights, I love this statement: "Boredom is a precursor to meaningful discovery and engagement." I love this group.
Thanks again.
"Julie Bogart <julie@...>" <julie@...> wrote:Hi Wende.
You said:
Point taken. But mostly, unmotivated to choose her own things to
do. She
often comes to me with the "Mom, I'm bored" thing. I will give her
some
ideas, and she usually asks me to choose. I often wonder if I
have too
many things available to her, making it tough for her to make a
decision.
Does anyone else have this problem?
--
When I worked with La Leche League years ago (was a leader
for ten years), I used to notice a couple of extremes in the
application of total breastfeeding. One was that the mother
became so consumed with responding to every single need of
the baby, (fearful that the baby would be damaged if it ever cried
or fussed) that she became tired and resentful of the little baby
for doing what it does naturally--and that is, cries for attention
and milk. Usually this mom would neglect other children, the
home and spouse all to prevent a fussy baby. The second
extreme was that the mother felt that if she deviated from the
philosphy of "demand feeding" at all, that she was a bad mother.
This kind of mom often rebounded into a scheduled approach to
nursing with the next baby.
But does that mean that demand feeding isn't best for the baby?
No. But it also doesn't mean that if a baby sits in a swing or uses
a pacifer or is rocked to sleep by dad that the mother has
suddenly abandonned her original philosophy either. Common
sense.
I think moms forget that we are a part of the relationships we
nurture. We do have a responsiblity to express our own needs
and to see that they get met while still meeting those of our kids.
As adults, we are better at delaying the gratification of our needs
than our children are, so we should be more clever in how we
meet both their needs and in how we preserve our sanity.
Common courtesy and mutual respect are part of being in a
family.
When you say that your daughter comes to you bored, that is a
very real emotion. But it isn't your job to solve it, even though it
feels like it is. It's your job to support her during her boredom
with a hug and comments like: "Wow. I hate being bored. I bet
you do too."
Then get back to work on the thing that is engaging your
attention. Or invite her to help you out, if that's appropriate (in our
house, boredom can always be overcome with housekeeping if
someone wants to go on and on about it).
Boredom is a precursor to meaningful discovery and
engagement. But not if it is assuaged too quickly with a pacifier
("Here, draw this." or "Have you read this book?")
Seems to me that one of the misconceptions of unschooling
may be that we are responsbile to make sure that our kids don't
suffer or have negative emotions--life should be continually full.
But it isn't.
Julie~~who is screwing her courage to take the same leap of
faith with teens.
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To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
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Thanks again.
"Julie Bogart <julie@...>" <julie@...> wrote:Hi Wende.
You said:
Point taken. But mostly, unmotivated to choose her own things to
do. She
often comes to me with the "Mom, I'm bored" thing. I will give her
some
ideas, and she usually asks me to choose. I often wonder if I
have too
many things available to her, making it tough for her to make a
decision.
Does anyone else have this problem?
--
When I worked with La Leche League years ago (was a leader
for ten years), I used to notice a couple of extremes in the
application of total breastfeeding. One was that the mother
became so consumed with responding to every single need of
the baby, (fearful that the baby would be damaged if it ever cried
or fussed) that she became tired and resentful of the little baby
for doing what it does naturally--and that is, cries for attention
and milk. Usually this mom would neglect other children, the
home and spouse all to prevent a fussy baby. The second
extreme was that the mother felt that if she deviated from the
philosphy of "demand feeding" at all, that she was a bad mother.
This kind of mom often rebounded into a scheduled approach to
nursing with the next baby.
But does that mean that demand feeding isn't best for the baby?
No. But it also doesn't mean that if a baby sits in a swing or uses
a pacifer or is rocked to sleep by dad that the mother has
suddenly abandonned her original philosophy either. Common
sense.
I think moms forget that we are a part of the relationships we
nurture. We do have a responsiblity to express our own needs
and to see that they get met while still meeting those of our kids.
As adults, we are better at delaying the gratification of our needs
than our children are, so we should be more clever in how we
meet both their needs and in how we preserve our sanity.
Common courtesy and mutual respect are part of being in a
family.
When you say that your daughter comes to you bored, that is a
very real emotion. But it isn't your job to solve it, even though it
feels like it is. It's your job to support her during her boredom
with a hug and comments like: "Wow. I hate being bored. I bet
you do too."
Then get back to work on the thing that is engaging your
attention. Or invite her to help you out, if that's appropriate (in our
house, boredom can always be overcome with housekeeping if
someone wants to go on and on about it).
Boredom is a precursor to meaningful discovery and
engagement. But not if it is assuaged too quickly with a pacifier
("Here, draw this." or "Have you read this book?")
Seems to me that one of the misconceptions of unschooling
may be that we are responsbile to make sure that our kids don't
suffer or have negative emotions--life should be continually full.
But it isn't.
Julie~~who is screwing her courage to take the same leap of
faith with teens.
Yahoo! Groups SponsorADVERTISEMENT
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail Plus - Powerful. Affordable. Sign up now
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Fetteroll
on 1/6/03 3:22 PM, SandraDodd@... at SandraDodd@... wrote:
don't need clean houses. There are houses with dirt floors. How ridiculous
to even think of cleaning up every speck of dirt! There are houses with the
cooking area outside which keeps the food spills out where nature can take
care of them.
We've created that need for sparkling clean. (And the need for cleaning
tools and chemicals. And the need to have space to store them.) It's a
choice to have a clean house, not a necessity.
And who says a house is for looking nice? Why can't it be a workshop for our
interests? In some places in some times houses were for keeping out of the
elements and away from things that eat you. We've chosen to make them more.
People used them to store their stuff, like their farm animals. In some
times in some places people slept with their animals. The rest of the time
they lived outdoors.
It's freeing to realize that what we do is a choice. We can clean because we
want to, not because we have to.
Joyce
> I thought wanting a clean houseOne thing that helped me was realizing there are huge parts of the world
> was right and normal and justifiable and commendable, and the fact that I
> hadn't figured out how to do it meant I was some kind of slacker who had no
> skill to be that organized.
don't need clean houses. There are houses with dirt floors. How ridiculous
to even think of cleaning up every speck of dirt! There are houses with the
cooking area outside which keeps the food spills out where nature can take
care of them.
We've created that need for sparkling clean. (And the need for cleaning
tools and chemicals. And the need to have space to store them.) It's a
choice to have a clean house, not a necessity.
And who says a house is for looking nice? Why can't it be a workshop for our
interests? In some places in some times houses were for keeping out of the
elements and away from things that eat you. We've chosen to make them more.
People used them to store their stuff, like their farm animals. In some
times in some places people slept with their animals. The rest of the time
they lived outdoors.
It's freeing to realize that what we do is a choice. We can clean because we
want to, not because we have to.
Joyce
Suzanne Ackerson
Joyce,
About cleaning: I felt exactly the same way until I discovered that my second child was having recurring bronchitus due to pet and dust mite allergies. Lots of changes had to be made including more frequent vacuuming with a good allergy vac. I had always enjoyed the lifestyle of cleaning being a very low priority but cleaning and all the other environmental changes we made in the house really helped him.
Suzanne
About cleaning: I felt exactly the same way until I discovered that my second child was having recurring bronchitus due to pet and dust mite allergies. Lots of changes had to be made including more frequent vacuuming with a good allergy vac. I had always enjoyed the lifestyle of cleaning being a very low priority but cleaning and all the other environmental changes we made in the house really helped him.
Suzanne
----- Original Message -----
From: Fetteroll
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, January 08, 2003 4:22 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Bordeom/Was--Re: Intro and a confession
on 1/6/03 3:22 PM, SandraDodd@... at SandraDodd@... wrote:
> I thought wanting a clean house
> was right and normal and justifiable and commendable, and the fact that I
> hadn't figured out how to do it meant I was some kind of slacker who had no
> skill to be that organized.
One thing that helped me was realizing there are huge parts of the world
don't need clean houses. There are houses with dirt floors. How ridiculous
to even think of cleaning up every speck of dirt! There are houses with the
cooking area outside which keeps the food spills out where nature can take
care of them.
We've created that need for sparkling clean. (And the need for cleaning
tools and chemicals. And the need to have space to store them.) It's a
choice to have a clean house, not a necessity.
And who says a house is for looking nice? Why can't it be a workshop for our
interests? In some places in some times houses were for keeping out of the
elements and away from things that eat you. We've chosen to make them more.
People used them to store their stuff, like their farm animals. In some
times in some places people slept with their animals. The rest of the time
they lived outdoors.
It's freeing to realize that what we do is a choice. We can clean because we
want to, not because we have to.
Joyce
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Fetteroll
on 1/8/03 8:32 AM, Suzanne Ackerson at sylvanv@... wrote:
to clean. I wasn't advocating being a slob. (Though I might be a poster
child ;-) I was pointing out that it isn't something that automatically goes
along with being alive. It's a choice we make. :-)
Joyce
> About cleaning: I felt exactly the same way until I discovered that my secondBut it's still the same. *You* have a reason that's particular to your needs
> child was having recurring bronchitus due to pet and dust mite allergies.
> Lots of changes had to be made including more frequent vacuuming with a good
> allergy vac.
to clean. I wasn't advocating being a slob. (Though I might be a poster
child ;-) I was pointing out that it isn't something that automatically goes
along with being alive. It's a choice we make. :-)
Joyce
Suzanne Ackerson
Joyce,
I agree 100% and wish I would have conveyed that more clearly in my email.
Suzanne
I agree 100% and wish I would have conveyed that more clearly in my email.
Suzanne
----- Original Message -----
From: Fetteroll
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, January 08, 2003 8:57 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Bordeom/Was--Re: Intro and a confession
on 1/8/03 8:32 AM, Suzanne Ackerson at sylvanv@... wrote:
> About cleaning: I felt exactly the same way until I discovered that my second
> child was having recurring bronchitus due to pet and dust mite allergies.
> Lots of changes had to be made including more frequent vacuuming with a good
> allergy vac.
But it's still the same. *You* have a reason that's particular to your needs
to clean. I wasn't advocating being a slob. (Though I might be a poster
child ;-) I was pointing out that it isn't something that automatically goes
along with being alive. It's a choice we make. :-)
Joyce
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
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Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/8/03 5:22:04 AM Eastern Standard Time,
fetteroll@... writes:
Teresa
The UNhousekeeper :-)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
fetteroll@... writes:
> And who says a house is for looking nice? Why can't it be a workshop for ourOH MAN, I love this post..!!
> interests? In some places in some times houses were for keeping out of the
> elements and away from things that eat you. We've chosen to make them more.
>
> People used them to store their stuff, like their farm animals. In some
> times in some places people slept with their animals. The rest of the time
> they lived outdoors.
>
> It's freeing to realize that what we do is a choice. We can clean because
> we
> want to, not because we have to.
>
> Joyce
>
>
Teresa
The UNhousekeeper :-)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/8/2003 7:46:44 AM Central Standard Time,
sylvanv@... writes:
We had the same problem here. It's been a year and I'm still working on not
hating it. Once I get over that I'll work on doing it because I want to. I
try to remember how much I love seeing my kids not sniffling. But for two
days now I've done nothing. Yikes.
Just the change in vacuuming (and vacuum) and eliminating mainstream chemical
cleaners gave me my sense of smell back!
Elizabeth
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
sylvanv@... writes:
> About cleaning: I felt exactly the same way until I discovered that mySuzanne:
> second child was having recurring bronchitus due to pet and dust mite
> allergies.
We had the same problem here. It's been a year and I'm still working on not
hating it. Once I get over that I'll work on doing it because I want to. I
try to remember how much I love seeing my kids not sniffling. But for two
days now I've done nothing. Yikes.
Just the change in vacuuming (and vacuum) and eliminating mainstream chemical
cleaners gave me my sense of smell back!
Elizabeth
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]