Alan & Brenda Leonard

1/5/03 20:25:

> I don't *get it*. After reading these various books I thought I
> *got it*. But reading this list has me convinced that I don't. I
> understood "unschooling" to be child-led, not child-controlled. I thought
> that unschooling was a way to do away with the mainstream's way of
> pigeonholing children into a particular set of standards and learning
> methods, only to find out that there are the militant unschoolers that
> say there is only one way of unschooling. I thought unschooling involved
> giving your children all the resources they need to accomplish what they
> want, whether it be textbooks, videos, pots and pans, whatever. I guess
> my question is, can bits and pieces of mainstream educational methods be
> used, if at the leading of the child or the suggestion of the parent, and
> this still come under the definition of unschooling?

Wende,

First, welcome to the list. I hope that you'll hang out for awhile; every
list has its off-days and this one's been tense lately, but there's still
good stuff here. Lots of it. Just delete, or scan fast on digest mode.

Here's my opinion on unschooling your girls right now: you don't have to get
it. You already have the patience to be a good unschooler -- you've
confessed to a "sporadic lifestyle". I love that description! You've
probably been unschooling your children anyway -- letting them play,
explore, create, invent, and all that. Taking trips, going on picnics (even
if they're only in the living room because it's too cold outside!), visiting
the library, reading books, watching videos, and enjoying each other.

I think that everyone here agrees that each of our unschooling lives looks
different. Even within families, different children are unschooling
differently. Perhaps what comes across as only one way to unschool is the
point that the only way to unschool is by letting your children have the
control over their education ALL the time. They're saying that you can't
unschool *except* for math, or just during vacations; you can't unschool
after the lessons are done, or on even-numbered days or whatever.

But here's what originally came across as radical to me, but later fell into
place. After you've been giving your children control over their education,
which is really control over how they spend their time, perhaps you'll start
looking at the other places you exert control in their lives. I grew from
wanting to unschool with a math curriculum (not really possible to do, but I
was trying!) to letting go of the whole curriculum idea, to letting go of
restrictions on tv/video time, restrictions on foods, etc. But it takes
TIME to get there for a lot of us. (And you may strongly defend some
cherished ideas on the way. I'm still slightly chargrinned over some of my
posts 8 or 9 months ago before I let go of more control areas!)

Do I use textbooks, workbooks, chalkboards, and the other acoutrements of
school in my unschooling? Yep. I myself got a lot out of a very nice math
education textbook last year. Very interesting. My son has a couple of
workbooks he used last month a few times, I think. And boy, we love
chalkboards. Great for coloring on when the sidewalks are all wet. My
point is that anything is fair game, it's just about being willing to see it
used in any way. And not requiring anyone to use it in one particular way
or at any particular time.

Does that help? I really think "getting it" has the most to do with "living
it" than "thinking it".

brenda

[email protected]

Brenda,
That was a great post! Thank you!

*~*Elissa Jill*~*
unschooling Momma to 3 beautiful brilliant people
Loving partner for life to Joey
terrible guitarist, fair singer and happy woman.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

Wow! Thanks everyone for your input. As as I said in my intro, we live a
sporadic lifestyle, which sometimes includes not getting a chance to
retrieve mail until 3:00am.
There is a lot here to read and digest. I'm sure I'll have more questions
in the near future.

Thanks Again,
Wende

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[email protected]

In a message dated 1/7/03 8:37:00 AM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< But I have to admit, I do
cringe when my 3yo takes a brand new workbook and colors pictures all
over it. I literally have to turn my back, but I don't stop her. But I
can't stop from feeling it's a waste, and not "proper use". Is there any
hope for me??? >>

HOPE?? HOPE??
Oh my gosh YES!! I think you are ultra fabulous for being able to have those
feelings and turn your back to let her use it in her own way.
Good job.

Ren
"The world's much smaller than you think. Made up of two kinds of
people--simple and complicated.....The simple ones are contented. The
complicated ones aren't."
"Unschooling support at pensacolaunschoolers.com

[email protected]

On Tue, 7 Jan 2003 11:11:32 EST starsuncloud@... writes:
> HOPE?? HOPE??
> Oh my gosh YES!! I think you are ultra fabulous for being able to
> have those
> feelings and turn your back to let her use it in her own way.
> Good job.

Thanks for the encouragement, Ren.

Wende

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