Deborah Lewis

When Dylan was very small we didn't care if he said please and thank you.
I don't think it bothered anyone who knew him, he wasn't bossy about
asking for things. Sometimes acquaintances though, would do that thing
I hate, "what's the magic word?", but of course, he didn't know what they
were wanting from him. I must have grumbled more than once about it to
my brother, who simply and quietly told Dylan people just wanted to hear
"thank you" but a more creative answer would be funny. So for a while,
when Dylan was two and three, when someone would ask "what's the magic
word?" he would reply "Abracadabra!"<g>
Maybe it wasn't very respectful but at the time it was satisfying. (for
me, anyway)

He is a please and thank you and excuse me kid now.

I think you can do the things your kids want AND remind them people will
feel happier about doing nice things for them if they ask in a nice way.
(but you have to say it nicely<g>)

Dylan used to have a friend who got swatted a lot. It was disturbing to
a kid who wasn't used to seeing people hit. Bradey would hit, or try to
hit when he was mad, too, so I would tell him we weren't a hitting
family, we were a lovey family and he couldn't hit when he was with us.
It worked, maybe because he realized no one would be swatting him at our
house.

Maybe you could remind your kids you are a polite family when they demand
something. "We're not the bossy family, we're the polite family" said
with some humor and sweetness?

Deb L