Yol, Vishnu & Shanti

Okay Deb,

This kind of statement is plainly aggressive and judgmental, but of course later on you're going to say that you didn't mean anything by it... In my dictionary, that's simply not taking responsibility.

You can be all defensive you want, the fact is that if you guys don't want to see what's going on in this list most of the time (only a few here KNOW *what unschooling is all about* and the rest of us mortals have no clue and can be ignored or ripped apart - and of course there's the ones that don't say anything), it means you are not objective at all or are simply opting for an easy denial mechanism.

That's your choice, but there's no need to give us your cheap psychoanalysis here. And I'd suggest you "bet your life" on things you really know for sure, instead of other people's personalities and "hidden" motivations.

Yol

> This is what I think. I think it's possible posters who are quick to
> feel injured and claim they have been attacked are probably suffering
> from low self esteem. I have noticed a connection between those who are
> afraid their children will take advantage of them or make them
> subservient and those who yell they've been hurt when ever someone
> disagrees with them.
>
> I'd bet my life (or not) that many who feel attacked here, feel attacked
> frequently other times and places as well and by all kinds of people, and
> have a long list of injuries in their lifetime.
>

Deborah Lewis

***This kind of statement is plainly aggressive and judgmental, but of
course later on you're going to say that you didn't mean anything by
it... In my dictionary, that's simply not taking responsibility.***

What I meant by that statement is : I think it's possible posters who are
quick to
feel injured and claim they have been attacked are probably suffering
from low self esteem. I tried to be as clear as possible. I tried to
say what I meant.

I think it's possible very sensitive people may not have the same ability
to cope with dissenting opinion.

***You can be all defensive you want, the fact is that if you guys don't
want to see what's going on in this list most of the time (only a few
here KNOW *what unschooling is all about* and the rest of us mortals have
no clue and can be ignored or ripped apart - and of course there's the
ones that don't say anything), it means you are not objective at all or
are simply opting for an easy denial mechanism.***

There are more than a few people here who know what unschooling is all
about, and they're here to help others find out. No one wants to hurt
anyone here.

If someone really disagrees on a point concerning unschooling, how
should they respond?

If I hear someone say they know their child is a natural learner and will
learn to read in their own time, but they must be told what to eat and
watch on TV, why wouldn't it be ok to point out that natural learners can
learn to listen to their own bodies needs, and make responsible decisions
as well?

Deb L


>Okay Deb,

>This kind of statement is plainly aggressive and judgmental, but of
course later on you're going to say that >you didn't mean anything by
it... In my dictionary, that's simply not taking responsibility.

>You can be all defensive you want, the fact is that if you guys don't
want to see what's going on in this list >most of the time (only a few
here KNOW *what unschooling is all about* and the rest of us mortals have
>no clue and can be ignored or ripped apart - and of course there's the
ones that don't say anything), it >means you are not objective at all or
are simply opting for an easy denial mechanism.

>That's your choice, but there's no need to give us your cheap
psychoanalysis here. And I'd suggest you "bet >your life" on things you
really know for sure, instead of other people's personalities and
"hidden" >motivations.

>Yol

Betsy

**If someone really disagrees on a point concerning unschooling, how
should they respond? **

Well, from my point of view, it was nice that when Sandra wanted to
respond to the idea behind my "short order cook" comments, she took the
time to say something like -- "now this isn't aimed at Betsy, but...."

However, it may not be easy to remember to say this every time, and it
does clutter up the post a bit.

Betsy

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/13/02 7:52:50 AM, bluelotus@... writes:

<< > This is what I think. I think it's possible posters who are quick to
> feel injured and claim they have been attacked are probably suffering
> from low self esteem. I have noticed a connection between those who are
> afraid their children will take advantage of them or make them
> subservient and those who yell they've been hurt when ever someone
> disagrees with them.
>
> I'd bet my life (or not) that many who feel attacked here, feel attacked
> frequently other times and places as well and by all kinds of people, and
> have a long list of injuries in their lifetime. >>

Deb wrote that and Yol wrote:

-=-This kind of statement is plainly aggressive and judgmental, but of course
later on you're going to say that you didn't mean anything by it... In my
dictionary, that's simply not taking responsibility-=-

Yol, some of us have been involved in these kinds of discussions for a long
time. This list is relatively new. The discussions about unschooling
aren't. Three or four times a year someone will show up and be a bundle of
defensive anger. Deb's seen it often. If you haven't seen it much, please
withhold judgment on Deb's voluntary, free (you said "cheap) summary theories.

If you will save your post and re-read it in a couple of years, I think
you'll see that Deb had a legitimate point.

There is another pattern. Those who are often so disruptive and defensive
sometimes aren't committed to unschooling and end up going to eclectic or
unit studies or something.

Sandra