FW: Birthday party invites...
Stephanie Elms
No, sorry, you all are not invited ;o) but I was hoping that you might give me
some input on how to handle this situation.
We are planning Jason's sixth birthday party in a couple of weeks. When making up
the guest list, I asked if he wanted to invite Samantha (they have known each
other literally since they were born. Her mom is a friend of mine from college).
They play wonderfully together, although they have not gotten together as often
lately because they moved a little further away, plus she is in school full time
now. Jason said that he did not want her there. I was surprised and asked why.
He said because she was a girl. I was a little surprised and said "so you
don't want any girls at the party?". He said, well, no it is not that, she just
isn't my friend any more. I asked why and he said just because. I then asked what
about Winnie (one of his friends from our AP playgroup we have known since the kids
were around 1 yo). He said that he did not want her to come either. That he did not
want any of his "old" friends.
My guess is that he does not want girls at the party because he had no problem including
2 other boys that he sees only occasionally who are kids of 2 of my college friends. He
was invited to their birthday parties, so maybe that makes a difference. Samantha's
party is in Jan and I know that Jason will be invited (Samantha tends to have a lot
of boy friends and talks about Jason quite a bit).
Any suggestions on handling this? Do I let him decide who he wants to have at his birthday
party and talk with the other moms about it? Or do I make him do the "right" thing and invite
the girls. I don't think that it would be the end of the world for them to be there, since
he really does get along fine with them. I have talked with him about how it might make
Samantha and Winnie feel to be left out. At this point I have asked him to think about it.
I can see arguments for both ways of handling this. What do you all think? I had hoped that
we would have it easier this year since he is not in preschool and would not have the debates
about which kids from his class to invite LOL! Ah well....
Stephanie E.
some input on how to handle this situation.
We are planning Jason's sixth birthday party in a couple of weeks. When making up
the guest list, I asked if he wanted to invite Samantha (they have known each
other literally since they were born. Her mom is a friend of mine from college).
They play wonderfully together, although they have not gotten together as often
lately because they moved a little further away, plus she is in school full time
now. Jason said that he did not want her there. I was surprised and asked why.
He said because she was a girl. I was a little surprised and said "so you
don't want any girls at the party?". He said, well, no it is not that, she just
isn't my friend any more. I asked why and he said just because. I then asked what
about Winnie (one of his friends from our AP playgroup we have known since the kids
were around 1 yo). He said that he did not want her to come either. That he did not
want any of his "old" friends.
My guess is that he does not want girls at the party because he had no problem including
2 other boys that he sees only occasionally who are kids of 2 of my college friends. He
was invited to their birthday parties, so maybe that makes a difference. Samantha's
party is in Jan and I know that Jason will be invited (Samantha tends to have a lot
of boy friends and talks about Jason quite a bit).
Any suggestions on handling this? Do I let him decide who he wants to have at his birthday
party and talk with the other moms about it? Or do I make him do the "right" thing and invite
the girls. I don't think that it would be the end of the world for them to be there, since
he really does get along fine with them. I have talked with him about how it might make
Samantha and Winnie feel to be left out. At this point I have asked him to think about it.
I can see arguments for both ways of handling this. What do you all think? I had hoped that
we would have it easier this year since he is not in preschool and would not have the debates
about which kids from his class to invite LOL! Ah well....
Stephanie E.
Denese Kolb
I have a seven year old who is going through an "I don't like girls" thing. I would never make him have girls at his birthday party. JMHO.
Denese
Denese
----- Original Message -----
From: Stephanie Elms
To: Unschooling-dotcom (E-mail)
Sent: Tuesday, November 19, 2002 9:07 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] FW: Birthday party invites...
No, sorry, you all are not invited ;o) but I was hoping that you might give me
some input on how to handle this situation.
We are planning Jason's sixth birthday party in a couple of weeks. When making up
the guest list, I asked if he wanted to invite Samantha (they have known each
other literally since they were born. Her mom is a friend of mine from college).
They play wonderfully together, although they have not gotten together as often
lately because they moved a little further away, plus she is in school full time
now. Jason said that he did not want her there. I was surprised and asked why.
He said because she was a girl. I was a little surprised and said "so you
don't want any girls at the party?". He said, well, no it is not that, she just
isn't my friend any more. I asked why and he said just because. I then asked what
about Winnie (one of his friends from our AP playgroup we have known since the kids
were around 1 yo). He said that he did not want her to come either. That he did not
want any of his "old" friends.
My guess is that he does not want girls at the party because he had no problem including
2 other boys that he sees only occasionally who are kids of 2 of my college friends. He
was invited to their birthday parties, so maybe that makes a difference. Samantha's
party is in Jan and I know that Jason will be invited (Samantha tends to have a lot
of boy friends and talks about Jason quite a bit).
Any suggestions on handling this? Do I let him decide who he wants to have at his birthday
party and talk with the other moms about it? Or do I make him do the "right" thing and invite
the girls. I don't think that it would be the end of the world for them to be there, since
he really does get along fine with them. I have talked with him about how it might make
Samantha and Winnie feel to be left out. At this point I have asked him to think about it.
I can see arguments for both ways of handling this. What do you all think? I had hoped that
we would have it easier this year since he is not in preschool and would not have the debates
about which kids from his class to invite LOL! Ah well....
Stephanie E.
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In a message dated 11/19/2002 6:43:12 AM Pacific Standard Time,
DCOLB@... writes:
"doing the right thing" is more about moral issues. Its sad if kids feelings
get hurt but from the situation that might not be the case. And if it is the
case what a great opportunity for her mom to tell her that 'its not about
her' but about how your Son is feeling.
Renee
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
DCOLB@... writes:
> I have a seven year old who is going through an "I don't like girls" thing.I would never make mine invite someone to a birthday party either. I think
> I would never make him have girls at his birthday party. JMHO.
> Denese
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Stephanie Elms
> To: Unschooling-dotcom (E-mail)
> Sent: Tuesday, November 19, 2002 9:07 AM
> Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] FW: Birthday party invites...
>
>
> No, sorry, you all are not invited ;o) but I was hoping that you might
> give me
> some input on how to handle this situation.
>
> We are planning Jason's sixth birthday party in a couple of weeks. When
> making up
> the guest list, I asked if he wanted to invite Samantha (they have known
> each
> other literally since they were born. Her mom is a friend of mine from
> college).
> They play wonderfully together, although they have not gotten together as
> often
> lately because they moved a little further away, plus she is in school
> full time
> now. Jason said that he did not want her there. I was surprised and asked
> why.
> He said because she was a girl. I was a little surprised and said "so you
> don't want any girls at the party?". He said, well, no it is not that,
> she just
> isn't my friend any more. I asked why and he said just because. I then
> asked what
> about Winnie (one of his friends from our AP playgroup we have known
> since the kids
> were around 1 yo). He said that he did not want her to come either. That
> he did not
> want any of his "old" friends.
>
> My guess is that he does not want girls at the party because he had no
> problem including
> 2 other boys that he sees only occasionally who are kids of 2 of my
> college friends. He
> was invited to their birthday parties, so maybe that makes a difference.
> Samantha's
> party is in Jan and I know that Jason will be invited (Samantha tends to
> have a lot
> of boy friends and talks about Jason quite a bit).
>
>
"doing the right thing" is more about moral issues. Its sad if kids feelings
get hurt but from the situation that might not be the case. And if it is the
case what a great opportunity for her mom to tell her that 'its not about
her' but about how your Son is feeling.
Renee
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelli Traaseth
Stephanie,
I have to agree too, we've had similar issues in our kids circles of friends. But the friends of mine that understand are really turning out to be my best friends and the ones that think we are 'snubbying them' are turning out to be anything but 'friends'. It works out for the best.
I let my kids invite who 'they' want, usually it surprises me who they pick, it ends up being all ages too. I am starting to have to limit the numbers tho' my 5 yr old's party ended up being huge because she wanted families over, like 10 families, OH BOY, was that alot of work, so I can't do that again.
Although if it were a bunch of my unschooling buddies from online I'd probably do it again!
Hey, there's that northern conference idea coming into my brain again, that's another thread.
Kelli, the rambler.
Petra1128b@... wrote:In a message dated 11/19/2002 6:43:12 AM Pacific Standard Time,
DCOLB@... writes:
"doing the right thing" is more about moral issues. Its sad if kids feelings
get hurt but from the situation that might not be the case. And if it is the
case what a great opportunity for her mom to tell her that 'its not about
her' but about how your Son is feeling.
Renee
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I have to agree too, we've had similar issues in our kids circles of friends. But the friends of mine that understand are really turning out to be my best friends and the ones that think we are 'snubbying them' are turning out to be anything but 'friends'. It works out for the best.
I let my kids invite who 'they' want, usually it surprises me who they pick, it ends up being all ages too. I am starting to have to limit the numbers tho' my 5 yr old's party ended up being huge because she wanted families over, like 10 families, OH BOY, was that alot of work, so I can't do that again.
Although if it were a bunch of my unschooling buddies from online I'd probably do it again!
Hey, there's that northern conference idea coming into my brain again, that's another thread.
Kelli, the rambler.
Petra1128b@... wrote:In a message dated 11/19/2002 6:43:12 AM Pacific Standard Time,
DCOLB@... writes:
> I have a seven year old who is going through an "I don't like girls" thing.I would never make mine invite someone to a birthday party either. I think
> I would never make him have girls at his birthday party. JMHO.
> Denese
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Stephanie Elms
> To: Unschooling-dotcom (E-mail)
> Sent: Tuesday, November 19, 2002 9:07 AM
> Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] FW: Birthday party invites...
>
>
> No, sorry, you all are not invited ;o) but I was hoping that you might
> give me
> some input on how to handle this situation.
>
> We are planning Jason's sixth birthday party in a couple of weeks. When
> making up
> the guest list, I asked if he wanted to invite Samantha (they have known
> each
> other literally since they were born. Her mom is a friend of mine from
> college).
> They play wonderfully together, although they have not gotten together as
> often
> lately because they moved a little further away, plus she is in school
> full time
> now. Jason said that he did not want her there. I was surprised and asked
> why.
> He said because she was a girl. I was a little surprised and said "so you
> don't want any girls at the party?". He said, well, no it is not that,
> she just
> isn't my friend any more. I asked why and he said just because. I then
> asked what
> about Winnie (one of his friends from our AP playgroup we have known
> since the kids
> were around 1 yo). He said that he did not want her to come either. That
> he did not
> want any of his "old" friends.
>
> My guess is that he does not want girls at the party because he had no
> problem including
> 2 other boys that he sees only occasionally who are kids of 2 of my
> college friends. He
> was invited to their birthday parties, so maybe that makes a difference.
> Samantha's
> party is in Jan and I know that Jason will be invited (Samantha tends to
> have a lot
> of boy friends and talks about Jason quite a bit).
>
>
"doing the right thing" is more about moral issues. Its sad if kids feelings
get hurt but from the situation that might not be the case. And if it is the
case what a great opportunity for her mom to tell her that 'its not about
her' but about how your Son is feeling.
Renee
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/19/02 7:08:07 AM, stephanie.elms@...
writes:
<< Any suggestions on handling this? >>
Do more "birthday stuff" with the other family--take them out to eat or
something, and talk about how big the kids are?
Today, any moment, another family is coming to get Holly and Marty to take
them ice skating. They were all three invited to Holly's party, but only the
sister of them as able to attend because the others had sports. There were
leftover skating tickets, so today's outing is an extension of Holly's
skating party. Part 2! Marty's going because he's our pro-est skater of
all (played hockey when he was younger, took all the basic classes up to ice
dance before he quit), and he's the "life guard" and coach of the new skaters.
Sandra
writes:
<< Any suggestions on handling this? >>
Do more "birthday stuff" with the other family--take them out to eat or
something, and talk about how big the kids are?
Today, any moment, another family is coming to get Holly and Marty to take
them ice skating. They were all three invited to Holly's party, but only the
sister of them as able to attend because the others had sports. There were
leftover skating tickets, so today's outing is an extension of Holly's
skating party. Part 2! Marty's going because he's our pro-est skater of
all (played hockey when he was younger, took all the basic classes up to ice
dance before he quit), and he's the "life guard" and coach of the new skaters.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/19/02 8:36:13 AM, Petra1128b@... writes:
<< I would never make mine invite someone to a birthday party either. I think
"doing the right thing" is more about moral issues. Its sad if kids feelings
get hurt but from the situation that might not be the case. And if it is the
case what a great opportunity for her mom to tell her that 'its not about
her' but about how your Son is feeling. >>
When my kids were younger I was more likely to pressure them to invite kids I
was worried about. The older they've gotten, the less they're concerned with
exactly who's invited to any one event or activity, because there will be
others.
And luckily their other friends seem the same way. Some years Holly's
invited to one kid's party or another, but not every year to any of them.
So just letting a few years pass peacefully will help, I think.
Sandra
<< I would never make mine invite someone to a birthday party either. I think
"doing the right thing" is more about moral issues. Its sad if kids feelings
get hurt but from the situation that might not be the case. And if it is the
case what a great opportunity for her mom to tell her that 'its not about
her' but about how your Son is feeling. >>
When my kids were younger I was more likely to pressure them to invite kids I
was worried about. The older they've gotten, the less they're concerned with
exactly who's invited to any one event or activity, because there will be
others.
And luckily their other friends seem the same way. Some years Holly's
invited to one kid's party or another, but not every year to any of them.
So just letting a few years pass peacefully will help, I think.
Sandra
Tia Leschke
> I let my kids invite who 'they' want, usually it surprises me who theypick, it ends up being all ages too. I am starting to have to limit the
numbers tho' my 5 yr old's party ended up being huge because she wanted
families over, like 10 families, OH BOY, was that alot of work, so I
can't do that again.
My granddaughter had a list of 27 kids she wanted to invite! She also has
the unfortunate tendency to forget that there's a limit and invite kids when
she sees them. It's a real juggling act to keep her parties manageable.
Tia
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/19/02 1:14:07 PM, leschke@... writes:
<< My granddaughter had a list of 27 kids she wanted to invite! She also has
the unfortunate tendency to forget that there's a limit and invite kids when
she sees them. It's a real juggling act to keep her parties manageable. >>
A couple of our parties have been in public parks, and then limit's not so
crucial. We just do cook-out food and the kids run around.
<< My granddaughter had a list of 27 kids she wanted to invite! She also has
the unfortunate tendency to forget that there's a limit and invite kids when
she sees them. It's a real juggling act to keep her parties manageable. >>
A couple of our parties have been in public parks, and then limit's not so
crucial. We just do cook-out food and the kids run around.
Tia Leschke
>has
> << My granddaughter had a list of 27 kids she wanted to invite! She also
> the unfortunate tendency to forget that there's a limit and invite kidswhen
> she sees them. It's a real juggling act to keep her parties manageable.Great idea, but . . . think December 21 in a place rain is far more likely
>>
>
> A couple of our parties have been in public parks, and then limit's not so
> crucial. We just do cook-out food and the kids run around.
than anything else at that time of year. <g>
I think she's agreed to cut the list back and go to Playzone.
Tia
Stephanie Elms
>>I would never make mine invite someone to a birthday party either. I thinkI think that for me the moral issue is being kind and not hurting a friend's feelings.
>>"doing the right thing" is more about moral issues. Its sad if kids feelings
>>get hurt but from the situation that might not be the case. And if it is the
>>case what a great opportunity for her mom to tell her that 'its not about
>>her' but about how your Son is feeling.
If he did not get along with Samantha, I most definitely would not even think about
suggesting that he invite her. But they do get along and they do have fun when they
get together. There are two boys that he sees even less then Samantha and does not
really know (their parents and I are college friends and they see each other at
birthday parties and occasional get togethers) that he had no problem inviting (here
again the only reason that I suggested that he invite them was because he had been invited
to their parties a couple of months ago). And what part should rudeness play in making
the decision of who to invite? Should you invite someone who you do not really know but
invited you to their party? If he does not invite Samantha, should he go to Samantha's
party?
Samantha and he are friends. He enjoys playing with her when they get together. She most
likely will invite him to her party (in Jan). That is why I have the indecision. I am leaning
towards getting the two of them together, but even that seems a little weird...I like
you but not enough to invite you to my birthday party?
I probably will talk this over with Samantha's mom (we are close enough friends) but I
want to have things a little more firm in my head before I do. Geesh. I thought that
I was done with these should we invite/shouldn't we invite situations since we were not
in school!
I think that I will plan on mentioning to my friends (the moms of the two boys who
are invited) to not feel like they need to invite Jason to their party the next year.
Really the only reason that Jason is invited is because we parents are friends. That
at least will simplify that aspect. We'll have to see how things go with Samantha this
year and if they stay friends I guess.
Thanks for helping me work some of this out in my head, even though I am still not completely
sure which way to go...
Stephanie E.
[email protected]
My son, who's best friend is his sister, wants a boy party. My dd, who has
several boys that are friends, has had girl parties these past two years. She
gets along great with these boys, they have lots of fun and have been friends
for years (longer than her gf's). I think its might just be a gender
identification
thing. My son really enjoys his boy scouts, its just him and the other boys.
He doesn't want the rest of us there (including mom, his dad usually takes
him). My son did say the last two times he had a sleepover with his best
buddy that it wasn't as fun when his sister wasn't there (she is the leader/
story creator etc.) I think its natural to want to spend time with those of
the
same sex. As much as I adore my husband, I love my coffee night with the
girls!
Just some of my thoughts on the subject.
Kathy
several boys that are friends, has had girl parties these past two years. She
gets along great with these boys, they have lots of fun and have been friends
for years (longer than her gf's). I think its might just be a gender
identification
thing. My son really enjoys his boy scouts, its just him and the other boys.
He doesn't want the rest of us there (including mom, his dad usually takes
him). My son did say the last two times he had a sleepover with his best
buddy that it wasn't as fun when his sister wasn't there (she is the leader/
story creator etc.) I think its natural to want to spend time with those of
the
same sex. As much as I adore my husband, I love my coffee night with the
girls!
Just some of my thoughts on the subject.
Kathy
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/19/2002 10:32:52 PM Eastern Standard Time,
stephanie.elms@... writes:
family---a special little party just for y'all?
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
stephanie.elms@... writes:
> I probably will talk this over with Samantha's mom (we are close enoughHow about two parties--the one with no girls and one with Samantha and her
> friends) but I
> want to have things a little more firm in my head before I do. Geesh. I
> thought that
> I was done with these should we invite/shouldn't we invite situations since
> we were not
> in school!
family---a special little party just for y'all?
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/19/02 10:32:53 PM Eastern Standard Time,
stephanie.elms@... writes:
the guys"
and it is HIS party.
Elissa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
stephanie.elms@... writes:
> I likeI think it may be more like, "I like you but I'd just like to hang out with
> you but not enough to invite you to my birthday party?
>
>
the guys"
and it is HIS party.
Elissa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/19/02 8:32:47 PM, stephanie.elms@...
writes:
<< That is why I have the indecision. I am leaning
towards getting the two of them together, but even that seems a little
weird...I like
you but not enough to invite you to my birthday party? >>
It's possible she'll want to have an all-girls' party one of these years and
it won't be personal.
If you make him invite people he doesn't want to, it's not his party anymore,
it's yours.
Doing more than one thing for a birthday isn't crazy. Adults do it lots.
Why shouldn't kids?
<<We'll have to see how things go with Samantha this
year and if they stay friends I guess.>>
My kid have friends they've had since they were babies. Some years there's
no contact at all, other years lots. The best friends are those you can pick
up with where you left off whether after a month or three years.
Sandra
writes:
<< That is why I have the indecision. I am leaning
towards getting the two of them together, but even that seems a little
weird...I like
you but not enough to invite you to my birthday party? >>
It's possible she'll want to have an all-girls' party one of these years and
it won't be personal.
If you make him invite people he doesn't want to, it's not his party anymore,
it's yours.
Doing more than one thing for a birthday isn't crazy. Adults do it lots.
Why shouldn't kids?
<<We'll have to see how things go with Samantha this
year and if they stay friends I guess.>>
My kid have friends they've had since they were babies. Some years there's
no contact at all, other years lots. The best friends are those you can pick
up with where you left off whether after a month or three years.
Sandra
Nora or Devereaux Cannon
I've been pretty busy lately, among other things planning a
Christmas cookie decorating party with out 6 y.o. for her
friends, but I have noticed the party discussion and thought it
was interesting. A party is a party - a gift of pleasure you
give your friends - an organic whole designed to delight and
divert a group. Maybe if you only have one party a year, you are
trying to make it into more than it is. We try to have at least
3 or 4; they are fun and the multiplicity removes some of the
birthday party/parties are shakedowns message.
Our 6 has a good friend who cannot have sugar - she will not be
invited to the cookie decorating party, because the whole thing
will be a sticky mess of frostings and sprinkles and gum drops.
She did come to the "state fair" party we had in August; though
there were lots of sugar containing things, there was also
popcorn and corn dogs and a big bowl of apples all of which the
friend loves and can have. We had a doll's tea party - bring
your doll, your long fake pearls, and your Mom for a tea party -
no boys at that one. Last year we had a Pumpkin party the
weekend before Halloween (lemme tell you, give a kid his own $3
pumpkin to paint, with some feathers and stuff - you are in
higher standing than Santa Claus). Boys and girls galore! When
Barbie Nutcracker came out, we had an all girl sleep over, with
glamour make-up and manicures. Gender equality is well and
good, but you don't feel obligated to give his female friends
pistols or his male friends tutus.
Your son will make some mistakes - no doubt you have a few
lovingly created Mother's day cards or similar mementos that with
an adult hand over hand doing it "with" him would have been more
professional - but they would not have expressed himself. Let
him learn the joy of generosity in entertaining without phantoms
of guilt or fear that there is a deep question - he'll become
afraid of making the wrong "moral" decision.
Christmas cookie decorating party with out 6 y.o. for her
friends, but I have noticed the party discussion and thought it
was interesting. A party is a party - a gift of pleasure you
give your friends - an organic whole designed to delight and
divert a group. Maybe if you only have one party a year, you are
trying to make it into more than it is. We try to have at least
3 or 4; they are fun and the multiplicity removes some of the
birthday party/parties are shakedowns message.
Our 6 has a good friend who cannot have sugar - she will not be
invited to the cookie decorating party, because the whole thing
will be a sticky mess of frostings and sprinkles and gum drops.
She did come to the "state fair" party we had in August; though
there were lots of sugar containing things, there was also
popcorn and corn dogs and a big bowl of apples all of which the
friend loves and can have. We had a doll's tea party - bring
your doll, your long fake pearls, and your Mom for a tea party -
no boys at that one. Last year we had a Pumpkin party the
weekend before Halloween (lemme tell you, give a kid his own $3
pumpkin to paint, with some feathers and stuff - you are in
higher standing than Santa Claus). Boys and girls galore! When
Barbie Nutcracker came out, we had an all girl sleep over, with
glamour make-up and manicures. Gender equality is well and
good, but you don't feel obligated to give his female friends
pistols or his male friends tutus.
Your son will make some mistakes - no doubt you have a few
lovingly created Mother's day cards or similar mementos that with
an adult hand over hand doing it "with" him would have been more
professional - but they would not have expressed himself. Let
him learn the joy of generosity in entertaining without phantoms
of guilt or fear that there is a deep question - he'll become
afraid of making the wrong "moral" decision.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Stephanie Elms" <stephanie.elms@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, November 19, 2002 9:31 PM
Subject: RE: [Unschooling-dotcom] FW: Birthday party invites...
| >>I would never make mine invite someone to a birthday party
either. I think
| >>"doing the right thing" is more about moral issues. Its sad
if kids feelings
| >>get hurt but from the situation that might not be the case.
And if it is the
| >>case what a great opportunity for her mom to tell her that
'its not about
| >>her' but about how your Son is feeling.
|
| I think that for me the moral issue is being kind and not
hurting a friend's feelings.
| If he did not get along with Samantha, I most definitely would
not even think about
| suggesting that he invite her. But they do get along and they
do have fun when they
| get together. There are two boys that he sees even less then
Samantha and does not
| really know (their parents and I are college friends and they
see each other at
| birthday parties and occasional get togethers) that he had no
problem inviting (here
| again the only reason that I suggested that he invite them was
because he had been invited
| to their parties a couple of months ago). And what part should
rudeness play in making
| the decision of who to invite? Should you invite someone who
you do not really know but
| invited you to their party? If he does not invite Samantha,
should he go to Samantha's
| party?
|
| Samantha and he are friends. He enjoys playing with her when
they get together. She most
| likely will invite him to her party (in Jan). That is why I
have the indecision. I am leaning
| towards getting the two of them together, but even that seems a
little weird...I like
| you but not enough to invite you to my birthday party?
|
| I probably will talk this over with Samantha's mom (we are
close enough friends) but I
| want to have things a little more firm in my head before I do.
Geesh. I thought that
| I was done with these should we invite/shouldn't we invite
situations since we were not
| in school!
|
| I think that I will plan on mentioning to my friends (the moms
of the two boys who
| are invited) to not feel like they need to invite Jason to
their party the next year.
| Really the only reason that Jason is invited is because we
parents are friends. That
| at least will simplify that aspect. We'll have to see how
things go with Samantha this
| year and if they stay friends I guess.
|
| Thanks for helping me work some of this out in my head, even
though I am still not completely
| sure which way to go...
|
| Stephanie E.
|
|
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Stephanie Elms
> I've been pretty busy lately, among other things planning aThank you for the great ideas...you are right, we pretty much only
> Christmas cookie decorating party with out 6 y.o. for her
> friends, but I have noticed the party discussion and thought it
> was interesting. A party is a party - a gift of pleasure you
> give your friends - an organic whole designed to delight and
> divert a group. Maybe if you only have one party a year, you are
> trying to make it into more than it is. We try to have at least
> 3 or 4; they are fun and the multiplicity removes some of the
> birthday party/parties are shakedowns message.
do one party a year. I really like the idea of having more parties
for different reasons. Doh! I have often complained about having the
perfect backyard for summer parties when I have 2 boys with winter
birthdays...thanks for hitting me over the head, I appreciate it!
Stephanie E.