Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Red heads - was Is It Normal?
[email protected]
I AGREE -- it is the red hair. My dd is only 2.5 and she has no problem
setting any one straight. She's a ball of fire!
We get stopped everywhere we go so people can comment on her hair.
Does any one else get that? And since dh, ds and myself are dark haired
they all ask here it came from. Now we just say it's the luck of the
Irish! (For those who just don't get the whole gene idea.)
Sharon
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
setting any one straight. She's a ball of fire!
We get stopped everywhere we go so people can comment on her hair.
Does any one else get that? And since dh, ds and myself are dark haired
they all ask here it came from. Now we just say it's the luck of the
Irish! (For those who just don't get the whole gene idea.)
Sharon
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
I don't think it's only red hair. My daughter has curly blonde hair, and
she also has no problem telling people how it is. We also get stopped
frequently so people can comment on her curls (that usually merits "the
look" from her).
Kevin
sharonashleigh@...
11/12/2002 02:26 PM
Please respond to Unschooling-dotcom
To: [email protected]
cc:
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Red heads - was Is It Normal?
I AGREE -- it is the red hair. My dd is only 2.5 and she has no problem
setting any one straight. She's a ball of fire!
We get stopped everywhere we go so people can comment on her hair.
Does any one else get that? And since dh, ds and myself are dark haired
they all ask here it came from. Now we just say it's the luck of the
Irish! (For those who just don't get the whole gene idea.)
Sharon
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
she also has no problem telling people how it is. We also get stopped
frequently so people can comment on her curls (that usually merits "the
look" from her).
Kevin
sharonashleigh@...
11/12/2002 02:26 PM
Please respond to Unschooling-dotcom
To: [email protected]
cc:
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Red heads - was Is It Normal?
I AGREE -- it is the red hair. My dd is only 2.5 and she has no problem
setting any one straight. She's a ball of fire!
We get stopped everywhere we go so people can comment on her hair.
Does any one else get that? And since dh, ds and myself are dark haired
they all ask here it came from. Now we just say it's the luck of the
Irish! (For those who just don't get the whole gene idea.)
Sharon
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Shyrley
On 12 Nov 02, at 14:33, kevin.tucker@... wrote:
caling him (and my other son - long blonde hair) a girl.
I'd like him to put people straight without the language. Personally I
don't care if he swears but since we moved the US we've left a
shocked trail behind us :-)
We've sat down and talked about diplomacy nd other ways of
saying things when in company. Then he loses it and out comes
his favourite senetnce 'f********* B********s'
Ho hum
Shyrley
"You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you are all the same."
> I don't think it's only red hair. My daughter has curly blonde hair,My son has long red hair. People on this side of the Atlantic keep
> and she also has no problem telling people how it is. We also get
> stopped frequently so people can comment on her curls (that usually
> merits "the look" from her).
>
> Kevin
>
caling him (and my other son - long blonde hair) a girl.
I'd like him to put people straight without the language. Personally I
don't care if he swears but since we moved the US we've left a
shocked trail behind us :-)
We've sat down and talked about diplomacy nd other ways of
saying things when in company. Then he loses it and out comes
his favourite senetnce 'f********* B********s'
Ho hum
Shyrley
"You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you are all the same."
Rachel Ann
Maybe you could practice a couple of responses before going out? Say to him something like: people who see young children with long hair, especially those who have poor eyesight, may conclude you are a girl. It isn't that you look girlish in any other way; but an elderly person, for instance, seeing your long hair, but unable to distinguish your features, may call you a girl, or refer to you as a girl, because your hair is the most significant feature.
Long hair held in a ponytail (and very little hair any where else) and fairly big ones on the chest, but my manner, I guess, often made me appear, to others, especially the elderly, like a boy. What can I do? I am me, and your son is himself. Let him know that what someone else sees him as is not who he is.
Presentation is important sometimes, but does anyone remember that story of the gorgeous cake that turned out to be a pasteboard display in a shop? If you are interested in it, I will try and find the name of the story and perhaps you could read it to him. Point being what I said above. He shouldn't feel upset or angered by the judgement of others....
That is more important, imho, than the string of foul words that come out, but a symptom of his feeling judged....
be well,
Rachel Ann
Long hair held in a ponytail (and very little hair any where else) and fairly big ones on the chest, but my manner, I guess, often made me appear, to others, especially the elderly, like a boy. What can I do? I am me, and your son is himself. Let him know that what someone else sees him as is not who he is.
Presentation is important sometimes, but does anyone remember that story of the gorgeous cake that turned out to be a pasteboard display in a shop? If you are interested in it, I will try and find the name of the story and perhaps you could read it to him. Point being what I said above. He shouldn't feel upset or angered by the judgement of others....
That is more important, imho, than the string of foul words that come out, but a symptom of his feeling judged....
be well,
Rachel Ann
----- Original Message -----
From: Shyrley
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, November 12, 2002 5:40 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Red heads - was Is It Normal?
On 12 Nov 02, at 14:33, kevin.tucker@... wrote:
> I don't think it's only red hair. My daughter has curly blonde hair,
> and she also has no problem telling people how it is. We also get
> stopped frequently so people can comment on her curls (that usually
> merits "the look" from her).
>
> Kevin
>
My son has long red hair. People on this side of the Atlantic keep
caling him (and my other son - long blonde hair) a girl.
I'd like him to put people straight without the language. Personally I
don't care if he swears but since we moved the US we've left a
shocked trail behind us :-)
We've sat down and talked about diplomacy nd other ways of
saying things when in company. Then he loses it and out comes
his favourite senetnce 'f********* B********s'
Ho hum
Shyrley
"You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you are all the same."
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Rachel Ann
My parents both have dark hair. As young children one of my sisters and my brother both had blonde hair (sister still does) Mom would answer *The milkman!* LOL...well, doncha know some people actually believed her?
Sheesh....
(and yeah, I'm that old. Back in the good ole' days when milk was placed in little boxes outside the house, and you'd place your wants in a little note inside one of the bottles
I really wish they'd bring that back!
be well,
Rachel Ann
Sheesh....
(and yeah, I'm that old. Back in the good ole' days when milk was placed in little boxes outside the house, and you'd place your wants in a little note inside one of the bottles
I really wish they'd bring that back!
be well,
Rachel Ann
----- Original Message -----
From: sharonashleigh@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, November 12, 2002 4:26 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Red heads - was Is It Normal?
I AGREE -- it is the red hair. My dd is only 2.5 and she has no problem
setting any one straight. She's a ball of fire!
We get stopped everywhere we go so people can comment on her hair.
Does any one else get that? And since dh, ds and myself are dark haired
they all ask here it came from. Now we just say it's the luck of the
Irish! (For those who just don't get the whole gene idea.)
Sharon
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Stephanie Elms
> (and yeah, I'm that old. Back in the good ole' days whenI do too! Does that mean that I am old too? I'm only 34 but up in central New York
> milk was placed in little boxes outside the house, and you'd
> place your wants in a little note inside one of the bottles
>
> I really wish they'd bring that back!
state they used to have the glass bottles, although I do remember the inside of the
milk box getting pretty gross from being outside.
Stephanie E.
>
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/13/02 4:26:56 PM, hindar@... writes:
<< (and yeah, I'm that old. Back in the good ole' days when milk was placed
in little boxes outside the house, and you'd place your wants in a little
note inside one of the bottles >>
When I was little the milkman came right in the house and put the milk in the
refrigerator!!
Wowie. In glass bottles with cardboard stoppers. Cool! And cottage cheese
in those copper-colored aluminum mugs, with a paper cap on.
My sister has dark hair and yellow eyes. Her husband was darker, a Trujillo
from northern New Mexico. One of their three kids has green eyes. Both of
them have blue eyed grandparents up the line, but all the grandparents of the
kids have brown eyes. My sister has one blue-eyed grandfather (behind that
we don't know eye color), and Gene had a blue eyed great grandmother. That
was enough.
My kids all have brown eyes, but Holly's blonde. It might not last to
adulthood. Marty started off tow-headed, but now keeps it shaved so we don't
know how it would grow out. Keith was blond but it's almost all white and
grey now.
Sandra
Sandra
<< (and yeah, I'm that old. Back in the good ole' days when milk was placed
in little boxes outside the house, and you'd place your wants in a little
note inside one of the bottles >>
When I was little the milkman came right in the house and put the milk in the
refrigerator!!
Wowie. In glass bottles with cardboard stoppers. Cool! And cottage cheese
in those copper-colored aluminum mugs, with a paper cap on.
My sister has dark hair and yellow eyes. Her husband was darker, a Trujillo
from northern New Mexico. One of their three kids has green eyes. Both of
them have blue eyed grandparents up the line, but all the grandparents of the
kids have brown eyes. My sister has one blue-eyed grandfather (behind that
we don't know eye color), and Gene had a blue eyed great grandmother. That
was enough.
My kids all have brown eyes, but Holly's blonde. It might not last to
adulthood. Marty started off tow-headed, but now keeps it shaved so we don't
know how it would grow out. Keith was blond but it's almost all white and
grey now.
Sandra
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/13/02 5:26:56 PM Central Standard Time,
hindar@... writes:
but worth it. Plus we get our eggs, cottage cheese and orange juice
delivered by them. It's the best.
Elizabeth
hindar@... writes:
> I really wish they'd bring that back!We have that! Glass bottles, hormone and antibiotic free milk. Not cheap,
>
>
but worth it. Plus we get our eggs, cottage cheese and orange juice
delivered by them. It's the best.
Elizabeth
Pam Sorooshian
>>My sister has dark hair and yellow eyes. Her husband was darker, a Trujillofrom northern New Mexico. One of their three kids has green eyes. Both of
them have blue eyed grandparents up the line, but all the grandparents of the
kids have brown eyes. My sister has one blue-eyed grandfather (behind that
we don't know eye color), and Gene had a blue eyed great grandmother. That
was enough.
<<
My husband, Iranian, swears there are no light-eyed people in his family
for the past 2,000 years. BUT - two out of three of our daughters have
blue/green eyes (one dark brown eyed). I guess there is something he
doesn't know about back there in his family tree!! <G>
My darkest-haired/dark eyed daughter looks very much like my dh's
mother/sister/niece. When people in grocery stores ask me "Where'd ya get
this one?" I say she looks EXACTLY like me -- on the inside!
--pam -- blondish/blue-eyed
Pam Sorooshian
National Home Education Network
www.NHEN.org
Changing the Way the World Sees Homeschooling
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/14/02 7:01:19 PM, pamsoroosh@... writes:
<< My husband, Iranian, swears there are no light-eyed people in his family
for the past 2,000 years. BUT - two out of three of our daughters have
blue/green eyes (one dark brown eyed). I guess there is something he
doesn't know about back there in his family tree!! <G>
enough to teach it in American public schools.
Which do we suspect first!??? <bwg>
Sandra
<< My husband, Iranian, swears there are no light-eyed people in his family
for the past 2,000 years. BUT - two out of three of our daughters have
blue/green eyes (one dark brown eyed). I guess there is something he
doesn't know about back there in his family tree!! <G>
>>Or there's something scientists didn't know when they watered down genetics
enough to teach it in American public schools.
Which do we suspect first!??? <bwg>
Sandra
Stephanie Elms
> My darkest-haired/dark eyed daughter looks very much like my dh'sI have a very good friend who has blond hair, blue eyes. She was married to a korean
> mother/sister/niece. When people in grocery stores ask me
> "Where'd ya get
> this one?" I say she looks EXACTLY like me -- on the inside!
and their daughter definitely has korean features and coloring. Most people seem to
think that she is the nanny. When she tells them that she is her mother, they then
assume her daughter was adopted. The funny thing is that once you get past the korean
features she actually looks a heck of a lot like my friend...same shaped face, same
sparkle in her eyes. Definitely the same mannerisms.
Stephanie E.
Betsy
I think I'd be tempted to say something possessive to these people.
Maybe "she has her grandmother's hair, but I think she has my smile."
I would want to make the point that this is unquestionably "my" child,
who is the product of the genes from both sides of the family.
Betsy
**I have a very good friend who has blond hair, blue eyes. She was
married to a korean
and their daughter definitely has korean features and coloring. Most
people seem to
think that she is the nanny. When she tells them that she is her mother,
they then
assume her daughter was adopted.**
Maybe "she has her grandmother's hair, but I think she has my smile."
I would want to make the point that this is unquestionably "my" child,
who is the product of the genes from both sides of the family.
Betsy
**I have a very good friend who has blond hair, blue eyes. She was
married to a korean
and their daughter definitely has korean features and coloring. Most
people seem to
think that she is the nanny. When she tells them that she is her mother,
they then
assume her daughter was adopted.**
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/15/02 12:41:27 AM Eastern Standard Time,
ecsamhill@... writes:
the idea that a biological connection is so important. Can anyone help me
understand?
Elissa, who is unquestionably her mother's daughter, although Not a product
of the genes from both sides of the family.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
ecsamhill@... writes:
> I would want to make the point that this is unquestionably "my" child,Out of curiosity, Why? Since I was adopted, I have a hard time understanding
> who is the product of the genes from both sides of the family.
>
> Betsy
>
>
the idea that a biological connection is so important. Can anyone help me
understand?
Elissa, who is unquestionably her mother's daughter, although Not a product
of the genes from both sides of the family.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Betsy
I don't think there's any way I can develop my feelings on this without
offending people who are adopted. I think the biological tie is a
strong one. If someone was planting doubts, based on appearance, that
my biological child wasn't my descendant, I would want to reassure the
child. I guess I believe that a biological child has an automatic sense
of belonging. The experience of learning that one is adopted seems to
be disturbing and disorienting at first. (However, this isn't something
I can talk knowledgeably about.)
My two cents,
Betsy
**In a message dated 11/15/02 12:41:27 AM Eastern Standard Time,
ecsamhill@... writes:
understanding
the idea that a biological connection is so important. Can anyone help
me
understand?
Elissa, who is unquestionably her mother's daughter, although Not a
product
of the genes from both sides of the family.**
offending people who are adopted. I think the biological tie is a
strong one. If someone was planting doubts, based on appearance, that
my biological child wasn't my descendant, I would want to reassure the
child. I guess I believe that a biological child has an automatic sense
of belonging. The experience of learning that one is adopted seems to
be disturbing and disorienting at first. (However, this isn't something
I can talk knowledgeably about.)
My two cents,
Betsy
**In a message dated 11/15/02 12:41:27 AM Eastern Standard Time,
ecsamhill@... writes:
> I would want to make the point that this is unquestionably "my" child,Out of curiosity, Why? Since I was adopted, I have a hard time
> who is the product of the genes from both sides of the family.
>
> Betsy
>
>
understanding
the idea that a biological connection is so important. Can anyone help
me
understand?
Elissa, who is unquestionably her mother's daughter, although Not a
product
of the genes from both sides of the family.**
Myranda
I, for one, would love to hear more about how adopted children feel about learning their parents are not their biological parents and how they were told they were adopted, if they ever wish they didn't know, etc. If anyone is interested in sharing, maybe e-mail me offlist? myrandab@...
Thanks!
Myranda, who does have a reason, not just idle curiosity
From: Betsy
I don't think there's any way I can develop my feelings on this without
offending people who are adopted. I think the biological tie is a
strong one. If someone was planting doubts, based on appearance, that
my biological child wasn't my descendant, I would want to reassure the
child. I guess I believe that a biological child has an automatic sense
of belonging. The experience of learning that one is adopted seems to
be disturbing and disorienting at first. (However, this isn't something
I can talk knowledgeably about.)
My two cents,
Betsy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Thanks!
Myranda, who does have a reason, not just idle curiosity
From: Betsy
I don't think there's any way I can develop my feelings on this without
offending people who are adopted. I think the biological tie is a
strong one. If someone was planting doubts, based on appearance, that
my biological child wasn't my descendant, I would want to reassure the
child. I guess I believe that a biological child has an automatic sense
of belonging. The experience of learning that one is adopted seems to
be disturbing and disorienting at first. (However, this isn't something
I can talk knowledgeably about.)
My two cents,
Betsy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/14/02 10:58:44 PM Central Standard Time,
stephanie.elms@... writes:
very curly hair, like their father. Mine was straight. I think people just
say the first thing that comes through their brains when they see cute kids.
what I really dislike is all the tossling of their hair. Sometimes my
children don't like it either.
Elizabeth
stephanie.elms@... writes:
> Most people seem toI got this with my kids a lot too until I permed my hair. My children have
> think that she is the nanny
very curly hair, like their father. Mine was straight. I think people just
say the first thing that comes through their brains when they see cute kids.
what I really dislike is all the tossling of their hair. Sometimes my
children don't like it either.
Elizabeth
wanderingmommy
> From: Betsywithout
> I don't think there's any way I can develop my feelings on this
> offending people who are adopted. I think the biological tie is athat
> strong one. If someone was planting doubts, based on appearance,
> my biological child wasn't my descendant, I would want toreassure the
> child. I guess I believe that a biological child has anautomatic sense
> of belonging. The experience of learning that one is adoptedseems to
> be disturbing and disorienting at first. (However, this isn'tsomething
> I can talk knowledgeably about.)My story might be interesting to you. I never knew my biological
>
> My two cents,
> Betsy
>
>
father (I'll call him "bf"). My mom married my stepdad when I was an
infant. My parentage was not a secret but it was not a hot topic
either. People often say I look just like my mom, only blonde haired
and blue eyed (from bf), but the truth is the similarity is due more
to voice, mannerisms and personality. However, I'm am also definitely
my father's (stepdad) daughter. I share his out-spoken nature (some
say tactless; consider yourself forewarned <beg>), his perfectionism
and, strangely enough, his poor eyesight.
My stepdads family has never treated my as anything other than his
true daughter. So much so that many of my relatives have forgotten
that I was not his biological child. And to complicate matters even
more, I actually DO share his (my stepdads) genetics in a sort of
round about way through my cousins. My mom's brother married my
stepdads sister, so my aunt and uncle and their children are related
to me on both sides of my family. People often say my cousins and I
are more like sisters; we look and act very much alike even though
they really bear a resemblance to my STEPDADS side of the family.
After I had children I became suddenly interested in knowing more
about my ancestry (anyone else experience this?) and I recently
decided to see if I could locate my bf, just for curiosity's sake. I
had one picture of my bf and thought my ds, who doesn't really look
like anyone else in the family, bore a resemblance to him.
I ended up in contact with an aunt and a half-brother I didn't know I
had. Here's another interesting piece of the story. A few months ago
I got to speak with my newly found half-brother (we're both 40yo btw,
another interesting tidbit) and we share many PERSONALITY traits! And
he says our bf also shares some of those traits (turns out that my bf
also did the same thing to my half brother's mom, married her then
skipped town leaving her with an infant to raise).
So, where does nature end and nurture begin? If anyone suggested to
my stepdads family that I wasn't really his daughter because I didn't
share his genes they would call that person nuts! It's so obvious to
anyone who knows us that I am his daughter because we seem to share
so much, both personality-wise and physically. And yet if I ever
actually meet my bf I'm sure it will be apparent that I'm also HIS
daughter, too.
Something to think about.
Beth
PS(I have very clear memories of talking with my mom about the fact
that my beloved daddy was not my "real" dad. It was not traumatic AT
ALL. More interesting than anything else.)
wanderingmommy
> I got to speak with my newly found half-brother (we're both 40yobtw,
> another interesting tidbit) and we share many PERSONALITY traits!And
> he says our bf also shares some of those traits (turns out that mybf
> also did the same thing to my half brother's mom, married her thenSheesh, I just re-read this and it looks like I'm implying that my
> skipped town leaving her with an infant to raise).
half-brother and I are in the habit of abandoning infants! Obviously,
that's not what I meant! <LOL> The traits we share are much more
mundane than that (thankfully). Beth
Myranda
Wow, great story! I'm so glad you got to meet your half-brother. My mom has two of them, and they seem more like "real family" than her other two full brothers do. Thanks for the ps part too!! That's the kind of info I'm looking for!
Myranda
From: wanderingmommy
My story might be interesting to you. I never knew my biological
father (I'll call him "bf"). My mom married my stepdad when I was an
infant. My parentage was not a secret but it was not a hot topic
either. People often say I look just like my mom, only blonde haired
and blue eyed (from bf), but the truth is the similarity is due more
to voice, mannerisms and personality. However, I'm am also definitely
my father's (stepdad) daughter. I share his out-spoken nature (some
say tactless; consider yourself forewarned <beg>), his perfectionism
and, strangely enough, his poor eyesight.
My stepdads family has never treated my as anything other than his
true daughter. So much so that many of my relatives have forgotten
that I was not his biological child. And to complicate matters even
more, I actually DO share his (my stepdads) genetics in a sort of
round about way through my cousins. My mom's brother married my
stepdads sister, so my aunt and uncle and their children are related
to me on both sides of my family. People often say my cousins and I
are more like sisters; we look and act very much alike even though
they really bear a resemblance to my STEPDADS side of the family.
After I had children I became suddenly interested in knowing more
about my ancestry (anyone else experience this?) and I recently
decided to see if I could locate my bf, just for curiosity's sake. I
had one picture of my bf and thought my ds, who doesn't really look
like anyone else in the family, bore a resemblance to him.
I ended up in contact with an aunt and a half-brother I didn't know I
had. Here's another interesting piece of the story. A few months ago
I got to speak with my newly found half-brother (we're both 40yo btw,
another interesting tidbit) and we share many PERSONALITY traits! And
he says our bf also shares some of those traits (turns out that my bf
also did the same thing to my half brother's mom, married her then
skipped town leaving her with an infant to raise).
So, where does nature end and nurture begin? If anyone suggested to
my stepdads family that I wasn't really his daughter because I didn't
share his genes they would call that person nuts! It's so obvious to
anyone who knows us that I am his daughter because we seem to share
so much, both personality-wise and physically. And yet if I ever
actually meet my bf I'm sure it will be apparent that I'm also HIS
daughter, too.
Something to think about.
Beth
PS(I have very clear memories of talking with my mom about the fact
that my beloved daddy was not my "real" dad. It was not traumatic AT
ALL. More interesting than anything else.)
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Myranda
From: wanderingmommy
My story might be interesting to you. I never knew my biological
father (I'll call him "bf"). My mom married my stepdad when I was an
infant. My parentage was not a secret but it was not a hot topic
either. People often say I look just like my mom, only blonde haired
and blue eyed (from bf), but the truth is the similarity is due more
to voice, mannerisms and personality. However, I'm am also definitely
my father's (stepdad) daughter. I share his out-spoken nature (some
say tactless; consider yourself forewarned <beg>), his perfectionism
and, strangely enough, his poor eyesight.
My stepdads family has never treated my as anything other than his
true daughter. So much so that many of my relatives have forgotten
that I was not his biological child. And to complicate matters even
more, I actually DO share his (my stepdads) genetics in a sort of
round about way through my cousins. My mom's brother married my
stepdads sister, so my aunt and uncle and their children are related
to me on both sides of my family. People often say my cousins and I
are more like sisters; we look and act very much alike even though
they really bear a resemblance to my STEPDADS side of the family.
After I had children I became suddenly interested in knowing more
about my ancestry (anyone else experience this?) and I recently
decided to see if I could locate my bf, just for curiosity's sake. I
had one picture of my bf and thought my ds, who doesn't really look
like anyone else in the family, bore a resemblance to him.
I ended up in contact with an aunt and a half-brother I didn't know I
had. Here's another interesting piece of the story. A few months ago
I got to speak with my newly found half-brother (we're both 40yo btw,
another interesting tidbit) and we share many PERSONALITY traits! And
he says our bf also shares some of those traits (turns out that my bf
also did the same thing to my half brother's mom, married her then
skipped town leaving her with an infant to raise).
So, where does nature end and nurture begin? If anyone suggested to
my stepdads family that I wasn't really his daughter because I didn't
share his genes they would call that person nuts! It's so obvious to
anyone who knows us that I am his daughter because we seem to share
so much, both personality-wise and physically. And yet if I ever
actually meet my bf I'm sure it will be apparent that I'm also HIS
daughter, too.
Something to think about.
Beth
PS(I have very clear memories of talking with my mom about the fact
that my beloved daddy was not my "real" dad. It was not traumatic AT
ALL. More interesting than anything else.)
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Myranda
LMBO!!! I didn't read it that way!
Myranda
From: wanderingmommy
Sheesh, I just re-read this and it looks like I'm implying that my
half-brother and I are in the habit of abandoning infants! Obviously,
that's not what I meant! <LOL> The traits we share are much more
mundane than that (thankfully). Beth
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Myranda
From: wanderingmommy
Sheesh, I just re-read this and it looks like I'm implying that my
half-brother and I are in the habit of abandoning infants! Obviously,
that's not what I meant! <LOL> The traits we share are much more
mundane than that (thankfully). Beth
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[email protected]
In a message dated 11/15/02 11:43:13 AM Eastern Standard Time,
ecsamhill@... writes:
adoptees that do.
I have an automatic sense of belonging to my mother's side of the family, but
not to my father's. I would expect that many of my cousins feel that way
about his side also.
The experience of learning that one is adopted seems to
older.! What a shock! Our culture has continually perpetuated the myth that
adopted children are different than biological, that the stereotype of child
doesn't know and surprise! When they are ten they figure it out and ask the
parents then run away because tehy feel so betrayed.
I never "learned" I was adopted, I have always known it. Everyone I know that
was adopted has always known. My feeling of belonging to my Mom doesn't feel
any different to me than my feeling that my children belong to me.
At least I always knew I was wanted, sought after and chosen. What a
blessing.
Elissa
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ecsamhill@... writes:
> . I guess I believe that a biological child has an automatic senseI know TONS of non-adopted people who never had that, and I know lots of
> of belonging.
adoptees that do.
I have an automatic sense of belonging to my mother's side of the family, but
not to my father's. I would expect that many of my cousins feel that way
about his side also.
The experience of learning that one is adopted seems to
>I would think so if a parent or parents never told the child until they were
> be disturbing and disorienting at first.
older.! What a shock! Our culture has continually perpetuated the myth that
adopted children are different than biological, that the stereotype of child
doesn't know and surprise! When they are ten they figure it out and ask the
parents then run away because tehy feel so betrayed.
I never "learned" I was adopted, I have always known it. Everyone I know that
was adopted has always known. My feeling of belonging to my Mom doesn't feel
any different to me than my feeling that my children belong to me.
At least I always knew I was wanted, sought after and chosen. What a
blessing.
Elissa
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susan marie
the other side to this is that my daughters, who would pass for twins if
they weren't four years apart, would prefer if they didn't look so much
alike, and have developed very different styles of dressing and hair. We
talk about genetics and ancestry but more from an interest point of
view. We one time had a discussion of ethnic history. One dd doesn't
like that the ethnic heritage that she has the least interest in is the
one that is the largest % of her genetic makeup. We discussed how that
didn't matter - adopt the heritage or country you are most interested in
and learn about that, be part of that if you want. Choose one that isn't
"you" if you want. However, while hubby is of only one ethnic
background, a friend once joked that my family tree looked like the UN.
<lol> - so it wouldn't be too hard to find things. Other dd is
interested in all things Jewish, and is very drawn to Jewish culture and
holidays. It turns out that I have a Jewish great-aunt, (not a "blood"
relative) who lived in Brooklyn. Good enough. The other part is, we
have three children who are biological, the two step-children are both
adopted. It doesn't seem to affect how the kids see family or
themselves, other than the curiosity that adopted kids often have about
their biological parents.
sorry.. kind of a rambling, disconnected post.
peace,
susan
they weren't four years apart, would prefer if they didn't look so much
alike, and have developed very different styles of dressing and hair. We
talk about genetics and ancestry but more from an interest point of
view. We one time had a discussion of ethnic history. One dd doesn't
like that the ethnic heritage that she has the least interest in is the
one that is the largest % of her genetic makeup. We discussed how that
didn't matter - adopt the heritage or country you are most interested in
and learn about that, be part of that if you want. Choose one that isn't
"you" if you want. However, while hubby is of only one ethnic
background, a friend once joked that my family tree looked like the UN.
<lol> - so it wouldn't be too hard to find things. Other dd is
interested in all things Jewish, and is very drawn to Jewish culture and
holidays. It turns out that I have a Jewish great-aunt, (not a "blood"
relative) who lived in Brooklyn. Good enough. The other part is, we
have three children who are biological, the two step-children are both
adopted. It doesn't seem to affect how the kids see family or
themselves, other than the curiosity that adopted kids often have about
their biological parents.
sorry.. kind of a rambling, disconnected post.
peace,
susan
On Friday, November 15, 2002, at 10:23 AM, Earthmomma67@... wrote:
> In a message dated 11/15/02 12:41:27 AM Eastern Standard Time,
> ecsamhill@... writes:
>
> > I would want to make the point that this is unquestionably "my" child,
> > who is the product of the genes from both sides of the family.
> >
> > Betsy
> >
> >
>
> Out of curiosity, Why? Since I was adopted, I have a hard time
> understanding
> the idea that a biological connection is so important. Can anyone help
> me
> understand?
> Elissa, who is unquestionably her mother's daughter, although Not a
> product
> of the genes from both sides of the family.
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
> ~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
>
> If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please
> email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the
> list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address
> an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
peace,
Susan
"Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which
we arrive at that goal."
-- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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