Thad Martin

hi,

i know that in certain circles turning off the tv is considered the only
thing to do to combat the development of consumerism in children (and
adults). honestly i would normally agree, however, that is not always
the most feasible solution for some families. in the event that your
situations (like mine, i have a disabling disease that has destroyed
much of my shoulder muscles) warrants the use of tv, i suggest that you
talk to your kids about tv like you would any 'drug' or source of
possible danger.

i've run up against the 'nag factor' immediately upon my son's
discovery of commercial tv. within a few months of this discovery we
have been able to explain to him why we feel that buying all those
things is not in his best interest and that what we really want is for
him to find his happiness regardless of circumstance or the possessions
of others. we also told him that it's perfectly ok to desire, but not
to the point where it ruins your day and your core happiness, and that
if you find yourself desirous of something simply acknowledge it and
then find something to do that makes you really happy and appreciate
your life just the way it is. this is a slow process (which has not
been the easiest) and i found that when i stopped judging him for
wanting (and me for using the tv to aid me) things began to shift and i
began to see that in time my son will have a powerful tool, which is the
ability to recognize that those things may be fun but they will never
bring him happiness. with this understanding and perspective he will be
able to foster discernment.

i'm certainly not advocating tv but what i am advocating is a solution
to every situation and that every situation can be used as a learning
experience. i've had two and a half years of facing this dilemma and am
very happy to be on a path that will lead to a strong place, one less
vulnerable to consumerism.

-susan

Carolyn Talarr

Susan wrote:

we also told him that it's perfectly ok to desire, but not
>to the point where it ruins your day and your core happiness, and that
>if you find yourself desirous of something simply acknowledge it and
>then find something to do that makes you really happy and appreciate
>your life just the way it is.

i found that when i stopped judging him for
>wanting (and me for using the tv to aid me) things began to shift and i
>began to see that in time my son will have a powerful tool, which is the
>ability to recognize that those things may be fun but they will never
>bring him happiness. with this understanding and perspective he will be
>able to foster discernment.

This is really beautiful--extremely subtle and powerful. It helps me the
same way that understanding that courage is about persisting in the face of
fear, rather than not experiencing (or copping to) fear at all.

Desire happens--and your son will be so much stronger for being able to see
it, call it by its name, and then make a choice of what he wants to do with
it, rather than not experience it and be blindsided by it sometime.

Thanks for your perspective.
Carolyn